amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

BJewels79 · 12-03-2005, 05:35 PM

I think we've done fairly good with our gifts this year. Benjamin will get some toys, but nothing too outlandish. My ILs have always done a HUGE Christmas, but hopefully this year they got the picture that we don't *need* anything. I told her for DS to get things like Crayons/craft supplies, bubbles, etc...things that we'll replace throughout the year as they run out. They did splurge and get him a pedal tractor for outdoors, but aside from his swing it will be his only outdoor toy right now.

I mostly posted because I wanted tell a little story that seems to fit this thread. Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty *well off*. I can see now we weren't rich by any means, my parents always had used cars that were driven until they couldn't be fixed, we had a huge garden and the majority of our food came from there, clothes were always passed down until they were unwearable and then they were rags, etc....but they also splurged every once in a great while on things. Like getting us a pool (above ground, nothing fancy) that lasted for over 10 years! But our Christmas's were always very modest, I never remember getting the amounts of stuff that my ILs always give us even now. Recently, my mom and I were talking about her getting started crocheting again like she did when we were little. We have lots of beautiful dolls that she made us that my sister and I both treasure (as well as dresses, other toys, etc). She told me that the year that Cabbage Patch kids came out, my sister and I both wanted one very bad. I don't even remember it. But my parents couldn't afford to get us one even if it was our only gift. So my mom decided to attempt to crochet one for each of us. She told me that each night after we went to bed she worked on the dolls for over a month. She said she cried every night because she wanted to get us the real thing, not some dolls she made. Well, obviously we LOVED those dolls! I remember thinking how neat my *Cabbage Patch kid* was compared to my friends *real* doll. I still have it sitting proudly in my home. How sad though to think that my mom cried because she was so wrapped up in getting the *real* thing huh? I know we wouldn't still treasure a *real* doll like we do this one.

meemee · 12-03-2005, 06:30 PM

I don't have any feelings either way about getting more "stuff", but darn it I desperately WANT that Hoosier cabinet in your siggy pic.

It's beautiful!

chinacat · 12-03-2005, 06:42 PM

Every year, Kaleb and i sit down and go through all of his toys and pick out a bunch to bring to the toy drive here in town. When i tell him these thing are going to kids who won't get christmas gifts he is very willing to part with alot of stuff. It has worked really well for us every year.
Also we only get the kids 3 gifts each. One thing is bought and the other two are made by us.

Julia

Lindy12 · 12-03-2005, 06:45 PM

I think I've done really well this year...well compared to past years lol.
Aaron sold a ton of toys and the kids both gave up 50% of what they had this year to charity.
I also donated boxes and boxes of stuff.
It felt good, both to give and to be rid of the clutter!!
We like to purge right before Christmas and birthdays.

heythereheather · 12-03-2005, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3kids+aSheltie

I may be flamed. But my kids are having a HUGE Christmas this year, thanks to my mom. They will probably get about 2x as they would normally get. My kids lost everything in the hurricane and I think they deserve to be "spoiled" a bit.

But all that being said I do think Christmas is out of control, I have a friend who spends at least $1,000 per kid(she has 3) on what seems like nothing but junk

I'm sorry you think you'd get flamed for that!! I'm so glad your kids will have a special Christmas. It's not the same as adding 2x as much on TOP of everything they already have, and getting a lot of stuff to replace everything they lost.

And I can't imagine spending $1000 per kid. I just can't even wrap my mind around it. I have "wants" that we won't get, but even if I got EVERYTHING on my mental wishlist, I can't even come up with $500 total. Wow.

littleturtle · 12-03-2005, 06:49 PM

Like Lisa, the holiday is focused on the religious for us as well and we try not to dwell on the gift aspect. WE do three gifts for each child, to reflect the gifts of the magi - one "physical" (this year it's ice skates since the older boys are taking lessons) one "mental" (board game, computer game, puzzle or a book) and one "fun/luxury" (this year it's a joint gift for the older two boys, a set of the really nice long-range walkie talkies) I hate bringing more stuff into the house, so we also do a "helper hunt" around the house the first week of Dec, and the boys each pick out several things they'd like to give to a child at one of the local domestic shelters. Then we go sometime in the 2nd or 3rd week and deliver them, and the boys have a meal and play with the kids.

