amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

TulaneMama · 03-24-2008, 04:42 PM

how would I do this? Do I just tap him and use the affirming statments? I don't think that he would do it on his own.

Linda · 03-27-2008, 03:17 AM

EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else look up surrogate tapping and see what comes up. There are also forums there if you want to sign up.

actually first you start with the negative statements. You can tap on yourself surrogately for him. You can sit quietly, imagine your son...and say "this is for..." and then do the tapping phrases..for whatever you are trying to clear.

I always recommend that parents clear themselves on the issues for their children FIRST. Then surrogate tap for their child. This way, you clear your issues and you can be clear and present for you child.

Affirmations are great, but you need to clear out the junk first before you can put in the good stuff.

If you want to give a specific example of something you want to work on, I can try to help more specifically.

TulaneMama · 03-27-2008, 10:56 PM

i was thinking of how we butt heads and his aggression towards me.

i will look up surrogate tapping. thx linda!~

nak

Linda · 03-28-2008, 03:13 AM

here is a good example from the forums..
Surrogte Tapping - eft4kids

Hello Parents, Grandparents and Caregivers,

Many of you have asked about surrogate or proxy tapping. This is how I use surrogate tapping for kids. It is really quite simple. No need to make it complicated. Following are some general guidelines:

1. You do not have to be in the same room with your child. In fact, if he is actively upset, it is better to go someplace more peaceful. If he is calm, sit near him or hold him on your lap. Say the words out loud or to your self if he is really resistant. A great time for surrogate tapping is when your child is a sleep. You can slip the tapping in right under his radar.

2. A good place to begin is to tap your Collarbone Point and say, “My intention is to help Junior by seeing this issue through his eyes and feeling his feelings through his heart because I love him.”

3. Tap yourself to clear your own energy. Example: “Even though I am upset/concerned/sad/angry (pick one or insert your own) about Junior’s issue (describe the issue), I completely accept and love myself and him.” Alternate or additional statements could be…“I choose to be calm and loving about this issue” or “…I release my negative feelings of frustration/anger/guilt” or “…I choose to be calm, confident and caring.”

4. When talking about “becoming” the child, what is meant is that after clearing your own issues, try to put yourself in his place or look at the issue from his perspective.

5. Tap yourself “as if” you are your child. Make your statement in the first person.

6. You can start with your child’s resistance to tapping. Use your child’s own exact words whenever you can. Example: “Even though I think this tapping is dumb/stupid/silly or won’t work, I am willing to give it a try, anyway.”

7. Now just tap yourself for the issues at hand. Don’t worry about the SUDS; you have a good idea what the intensity is. You might want to throw in that “Even though I am feeling mad/sad/bad, I know Mommy and Daddy (let’s not forget about the Dads!) love me and care about me.”

8. Be open. Be child like. Be persistent. Be patient. Be silly! Most of all, be gentle with yourself.

Happy Tapping!
Nurse Crilly
Author of "Tap It and Zap It!"
Your EFT Coach, Emotional Freedom Techniques for peace.
Practitioner's Discussion Moderator

TulaneMama · 03-28-2008, 08:00 PM

wow!