hey cheryl, my babies were two weeks further along than yours so i did have it easier than you. i also had several years consulting on my side. even with that it was hard. really hard. it was absolutely beyond exhausting to pump, then go feed them, then wash everything, then go pump, then go wash everything. after several days i reached a point of actually fearing sleep. i am sure you know what i mean, it is an insane state of mind that only moms of multiples and soldiers reach i think.
i digress.
try your very hardest to look at what you are doing instead of what you are not doing. be proud of what you and your wonderful body have accomplished so far. try not to put too much stock into expectations (yours, dh's, nurses', dr's, anyone's). right now you have to do what you can and let the rest be.
do what you can do and don't panic about the rest. you will be surprised how this method will get you where you want to be with your babies. i do know how hard it is to give your baby a bottle when you just pumped. it was all so terribly difficult, without a doubt the biggest challenge of my life. you will rise to the occasion.
((((((hugs))))))) i know where you are. i wish i could hop on a plane and help you right now. the best i can do is offer a phone call. please pm me your # if you want me to call.
and i only have one nagging thing to say: i KNOW there are people asking what you need! tell them you need a ride to the hospital so you don't have to pay parking. let someone coordinate who picks you up and who drops you off. there is a reason you have celebrity status right now...it is because you need it.
you are doing great cheryl. please pm me if there is anything at all i can do for you from here.
Location: "One of the cardinal rules of joyful living is that judging others takes a great deal of energy, and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be." Quote by Richard Carlson
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(((((HUGS))))))))
No advice since I have never BTDT, but I wanted to let you know that I think you are such a wonderful mama for doing what you are doing. I don;t know if I would have been half as strong about the pumping and BF as you are, esp since you probably would like to rest rather than pumping. YOU ARE DOING GREAT!
Hang in there mama.
__________________ Evi,
raising two beautiful souls of the next generation!!
"Sometimes I know I am looked at as an 'oddball', not that I mind being an odd-ball,
I choose to be the odd-ball. I actually wonder why there are so many wanting to be 'squares!'"
You are doing great! How wonderful that you are willing to pump milk and provide that for your babies!!! Breastfeeding one full term baby is hard enough, 2 preemies is a real challenge! You're doing awesome.
You've gotten some great advice here. So I'll just give you a !
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Ann
mommy to Morgan Phillip 5/24/02
and Elisha Nicole 5/10/05
and Bethany Alyssa 1/5/08
My experience, T. was not a premie, but had issues and was in NICU. I can't tell you how many times I'd show up and they'd be giving him a bottle, not only that, they weren't even using MY Milk I desperately tried to nurse him, and he just wouldn't...he didn't like the bottle either, most times he wouldn't take it.
When I finally was able to take him home, I resigned myself to the fact that he wasn't going to nurse because he never did while in the hospital but I would continue to pump and give him bmilk.
I decided to give it a try, and if it worked great, and if not, I'd be VERY disappointed, but at least I tried. WELL...he took to the breast like a PRO!!!!!! I had never been so happy. I think the NICU is such a *Busy* place, and he just shut down and didn't want to bother with anything.
I'm proud to say, he nursed for 4 years 9months.
Don't lose hope. I wonder if it would help to syringe/dropper feed them so that they don't get nipple confusion. More time consuming, but may be worth it in the long run.
those nurses should be slapped by a bf boobie!! grrrrrrr call your local lllleader, also see that lc the nurse 'warned' you about-shame on her for saying that she'd just blame the bottles-duh-of course they are part of the problem! get a hold of an sns and feed your babies at your breast with your pumped milk and you'll get nipple stimulation at the same time, all the while they'll be sucking and learning to nurse. it's something both the lc and the lllleader will be able to get for you. hang tough mama, you can do it.
I don't have much time to post right now, buy my DH was a 30 week preemie (born at 3lbs and went down to 2lbs, lots of complications). He was in the hospital for three months and fed bottles while he was there. They didn't let my MIL nurse him and didn't give him the expressed milk.
The day she brought him home she taught him to nurse. He never had a bottle after he got home, so it must be possible. She describes having to actually teach him though...
All you can do it your best and you are, but don't give up hope!!
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Liba, mommy to:
Zlata Tova 5/6/98, Tziporah Faiga 1/12/01, Esther Rivka 7/13/04 and Avraham Chaim 7/02/06
Avraham Chaim and Flat Stanley vegetable shopping.
{{{HUGS}}}You are such a wonderful Mama! Those babies are so lucky to have you! I can't imagine how hard this is .I agree to contact a LLL Leader. Don't give up Mama! You are doing great!
{{{Cheryl}}}}}}}
Call LLL they love helping, you are absolutely not bothering them.
I know this is frustrating but it will get easier and it is so worth it.
You have my support, warmth, encouragement & hugs.
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~Jen- 3 girls. One Math queen and two ballerinas.
my feedback
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haven't read any other responses, but wanted to tell you that I absolutely know xactly where you are. I was in the same position not so long ago with Greg and the whole bottle-pushing NICU. Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of the stress you're already under.