For family gifts, I always ask for an animal from heifer for my gift, and DH asks for a donation to Bethany Christian Services. For our gifts to each other we usually do an "experience" thing (a weekend away, a play, concert, etc) This year I'm getting DH a tangible thing that he's been wanting forever, it's a wire tree to hang in our living room and he got me tickets to something (I don't knwo waht, but the fedex envelop arrived yesterday from tickets my way, LOL!) We really are conscious of trying not to add to tthe *stuff* and I think that our focus is really able to stay on what we think the season is about

Charity · 12-03-2005, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by )O(Meeshi)O(

The girls do not have a ton of toys, we like to keep it down to a smaller quantity of quality toys... But, in the grand scheme of things, they have waaaaay more than enough. Grandparents are calling to see what else they need, and in my mind, I feel like we don't need more stuff. We have tons of kids books (over 400), puzzles (over 30), art supplies out the wazoo... They have more then enough stuffed animals, dolls, accessories...

We hit the point of being tired of just having "stuff" too, and simplified this past year. I am so much happier this way.

How about giving away some of the puzzles you have, and letting Grandma get the girls some new puzzles. That way you can still keep the clutter down, while letting Grandma still buy the girls a new gift they will love.
Same with books. My kids get bored with the same books, so during the holidays I like to go through the books, get rid of some, and that way there's room for some new ones without adding to the clutter. You could also do the same with stuffed animals and dolls. Keeping a set amount of favorites, and giving the rest away to those who don't have any. Then the girls will have the space to receive another doll or stuffed animal from a relative. Oh, and new stuff doesn't have to be new. You can replace things given away, with gently used items from a thrift store or garage sale too.

xt · 12-03-2005, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BJewels79

I mostly posted because I wanted tell a little story that seems to fit this thread. Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty *well off*. I can see now we weren't rich by any means, my parents always had used cars that were driven until they couldn't be fixed, we had a huge garden and the majority of our food came from there, clothes were always passed down until they were unwearable and then they were rags, etc....but they also splurged every once in a great while on things. Like getting us a pool (above ground, nothing fancy) that lasted for over 10 years! But our Christmas's were always very modest, I never remember getting the amounts of stuff that my ILs always give us even now. Recently, my mom and I were talking about her getting started crocheting again like she did when we were little. We have lots of beautiful dolls that she made us that my sister and I both treasure (as well as dresses, other toys, etc). She told me that the year that Cabbage Patch kids came out, my sister and I both wanted one very bad. I don't even remember it. But my parents couldn't afford to get us one even if it was our only gift. So my mom decided to attempt to crochet one for each of us. She told me that each night after we went to bed she worked on the dolls for over a month. She said she cried every night because she wanted to get us the real thing, not some dolls she made. Well, obviously we LOVED those dolls! I remember thinking how neat my *Cabbage Patch kid* was compared to my friends *real* doll. I still have it sitting proudly in my home. How sad though to think that my mom cried because she was so wrapped up in getting the *real* thing huh? I know we wouldn't still treasure a *real* doll like we do this one.

That is so sweet. The present I miss the most from childhood is the homemade slippers my grandma would make us every year. We didn't get much, and I actually do remember some of our store gifts (like my little blue radio), but the thing I remember best is grandma's slippers.

We're not personally buying much - Garfield books and DVDs for D, board games for all, a Jango Fett toy and a little lego set for Patch, and I'll make dolly diapers and fix a hand-me-down wooden cart from Tracey's kids for Rowan. Plus a couple of outdoor toys - a disc swing and one of those balls with the handle.

jettrue · 12-03-2005, 10:03 PM

STUFF STUFF STUFF. That's what it's all about right? LOL

I too am trying to be very selective with this years gifts. The kids have so many toys with lots of pieces that just don't get used. In that regard, I think a lot of the issue has to do with organization. I'd like to get a nice toy organizer (yeah, more stuff to organize the stuff, LOL) to put in their room (currently most toys are kept in the basement). I'd like to have a storage system where the kids can put stuff back in a specific storage container, so it's always there when they want to play with it. The problem is they get so many toys that have multiple pieces, they pieces get lost, then the toy is unusable.

I grew up with a mother that operated by the standard that if something wasn't used in 2 months, then it was GONE. The polar opposite of a pack rat. I'm not quite that bad, but too much "stuff" makes me feel smothered. I like moving just because it makes me clean out our junk.

Anyway, I do agree with you. I would like this year to remain a simple year, but I always end up getting caught up in the buying frenzy. Family is buying for all of us, so I feel I have to buy for them... I am really having a hard time with the Christmas season, because it's just only about material things for our extended family, I hate to say it. And I have money spending issues!

wethreepeeps · 12-03-2005, 10:07 PM

The story about the Cabbage Patch doll made me realize something; the only toy I still have from my childhood is a doll crib that I got for christmas when I was six. It is very simple and I always wondered if my dad had made it. Turned out my parents bought it at a yard sale.

dreamseeds · 12-03-2005, 10:14 PM

I have not had a hard time at all getting all the kids gifts this year.

