Nothing is getting done. I've been working really hard at being consistent. I tell people to...XYZ...,and they say, "OK, Mom," and wander off. Yes, I need to just sit on them, but I am tired of constantly having to fight.

This isn't how it's supposed to be. DH thinks they should all be in school next year (including DD, who will be 5 in November, so can start young 5's).

It doesn't help that I have a nasty cold right now and want to do nothing more than sleep, but can't sleep because my head hurts and I can't breathe.

what needs to get done? especially with a 5 year old? they are kids, tell your husband they need to be allowed to be children and they will learn. living is learning.
my 6 year old is teaching herself to read and shes teaching my 3 year old. learning is a natural thing that doesnt need to be taught.
i am sorry you are having a hard time mama, i totally understand.

Do you have a big calendar of when stuff is due?

I'm contemplating making one for our house, with lil' doolies (rofl) that can be taken off and removed (sticky tak is your friend). They might things on them like "read & follow up" meaning they'll read something and either do a written or oral follow up with questions about what they've read. This would be science reading at my house, we have a ton of kids magazines and science books and stuff. I'm a sucker for school/science/learning type books and so is (thankfully) my mil who has the misfortune of living right by a kick-butt school-supply store. I could amost move in!

It might also say things like "math review" which is a ditto here. We also have a ton of math games, some I've made up, some have been gifted to us and are Discory Toys or stuff my mother or mil have found at teaching/educational stores.

If the kids get to help build the schedule and know what's coming they're more willing to help out imo. One of my kids doesn't handle change well, and I neeeeeed a schedule to focus, so it's what we're using. You can make it on graph paper and tack it up even.

On the other hand, what if instead of giving up, what if dh asked to see some work they did? If he was in on it and knew that on Tueday you always did XYZ and he came home and said (nicely like he might even be excited) "hey you guys did XYZ today didn't you, want to show me?". My brothers loved to show off thier homework (they were ps'd) and that might help motivate them.

Is the not listening thing an accross the board issue or just with 'school'? If its across the board then it would be in the whole families best interest to address that issue rather than give that responsibility to someone else for several hours a day. It would be one thing to consider changing the educational choices of the family dramatically if they were being done and just not working but what isn't working is character issues, not curriculum/learning issues. Its an easy answer for your husband to say, lets not do this stress again next year, but in the long run its a whole lot harder.

I think you and dh need to brainstorm together as mom and dad and teacher and principal on classroom management, communication and whatnot. All kids are distractable and various ages need more hands on help than others (I have 2 in 1st grade and I have to sit with them at the table during their book work, I don't always have to help 100% but I do need to be 100% available- I work on my wireless laptop or knit during the lull times). I'm not sure I'm helping a lot here since I'm not giving you specific tools to 'get the job done' but I don't know the ages of your kids or the environment going on there. The main point of my post is to not think of this in an isolated fashion as a 'school' issue, that in some peoples minds quickest remedy is changing the school situation- this is a family life issue, one that it would be wise for your husband to partner with you to solve for the best of your kids and family. Regardless of what choices are made for next years education- this year is still going on and let it be a choice made based on education/learning rather than character issues.

Sarah

You might try an assignment sheet... if you haven't already. My ds likes the feeling of "crossing something off his list" once it's done. You could also eliminate the activities they're doing *instead* of completing assignments. I have been very tempted to unplug the gaming system and TV during school hours. (disregard this advice if you are wise enough not to have TV/game systems).

It might also be a symptom of the time of the year. Try switching things up. Go outside for a nature walk, and do some sketches of new species. This counts for science. Let them do math on a card table outside. Read aloud outside in the shade. Go for a field trip! Then write a paragraph about it.

There are some good points above! I like what Sarah had to say, and as SnowWhite pointed out, this time of year can be hard in the smoothest-running homeschools.

I have one born in '98 and one in '01 like you do (and one in the middle in '00), and I can't send those three off to do an assignment. I don't have to do a ton, just answer a question here and there for their "seat" type assignments (math, handwriting, LA) but I really do need to be in the room. If there is ever an argument or complaining about the work, at least in my little school it works to say pleasantly, "well, sweetie, the law says you have to be doing school at your age. Going to public school is what most other children your age are doing, and they're doing ____ (fill in blank of subject) just like you are."

I don't make public school seem horrible or use it for a threat, but I'm trying to remind them that it is just what children their age DO, they do math (LA, whatever).

When I'm feeling sick, I sit in a comfortable chair where I can see them and snuffle and drink juice or whatever, but the setup is essentially unchanged.

And as Branwyn points out - they're all pretty young yet. Maybe focus efforts on accomplishments with the 9 year old and set the younger ones up with a more fun, unstructured learning environment while you get him back on track?

Thank you, Mamas. And, Sarah, you are exactly right. It is an across-the-board problem.

Blech, I deal with this myself quite a bit!

I have found that getting any seatwork we need to do out of the way IMMEDIATELY (like during breakfast) is my best bet for cooperation. I get up earlier than the kids do, so I will set up their math books next to their breakfast dishes, or their copywork, or anything else that requires sitting and writing. They are usually content to work on their seatwork while they are waiting for breakfast, and then I am also available to help them as we are eating. Now this doesn't always work out of course, but more times than not, and it has turned into kind of a routine for us. I am one of those people who likes to get stuff done early and then have the rest of the day for learning at a more relaxed pace.

