amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Cygnet09 · 05-02-2009, 02:23 AM

I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas for tapping about my DDs anxiety. It seems mainly to stem from her asthma (which she only has after catching a virus - it isn't a constant "wheezing" asthma - her anxiety from it is mainly due to the lack of control she experiences when she coughs so much and so hard that she vomits) and she is very anxious when home (because she has only experienced her attacks here at home) and mildly anxious when out. She has specific fears regarding monsters, etc and some generalized anxiousness. We have tapped twice for about 5 minutes each time, once tonight and once two nights ago. I do all the points and we say things like: even tho i am scared about monsters/going into the bathroom by myself/being alone in the bedroom, i'm a great kid. We'll say each one as I tap, including the karate chop point. I come up with things to say based on our talks and she will also contribute. She loves the "i'm a great kid!" part!

I'm just wondering if there are other script options, if I should be tapping her for longer or more frequently (that would be hard with my schedule) and when we should see some results. We will be taking her to a psychiatrist next month and I would love to reduce her issues such that she won't need anti-anxiety drugs.

Thanks for any help!

ETA: She's 6.

Rhea · 05-03-2009, 04:29 PM

I've been using the choices method a lot lately. Your daughter might like it. Instead of "Even though I'm scared about monsters I'm a great kid," you would put in what she does choose to be such as, "Even though I'm scared about monsters I choose to know and feel I'm safe."

You would say that three times on the karate chop point, and then when you go around the energy points you alternate between the unwanted and the chosen - first point would be "I'm scared about monsters" and next point would be "I choose to know and feel I'm safe" and you keep alternating the two. I heard an EFT practitioner describe it as making a connection in the brain between the habit pattern and the new choice.

I had a friend whose mom only had asthma attacks in her home. Could there possibly be something in your home?

Love,
Rhea

Linda · 05-05-2009, 06:41 AM

Thanks for the questions!

{hugs} I have considerable empathy for wanting to help our kids. For me I felt so helpless(much less so these days) when they were out of sorts(eczema, tantrums, digestive issues...thumb sucking all made me feel SO HELPLESS).

The first thing I suggest to all parents, is to clear their own issues first. So, any feelings your have related to your dd's anxiety. Do you feel helpless? Sad? Angry? Tell the TRUTH. and tap on it. Get your anxiety down about your daughter's issues, and THEN you can be clear and present for her. What are your fears/feelings in regards to her anxiety, psychiatrist visits? meds? Our children feel our stuff.I have noticed massive shifts in my relationship with my children..when I have shifted my own issues.

Then...
I am a big fan of the movie technique. It is a great way to get kids(and grownups) to see a real difference in how the felt about a story before they tapped and after. So you could ask your dd...if there is something that happened in her life..that she wished didn't..ask her for a movie title...and tap on the story she tells. Want a beginning middle and end. Once she gets the intensity down...to a 4/10 or less..ask her to rewrite it exactly the way she wished it would have happened. Then tap on the new version.

When she has fears about stuff...you can ask her...waht is it about the monsters that is scary? Eyes, mouth, fur? scales? tell me what do you notice the most? Etc.Tap on the aspects that are scary....ask her if she remembers a time that was the scariest for her? or the scariest monster?

Be VERy open when tapping with her..asking open questions..and not being dictatorial. Your stuff is dictatorial. Her stuff is directive.

Remind her she can tap without you if she is feeling like it. We have a tappy bear here, and the kids love him. She can tap on her stuffed animal of choice...and t is the same as tapping on herself.

Has your dd always been anxious? or did it start at a certain age? What was going on in her life when she became anxious?

Keep us posted, please ask questions..and sending you lots of love.

Cygnet09 · 05-09-2009, 05:17 PM

Thank you both for such wonderful, compassionate advice. She seems to be doing better within the past few days, even though I am not tapping her every day. I did again last night and she was bored with it - but I hadn't had a chance to review what you wrote, so we did the same-old, same-old.

I'm printing this out so that I can look it over and we will try again tonight. I also appreciate the move toward letting her guide the storyline - when we have been tapping I have tried to start and then encouraged her to jump in with her thoughts which has seemed to help immensely - this will be a good and specific way to continue that.

Rhea, I added in the "I choose to feel safe" part when I read your message and that has been when I started to see some improvements! Thank you.

Linda, I am going to print your info out so that I can read it right before tapping her - it's chock full of good stuff and I don't want to forget anything!

Thank you both again - I will update once I've gotten a few more sessions under our belts!

tapping · 08-22-2009, 02:45 AM

Hi.....There are many sites on net which provides information about Tapping...you can find out from there.
The Top 10 Tapping tips are:-
Opposite Hand Tapping
Argument Tapping
Refusal Tapping
Look in the Mirror
Singing Affirmations (while you tap)
Singing Affirmations (while you tap)
Guest Tapping
Photo Tapping
Past Tense Tapping
"You" Tapping

Thank You