I attended a continuing ed class yesterday on head neck and chest trauma and loved it. That's what I've always wanted to do, emergancy medicine (either in an EMS capacity or a respiratory capacity, I'm a respiratory therapist). It's made me even more sick and bored with my job in a tiny rural hospital.
My job involved next to nothing as far as emergancy or critical care. It is completly brain numbing and non challenging. I hate it. More and more each day. I have to stay though because even though I'm underpaid I have great hours and get to spend time with my kids (their father is largly absent physically since he travles so much, though he talkes to them every day), I could go get a more challenging job but I'd be working 12 hour night shifts in a city an hour away from here. I'd basically be gone completly for 3-4 days per week. It would suck.
I would be challenged but it would suck for my kids.
Then there is another part of me that wants to get completely out of the hospital. That would involve either doing something even more mind numbing than I already do (pulmonary funtion testing in a pulmonary clinic, total yawn fest for me) or going back to school. I'd love to go back to school but I have no idea what for. I love medicine and biology but that means hospital work. I just feel so stuck.
The creative part of me wold love to just quit working and concentrate on custom sewing and designing but I have to feed my kids and put a roof over their heads.
Being an adult sucks sometimes. I feel so torn. I don't know how to challenge my self mentally and be available for my family.
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