Megan and Maribeth do WAY better with bottles. Even Maribeth finished a whole bottle today - she's never weighed as getting ANYTHING off breastfeeding - despite my trying for over half an hour with her away and trying (intermittantly though) to nurse. Plus that nurse today fed her that bottle while I was THERE nursing Megan behind a screen - which is why I didn't see her. She didn't bother to let me know before that Maribeth was awake and interested (she was still sleeping when I sat down with Megan). The nurse yesterday had said they wouldn't bottle feed the girls when I was there - but that does seem to depend on who the nurses are. They won't let me try the girls together - but really they don't latch on - so it take both my hands anyway.
Megan went for 12 hours - 4 feedings overnight completely on bottles -test weighed at only getting 5 cc's this afternoon after 40 min actively trying to nurse. The most she's ever got breastfeeding is 15 cc's and that's only been twice. (they weigh them on very sensitve scales before and after to get the amounts).
The nurse said there's no point in talking to the lactation consultant because the lactation consultant at the hospital has no experience with preemies and will just tell me the problem is with the SCN nurses bottle feeding. The nurses at this hospital (they were transferred to an intermediate care nursery closer to where we live last week) - do not cup feed at night and will not tube feed a baby who is awake and trying to suck. Policy is bottles if the baby will take them and I'm not there. It's not as pro=breastfeeding as the hospital they were born at.
The doctor said that the girls mouths are just too tiny and they tire too quickly right now - so just keep trying when I can and I'll have to work on breastfeeding at home. But he said I'll need to breastfeed (each baby for approx 20-40 min separately until they get the ideas), then supplement with bottles, then pump to maintain milk supply, then wash and sterilize the pump and bottles - for 2 babies at least every 3 hours. I'm not sure that even feasible with the other children at home.
I'm still ahead of the girls consumption with pumping - so at least that's going well - they are in no danger of needing formula anytime soon. But I"m still a little discouraged that they are doing so well on bottles and not getting breastfeeding. In fact the nurse today pretty much came out and said if I gave up trying to breastfeeding Megan she could probably come home soon. Because they have to take all feeds by mouth for 48 hours - she did 12 last night with bottles - but then the breastfeeding attempts tire her out and then she has to have the bulk of her feedings by ng tube after trying to breastfeed.
If anyone has any advice or suggestions for breastfeeding preemies, or has BTDT, or just want to offer some support - I would appreciate it. I'm pretty discouraged today.
Plus dh's starting to think they amounts they are taking don't warrent the $10/day parking, gas for driving in, plus occasional cafeteria food for me going in every day if they aren't going to be breastfeeding. (which given our finances - I do understand - but I don't want to stop visiting my babies). Plus then there was the cost of the electric breastpump, bottles, twin and boppy nursing pillows. So I really am going to feel badly if this doesn't work out.
__________________
Cheryl single mama to
Melissa (9), Michael (8), Madeleine (7)
twins Megan & Maribeth (4)
Last edited by Mama2miracles : 02-22-2004 at 09:20 PM.
My best firend was able to overcome the same problem with her preemie twins...but her lactation consultant was helpful.(and she didn't have any other kids) She used nipple shields to help with the transferring from bottle to breast...and eventually did not need nipple shields any more.
Ignore what they said about the lactation consultant-call your local La Leche League Leader and put them to work for you. Tell them your story/challenges and they may be able to send someone to help you. You sound committed so it is worth a try.
Also-I think that there is a new hands free pump-that would help you some.
I commend you for being so dedicated : ) Do the best you can...don't be hard on yourself. And don't give up yet-the breast milk iis so important for them. (I am NOT trying to guilt you....more like pep talk you)
Good luck!
edited to add-I have to say all of the effort/money is worth it...you need to see your babies...they need to see you. Breastfeeding aside.
If you want me to put you in contact with my girlfriend who breastfed preemie twins please ask/pm me : )
And call the local twins/multiples groups...they could hep you with resources, lactation consultants, finding you a ride to the hospital. Also-what about social services?
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" I choose to be a pioneer of the future and release being a prisoner of the past" Deepak Chopra
Last edited by mowglimonster : 02-22-2004 at 09:22 PM.
I've never BTDT, but wanted to offer support and gentle (((hugs))). I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Please take a few deep breaths and hang in there.
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"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who are hungry and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. The world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, is humanity hanging from a cross of iron." - Dwight Eisenhower
Re: Discouraged with trying to breastfeeding preemies
Quote:
Originally posted by CherylE Plus dh's starting to think they amounts they are taking don't warrent the $10/day parking, gas for driving in, plus occasional cafeteria food for me going in every day if they aren't going to be breastfeeding. (which given our finances - I do understand - but I don't want to stop visiting my babies). Plus then there was the cost of the electric breastpump, bottles, twin and boppy nursing pillows. So I really am going to feel badly if this doesn't work out.
