it was really hard the first few weeks. colin was super jealous and i was hormonal and teary and wondered hy i ever thought it was a good idea to have a second baby. after the first few weeks though, things got a lot easier. colin got used to sharing his mama and now he loves his sister to pieces. he gets jealous occasionally but nowhere near the hell of that first week.
well, we are only on day 8 as a kid family here but it has actually gone much easier than i expected.
Hunter has been a little jelous of his sister but mostly he just wants to know that Mama still wants to cuddle with him too. I make a point to put the baby down while she is asleep (the kid loves her moses basket!) and hold Ds in my lap. He has asked to try to nurse and I have let him. He has forgotten how to latch on and suck so he's not getting anything but it makes him feel good so I let him ( I wish he still remebered so he could relieve a little pressure for me! LOL). YK?
Hunter is 3 (his bday was the day before Callan was born!) so that may have something to do with how well he has adjusted. We talked alot about the baby before she was born. He didn't seem suprised to see me holding his sister for the first time adn was really excited to meet her.
Now, this next week may be a completely different story because Dh had to go out of town for work and we won't see him for the next 3-4 weeks...
I am sure that everything will be
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Michelle
Wife to one Mama to four.
SOoooo much easier than the adjustment from 0 to 1!!!
You are already in mama mode full swing and you will not have all those "what do I do with a newborn" jitters because you have been there!
Your older child will adjust just fine, because they have to ya know? For us the first few weeks were only hard in that I wanted to spend 110% of my attention with the baby and resting but the life of a toddler goes on and they still need you, so just make sure they know you are still there for them.
Another mama gave me a piece of advice once that has been very valuable... Once in a while tell the baby (for the other child's sake) that they are going to have to wait for mommy to finish with his brother because it is his turn to have mommy's attention. When my oldest hears this it makes him happy to know that he won't always take second place to nursing, diapering, rocking the baby and he feels special. Even though the baby has no clue what you are saying your other child will and it makes an impression.
Best of luck to you! Can't wait to hear about your new little one's arrival!
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Liz
Natural parenting my 2 boys
The birth of Kajsa was a wonderful thing. Ds had asked for a baby sister when he was 3 and when he was 4 she arrived!
Many times during pg I had worried, "what am I doing to our happy little family?" I worried that ds would feel left out, but that didn't come to pass.
We made sure to meet our ds's needs as they arose and I was careful to not rearrange all of our lives to fit around the baby. She adapted to our family, not we to her. did that make sense? I wore her almost constantly, she slept with us, went everywhere with us -- kind of attached to me -- and we didn't change the routines that our son was used to. Hope that was clearer.
To be honest with you, it was super easy for us. But, we have always envisoned a large family, and motherhood is the one thing that comes naturally for me--things that frustrate others (sleepless nights, whining, spit up, diapers) I take in stride. So. . .going from one to two was easy and two to three was a snap! Can't wait for number 4!
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Pam,
mama to Andrew(6/96) William (5/99)
Owen (3/02), and Ethan (4/04)
Wife to Matt since 6/11/95
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I've done it twice and it was hard both times. I always say it was harder than going from two to three.
When I had Shannon in 1988, Ashton was 19 months. She was wonderful, we never had any probs with her, but I remember wondering if I would EVER get to take a shower again. Now I know that the worst thing was a lazy husband who NEVER helped me. He's gone
When I had Jason, Cathlin was 27 months. Poor thing....she was the center of EVERYONE's attention, and it was really hard on her, despite the fact that I think we did everything we could to help her adjust. We kept her in our bedroom, and I tried to keep her routine as normal as possible. But we went through a lot of trying times with her being rough, rolling on him, pushing him down....you name it. He's real close to being big enough to lay into her It's getting better with them though, and I think they'll be close as they grow up since everyone else is so much older.
One thing that helps is to drastically lower your expectations. I never expected things to smooth out in X amount of time kwim? I just figured it was going to be different from now on and it was.
