Breastfeeding your toddlerSTILL GOT MILK? Are you the one people ask 'are you STILL breastfeeding??' are mee nums still a daily (or even weekly) event? this place holds lots of nips (i mean tips) for you.
I can't imagine the horror for a child--who is picked up and anticipates the loving embrace and sweet milk from his mama, and BLECH--he's tasting a vile bitter taste? That's just cruel!
I have to say, I totally agree! My sister was weaned this way when she was about 3.5 and remembers it well. She still feels upset and confused. She made me promise that I wouldn't do that to Emma!
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Nancy
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He was 95% weaned when Zella was born. It's the day I came home from the hospital that this started. I had tried the nurse happily on demand thing for about 4 days, but I was nutso. I don't know if I can survive 2 weeks, lol. I'm so torn. On one hand I think you are right that he needs me and needs to be the baby. On the other hand, he's matured and grown and understands SO MUCH that I don't understand how he could not understand that Zellie needs the milkie. He's excluding solid food and holding out for milkie. He's having breastfed poops. That can't be sustaining him, and he wasn't a big child to begin with. I'm afraid his health will suffer. Zella nurses so frequently that I cannot imagine just letting him nurse whenever, but I don't want to break his heart either. I've also tried to limit it to nap time, bed time, etc..., but it didn't work either. He just spends the rest of the day begging, whining, pitching a fit. Sigh. What to do, what to do. Also, I have Winnie to consider as well. I spend so much time either nursing Zella, nursing or fighting Finn, I can't imagine how neglected she feels. There just isn't enough of me to go around. Not to mention poor dh , lol. He's neglected too, lol. I guess I need to think on all of this. Too many things to consider.
have you read adventures in tandem nursing? It really helped me. I went through the same thing with Conor and when I finally let him nurse on demand for about a week, everything got better, it was like magic.
A friend of mine told her older child that the milk was needed for the baby. I know that some mamas have had that backfire (and the older child resents the baby), but in this case it worked. The older child loved being a nice older sibling and saying, "I can eat regular food, but you can't, you need mommy milk." Maybe you can tell your ds that there only enough milk for one child?
{{{{Hugs}}}} What worked for us was to cut back. I did this by offering other things. Dd nursed until she was 3 yrs. 1 mo. and we tandemed w/ds for 5 mo's. I would nurse ds first and tell her I would nurse her when I was done nursing him. I explained to her about him needing it for food and she can eat food,so that is why he needed to nurse first. Usually she got bored of waiting and would find something else to do. I understand what you mean about the "habit" For dd she cut back to only in the morning when she woke up and she was grouchy like it was her coffee! Instead I would offer to put in Finding Nemo and gave her a Carnation Instant Breakfast in the can with a straw. I know,not the best,but it worked. At night in bed I would nurse ds while I held her hand. We loved that and still hald hands in bed to this day. Other times I would offer her a treat that she really liked or to cuddle if she was in the mood. Unfortunatley,this is where she got her sweet tooth in. So now I am still dealing with that. Best wishes!
Flame me if you want, but I just gotta say, this suggestion makes me ILL.
I can't imagine the horror for a child--who is picked up and anticipates the loving embrace and sweet milk from his mama, and BLECH--he's tasting a vile bitter taste? That's just cruel! The one time I tried this product with my chewing Mastiff, I was horrified to watch how she slobbered and pawed at her mouth. I threw it out after that. I can't imagine using it for a child.
I can't imagine a more terrible way to wean a child. Come on, breastfeeding is an act of love. What you're describing doing is nothing short of barbaric.
Edited to add: How do you ensure that the 3-month old doesn't accidentally get a mouth full of bitter apple?
I only sugested this because she said she tried vinigar and it did not work and if she wanted to try a diffrent product...the following might work better for her....not saying I have done or would do it my self
maybe GSE or apple cidar vinagar would be less tramatic.... just throwing sugestions
If I recall when my dd and ds were tandem nursing, I just started to do things with dd when ds was nursing in a sling. Such as, playing cards games, or drawing, etc. That way her mind was occupied with other things while I was nursing. This helped a lot, I remember the despair of not moving from the couch for the first 2 months! DD weaned when DS was 4 mos old.
i'm so glad to b reading this post cause i'm currently reading how weaning happens...and i've seen the screaming 4 the boob. makes me nervous.
thanx mammas,
beth
i'm suggesting that nursing is not the problem-it is a symptom. baby is 3mo, right? in my reading i learned that older sibs who are still young themselves GET that baby is not going away after about 3months...for some reason they understand THEN that baby is not leaving.
it's devastating. mind-blowing. traumatic...(for some children).
but it can be surpassed...but the thing to realize is that regression is how a child exhibits strong emotion. he wants to be the baby. the baby nurses all the time, so since he wants to be the baby he must also nurse all the time...then he WILL be your baby again (in his mind).
i would suggest that perhaps finding a way to validate his need to still be a baby. set limits, non-negotiable limits, on his nursing. 3 times a day or whatever you are ok with...but do not haggle or give in. it will get worse before it gets better, but if you DO NOT GIVE IN it will get better. extinction behavior is when things get worse before better in behavioral modification. allow him to nurse when you have told him he can...at other times only when he is injured. sounds harsh but after a short time you won't have to be so strict. during that time expect him to be more needy and cranky, but it will get better in just a few days, distract him with crafts and 'together' activities...paint the sidewalk or driveway with water, sidewalk chalk, cutting up magazines and using glue sticks to glue them on construction paper, bubbles, whatever...
i hope that helps some. i read the above posts and just 'got' that not only is he not ready to wean-that this issue is not about nursing (for him), the nursing is a symptom of a greater issue within him...and if ya'll are aware of that you can help him transition. the party idea works well if the child is nearly ready but imagine your feeling if your mama and dad gave you a big boy party and tell you you are not allowed to nurse, when you really want more than anything in the world to be a baby just a little while longer? and you are confused about your place in the family? how would you feel? that's what i'm talking about-and what i strongly feel he is going through from your post.
Gwen, I think it IS important how YOU feel, too. Its OK for you to want to stop. Its OK for you to want to wean. Sometimes I feel like we are so caught up in not wanting to traumitize our kids that we end up bitter or resentful because we are doing things we DONT want to do. Your feelings about this are important too, and you need to look after yourself also. I found when I kept nursing dd#2 after 2 years and was due with #3, it was making me feel almost violated, because i DIDNT want to do it, but at LLL i was basicaly told I would scar my child for life if I weaned her. My point Im trying to make is, honor yourself also in this decision, and everything will work out ok.
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You might enjoy reading Adventures In Tandem Nursing. If nothing else, you won't feel alone afterwards. Limits stressed Patrick out. I gave up fighting it. He weaned a month shy of his 4th birthday, and cut back gradually on his own after 18 months of tandem nursing. He gained weight when my milk came in, and Rowan's never been a small girl. No children suffered for lack of calories. I was pretty frickin tired for a while, though.
, lol. He's neglected too, lol. I guess I need to think on all of this. Too many things to consider.
Instead I would offer to put in Finding Nemo and gave her a Carnation Instant Breakfast in the can with a straw. I know,not the best,but it worked. At night in bed I would nurse ds while I held her hand. We loved that and still hald hands in bed to this day. 
Other times I would offer her a treat that she really liked or to cuddle if she was in the mood. Unfortunatley,this is where she got her sweet tooth in. So now I am still dealing with that. 
Best wishes!
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