I am sorry you are having problems bfing. I just wanted to say though that time spent w/ your babies is not a waste! Every drop of bm you give them is worth it's weight in gold (or more!!!)!!! Even if you can't keep it up, it is worth it to try. Please hang in there and keep trying... find a LLL leader who will support you.
(((HUGS))) I can only imagine how hard this must be for you... I do think that breastfeeding or not, the effort & $ spent to see your babies is absolutely worth it - they are your babies! And I am sure that every little bit make a difference! I hope this gets easier soon....
Thank you for the support - I'm going to keep seeing them anyway - I know it's important to see them - I know my dh does too - but he only gets in a time or 2 a week - busy with work right now - trying to get as caught up as possible at work before they come hom. I'm going to be headed back in tonight again for a bit.
I'm not thinking of giving up feeding them breastmilk - I"m pumping double what they can eat right now and I am committed to pumping as long as I can also - even though it is more work than formula. They haven't ever had formula - they get bottlefed breastmilk.
My dad brought up a good point - the nursery is full up there and the hospital probably just wants the space - which is why they are being discouraging to me right now because if I gave up trying to breastfeed and just let her bottle - then she would go home sooner.
But I'm going to hang in there for now and keep trying. I'll try again tonight with at least one of the girls and try tomorrow and call LLL also.
Last edited by Mama2miracles : 02-22-2004 at 10:16 PM.
I also wanted to say ~~You are awesome ~~~ You keep pumping and giving it to them through the tube if that is whats best for you all, their tiny little mouths will grow and in the mean time Contact the LLC that was mentioned in the above ~~ Sometimes , actually, many times the nurses aren't the most helpful in breastfeeding , nor are they the least bit encouraging. You keep up the good work and your efforts dear, it will pay off ---I'm sure your DH is overwhelmed , as you are w/ the finances and new babies and your other children. Maybe you could pump at home and then take the milk frozen or chilled ---You also shouldn't have to be paying every time to park, how ABSURD ~~ will the nurses not validate your parking ticket or anything like that ? --PLEASE don't give up !! but either way dear, don't beat yourself up, you are HUMAN --- and you can only take so much ~~ keep your Head up
Bless your heart ~~I'm glad you are all doing well just hang in there ~~~!!
If you're parking in a garage, you should check with the hospital, they might be able to give you a temporary parking permit. That's what mine did.
Also, at my hospital I got different answers from different people, depending on who was on duty. They also think you already have been told things already by a previous nurse, whebn maybe you haven't. I found out weeks into Brigitta's stay that you can request specific nurses to be your twins primary, so they get consistancy from the staff.
If you want to talk pm me
__________________
Blessings, Cindy
"Death is that state in which one exists only in the
memory of others, which is why it is not an end.
No goodbyes, just good memories."
Tasha Yar-Star Trek The Next Generation
My ds was born at 36 weeks, so a whole month older in gestational age than your girls. They do tire very easily when they're tiny, it's true. But I think they get stronger very quickly. I remember being VERY overwhelmed by all of the work of keeping up my supply (and I hardly had any either) till he was ready to nurse, and I only had one. But here are the tips that helped me...
I got a wonderful lactation consultant that came to the house and helped me. The most helpful thing by far that she taught me to do was to use the SNS: Supplemental Nursing System, by Medela. Do you know about this? It is a bottle filled with your milk or formula, with a tube that runs from the bottle. You clip it to your shirt, then tape the tube right next to your nipple. As baby sucks, it is much easier for her to get milk, and then she also learns that she can get food from the breast, so she tries harder. As she gets stronger, she gets used to taking the milk at the breast, not from a bottle (which is a whole different kind of sucking entirely.) The best part is, that using the SNS counts as a pumping session since your breast is getting the signals from the baby sucking (even when it's very very light.) I highly recommend doing this! I was sure that my ds weren't going to be successful at nursing when he was just a few weeks old. But the SNS did the trick, he figured out how to nurse. I just weaned him in October, at 3 3/4 years! It can be done, truly it can. A supportive lactation consultant can do wonders to help though.
The other thing to remember is that babies start to get remarkably stronger and more capable to nurse as they approach their original due date. So for my ds, it was at 4 weeks of age, get it?
I would be happy to answer anything else I can. Take care, hang in there. It is worth it for them to get your wonderful milk. HTH, Laura
I'm so sorry you're going through all this, and mama, let me bow down to you right now as the GODDESS of BFing for doing everything that you've done with NO support and NO help.
