amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

gabwife · 10-08-2007, 05:55 PM

How do I get around this block I have?I have been trying to get to the point of getting things done and I seem to end with I don't want to do XYZ not really I don't it's just too hard and I DON'T WANT TO.And then things just do not get done.So how do you get around this tail ender?I see where it is a block for some people and they eventually find what the core is for the I don't want to but It seems as if it is almost a passive aggressive thing.I don't want to you can't make me.No way not happening.So how do I overcome this self defeating thing.On one hand I want to get to these projects and chores and clutter and on the other I don't want to it's too hard.I'm just going to have to do it all over again.So why do it in the first place?It's just going to get worse if I do not take care of it now.But I don't want to do it.Really It needs to get done.
And so the self talk goes.Half of the time I get the project done the other half it gets put off till it is worse than before.What is this need to have a big mess to fix rather than take care of things while they are still manageable?

lakshmi_mama · 10-09-2007, 03:43 AM

What is it specifically (if you feel okay with posting) that you don't want to do? And, more importantly - why is it not okay that you just plain don't want to do something? Who, including all the 'who's inside of yourself' is telling you that you must want to do it and what is the 'agreement' that your end of the deal is to do it?

Just some questions to see if maybe there is some other direction for you to go with your tapping rather than trying to push it to the end goal of you wanting to do something and doing it. It sounds to me like there may be a piece of the puzzle that is getting skipped over somewhere in there.

Deborah · 10-09-2007, 10:54 AM

Hi Treva,

This is a perfect case of using the rebel approach -- tap on everything you don't want to do, really get into no one being able to control you ... exaggerate the language and really get into naming your worst thoughts about yourself ....

Your goal for this tapping is to be at peace with where you are ... (just like Katie mentioned ...) Then you will find more choices open to you.

So,
Even though I hate this mess, and I can't clean up and I won't clean up, and nobody can make me, not even myself, and I feel go guilty and I feel so dirty and I feel so messy myself, I'm open to the idea of loving myself, even though I'm in this state.

Even though I won't clean up, and I'm never going to be able to get things together, never have, never will, and I DON't WANT TO, (it's okay to yell with this!), I am open to the idea of forgiving myself for being lazy.

Even though I like having things tidy, but I hate feeling responsible for it all, and I just need a break from being the house-slave, I love and accept myself and forgive myself.

See what happens ... and don't judge yourself it it doesn't work. Try adding in the gamut(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAHnM6vOCXMand) and if that doesn't work, just ask for more help ....

Big Hugs,
Deb.

Linda · 10-09-2007, 04:43 PM

Remember EFT is a pattern INTERRUPT. You can tap while you complain about stuff...the Rebel tapping as Deborah put it.
It takes the tension out of it and then it does open you up to making a decision more easily. (yes, opening more choices) instead of being 'stuck' in the tension.

If you find yourself on the phone complaining to someone about something...tap while you complain! Read what you wrote here and tap while you read it.

I know I read over and over again about how when you clean up the mental clutter, often then you are then able to attack the physical clutter.

When thinking about core issues, you can think about other times you felt this way...thinking back in time. Maybe the worst time that you felt this way.
Also, where is the feeling in your body when you feel"I DON"T want to do it, it is too hard you can't make me?" Do you feel something in your body when you are thinking these thoughts? Then you can tap on that feeling and chase the pain. Just describe the bodily feeling as you tap..."this 4 inthe pit of my stomach..." etc and then as the feeling changes and moves(if it does) use the appropriate words to continue to describe it.
here is an example of that
Finding and Dealing with Core Events

gabwife · 10-10-2007, 03:59 PM

Deb, Thanks so much I think you hit the nailon the head with the rebel issues.
I'm going to use the other suggestion from Linda and see if I can get the result I need.Just comming to the point of admitting that it was an issue has put it out there where I can do something about it.I have so much clutter to go through.