amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

JoDee · 04-02-2007, 05:27 AM

Hello ladies. I work nights full time and my husband goes to school full time. We have 2 kids that are in school full time. I was wondering if any ones has a an suggestion for his and her time? I have the weekends off so that makes it nice but the rest of the week just rushes by and sometime I'm not even sure what day it is. My husband is very supportive and helps out when he can. And is wonderful with the kids so I can get a little extra zzz's here and there. But sometimes is hard to reconnect on the weekends. We don't get to sleep together but on the weekends. And that just isn't cutting it. I switch back and for to days on the weekends and nights durning the week. Anyway I was just wondering if I could get some

advise.
Thanks

Barb · 04-02-2007, 09:13 AM

What time do you go to work at night? My first thought is that dinner as a family for family time and then maybe a little walk around the block? I'm not sure if you mean time with him without the kids - if so, I'd find a teen in the neighborhood (wish I could lend you mine) to take your kids for a long walk around the block, to the park etc for a half hour before you have to leave for work.
On the weekends, even an hour at the local pub seems to rejuvinate me and dh. I just went back to work. I work full time, he works full time, kids are in school - our nights fly by - dinner, kids, bath, bed. I feel like I only really see them on the weekends lol

JoDee · 04-07-2007, 10:40 PM

Dinner time is a big things in our house. That's when we can get together. I work at 11pm so we (DH and I) do have a little time while the kids are sleeping. But sometime that just isn't enough. Thanks so much those are some really good ideas some that I didn't even think of. thanks again.

back2thebasics · 04-09-2007, 01:15 AM

it's amazing what little things can do for a relationship. leave notes for eachother, have dh give you a call before he goes to bed at night. go on a date once in a while, i might know of a babysitter for you!!

i read once that a couple put on their calender when they were going to "get together." They said that as wierd as it sounded that it was fun for the man to anticipate it and it worked good for the women so she could get ready for it. (feel sexy, shave, wear something, whatever you need).

tinyterror'sma · 04-10-2007, 12:12 PM

We go out 1/month sometimes we still talk about schedules, kids, etc but at least we're talking.

Storm · 04-10-2007, 04:04 PM

we talk on the phone a lot and email each other, lol.
our schedules ebb and flow but the phone saves us during busy work times. When Dh was in school and working 24 hours shifts, I was working too and we would go days without even seeing each other. It's hard at work to do long conversations I know but just "hello and how was your day" a few times if y'all can find phone time at work really helps.

Redterra · 04-13-2007, 11:40 AM

Tea! Or something similar if you don't like tea. My husband and I try to identify (and update) what makes us feel close to each other, and we often realize that we waste a lot of time that we're together. Even just 15 mins - a little tea time or something of the sort - as long as it's 15 mins that we are really focused on checking in with each other and how we're doing, goes a long way!

We also try to stay in the habit of a weekly "business" meeting - a time where I can express to him what's been on my mind (like if I want to try to buy new curtains next week) and hear what's on his, and try to set a small weekly goal to work on - like wiping off the kitchen countertops after you make a snack.

And lastly, we try to make the most of time we're in the car together - time to communicate, and we try to pray together every time we're both in the car. We also make our weekly grocery shopping into fun family time.

That way - here and there during our days, we can stay connected on a communication level, and then the nights when we are able to go to bed together at the same time - are available for connection on another level