Please, please get yourself ASAP to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples and join and post this post or something like it. There are many, many women on this list who have had twins, even triplets in the NICU and have eventually gotten them 100% on the breast. I have seen it happen over and over again on this list (yes, even triplets!). But it is a long road and you need really good advice and support and this list can help you get it. Please don't be put off by the "AP" in the title--we are all MOMs who have widely varying ideas of what AP is and BFing (or doing one's best to) is a major focus of the list regardless of other parenting beliefs. One person who is on this list who can be a major help to you, I think, is Karen Kerkhoff Gromada, author of Mothering Multiples, who can give you direct help and possibly connect you with an LC locally who is experienced with multiples/NICU/preemie issues and can provide some real help and navigate the politics in the NICU.
I'd also recommend getting a copy of Karen's book. Most LLL groups have a copy in their libraries (LLL publishes it) or the hospital library might have it. It has detailed chapters on managing NICU time to get the best start on BFing. Here is Karen's website too (she just put it up so there may be missing links): http://www.karengromada.com . Even if you don't join the list, please email her and mention my name. She *will* provide really useful help, I promise!
I was incredibly lucky to have an easy start with nearly-term babies but from hanging around that list I have learned a lot. First, it's normal to bottle feed preemies and it doesn't mean that all is lost for bfing. It will just take work. A qualified LC can help by giving some tips like using BF cues to bottle feed (tickling the baby's lips and waiting for her to open her mouth wide before putting the bottle in, using slow/no flow nipples like medela's haberman feeder, and others Karen can tell you). You can transition the babies to the breast over time, and it often doesn't happen until their due date or after, even with the most dedicated work. It's AWESOME that you're pumping enough for them--keep it up! That is really great and not everyone is able to do that right away! Also, your instincts are right about not double-nursing yet. That will come in time, but until they're bfing effectively (or at least one is) that probably won't be realistic.
Hang in there mama. You can do this. It's a hard road, but it's one many have travelled before. Your babies are sooooo lucky to have you!
I hope to see you soon over on the APMultiples list.
((((HUGS))))) there supermama!
Cate
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mama to Henry & Eleanor, 3/29/02
I just want to offer you support! I KNOW you are a strong mama who can get through this!! Don't let the nurses bully you, when the girls are strong enough to feed full time, they will.
Theresa (littleturtleknits) just had a baby at 32 weeks in december, and it took him a while to be strong enough to breastfeed full time, it just takes learning & stamina. They will get it!
__________________
Mary,
momma to Tyler 5-14-03 And Maya 1-19-2001
And Ciara 1-14-06
Mama, but I only dealt with one baby in this situation. It's so frustrating trying to establish bf when you feel like the hospital staff isn't being supportive. I cried and cried thinking that my 34 week preemie wasn't going to be able to get the hang of nursing, but with a lot of persistence on both of our parts he did bf ( for 3 years. That being said I know you're situation is different and I do not know how big your girlies are. I was also told by nurses that ds would go home sooner if I would allow bottle feeding, he was mainly tube fed. It is awesome that you are able to pump enough milk for both babies; they are lucky babies that their mommy wants them to have her milk. I am guessing most twins don't get a lot of breastmilk. Persistence and encouragement are the key to success and like the previous poster said LLL would be a great place to look for support. One thing I would like to say is that how good of a Mom you are to these babes is not based on whether or not we can establish breasfeeding relations with our babies. I have been fortunate enough to be able to nurse both my children and am hoping to nurse this new baby as it is a closeness that I enjoy ( I am sure that's how you feel too), but I know that I'm not a better mom just because I bf. Does that make sense? When I was in your situation I put a lot of undue stress on myself because I felt like I would be failing my ds if I didn't nurse him and although I really enjoyed our nursing relationship and feel like it benefited both of us I know that it wasn't a necessity for him be well loved. Okay, I am rambling now. PM me if you need someone to talk to or if I can answer any questions for you and take good care of yourself.
I haven't btdt, but I want to send you cyber-hugs. What you are doing takes a huge amount of commitment & patience, and I am in awe of mamas who rise to overcome great obstacles.
I've totally BTDT....It's not easy. The others have said some wonderful things, so I'll just add that it's most important that even if you end up pumping all the time, that they get your bm. That's the only thing that made me feel better about the whole horrible NICU experience. And if it doesn't work out that they latch to you, do not beat yourself up about it. The most important thing is that they grow and are healthy - whatever it takes. Hang in there!!!! Hug them - hold them close every chance you can. They know it - even being so small - they know it....
just hang in there ~~~!!
Oh Cheryl!
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