amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

twinmamaheidi · 09-28-2006, 07:09 PM

Okay, I thought this would be a good place to post this. I am new to AmityMama and this forum hit home. My husband has a daughter that is the same age as my oldest daughter. They were born days apart. (I didn't know him then.) He was a drup addict back then and after he got saved he tried to contact the mom but she told him never to contact her again. He doesn't know much other than she was born and given up for adoption. He had only been off drugs for about a month before she was born so he prayed for the baby to be healthy, to be given up for adoption and for the parents to be Christians. Well, he would like to find the family. He doesn't want to intrude on her life, but he does want to let the family know who he is and where to contact him when they feel it is the right time. He would also like to know how she is and find out about her. I want to be clear that his intent is to NOT disturb her life at all! He only wants to talk to the adoptive parents so that they can know about him and then make the best decision for their daughter. He is in no way trying to take his daughter away from her parents. She will be 8 in December and I know it is hard on him. I had 2 children from a previous marriage and we now have 3 together. So, I said all that to say do any of you know where he can start to find her. She was born in CA and we just moved to Texas. We also don't have money for an attorney. Thanks for any help you can provide.

Heidi

Kerri · 09-29-2006, 06:01 PM

The simplest thing is to contact the agency she was placed by so they can pass along the message to the family. Your husband probably would have had to have been notified of what was going on at the time.

Kerri

twinmamaheidi · 09-30-2006, 01:16 AM

No, he was never notified. I don't know if the mom said she didn't know who the father was or if they posted it in the newspaper or what but he doesn't know anything at all about her other than what a mutual friend told him. His friend said that the mom had a girl and she was born the beginning of December and she was healthy. Maybe he should just contact all the adoption agencies where we used to live. Thanks for the suggestion it has gotten both of us thinking.