I can't talk about the details here. Not now. Maybe later in Sisters.

But tonight I lost my Christian faith. Imagine holding a glass in your hand. Now imagine that glass slipping out of your hands and onto the floor, shattering into a million pieces. It happened just like that, and that fast.

I assume I am not one of the chosen ones. I assume I am predestined not to be "saved". I have no idea what my path will be now. But this path is over.

I feel numb and cold. I just don't have anything else to give.

What is ironic to me is that I have prayed for Meeshi to become a Christian for 4 years now, every single time I read a post of hers. As she enters her journey of faith, i am leaving mine.

If only I understood why.

:hug:
Don't dispair.

praying grace a peace to you.

Anna, we are all the chosen ones. There is no such thing as predestination where only a few are selected to go to heaven. Jesus came so that all might be saved.

I don't know what you are going through, but I think we all struggle with doubts and failings at different points in our lives. One of my favorite sayings is the Japanese Proverb that goes "Fall down six times, stand up seven." That's how I feel about this life - it's just a series of falling down and then standing up, brushing ourselves off and moving on again.

Big {{{hugs}}} to you. I hope you find the peace that you need and deserve.

I assume I am not one of the chosen ones. I assume I am predestined not to be "saved". I have no idea what my path will be now. But this path is over.


For the record, I don't believe in "chosen ones" or "predestination" at all! I think it doesn't matter what you do or believe - you are chosen!

I'm sorry that this has happened - whatever it is. And I hope you are OK with this: I'll be praying for you.

I completely understand! I had the same experience a few years ago. I am finally at peace with the loss....which it was. It does make you view the world in a completely different way though.

I'm sorry! But, I felt that way awhile ago and now am feeling very differently.:sadhug:

I am sorry, Anna. If you do feel like posting any more if the details, we will be here to listen.

honey, I don't know what's going on - I hope it's not related to the adoption stuff.. but if you need/want to talk, I'm willing to listen - I'm not christian though..

I'm sorry... Perhaps it's God working in you in another way... You may be embarking into another level of God experience, transcending an aspect of your former faith.

Whatever your going through I hope you find peace and that whatever transpires is positive!

I completely understand! I had the same experience a few years ago. I am finally at peace with the loss....which it was. It does make you view the world in a completely different way though.

what she said

hugs and forehead kisses to you mama, when i lost mine it was like a member of the family had died. i hope you find what you need to find on your journey.

I feel compelled to come back to this thread, Anna. I do not know what is going on, but I just wanted to share that there are several people in my church who have had their Faith tested in the most life-shaking ways. I, myself, have been tested in not so earth-shattering ways. One of our friends had their brilliant, talented son who was about to go to school to become a Pastor, injured badly in an accident where he was goin 30 miles an hour, hit a patch of wet leaves and smashed into a tree. Now, he struggles to get out a sentence, his body is broken and he will be living with his parents until they cannot care for him any longer. Yet, this family is the very essence of Joyus Faith. They are a true inspiration to Jay and I.

If you really feel you've completely lost your Faith, I can respect that. But perhaps, as Maureen said, what you're going through could be a life circumstance that strengthens it?

Again, I don't have a clue what is going on. I am always a PM away if you need to chat. ((((hugs)))

honey, I don't know what's going on - I hope it's not related to the adoption stuff.. but if you need/want to talk, I'm willing to listen - I'm not christian though..

No no, it is not related to the adoption at all. It is related to something that happened at church last night. I am still processing things today. Someone did something that triggered something HUGE from my childhood and it was the proverbial last straw. My DH is really pissed at them right now, because what happened seems innocent but flies in the face of everything he believes in as well.

Nobody was hurt, nothing catastropic. Just a very personal thing that cracked it all in half for me right there and then.

I will post in Sisters when I collect my thoughts. I cannot post here because my sister is a member of Amitys as well and the last thing I want to do is trigger a bunch of stuff for her with my post.

Anna, we are all the chosen ones. There is no such thing as predestination where only a few are selected to go to heaven. Jesus came so that all might be saved.
.

:agreed: :hug: Anna.

I'm so sorry!! I don't know it "all" but I'm here as a pastor's wife if you'd like to talk about it...

I know alot of people don't believe in an enemy, or satan, but it says he comes to steal, kill, and destroy - if you are being stole from (peace, joy, forgiveness), if something in you is being killed, or feeling destroyed...well that is what he has set out to do.

Don't despair mama, God is not a big mysterious puppetmaster who 'may' or 'may not' pick up your strings to yank. He chooses anyone who will chose him back, He has plans that include a future and a hope for you and He is not in the business if jerking your chain just to 'see what you are made of'.


