amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

woodfairie · 10-02-2002, 02:31 PM

I am so disturbed right now!! Dd is picking up on all those horrible, racist, sexist messages that are all over the place!! I am so careful about what she is exposed to!! We try to only watch select cartoons that have positive messages (and are working on eliminating the tv all together). I started teaching her about media images last year...when ads came on, I would explain that they were just trying to make their cereals, toys, etc look really good and fun by adding cartoon animals and stuff so people wanted to buy them (even though they do not even taste good). I have tons of books that celebrate all the diversity in the world. Harmony's montessori school spends a large amount of time learning about all of the wonderful cultures and religions in the world.
But she is still picking up on the pervasive stereotypes that are everywhere

Yesterday, she told me that "indians are mean...they always do bad things"

So we spent time talking about how the tv and books sometimes make native americans look like they are really mean, but this is not really true. That everything on tv is not really true.
So dd says "well some indians do bad things" so we talked about how some PEOPLE do bad things, but you cannot tell by what people look like whether they will do bad things or not.

And I will not even go into the "Superman is so good...he is so strong that he can save all the girls" She has never, ever, ever even seen a superman cartoon or book!!

It just infuriates me that these messages are everywhere!! I have no idea where she even got these ideas??? It saddens me to think of all the children who have absorbed these ideas whose parents will never take the time to correct these stereotypes. It saddens me that even though I have been trying to protect dd from these stereotypes, I have not been able to.

So what do you mamas do to protect your children against all these messages? And what do you do when they absorb them anyways?
Christy

tara · 10-02-2002, 02:37 PM

We don't do TV, we live in a multicultural environment (4 distinct races and 5 languages represented on my block!), and we model non-prejudiced words and actions. Sam is still 2 and is with me most of the time, so his outside influences are limited. I haven't heard him make any culturally stereotypical comments, but I'm sure he will one day despite my efforts. Just like you, I'll take that opportunity to explain what a stereotype is, and what damage it can do.

I think you are doing the right thing by explaining what TV is and isn't. That will go a long way, not just with racial stereotyping.

You're doing a great job, I think you just need to keep on keeping on.

Tara

Mama2HoneyBears · 10-02-2002, 03:14 PM

That'sa toughie---my thoughts are this---I can protect my kids some from stuff like this but unless I totally isolate them from society they are going to see and hear this garbage. I always make sure my kids and I talk whenever things come up---we live ina very multiracial area which helps

My 5 yr old is very comfortable with people with different religions and skin colors. Good luck mama---I know it's tough, we as parents are the best people to model and discuss with the kids why what they're saying isn't correct.

pmjmomma · 10-02-2002, 05:24 PM

and then I talk some more.

DH and I are concerned about this, as we both grew up in very culturally diverse areas, and now we don't live in one. (and have no better options nearby)

I try to listen very closely to their play, and talk to them about my feelings, even if the infraction is small. I agree that I can't totally isolate them, nor would I want to. I figure we'll have to deal with this eventually, so if we do it when they are young, it will become a part of them.

Just recently, my eldest (5) picked up "little House in the big Woods." I caught my breath, b/c of all of the negative sterotyping. Instead of taking it away, i talked to her about what I thought, why i thought it was wrong, and how lots of things change over time. She came to me at certain parts, and we discussed it further. All in all, I think it was a good learning experience.

Candace · 10-02-2002, 05:39 PM

Get rid of all programmed TV. Honest. If you use vids they are only getting what you specifically allow.

ChristinaMarie · 10-03-2002, 05:33 AM

I agree that it is hard to keep stereotypes from my kids when it is all around us. I try to fill our home with good books and we only do one or two dvd's a week, no more tv here.
Just curious, why is Little House in the Big Woods bad? It has been years since I've read it, but I don't remember anything bad?
Christina

pmjmomma · 10-03-2002, 09:13 AM

There are negative comments about native americans in it - Reflective of the attitude of the times, but IMHO not appropriate for young children in today's society without some explaination.

BUT, as I'm not willing to throw out the baby with the bathwater, we do read these beeks, and talk about the negative-type stuff, misconceptions, etc.