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I don't know if I am being oversensitive, which is quite possible since I have had some negatives experiences and have read/heard about negative experiences regarding breastfeeding in public.
We visited a new church today. I really like this church a lot. My baby got fussy, so I took him to the "cry room," which I notice a lot of newer church buildings seem to have. My intent was to nurse him to sleep. He was fussy and tired. Since there were some toys on the floor with which Jadon seemed eager to play, I set him down and decided I would let him play with the toys. We were the only ones in the room -- a small room that held about 6 chairs and had some floor space. The room has a glass wall so you can still see the service and an intercom so you can hear. I noticed a sign in the room that said: This room is for parents with fussy babies. Please DO NOT nurse in this room. We have a special room for nursing set up near the nursery which has the service on closed circuit TV. I can't remember the exact wording of it all, but that was the general idea - with the "do not" emphasized in italics.
The wording bothered me. I think if it had said something like this room is not intended as a nursing mothers room -- and we have a room elsewhere for nursing -- I would have been more comfortable with that. I really dislike how forbidden it makes nursing seem and sound.
I don't really understand why they have this sign. Perhaps the room is too small and they want to restict the use of the room so that it is not overcrowded. Or perhaps they feel nursing and comforting a crying baby are two different things that conflict -- maybe the nursing babies will interfere with the fussing babies. Finally, I wonder if it has to do with the idea that perhaps fathers will be in the room too and it might make them feel uncomfortable. ???
It is nice they have an area specifically for nursing, but it also makes me feel like they don't welcome nursing elsewhere. It was certainly obvious they didn't want anyone nursing in the "cry" room. Then I wonder if your baby is crying and might be comforted by nursing - are you supposed to use the cry room or the nursing area.
Like I said, I really like this church but am wondering if this is a sign of things to come.
Also, do others nurse in church? How do you feel about nursing in church. Would you be offended if someone nursed in church? It all feels so strange to me that God created us and yet somehow I feel like some people think it is something that *must* be done in private.
As for my feelings, I do prefer to nurse in a comfortable, private setting. I relax better. My baby is not so distracted. However, I hate to feel like I can't nurse somewhere. I feel as if nursing is de-valued and/or if they needs of others (adults? men?) are somehow put higher than the needs of a hungry baby or a mama that just wants to feed her baby without being assigned to a special area as if I need to be quarantined.
I would like to know how others feel -- maybe explaining a different viewpoint will help me see things that I can't see because of deep emotions that I have due to negative experiences. Or maybe others would feel the same way and I should gently try to address the situation to help future mamas.
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~Rondi~
Wife to Rich. Mama to 8 year old Elisha (aka Mr. Memory); 6 year old Chloe (aka a real life Diva) and 4 year old Jadon Jack (aka Mr Messy)
I think it's awful. In fact even if there is a "nursing room" I nurse IN church. It's way more disruptive to haul all my kids out to another room. (dh often is NOT sitting with us as he'll be in the back the the media guys).
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Cheryl single mama to
Melissa (8), Michael (7), Madeleine (6)
twins Megan & Maribeth (4)
I always nursed in the nursery because we have big leather recliners and it's a good opportunity to gab with other moms. That cry room sounds really cool though, too bad they ruined it with the no nursing sign. You wouldn't happen to be in Camarillo would you? We went to a church there for awhile (in '97-'98) that had the exact same set-up and the exact same sign. Eery. But yeah I'd be ticked. It would tell me a lot about the attitudes toward natural mothering. The church we went to like that was heavily infested with Ezzo followers.
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~*~Tiffany~*~
"Receive the children with reverence.
Educate them in love.
Send them forth in freedom."
~Rudolf Steiner
Wow that's messed up! I would be beyond pissed and nurse in there anyway and tell anyone who said anything to F off, but that is just me. I guess the F off part wouldn't be too appropriate in a church, but man, how offensive it is that you can't nurse in there. The room is specifically for babies/kids who need to chill out, right? What if you had more than one kid? You would need to stay in there and supervise the older one anyway.
wow, I would be annoyed! I do nurse in church...it's soooo much easier! I nurse in the sling while walking around at church, too. I would be pretty annoyed if I HAD to go to the nursery to nurse (where some moms choose to nurse at the church). I think you should call the church and find out why...it will tell you a little bit more if you find out their exact reason (though I really can't think of a good one!)
With Erik, I did take him down to the nursery to nurse him, but now that I have Erik to take care of, that becomes much harder, especially on the Sundays that DH is preaching, or in some other way involved in the service, and not sitting with us.
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Heather
Mama to E, 6 2/3 and A, 4 1/2
Originally posted by heythereheather wow, I would be annoyed! I do nurse in church...it's soooo much easier! I nurse in the sling while walking around at church, too. I would be pretty annoyed if I HAD to go to the nursery to nurse (where some moms choose to nurse at the church). I think you should call the church and find out why...it will tell you a little bit more if you find out their exact reason (though I really can't think of a good one!)
With Erik, I did take him down to the nursery to nurse him, but now that I have Erik to take care of, that becomes much harder, especially on the Sundays that DH is preaching, or in some other way involved in the service, and not sitting with us.
I think the OP is saying that this sign is IN the nursery. You have to go to yet another saparate room to nurse. Isn't a cry room basically the same thing as a nursery?
