Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 13,303
We try hard to keep things minimalist each year. The focus is on handmade gifts. I usually give one handmade gift to each person on Solstice so it doesn't get lost in the gifts from the grandparents and all the hecticness of Christmas Day. (We celebrate both Solstice as a religious holiday and a "secular," cultural Christmas.)
I am not having that hard a time this year, LOL - at first I was, I could just think of *nothing* they wanted/needed, but then I thought of a few things and even went a bit overboard in terms of cost, but got nice, heirloom things, or things they really need, like warm jammies and bathrobes that I am sewing, and I splurged on good wool for warm sweaters that I am knitting.
We got rid of so many toys when we moved here - literally about 70% of the toys were decluttered/given away - that adding back a few seems okay.
I agree, Stacy, it's hard to see people feel inadequate because they can't buy heaps of junky, commercial toys for their kids...it's not what it should be about, at all. We definitely focus on caring and being generous. For us, this means crafting/making gifts for the kids' teachers, aides, and everyone at school; baking and sharing; crafting and giving personal, meaningful, noncluttering gifts to extended family (we did a photo book of the kids' year with captions, digitally made up and then printed and bound, for example).
Eek, time to run...the dishes and kiddos are calling.
__________________ Be realistic: Plan for a miracle. ~Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
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Well, for us Christmas is a religious holiday and we focus on that aspect of the season.
Don't get me wrong, we enjoy the gift part of the holiday, too - it just isn't what's most important. This year the children each picked out one thing they really wanted and that's what they are getting, along with a few surprises - mostly things I've made.
Our church and our community have a variety of ways to help others - we have a mitten/hat tree, we fill stockings for needy teens-things like that. We also like to find out what our local animal shelters need and give to them.
There's no reason to buy into all the commercialism of this time of year if you don't like it. Just do what feels right for your family.
heifer.org - they have a catalog where you can purchase a llama, goat, chickens etc for needy people. I guess if you are vegeterian that may not be the best for you but reading the testimonials of how these animals can bring people out of poverty is compelling.
Now childreach is the organization featured in the film About Schmidt. Here is a blurb about it:
During this week's Academy Award ceremony, Jack Nicholson and Kathy Bates may win honors for their work in About Schmidt. But the character that has left the deepest impression with moviegoers is known only by his first name: Ndugu.
Although he appears in the film only through still photos, the Tanzanian boy plays a big part in the film's plot. Nicholson's character, Warren Schmidt, is a retiree searching for meaning and purpose as he looks back at his life. His choice to sponsor Ndugu through real-life child sponsorship group Childreach is what ultimately gives him hope. "We're all pretty small in the grand scheme of things," Schmidt says at the end of the film. "The most we can hope for is to make a difference."
From early in the critically acclaimed film, when Schmidt sees a commercial to help Third World children, to the end, when Schmidt hears back from his "foster son," child sponsorship plays a major role.
More than two years ago, About Schmidt's producers contacted Childreach to be the child sponsorship organization in the movie. Childreach has 100,000 U.S. sponsors while its parent organization, Plan International, has a total of one million child sponsors throughout the world. Not only are the company and the commercial shown in the movie real, but Ndugu is as well. Actually named Abdala, the 6-year-old boy is now sponsored by the cast and crew of About Schmidt.
Because it is such a pervasive theme, child sponsorship has received widespread press attention since the movie debuted in February. An article in Australia's The Age earlier this month said that Plan International's sponsorships have quadrupled since the movie debuted. The company expects to raise over $21 million globally because of About Schmidt.
Location: In the Land of Golden Warmth, Surrounded by Majestic Mountains, Inspired by Desert and Ocean, Cocooned in Love
Posts: 3,124
This is the one time of year we buy toys (other than birthday). We started this year by going through their things and selling $350 worth of toys (some was NIP Woodland Fantasies).
They are getting Rokenbok, a K'Nex set, and some Darda track. Plus some "sparkle rocks" (fool's gold) as that is all my 5.5YO is asking for. Stockings will have fruit and a small amount of candy from the HFS, plus spool knitters.
We really had to clear out a lot before we would consider buying the Rokenbok. My parents went in on it too, and there was a sale and some specials at the toy store.
