Empathic~Heart
03-29-2003, 11:01 PM
The chart on this page is much more clear, but this is GREAT info!
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/components/6961_03.html
Natural Consequences
Major Characteristics Parent's Message to Child Probable Reaction in Child
1. Expresses reality of natural order. I trust you to learn from your misbehavior. Cooperation; respect for self and others; self-discipline.
2. Naturally relates to the misbehavior or unpleasant event. I trust you to make responsible decisions. Learns from experience.
3. Treats child with respect and dignity. You are a person of worth. Separates behavior and self-worth. Feels good about self. Redirects misbehavior to acceptable behavior.
4. Is concerned with present and future behavior. You are a person who can take care of yourself. Becomes self-directing person who can make decisions.
5. Tone of voice is calm, rational, and communicates respect. I love you, but I don't approve of your behavior. Accepts and feels sure of parent's love.
6. Allows choice. I have faith in you; you are capable of choosing. Responsible decision making; increased resourcefulness.
Logical Consequences
Major Characteristics Parent's Message to Child Probable Reaction in Child
1. Expresses reality of social order. I trust you and will stand by you as you learn to respect the rights of others. Respect for self and others; cooperation; reliability; self-discipline.
2. Logically relates to the misbehavior. I trust you to make a sensible and responsible decision. Learns by doing.
3. Treats child with dignity and respect; separates behavior from person. You are a person of worth. Redirects misbehavior into acceptable behavior; feels good about self.
4. Shows concern with present and future. You are a capable person worthy of taking care of yourself. Becomes self directing, capable of evaluating.
5. Both verbal and nonverbal communication convey respect. I accept you for what you are. While I don't accept your behavior, I do accept you as a person of worth. Accepts and feels sure of parents' love.
6. Allows choice. You are capable of making your own decision. Responsible decision making; increased resourcefulness.
Punishment
Major Characteristics Parent's Message to Child Probable Reaction in Child
1. Expresses power of personal authority. Do what I tell you because I tell you to do it. Rebellion; desire to strike back; lack of self discipline; apathy.
2. Rarely related to act; often illogically conceived. Spur of the moment. I'll show you who is boss. You deserve what you're getting and maybe even worse. Resentment; desire to strike back; fear of parent; confusion.
3. Implies only a right and wrong way. You're bad, wicked, evil, not acceptable to me. Hurt feelings; guilt; desire to get even at all costs.
4. Relates to the past behavior of the child. You can never be counted on. You'll never learn. You're unreliable. Low self-concept; is unable to make a decision.
5. Verbal and nonverbal communication is full of threats, disrespect, loss of love. Shape up or ship out. A child of mine would never do a thing like that. Rebellion; fear; guilt; desire to strike back and get even.
6. Allows little self direction. Your ideas don't count. You're untrustworthy. Defiance; rebellion.
Prepared by H. Rita Straub, University of Wisconsin Extension Family Living Agent, Marathon County, WI.
Adapted from Kent Hamdorf. Discipline: Natural and Logical Consequences. Cooperative Extension Service, Ohio State University.
NEXT: Listening Is Love in Action
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/components/6961_03.html
Natural Consequences
Major Characteristics Parent's Message to Child Probable Reaction in Child
1. Expresses reality of natural order. I trust you to learn from your misbehavior. Cooperation; respect for self and others; self-discipline.
2. Naturally relates to the misbehavior or unpleasant event. I trust you to make responsible decisions. Learns from experience.
3. Treats child with respect and dignity. You are a person of worth. Separates behavior and self-worth. Feels good about self. Redirects misbehavior to acceptable behavior.
4. Is concerned with present and future behavior. You are a person who can take care of yourself. Becomes self-directing person who can make decisions.
5. Tone of voice is calm, rational, and communicates respect. I love you, but I don't approve of your behavior. Accepts and feels sure of parent's love.
6. Allows choice. I have faith in you; you are capable of choosing. Responsible decision making; increased resourcefulness.
Logical Consequences
Major Characteristics Parent's Message to Child Probable Reaction in Child
1. Expresses reality of social order. I trust you and will stand by you as you learn to respect the rights of others. Respect for self and others; cooperation; reliability; self-discipline.
2. Logically relates to the misbehavior. I trust you to make a sensible and responsible decision. Learns by doing.
3. Treats child with dignity and respect; separates behavior from person. You are a person of worth. Redirects misbehavior into acceptable behavior; feels good about self.
4. Shows concern with present and future. You are a capable person worthy of taking care of yourself. Becomes self directing, capable of evaluating.
5. Both verbal and nonverbal communication convey respect. I accept you for what you are. While I don't accept your behavior, I do accept you as a person of worth. Accepts and feels sure of parents' love.
6. Allows choice. You are capable of making your own decision. Responsible decision making; increased resourcefulness.
Punishment
Major Characteristics Parent's Message to Child Probable Reaction in Child
1. Expresses power of personal authority. Do what I tell you because I tell you to do it. Rebellion; desire to strike back; lack of self discipline; apathy.
2. Rarely related to act; often illogically conceived. Spur of the moment. I'll show you who is boss. You deserve what you're getting and maybe even worse. Resentment; desire to strike back; fear of parent; confusion.
3. Implies only a right and wrong way. You're bad, wicked, evil, not acceptable to me. Hurt feelings; guilt; desire to get even at all costs.
4. Relates to the past behavior of the child. You can never be counted on. You'll never learn. You're unreliable. Low self-concept; is unable to make a decision.
5. Verbal and nonverbal communication is full of threats, disrespect, loss of love. Shape up or ship out. A child of mine would never do a thing like that. Rebellion; fear; guilt; desire to strike back and get even.
6. Allows little self direction. Your ideas don't count. You're untrustworthy. Defiance; rebellion.
Prepared by H. Rita Straub, University of Wisconsin Extension Family Living Agent, Marathon County, WI.
Adapted from Kent Hamdorf. Discipline: Natural and Logical Consequences. Cooperative Extension Service, Ohio State University.
NEXT: Listening Is Love in Action