Now, we were in a slightly different position because Greg nursed fairly well, but the doc still didn't want me nursing him at every feed, and they refused to let me demand feed him-they had to stick to the 3 hour enforced schedule. Which made it difficult for him to tap into his hunger, yk? So, I basically camped myself out at the NICU, and when he showed the slightest interst in nursing I would simply pick him up and begin to try to nurse him. Didn't ask anyone, didn't say I was goign to do it-I just did it. Most times, the nurses didn't say anything, but I had this one snatch who scolded me and said that I had to get her permission. Man, was she ever sorry she siad that to me. I laid into her with all of my pent-up anger and rage at the whole situation, and told her she could shove it cause he was MY KID and I didn't need her permission to feed MY CHILD.
One thing that my friend (Kay Hoover, whois an amazing lac. consultant) told me to try if he struggled nursing at the breast was to get a french 5 NG tube with a 10cc syringe, and thread the tube down along the nipple so that when baby tried to nurse, the tube will give a boost of milk and still encourage suckling (it's basically the same thing as a suplemental nursing system, but WAY cheaper, LOL, since the SNS is $50!!)This way, it will satisfy the docs that the girls are getting the calories they need, but still helping the girls to become familiar with nursing and what they need to do.
Are you doing kanaroo care? I founf that when I was able to do skin to skin with Greg, he nursed much better afterwards. There were only one or two nurses who allowed us to do true skin to skin (him in a diaper, me naked ofrom wasit up, and him laying face down between my boobs, with tons of blankets over both of us, LOL) But it made a world of difference in terms of getting him *ready* to nurse.
Cheryl, you are doing an incredible job. Please don't take this the wrong way, but tell your DH to flip off. Even if you aren't nursing those baibes when you visit, they NEED you to visit them. That's the worst part about the NICU is that it completely short ciruits the bonding process, and the babies who are visited regularly and held and cuddled are the ones who do much better and go home sooner. It is so important for them to feel your touch and smell your skin. I would have camped out 24/7 if they had let me, LOL!!
Okay, I'm writing a book, so I'm going to just say one last thing. The most important thing right now is for those babies of yours to eat. So, please try not to stress so much about HOW they get mama's milk,, just that they are getting it and growing. When we finally convinced the doc to let us take Greg home NEw Year's Day, it was after he made me PROMISE that I'd give him a bottle every other feeding so that he could conserve energy and calories and use them for growing instead of feeding. Three days later I went to the pediatrician and he said "he's growing awesome! You can quit the bottles if you want!" So, take heart-the day will come when your babies are nursing and the whole horrible NICU expereince will be a thing of the past. Greg's 10 weeks old now and he's over 9 pounds!!! Every day the memories seem to fade a bit more when I look at how chunky and healthy he's getting
I promise-it does get easier and your life will get back to normal soon (well, as normal as it can get with twins, LOL!)
if you ever want to talk, vent, cry, or need someone who has been in the same trenches you're in, please don't hesitate to PM or email me. I'll even call you if you give me your #!!
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Theresa, Mama to AJ, Ethan, Greg + Rusty Little Turtle Knits
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Hugs mama!!!
They at least are getting your milk and that is wonderful!
You may want to consider the long term effect of not breastfeeding. If you think you could handle bottle feeding when the girls get home, then maybe that is what you may do.
But I encourage you NOT to give up.
It takes much more muscle power to breastfeed whereas the bottle just flows even when they are half asleep, KWIM?
Of course they are going to get more if they cannot vigorously nurse right now.
AS they grow I bet they will breastfeed much better for you.
Even if your finances are tight right now, Keep pumping and try when you can to get them to latch on without feeling to discouraged. I hope money works out so that you can be with the girls often for your sanity sake.
You have jsut come through a big situation and it is all going to take time. Dont give up unless you feel bottle feeding is just going to be best when you get home.
Love and Hugs!
My ds wasn't early or part of a set (lol), but we did overcome some major problems with latch and milk production. We were in the lac consultants' office every few days. We started with finger feeding (syringe w/tube taped to finger) to build up his weight (he lost over 15% of his birth weight) then progressed to tube feeding at the breast then, finally!, he got the hang of it. But it did take a while - and it was time consuming. I just kept in mind what so many women say on this forum - this too shall pass. It was such a happy day when we could get rid of those syringes. And, looking back, I'm so glad we went through it. For one, my dh could help with the finger feeding and - what a few have already said - the tube at the breast really helped with his learning & boosting my supply. I figure that the struggle to get by those first three months - lack of sleep, frustration, etc. - made it that much more special when he could finally bf w/o all the gadgets. And, let me tell you, our lactation consultants got a Christmas present... they were great. Definitely utilize their services, or LLL - the support is essential.
You're doing a terrific job - go with your instincts.
Many hugs to you. You've gotten a ton of great advice and love. I would like to add that it is never too late to nurse. I know a child who was almost 4 months when she arrived from Korea and she learned to nurse with an SNS in about 5 minutes. In the parking lot at La Guardia. Never give up hope.
(((((HUGS))))))))
!
I desperately tried to nurse him, and he just wouldn't...he didn't like the bottle either, most times he wouldn't take it. 
but I would continue to pump and give him bmilk.
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