My hope is, instead of losing your faith, maybe you are just questioning some things you have been led to believe that may not be truth.

I am not in sisters, so I won't hear the story and would really love to - but I am thinking of you today.

I keep coming back to this thread and I feel compelled to post a response-though I don't know what words to say. I hope if it is a church issue you will consider finding a new church home and remember that churches are run by people and are therefore very fallible. Unfortunatly there are a lot of churches out there telling lies in God's name. Spend some time with God and see where he leads you and know you are being prayed for.

I love you.

I'm going to send you a pm for reasons that will become clear, but please know . . . you are always in my heart.

I wish you could know how tight I'm holding you with my love and friendship, but probably you feel so alone and desolate . . . bereft is a good word for what I mean . .

Even if I can't really know whatever it is you are going through, I hope you know that I'm walking right next to you, step for step, through whatever may come.

I am not religious but I do think you can not decide your faith on what other people say or do. People are flawed.

I do think you need to view your faith as seperate from what fellow church goers who you are involved with think/say or do.

If the group did a "no no" and hurt your spirit....find a different group and give them a chance to bond with.....or not and just believe your basic beliefs as an island for a while.

And, it is okay to re-evaluate beliefs too. We are thinking creatures who can do that.

I keep coming back to this thread and I feel compelled to post a response-though I don't know what words to say. I hope if it is a church issue you will consider finding a new church home and remember that churches are run by people and are therefore very fallible. Unfortunatly there are a lot of churches out there telling lies in God's name. Spend some time with God and see where he leads you and know you are being prayed for.


:ditto:


((huge hugs)) I don't really know you or what you are going through, but I just wanted to let you know that you are being supported and lifted up in prayer!

God is SO much bigger than the box that religion tries to put Him in.
NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ.

It is SO extremely difficult to stop believing in something that has previously been your foundation in life. How I see the world has changed. And that has been very scary, but it is what it is. What I believe is very personal, and I can't change it just by wishing, although everyone else seems to think I could if I just tried.

I liked having security and thinking I had everything all figured out, but it's a leap of faith in another way to look around and realize I don't know everything. I am human, and maybe I'm not supposed to understand the mysteries.

Love and hugs,

Kerri

Anna, we are all the chosen ones. There is no such thing as predestination where only a few are selected to go to heaven. Jesus came so that all might be saved.

I don't know what you are going through, but I think we all struggle with doubts and failings at different points in our lives. One of my favorite sayings is the Japanese Proverb that goes "Fall down six times, stand up seven." That's how I feel about this life - it's just a series of falling down and then standing up, brushing ourselves off and moving on again.

Big {{{hugs}}} to you. I hope you find the peace that you need and deserve.


Ditto all that. There is no such thing as "chosen ones." We are ALL children of God, and ALL belong home with him.

And at the risk of sounding like a broken record, there are more paths home to him than just the one. :hug:

I love you.

please know . . . you are always in my heart.

I wish you could know how tight I'm holding you with my love and friendship, but probably you feel so alone and desolate . . . bereft is a good word for what I mean . .

Even if I can't really know whatever it is you are going through, I hope you know that I'm walking right next to you, step for step, through whatever may come.

:agreed: Jess is so much more eloquent than I am.

Anna -- I wish I had beautiful words, but I can only offer hugs and prayers. (((hugs))))

:hug: anna!!

remember that churches are run by people and are therefore very fallible

:agreed: I hope it's a church issue. :sadhug:

I completely understand! I had the same experience a few years ago. I am finally at peace with the loss....which it was. It does make you view the world in a completely different way though.

:agreed: :agreed: :agreed:

I, too, lost my Christian faith approx 1.5 yrs ago. I am just now starting to make peace with God over what happened.

I'm sorry you are hurting mama. I know it is devisating. :sadhug:

praying for you.

BTDT:hug: Anna:hug: It hurts bad!

I can't talk about the details here. Not now. Maybe later in Sisters.

But tonight I lost my Christian faith. Imagine holding a glass in your hand. Now imagine that glass slipping out of your hands and onto the floor, shattering into a million pieces. It happened just like that, and that fast.

I assume I am not one of the chosen ones. I assume I am predestined not to be "saved". I have no idea what my path will be now. But this path is over.

I feel numb and cold. I just don't have anything else to give.

What is ironic to me is that I have prayed for Meeshi to become a Christian for 4 years now, every single time I read a post of hers. As she enters her journey of faith, i am leaving mine.

If only I understood why.

I'll go read it soon. I just wanted you to know that I'll put you in prayer. I think we are all called/chosen.....but now is not the time for this discussion. I'll be sending you my love through prayer.

Michelle