amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Deborah · 08-30-2005, 04:58 AM

Hi all,
New here but thought this would be a greet place to share as I wind down my nursing "career". I am mom to three. I nursed Matthew until he was past three years old, tandem nursing him until the middle of a second pregnancy. I had the most guilt about weaning him as he really needed to nurse a lot as a baby.
He would ask to nurse well past his fourth and fifth birthdays. I finally realized we needed some closure so we did a "nursing ceremony" where we acknowledged the ending of his nursing -- we did some simple songs and verses and symbolically jumped over a fire and a log -- first together and then him by himself. I couldn't believe how emotional I was -- and it was two years after weaning!
My daughter I nursed until she was past 4 years old. I finally got so resentful of her nursing -- I just wanted to be able to cuddle with her and not nurse. I actually muscle tested to see when she would wean -- using accupressure I had to clear her of "allergies" to nursing before she could wean. I gave her a ring of mine to acknowledge the transition. I didnt' feel nearly as sad. I think cause she's my daughter and I know I will always be close to her where as my son and my relationship will naturally change over time.

I am now down to my last child who still wakes to nurse at night. She is 3 1/2 and I am ready for the night nursing to end. I night weaned her a few months ago but then circumstances changed and she started nursing again. I think she does better when she doesn't nurse -- she gets a better nights sleep.
I am up cause I just put her back to bed without nursing -- she went back to sleep with minimal grumbling but now I'm up!

I'm a little scared and sad of ending nursing. Emotionally, it feels like I am losing my connection to my children even though intellectually I that is not so ...

huntersmama · 09-10-2005, 09:05 PM

I neight weaned my dd when she was 3 1/2, I was around 7 mths pregnant adn really sick and worked nights so when i could get some sleep it was terrible when she woudl wake me to nurse.

I got a really bad cold, adn night nursing was just not lettign me get any sleep so as i put her to bed one night i just asked her if it would be okay if we didn't nurse during the night for that oen night becuse i felt so yucky and tired and just needed to sleep. She totally understood, adn inthe last 2 1/2 yrs the only time she has nursed at night was if she was sick

it was wonderful to actually get soem sleep and i felt that if she had really needed to night nurse then the next night she woudl haev been righ tback to doign it, but she didnt;

mayeb the fact that you child is around the same age as she was will work to yoru advantage? Have you tried expalign that mama just really needs to get soem sleep so you will feel better and be able to haev more energy to spend with teh kids?

My dd is a diehard nurser and i dont; see any end in sight to her nursing, at least not soon. bUt she never nurses at night anymore, unless she is sick as i mentioned before and it has been a great blessing to me.
Luckily my son never nurses befor 5am and tis never for very long so it doesnt interfer with my sleep, but I rememeber marathon nuring sessions with my dd that just about put me over the edge...

I hoep this helps a bit

I just wanted to add, I can totally understand yoru feelings, I have often thougth about what it will feel liek to not nurse my children. i am not sure how to relate to them in a way that doesn;t include nursing

I know we will still have wonderful connected relationships, but its difficult to relaly understnd it when nurisng is so much a part of how we relate to one another rignt now