We have 8 to buy for, 7 family members and an elderly friend. We try to give homemade or useful/consumable gifts. The family does gift cards to bookstores quite often.
We have 6 children to buy for. One is a toddler and is getting some Jack and Lily shoes (I think; I paid but didn't hear back). The rest will get something practical, like books, clothing, or art supplies. I am waiting to hear back from their parents for ideas.
It is hardest for DH and I. Do we stay really frugal, or do we spoil each other a bit? I was all for staying frugal, and then found something I wanted for him in the $2-300 range. Coming up with something for me was really hard.
We do "adopt" 2 homeless children over the season, but the gift limit must be strictly adhered to.
my boys just turned 4 and 6 last week (and my oldest will be 15 five weeks after x-mas) so with birthday and x-mas gifts it could be a bit much. we definetly clear out and give away this time of year-- but honestly we keep it pretty lean all year round.
but in all honestly the younger boys don't want a thing for their birthday. we are having a family party tomorrow and some of our friends ask what they would like. and i know they don't quite believe me when they i say 'nothing'. i told one friend they would love some new jeans-- they love jeans and only have 2 old pairs each.
they wrote letters to santa and the snowman (yep snowman too ) and all my 6yo asked for was a scarf, a ball of yarn, and a hat. my 4yo ask for a hat, a boat, and a real jet ski for papi .....
i feel very strongly that the fact that they don't watch TV plays a big role in them not coveting cr*p.
We're encouraging relatives to get less for our kids too. We couch it as not having enough space (which is true), but really I just don't like having an overwhelming amount of stuff.
How about something like art lessons or horseback riding lessons? I'm asking for a museum membership from my ILs.
Also, I encourage and give home made gifts. I make PJ pants for lots of family members. It's becoming a tradition and one I feel good about. I'm told my 10yo nephew is hoping for a pair! That means a lot to me.
I am also encouraging 'recycle' giving. Rather than people buying things for my little kids, who don't know the difference anyway, I'm telling people to re-gift to them. My sis was getting rid of her DDs doll moses basket and I said DON'T! Give it to Leah for Christmas! Who cares if it isn't new, it would be perfect for you, kwim?
__________________ ~Heather
Mama to my two sweet boys Carter (10!) and Owen (3),
and my sweet girl Leah Charlotte, born 12/10/03
I am having a hard time buying more stuff.. I walk around the store and look at all the neat things, then i think that next year those will be the things that i bag up for good will and it makes me not buy anything... I hate having too much stuff and have been trying really hard to declutter... I know they will get enough stuff from relatives anyway... They are all getting new britax carseats this year, 2 have came and waiting for the other 2.. but when i tell people that i think that may be it, they think i am mean.. and that carseats shouldn't be a present... The kids are all really excited for the carseats.. My 3 year old had to wait while hers was shipped back and a new one came.. she asked where the broken one was everyday till the UPS guy came to get it... Shes so happy with her new one... The others ask when a week is up.. too bad the company added another week to the wait..
I totally believe in recycling gifts, and I agree that TV plays a huge part in our problems. DS, 4, and DD, 2, yell, "I want that!" at virtually every commercial. Fortunately, I guess, because they do it for EVERY COMMERCIAL, I in no way feel there is something out there that either of them needs to have, whereas, if they only said, "I want that" at a particular ad, I might feel that pressure a bit more, YK?
With that said, I don't think anyone is getting anything advertised on TV. And I don't think they'll feel like they're missing out, either!
__________________ Jody
Mama to two boys (5-10-98 and 6-01-01), and two girls (11-18-03 and 1-11-07)
Well we usually keep the gifts down or try to. This year we are giving lots of gift cards, that I have earned through mypoints. I chose barnes & noble so people could pick up books which I think are really underated gifts. I am also making gift baskets with coffee and some type of treat in it for the adults.
For our boys we are getting them all bikes. That is there one big present from us. If we have the money we are going to get them bean bags. For their stockings they will get some candy and they will get new toothbrushes from us.