I don't make public school seem horrible or use it for a threat, but I'm trying to remind them that it is just what children their age DO, they do math (LA, whatever).



I have done this too.

The thing for me I believe is being more present for the children. I find that the more challenging their behavior, the more I want to withdraw. So I come here or do something else that is not being with them. Then, of course, things get worse.

I find that when I am able to be present for them fully, everything flows more smoothly. In fact, I was just going to post about this over at EFT.

Been thinking about you mama, hows it going? Something I remembered that we do that we learned from another family is timers- they are your friend. My girlfriend decided at 2pm in the afternoon is their 'school time' and she set a timer on her cellphone to go off at that time everyday. The kids have learned that when they hear that certain ring that its a race to the table because its the school bell. I like working first thing in the morning with my kids (we have a calender page that they enjoy doing and doesn't require my help so its set out for them during breakfast and usually the time it takes them is enough time for me to get situated with whats next). We have a tray of play money that is used to reward good work ethic (arriving to the table promptly, working on your own work without whining, finishing first....) and they each have their own ziploc with thier name on it to keep their money on the bulletin board (I can take money from the bag for poor work ethic, not missing work so much as whining and dragging feet and poor attitudes). They can use their money on the weekends to 'buy' things from our family store which is not stuff not anything that costs me money. Its a brainstormed list of things they consider special; picking a movie at the library, family game of hide and seek, trip to the hands on museum (we have a membership).....

I use my oven timer a LOT. If I see that their minds are just not into it that day or we are having a lot of issues then I will set the timer for 5-10mins later and when it goes off its 'recess', I have a cow bell to call them back in. Basically if you can make the 'argument' between them and the timer rather than them and you it will take off a lot of stress. I approach the 'money' very calmly, walk around the room with my stash in my pocket and lay money down or pick it up as I see fit (there are not hard and fast rules, some days I don't get the money out at all- there is no telling me what I 'should' be doing). Every few days they count their money and trade in coins and small bills for bigger bills- so its a math lesson too. Basically I want my kids to learn all this great skills and facts, thats why I bought the books I did and am putting the time in, but a good work ethic/respect/kindness is going to take them farther in life than knowing state capitols or whatever. I try to focus my thoughts on that during the day- its ok to take a recess, its ok to stop for the day because for the time being the school major is character studies.

I use the timer for housecleaning too. We set the timer and have a 10min power clean session, kids are more willing when they know there is an end in sight. Or I'll send them to pick up 10things (I do this a lot lately) in a particular room/area. My kids have really liked only having to pick up 10 things and if I feel like they are dragging their feet then I'll use the timer to time them. I've been surprised that if I just ask them to do a 10thing pickup at a few points in the day each then it really helps the overall house.

Another thing I do is because I have more than one student at the table plus a roving toddler there are times when one child finishes or they both do and I am pulled away. This is a prime time for them to run off and play and then I have to go through the potential fight to get them back to the table and focused again. What I do is I let them each pick a book, or I pick one for them (could be a totally just for fun book like a comic book), and that sits next to their work. Anytime they finish something first or I'm called away and they don't know what to do then they can look at their book- they are not to leave the table without permission.



I'm glad to brainstorm more for you if I knew what you considered the 'hot spots' in your family. I'm no expert but I'm glad to help if I can.

Sarah

:agreed: Timers are big, big, big around here, too. Plus I do try to be good about mixing seatwork with active stuff - we'll throw a 10-minute-tidy in there. Or there are a couple of loud, fun songs we love to play (loudly) while we do a 3-minute cleanup somewhere. They all will race to see how much difference we can all make in a room before that song is done.

I like Sarah's idea of a "fun" book next to them - I usually just say to stay in that room, because, like her, I have to go off with the baby and "lose" the youngers in that process.

I know I say this for everything, but I stress gratitude here for almost every ill. We are really so fortunate to have books in our home, time to sit and learn, to be with our family. We talk a good deal about people in other parts of the world where children WORK, and not in a warm, comfortable home, where they would long to sit down and learn to (read, multiply, write nicely, etc). I don't really lecture about this, but do try to describe a child's day in other points of history, or other places in the world. To me, awareness of our amazing blessing in living in this place and time is the antidote to so many of our childrens (and my own) attitude problems, including not wanting to work (idleness, resentment, etc.)

Oops, where did that soapbox come from :help: ?!!??

Kim

there are so many good ideas here, I think I'll take some as tips on how to organize my day :D

Thank you.

There are some really good ideas here.

I spent some time yesterday afternoon looking at free unit studies and coming up with ideas for the coming weeks. I even got around to requesting some library books. I am changing our focus to unit studies and lapbooks. The Well-Trained mind approach did not work to engage them.

We found BeyondThe Spiderwick Chronicles 1 at the library last week. I told DS that he had to read it this week, and to make a plan for how much he had to read every day to get it done. He actually had it read yesterday (3 chapters a day). Today, the plan is for him to write a summary and maybe draw pictures of his favorite characters.

I'm feeling better (physically and mentally). I'm still sick and the baby has an ear infection, but I'm feeling more focused and believe I can get us on track here. I intend to keep going through the summer, so hopefully, in the coming months things will improve, and DH will reconsider.

These ideas will definitely help in getting everyone back on track!
Thanks again.