amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

bluemountain · 08-06-2002, 04:22 PM

I have seen a lot of reference to the negative use of rewards, but cannot find the thread everyone keep smentioning!. I am very interested in the effects of this as I find I do this sometimes with my ds.
I am consciously trying to develope a healthy parenting style and as my 2 1/2 yo grows it is more important with every day it seems. I feel that I do mainly positive parenting, but there are a few things that I need to find alternatives for and rewards is one of them.
Does anyone have any more info??
Thanks

Empathic~Heart · 08-06-2002, 10:32 PM

that I think might be what you're looking for.

http://www.amitymama.com/vb/showthre...&threadid=1968

http://www.amitymama.com/vb/showthre...&threadid=3095

http://www.amitymama.com/vb/showthre...threadid=18691

http://www.amitymama.com/vb/showthre...&threadid=2435

The book I highly recommend is Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn. There are a few threads with articles he has written.

HTH, and keep posting if more comes up on this topic for you! This is one that doesn't get enough discussion IMO!

That's generally speaking, not here specifically!

bluemountain · 08-06-2002, 10:57 PM

Thanks Amy!
I am finding these threads helpful and plan to find that book as well and read it. I just find myself saying " If you do this, then you get that ...." all too often and I feel that it is the wrong thing to be doing. Hopefully I can find the right thing and we will all benefit from it.
You are a great resource on gentle guidance and I appreciate all the info that you post to other mamas . Thank you

Empathic~Heart · 08-07-2002, 07:09 PM

Awe, gee.

I hope you find what you need!