Since we are in our new place and only get pbs, that has helped the wants alot around here. I took the boys to Target with me and I told them to really look through the toys and decide what 2 things they really wanted for Christmas. I used these ideas for my parents to get them gifts. G wants a playmobile pirate treasure chest. E wants a t rex mountain. J is getting the little people castle. Tim's parents are getting the boys a gift all together, a basketball goal and then the boys will each get a small dino which goes with their set.
I usually try to make them a present but I don't think I am going to be able to this year (time and money) so we will see. Also we like to buy dvds and books. So we may still get them each a book but we will see.
We also just cleaned out a bunch of toys, some I have listed here and I have more to list, some we donated to the church and some we are giving to a local batteried women's shelter.
When the boys asked what we were doing with the toys I explained that we had alot of toys and some children didn't have any so we were going to give them to them. That if we wanted to get new toys for birthdays and Christmas then we would have to make room for them. They were ok with that.
__________________
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Robin wife to one awesome guy for 18 years,
mama to four beautiful boys
We sponsor a child through savethechildren.org and you can write letters and send stuff
__________________ Back of every creation, supporting it like an arch, is faith. Enthusiasm is nothing: it comes and goes. But if one believes, then miracles occur. ~Henry Miller
great thread. Just wanted to add though, that the consumer thing is not just an American thing. Yes, the USA does lead the way, but trust me when I tell you that other countries are following suit with a penchant. Here in England it is crazy just like back home.
On that note... we got rid of *everything* except for the very few things that we really felt attachment to before we moved. It was quite the eye opening experience to say the least. And we don't really miss any of the things we got rid of. We miss people, we miss places, we hold tight to our memories and understand more than ever that what is truly important is not the objects. Its the love and friendship that means the most to us. This year we found out just a couple weeks ago that mom has a large tumor and will have surgery and begin chemo next week. Her prognosis is good and it will be the best christmas present ever to just be able to hear her voice.
Which makes me think - what is it about the holiday that means the most to us? It isn't the stuff, it is the people and the love. It is traditions and marking of passage of time,and the celebration of the time that we have already been given. This year we will be creating new traditions in our new home, marking major passages, and being thankful beyond words for all that we have.
Meeshi, we institute a policy--for every toy that comes in, we donate or give away another. Our toys are all nice (because we also try to keep down clutter). Sometimes I will give away some and just box up others, for times when we need a quick pick-me-up kind of day. (maybe everyone else has said this, I haven't read replies yet. )
ETA, we don't buy the boys gifts at all, they just get gifts from relatives.
Great post, Meeshi! This year I'm making everything for the kiddos (with the exception of some books and a few wahm items). I'm also making everything for other family members, and a couple of dh's gifts.
I've only just started on all of these gifts, so I do have a lot of work ahead of me. I'm just taking time throughout the day to work a bit more. It makes it fun for me and the kids.
Also...we're avoiding stores as much as possible. I did get some basic toy catalogs like Magic Cabin and Back to Basic Toys. The kids have fun looking through them to get ideas.
We have always had a "1 thing in- 1 thing out" rule. I count the presents we get, and Abel and I choose that many things from our old stuff to give to charity. We often also re-gift things that we get that we don't really care for- we have a special box in the basement for just that purpose.
I alos BEG our family members to give us consumables for the holidays. Movie passes, grocery gift cards, restaurant gift certificates. That way, we don't accumulate stuff, and we get to treat ourselves to special things throughout the year.
I buy practically nothing for other people. My family will get homemade jam and bread, knit hats from my yarn stash, and maybe a CD or 2. Abel is getting one science kit from me, leftover from some clearance sale at the end of last year.
I just refuse to complicate our lives with things.
__________________
Laura, mama to Abel, age 9!
~my 2 favorite boys~
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
Location: In the country, well its the country to me, lol
Posts: 5,233
I may be flamed. But my kids are having a HUGE Christmas this year, thanks to my mom. They will probably get about 2x as they would normally get. My kids lost everything in the hurricane and I think they deserve to be "spoiled" a bit.
But all that being said I do think Christmas is out of control, I have a friend who spends at least $1,000 per kid(she has 3) on what seems like nothing but junk
All family gifts we will give will be handmade, and probably pictures. My kids enjoy making things for others.
__________________ Kelley~
Maryssa~3/27/97~
Owen~9/5/00~
and Piper Jane born 4/6/05
Jody
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