amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

beanandpumpkin · 10-15-2004, 09:17 PM

DH and I are almost definitely sure that we are done making and having babies. While of course I love my babies and toddlers, it's hard work, and I feel "done" having babies/very small children. Somehow, though, I still feel like someone is "missing."

I think that that "someone" is an older child who needs to be adopted. Or maybe it's "someones." DH is not opposed to the idea. We both agree that we could not take in any other child for at least a year, because Rebecca needs to be talking well and not so dependent on me for everything. So nothing that we have to decide on right this minute.

So what do we need to do? I really dont' think we could do foster care, as I know I'd get too attached to the kids. Also, this may sound selfish, but I do not want to get involved with a child with severe emotional or physical problems. Race does not matter at all to us, and I think we'd be willing to do two siblings together. Maybe up to age 6 or 7. Oh, and we probably would not have a lot of money to spend on such an adoption. I mean unless we won the lotto (which we don't even play!), or if we got an inheritance or something.

I have no idea how long such a process takes, or who I'd even call, or how much all of this would cost! Any suggestions?

Michelle

Momof6 · 10-16-2004, 10:56 AM

Michelle,

We felt the same way about fostering.

We have adopted twice....and had one placement (which would have been our third adoption) that did not work out.

If you go through your local dept of health and human services (or family services...whatever your state calls it) then it will be free.

You are not just restricted to your own state, you can tap into state dept of health and human services all across the country!!!

There are sooooo many older children and sib groups.

I remember one site....do a google on it..."Faces of Adoption". That should bring up a HUGE listing of available children.

Also, if you do go through your state system, your child or children will most likely come with paid medical until they are age 18 which can come in handy.

Both of our adoptions were private. So if you want to talk about expenses etc...for those, PM me. Our adoptions were of children with high special needs however.

Hugs,
Michelle

ps. Someone probably IS missing!!!!!

SmartyMama · 10-16-2004, 01:26 PM

I wish I could help mama, but I only know how to go through the foster system. Good luck!!