Originally posted by kimi I think the OP is saying that this sign is IN the nursery. You have to go to yet another saparate room to nurse. Isn't a cry room basically the same thing as a nursery?
Well, it sounds to me like the cry room was a place to take the kids and the parent stays with them. A nursery, in my experience, is where you normally take the kids and drop them off (and at least at my church, you can no longer hear the service).
But, I was just saying that the sign was stupid...and then relating my story. I think she has every right to be annoyed. Not really sure why you're questioning me? Did it sound like I agreed with the church?
I know what you are talking about. The Cry Room is a little room off to the side of the main area where you can see out through a glass wall.
HERE is what a pastor told me 13 years ago the one time I went to Midnight Mass with my first husband.
They don't want you to nurse in the Cry Room because just as you can see out people can see in as well (unless this was a newer kind where it's tinted or one way...I don't know) and the very idea of you nursing somewhere that everyone can see is offensive. They are afraid that you will tempt the men with your exposed breasts and cause impure thoughts during the service.
In other words- they don't want your boobs upsetting the people or distracting the priest. LMAO
NOW before anyone gets upset at me for saying that. It's what the Pastor told me and it WAS 13 years ago so maybe things have changed now and there is a different reason. If the glass was tinted or one way then I honestly don't know what their deal is unless the non-nursing mothers complained at some point because they found nursing moms offensive.
To me, saying they had a room in the back by the nursery is the same as telling you to nurse your baby in the bathroom in a department store. I would have been offended and said as much. LOL Of course, I don't have to worry about this at all since I'm not Christian and don't attend churches.
I say duct tape over the sign next time you visit. We won't tell on you. Either that or take Kas so she can squirt them in the eye! LMAOOOOOOOOOO That killed me!
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I'm Straight But NOT Narrow!
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."
Yeah that's true, a nursery sounds more like where you drop the kids off. Either way, the place is supposed to be a place for the care of children. No, I wasn't thinking you agreed with the church, I thought you were saying "I would be mad if I had to take them into the nursery to nurse" and I was thinking this sign is in the nursery, she can't even nurse in there! She has to go to a third room. LOL!
Well at our old church we had a cry room , seperate from the regular nursery. It was a place where families with babies could sit without having to put the baby in the nursery. Most of the time the whole family sat in there, dad included. Maybe they were trying to be helpful and point out that there was another room suitable for nursing. I'd call and ask the pastor if it was me. If you don't tell him, how could he know that someone was offended by the sign???
Then there is apparently a nursing room by the nursery w/ TV monitor.
Parent has to be w/ baby or child in cry room. Mother w/ baby in the nursing area. Nursery workers in the nursery area.
In order to get to the nursing area/nursery, you have to go to a security check point that is not to different from airport security. No -- it isn't really THAT bad, but they are pretty strict. I told DH I would be in the cry room and then if I did need to go to the nursing room, he wouldn't of known where I was, so I didn't want to go to the nursing room to nurse.
Also, same church hosts MOPS and both this MOPS and another nearby MOPS have a pretty strict policy that says if your baby is over 6 months, you can't keep baby with you at MOPS. Baby must go in the nursery. I don't like that either, but it is seperate group from the church. I just don't get it. God created us -- designed our bodies with the ability to nurse -- but it seems I run into problems with *some* churches/religious groups views on where nursing should be done.
The Cry Room is different from the nursery. It's in the main area (I'm sorry I don't know what it's called....where you sit for service with the pews and stuff) where everyone else is but off to the side is all. You can still watch the pastor through the glass and they have a speaker pipe in what he says so that you can hear him as you are seeing his mouth move but the congregation can't hear you is all. Like I said, the one time I was in a church was 13 years ago and I was told it was a new thing back then. I figured all church's had them nowadays. Shows what I know eh?
I have nursed in church!
I love to see nursing mamas in church!
I would wonder about a church with restrictive policies like that. Often it is a hint of legalism.
Maybe you could talk to the Pastor or other Elder who could explain the policy. Maybe they are actually taking "baby" steps toward more open nursing. It wasn't that long ago that most churches practically condemned nursing at all!!
I've nursed in church before, too. I even made a special nursing dress for Jacob's baptism in case he needed to nurse during the service - and we were right up front that day. As it turned out, I didn't need to nurse him that day or most others because the service time coincided with his normal morning naptime.
I remember at least once nursing during coffee hour after the service while talking to the rector! His wife had a baby a couple of months after Jacob so he had no problems with it at all. I was discrete, as I'm a pretty private person, but nursing clothes make it so easy to nurse anywhere that I was perfectly comfortable nursing at church.
Don't know what to say about that sign?!? We don't have a cry room at our small Episcopal church. Maybe they've had some complaints from people? It seems like that's a sign with a story behind it. I'd ask somebody, especially since you really like the church.
That cry room sounds really cool though, too bad they ruined it with the no nursing sign. You wouldn't happen to be in Camarillo would you? We went to a church there for awhile (in '97-'98) that had the exact same set-up and the exact same sign. Eery. But yeah I'd be ticked. It would tell me a lot about the attitudes toward natural mothering. The church we went to like that was heavily infested with Ezzo followers.
They are afraid that you will tempt the men with your exposed breasts and cause impure thoughts during the service.
Either that or take Kas so she can squirt them in the eye! LMAOOOOOOOOOO That killed me!
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