amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Mama2miracles · 10-28-2002, 09:12 PM

I'm finding myself getting very frustrated with my kids over stuff - mess everywhere, coloring on walls, Michael smearing his ecxema cream everywhere ($40 to replace it). It seems that whenever I get something taken care of (Laundry, dishes ect) they've gotton into something else. Their constant fighting with each other and screaming is really getting to me also. Maddy's just at the walking getting into everything stage. Michael is right in the middle of "no, No, don't want" tantruming about everything and refusing to share with his sisters & being really rough with both of them. Melissa doesn't take well to having her stuff taken away or her lego buildings knocked down & her games and art projects ruined by Michael and Maddy. Anyway, I'm just hoping people can post about how they deal with being frustrated and angry with their kids. I do not want to be yelling at them all the time and lately I'm feeling like that's what I've been doing.

AlexNPeytonsMom · 10-30-2002, 03:48 PM

completly. I have a spirited daughter and lately I have been not so patient with her. There is only so much of the mouth. She is only 4 (5 in Decemnber) and her mouth is unreal. She doesn't listen to a word I say and UGHHHHHHH!!!!~!

I need the same encouragement. I am sure its a phase that will pass

Mama2miracles · 10-30-2002, 04:17 PM

Thanks for posting - it is probably the stage - well multiple stages my kids are in right now.

EmmalinesMom · 11-03-2002, 12:22 PM

Em is a good bit younger, but very strong willed. She gets frustrated easily and will swat at us when she's mad. That doesn't really anger me because of her age, but it is very stressful not being able to keep the house clean for more than 15 seconds at a time. So, dh and I agreed that for the next few years, the house wasn't going to be immaculate. Laundry would run at odd hours. Dinner wouldn't be gourmet, lol. We took those pressures off of each other and it has helped me feel less overwhelmed.

No idea if this helped, lol.

Mama2miracles · 11-05-2002, 01:18 PM

It's not the kids swatting ME that's the problem, it's the fighting with EACH OTHER!! Any of the kids is pretty much no problem (outside of the normal mess and stuff) if (by some miracle) they are the only one awake or the only one with me. SIL took Melissa (3) and Michael (2) on Sunday and it was wonderful to just have Maddy with us all day, I can't remember the last time, I've had such a calm relaxed day (Madeleine is 12mths) It's the screaming at each other, hitting biting, fighting over toys, along with the occasionally really awful or expensive mess. The last couple days have been better - I'm taking a parenting class about child development 0-5years now every friday morning for 2 hours. I'm not learning much new, but at least I get out of the house and see other parents and they have free child care for the kids.

edit here: thank you for posting - I do need to work on not letting mess bug me. Your Emmaline looks so adorable - I can't believe she would have a bad temper! LOL. Maddy has a temper too, like none of the others. SIL could NOT believe it last night because she's never seen a 1 year old full fledge tantrum before. She said she would have thought from the sounds of it that the baby was being abused or something, but nope, she was just MAD because she couldn't have what she wanted!

ElDucko · 11-08-2002, 05:13 PM

I was just about to post the same thing!

I too have a 1yo who tantrums, she's been doing it for a while. Don't even get me started on the 4yo........

I think they are feeling part of my and dhs stress from living in another person's house while we get our lives back together, and we're all in the one room most of the time.

So, tips anyone?

waterlily · 11-14-2002, 02:48 PM

cheryl,

I have had a very hard time dealing with my own anger too. I felt so out of control of my home situation. What is really helping me is to have a tool I can count on in dealing with my 2 yo. I am following the steps on this website http://www.aolff.org/5steps.htm
And more often than not as soon as I say - Would you like me to help you...?" She does what I ask. I can't believe how something so simple helped me gain control of my anger. Mostly I think it's because I have something *I* can count on, giving her reasonable time before I intervene.

It is so hard to try to stay ahead of things with kids running around. I sympathize. My laundry, actually, might be the death of me. My tombstone will read - death by laundry.

lamade · 11-14-2002, 02:58 PM

The thing that has helped me the most is a change in *my* attitude towards things. It seemed that most of the events that led me to feeling anger were related to things getting messed up, broken, not cleaned adequately, etc. Once I accepted that my children, and my relationship them, was more important that my things, my anger subsided (didn't totally disappear, mind you, just subsided!)

Also, I learned to give myself a time-out to cool down before I dealt with them when they did need some guidance. I go to a different room until I calm down.