I did get them all a few treats...the girls journals and notecards, Gift card to pick out their own clothing, then a synthesizer dd wanted adn we are working on getting my teen son a drum set.
For the litle ones, Sigg bottles, homeade underwear, books and a few clothes....
Dh gets a beatle cd he has wanted and a handmade mug by Jon.

My family got handmade soap, crafts, etc... and some flower holders made by freespritmom.

And we are striving to take everyone out to Branson to see the lights and Christmas shows-My stepkids will be in town then and possibly my odler kids, but not confirmed.

I must say I feel absolutely wonderful for giving everything I am giving because they will enjoy them and they meet a need they have.
I ahve been working ont heir holdiay gifts for about 6 months now...Still attempting the drum set and then I am done

kas · 12-03-2005, 10:42 PM

i love shopping (spending $) way too much to have a simple xmas

i picked tan up the other day early from school, as a matter of fact...for an "appt"...an "appt at the MALL

had to get dh's xmas gifts & look to see if there was anything i liked. i got him some cologne from nordstrom's, and a pair of levis & a nice pair of born's from dillard's.

he'll prolly get me jewelry now that i'm wearing sterling and there's more variety for him to choose from.

the kids...well, you prolly don't wanna know what all the kids are getting~let's just say, if i handed my older kids a pair of gloves or pjs for xmas gifts, they'd ransack the house iso their "real" gifts. sigh. i have greedy arse kids. -but i want them to like "stuff", so they'll work hard to get their own nice "stuff".

choleblack · 12-04-2005, 02:44 AM

I guess this is one time of year where being cheap and having a cheap family pays off, LOL.

Seriously, I'm just not into "stuff". SO was giving me the affluenza quiz today & laughing because I *SO* don't have money & greed issues. I actually have a deep hatred for money & what it creates. Having things doesn't make me feel better & I know it doesn't matter to my DD, so I don't bother. Heck, this is only the 2nd year that I'm giving her a present at all & she's 5! She's getting "exciting" gifts like clothes that she needs (thans to a growth spurt over the summer) and 1 toy.

We have a small family as well, so DD will only get gifts from her father & I and my mother. She might also get a bit of money from her great-grandparents etc but that goes straight into an education fund that we use to pay for classes & homeschool books. It's easy to keep things simple when there are less people involved too I think.

This is also the perfect time to purge. We gave all our old childrens books to a local organization that is giving them to families for the holiday. We emptied all our stuffed animals at the Marine Corps Toy Drive. We had a mitten tree at our local library & next year I'm hoping to knit well enough to help keep it stocked. I also just got a food donation bag from the boy scouts & salvation army & will be emptying everything out of my pantry that I haven't used in the past few months into that.

I encourage anyone who wants to help a family out during this time of year to DO IT LOCALLY! maybe it's just me but the feeling that I get knowing that my neighbors have gifts under their tree for their kids or food to feed them is bigger than the feeling I would get helping a stranger in another country. Churches, food pantries, the salvation army, militay organizations, VFW's, Moose lodges, Elks Clubs and almost every city in some way or another has programs for helping, use them!

Chole

Seraph · 12-04-2005, 05:23 AM

I give homemade things, often wrapped in cloth bags that I make. My family has started to recycle them so we use less wrapping paper. My goal is to be paper-free within our extended family by next year. I also give Gifts of Service from seva.org. I try to pick things that go well with family members - my mom and my auntie both work with newborns so they "get" the donation for midwives, my college-aged cousin "gets" the donation for women's education in Guatemala, etc. I really like supporting Seva and not buying stuff people don't want.
My mom does go totally overboard for my dd, but we compensate by getting one really nice gift and that's about it. This year she's getting a wooden kitchen from Santa.

~MamaCharly~ · 12-04-2005, 07:50 AM

ok, so I have a question for all you wonderful mamas. Do any of you have dh's who are/were very materialistic and how did you hadle it? My dh is all about how many presents are under the tree and it drives me up a wall. Not only is it a waste of $ but he's not the one who will be cleaning it up either. I have mountains and boxes of toys in the basement that aren't played with already and no one will let me get rid of them. It's really causing a source of stress for me. You all seem so happy and calm, I'm like...aaaaahhhhh NO MORE TOYS!! and he won't tell people what the kids need because he wants them to get toys. They could use some nice new sheets for their beds but no, they don't want to open sheets.

When I know perfectly well the kids would like that.
Well my vent is over, I would really like some advice on how to convert dh

Also I just want to say that you guys are awesome for being that way about Christmas/Holiday season!