Soren was a very easy baby, and Airon was far more flexible than I thought he would be. Now, Airon did turn three and all heck broke loose. I just think that is a difficult age. Adding a new sibling was very hard for him at that point.
As far as the extra work and hugs and kisses? Those were a non-issue here.
I am also a person who can survive on little sleep so none of that stuff starts to get to me until about age 2. LOL
You'll do great! Take advantage of any help you are offered. You can give Eli more cuddles that way.
If there is one thing that I regret it is that I didn't have Airon on any sort of set schedule or routine at that point. He was still sort of ruling the roost as far as choosing eating and bedtimes. So, to put him off, was very hard. He would want it *now!* and I couldn't always do it then. Both of my boys have a very flexible routine regarding eating now. They also have a very predictable and enjoyable bedtime routine. IOW, I know when they are going to bed and they will fall asleep quickly when I take them. To me, it is easier to incorporate a new one into an established routine for older kids than it is to try to work around 2 differing schedules (and yours too!). I would never schedule a baby, but it works pretty well for toddlers and older kids.
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My Parenting Blog! Respond with Love
She was walking around "commando" all morning AT CHURCH.
That is so funny! You'll remember that for a long time. The other day I took Airon (old enough to dress himself!) to a softball game with one sock on and one bare foot in his sneaker. He dressed himself, but I never even thought to give him the *once over*.
well as my hubby put it! one new member and it changes everybody life!
our new cutie wakes us all up! lol including her sister! her sister loves her though! not at all jealous! she sits adn talks to her and hold up toys to her! but thye are almost 6 years apart! so maybe that has somethign to do with it!
it's hard on me!
bf is not easy! well at least not for me! and i'm not as used to being the only ONE that can feed our baby. the changing dipes, spits up are ok. the new smll to my clothes is funny! breastmilk store!!!!!!!!!!!! and i wish all baby poop could be odorless like this ! :0)
but it hasn't been easy! my daughter is 9 days old! and i still can't get around like i want to! c-section, i still cry sometimes. and i think to myself this is what you wanted?????? and you got it now!!!!!!!!! and i get a littel depressed! i don't get enough sleep, b/c as soon as i do, baby is up!
but all in all i know there's a joy in me for my new daughter and i love her. but there are times when you quesstion yourself for the first few weeksi guess. it just dawns on me i'm 24 with 2 children and married, and a housewife. kinda allot to swallow tsometimes.
oh well! what a difference a new one makes!
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A FRIEND is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
Brianne Nicole 10/9/96
A'Leah Bre'Asia 8/30/02
Jesus paid a bill HE didn't OWE!
THINK aboutTHAT
blessings
for a few weeks before and after ds (#2) was born.
MY Dad would play with dd who was about 2 1/2 then, the only problem was that she didn't speak much German and he didn't speak much English so she had quite a few tantrums because Opi told her not to do something or she didn't understand him.
She was good with the baby most of the time, wanted to kiss and hug him alot.
I made a point of still being the one to put her to bed, she really loved that time alone with Mama.
My Mom would hold ds after I nursed him and I would put dd to bed, read her a few stories and cuddle with her.
After they left it was alot harder to keep dd busy and do things with her. But she also learned to help me with him.
Monika
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SAHM of dd (1/97) and ds (8/99)
I don't remember a lot of jealousy (maybe the is selective memory). Ara was pretty pleased with her new sister, she was 2.5 when Simone was born. The two things I had a very hard time with were getting absolutely nothing done and nursing. I am use to being a pretty darn effecient person and getting lots done during the day, but after Mone was born I had to cut back a lot more than I expected.
And nursing, ahhh yes, well I stinking hate tandem nursing. Never wanted to do it, we had planned to have our second after Ara weaned. I ended up greatly limiting Ara's nursing, which caused lots of battles.
One thing we did that was definitely a great help was we transitioned Ara's bedtime routine to John putting her down at night. I would nurse her, then she would go to John for stories and cuddles. I don't know what we would have done if we handn't changed that.
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Allison
mama to Ara, Simone, and Zarin
your other child will and it makes an impression.
Wonderfully!
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