What else is going to go wrong. My head started spinning 2 weeks before Christmas and it hasn't stopped!
I made a bunch of candleholders (some for orders and some for extras to have in stock) and didn't realize that I used discolored wire until I was outside taking pics of them. The wire is black in some places and grey in others. Inside, under the dinning room light, the wire looked normal. I wanted to sit in the grass and cry when I saw the finished pieces outside. All that time wasted plus having to email and pm moms to let them know that their orders would be further delayed because I'm a dumbass who didn't notice that my wire was wonky.
THEN i try to speed up the production of my wee furniture pieces for orders so I didn't let the wood dry out as long as I normally do. I try to use fallen limbs when possible but sometimes I can't find the right size so I have to cut a green limb. I've been keeping the green limbs by the wood stove for quicker drying but it's been uncommonly warm here this time of year so we've gone days without building a fire. I didn't take this into account when I crafted a bunch of mini furniture pieces for orders. All but one piece cracked.
I had to go out last weekend and search for dry limbs (no time to dry myself) that were the proper size and type of wood (sometimes feels like looking for a needle in a haystack).
My migraines are back. I called the doctor for a prescription since I'm out of darvocet and that often doesn't do the job anyway. He called in Tylenol 3 which works okay if I take it soon enough but it makes me loopy. If I take it then I'm tired and can't even force myself to craft. I don't want to do anything productive. If I don't take it soon enough then the migraine sends me to bed and I have to take a Vicodin. I can't take Vicodin and function like a human. It requires that someone else be here to help take care of the boys. . I have a history of migraines which are often brought on my lack of sleep and added stress. At this rate the migraines should disappear sometime this summer.
Then toss in all the added stress because I'm SO late getting a few orders and holiday trades shipped. I have a total of 5 packages that should have gone out before Christmas. Two of my candleholder orders (actually trades) have been waiting for weeks. I didn't have the right beads and my supplier was out of stock on the colors I needed and didn't restock until the week before Christmas. I get the beads in, complete the sconces and THEN see that I used ugly wire
A member here shared my gallery link with a friend months ago who emailed me with an order 2 weeks before Christmas. She had been saving up for some of my creations. I first told her I could probably ship in time to get the package there before Christmas. (she had told me up front that shipping before Christmas was not necessary). Then I had to tell her that I couldn't ship until the week after Christmas since I had taken on too much. I didn't ship on Friday as I had planned because the candleholders and furniture were screwed up and I ... well.. I just lost it. I shut down. I all but told myself I would never craft again and was ready to build a bonfire with all my supplies and dance around it like a freakin' idiot in the front yard (like the neighbors need more proof that I'm nuts)
Gage broke his clavicle shortly before Christmas. My computer crashed and we had to have a tech come out to fix it because I just wasn't mentally and emotionally capable of handling another phone conversation with a Dell tech. I don't mind my call being routed to every 3rd world country on the planet but at least let me talk to someone who can speak english well enough that the majority of my statements don't have to be. "I didn't understand you.", "Can you repeat that again.", and, "I'm sorry but I
still can't understand you."
So I sat down tonight and emailed/pm'd all of the moms that are expecting packages from me and feel about 12 inches shorter than before I started. I *HATE* this part of being a wahm. I hate it when I fall so terribly short of my own expectations. I know there are times when I expect too much from myself but D@MN! This is basically just a repeat of last December. I took on WAY too much because, afterall, I *AM* superwoman
And let's not forget all the wonderful crafts I had planned for my own special little guys for Christmas and, because I took on too many orders and trades, didn't get to make them one single thing. Nothing. I said I would take a full week after Christmas to just craft for them. I haven't been able to do that yet and frankly I'm not in the mood.
My website! I hired a neighbor (software and web designer) to build it for me but he's having major problems with his exwife (child custody issues) and hasn't had time. His assistant is doing legal work for him so she can't work on it either. They keep having to put me off. I have told a ton of people that I will be open by the first of February but now I know that it's not possible.
And when Rex and I were over in the field searching for dry limbs he showed me another location that he thinks would be a great spot for our log home. It was such a beautiful spot... huge white oak trees, overlooking rolling hills and one of the ponds. I want to be over there so badly and we just keep talking and talking about it but never seem to get any closer. Rex is disappointed with me because he's waiting on me to design the houseplan and I just don't have time! He can't start on the foundation until the houseplan is finished. Those here who know how neurotic I get over little crafting projects will understand the overwhelming sensation that overcomes me when I start looking at floorplans. It's SO daunting.
And I can't stop thinking about the fact that I can't have anymore kids. What the **** is up with that!!!!??? I have 5 kids! Why am I now feeling sadness over not being able to have more? I'm the one that first wanted Rex to have the vasectomy. It's been 2 years and I've been fine with it. Now suddenly I'm resentful because he can't get me pregnant? That's it, isnt' it? I've finally fallen off the deep end.
I really could go on. Can you believe that? But I"m going to close because it's after 1 and the tylenol 3 is making my eyes cross. I had planned to craft a bit before bed but that's not going to happen. You deserve a reward if you made it this far. I know this is too **** long and it doesn't belong in this forum but I am SO hoping that someone here can relate to how I'm feeling so that I don't feel like such a loser. It's probably not the wisest post I've ever left here. I'm sure people will be flocking to order from me after reading all of this .. okay finally I type something that makes me laugh. blah!
I know everything is going to be fine. I'll remake all the candleholders and the furniture and get everything shipped. I'll be able to breath after that and things will start making sense again. ... right? 
to Chris 
and Ethan 
You're always so sweet and supportive of everyone here. I know you said you overcommitted but I think it's also an issue of over demand! I know when you posted those candle holders a while back I *DROOLED* even showed my mother to try to get her to buy me one! LOL You just have too many people that want your stuff. 
oh no... I thought your tax return was mine? 
just kidding 
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