Dh got his paycheck yesterday, and there was about $700 extra dollars on it. Now I didn't think that cops got Christmas bonus's (and they don't) but was feeling greatful and was thinking of how to apply that to our Best Buy account (the one that is going to accrue $327 in interest if we don't pay it off by Jan 30th), when Don called me with his pay stub. Apparently they give them $690 a year for cleaning their uniforms. We totally thought that was something that they included in every check... but apparently not. They tally it up, and then you get a 'bonus' the paycheck before Christmas.

So, I am not going crazy. I bought one $20 Christmas gift with it. That is all that was "off" the list. I am paying off that Best Buy promo (already in my bill pay to go through for Monday) and I also paid ahead our phone bill for Alex's new phone charges (which will be around $50 all told). I feel so, controled. lol...

When I was at Costco today, I got one thing off my list... a pack of $10 nitrite free mini hot dogs to put in our Organic mac and cheese this Sunday while Don is at his concert... I felt, just... very in control.

I am taking it back, one step at a time. The house isn't spotless, but it is cleaner than it was last week. Cyan and I are not consistantly getting every thing done in homeschool, but we have been doing a lot more than last week.

I made chore charts again for the kids, but different this time. Last time they were below Alex's level of comprehention and above Cyan's reading level. So he thought they were stupid, and Cyan couldn't do it without help... so I made two sets this time. Alex's is attached above and Cyan's isn't quite finished but hers is laminated cards with chores (and pictures so she can read them herself) in a fabric pocket holder with AM, PM, and FINISHED on the pockets. She loved it tonight. And Alex took his calendar and put everything from my list onto the right days after dinner tonight.

The four of us (me and the kids) had an Eagle tea party after dinner. We made Eagle nests (chocolate covered stick pretzels, with nuts and cranberries and two mini marshmallows for the "eggs") and had tea and popped the strawberry popcorn we picked from the farm before the flood. We haven't done anything like that in a long time. Both kids picked that as their favorite part of the day. We need to do that more often. The baby just sat and drank water from his straw cup and ate a pretzel or two. I was close, his brother and sister were being funny, and music was on. He was happy.

We are pulling out. I am gaining control of not having control and some momentum and it feels so good. I felt like such a failure for these last few weeks. Everything was getting away from me. I had the illusion of it all being in my control. My dad and I talked and he said that I am so strung in so many different directions that there is no way I can keep it all under my control and I need to start deligating. Then the next day I talked to Sarah (the deligation queen!) and even just by talking with her about it, I was able to figure out ideas that have helped this week. I have really been able to figure out our problem areas and address them with everyone... and it is working. How cool is that?

Just good stuff. That is all...

Back to your regularly scheduled programing. ;)

Val

Just kidding, can't attach the chore list after all. I'll just put it in quotes:

WEEKDAY MORNINGS
Get dressed
(INCLUDING NEW UNDERWEAR)
Get socks on and shoes ready.
(Know where your shoes are!)
Brush your teeth
Get your key, your wallet, and your belt.
Get backpack together with homework in it.
Make Breakfast
(Oatmeal or Eggs and toast... as I teach you to make more the list will grow longer)
Make your lunch
(if you want things on your lunch that we don't have, make sure to put them on the list as they run out. I only shop on Fridays. So remember that, and when you run out of something, let me know, before Friday. Putting things on the list will not garentee that I will buy them, but it will make sure I know you want them.)

HOME FROM SCHOOL
Snack.
You can have something like an apple, some pretzels (small white bowl, half full), or some banana chips.
Homework.
Check your calendar for things like Garbage take out, Boy Scouts, or Crazy Hair Day
Empty Dishwasher (if clean)

WEEKENDS
Clean your room.
(This will happen each weekend before you do anything with friends)
Fold and put away your laundry.
Empty Dishwasher (if clean)
Straighten up patio (including any chicken stuff)
Take Recycle to the bin outside
Clean chickens water.
Clean chicken coop.

If all of these things get done consistantly, you will start getting $5 per week, on Fridays.

You will loose money for bad behavior, and missed assignments at school.

You will get extra money for extra things not on this list. Like helping with raking leaves, pulling weeds, sweeping the driveway, cleaning the grill, folding and putting away other peoples laundry, cleaning out the car, helping clean the bathroom, changing sheets, and other things we need and ask you to do.

wow...fantastic. what a great suprise.

Wonderful!!

I will be stealing your "delegation list"!!

That looks great! I may need a chore chart like that...having it concrete helps SO much. And one of the issues at our house is that Jake "gets away" with not doing anything, which is true, because I'm always spending so much time following up with K that I just do for him - he takes a lot of time and hand over hand before he gets something, but he does tons more at school with a visual schedule (pictures on laminated cards) than he does at home.

Hmmm...over Christmas break I may have the energy to set this up. Thanks for the inspiration!!

Congrats on the bonus! :cuc:

My DH (cop also) did get a Christmas bonus, but it wasn't very much. However, in November, there were 3 paychecks (instead of 2)...so the 3rd one was MUCH bigger than usual, since they don't have to take health insurance or our car payment out of it. I paid down a LOT on our MasterCard and Home Depot card, and finished the Christmas shopping.
It's awesome to have that extra, isn't it?

Oh, wonderful news, Val! What a nice chunk of money!

I hope you will at least buy yourself a little something - even if it's just a haircut or manicure or some good, organic chocolate. :hug:

You deserve it! :)

Hooray! A little breathing room and debt-load decrease goes along way towards feeling on top of things. I'm so happy for you guys.

I know I've been having horrendous headaches. Like 3-advil-with-2-tylenol-every-3-hours headaches. And my neck and shoulders are so tight and sore, and it's definitely because of stress, money of course topping the stress list. I feel like things are getting on top of me. Luckily, Dave got a $200 grocery store gift card last night with his paycheque as a Christmas bonus. So food is taken care of until the New Year when things hopefully slow down and get back to normal life again.

I desperately need to figure out a chore system. Or any kind of behaviour system. To get to go to the movies today (we have passes from their birthdays) all they had to do was clean up their own bedroom floors and you should have seen the crying and frustration at such a momentous task. We need some kind of reward system, definitely.

Kerri

I am not sure about rewards for Cyan yet. She is still motivated by getting the chickens eggs, or cooking with me (which are both on her chore chart)... but Alex, well, getting cash has been a big deal in the past, so this will work out well for him. Also, for every missed assignment, instead of being grounded, he gets an extra chore that he has to do that he doesn't get paid for. This worked out GREAT for today, when Don's dept had a big pancake breakfast that he would have had to miss (being grounded). So instead of missing out on fun family stuff, he got 6 extra chores for the 6 missed assignments. Works GREAT for me... because I get my car cleaned out, the chicken coop cleaned (oh yes, not having to shovel chicken crap is wonderful! :) Miss more assignments Alex (just kidding)), my back patio swept, the drive way raked, the front walk swept, and the laundry folded (Don will help with this)... all for "free". Works for me, he is good at that, so he gets positive reinforcement for doing these things, and I am not 'just letting him off' from missing work at school. I am ALL ABOUT this plan. lol... all about it. It makes it him against him. And I have been trying to find a way to do that for a long long time. When it is me grounding him, or telling him what I am taking away, it is like him against ME, and that isn't what I want... it won't work at all to instill good work ethics... it will just make him feel like I am unfair. Now I all have to do is leave him a list, along with his progress report (that shows what he missed). He gets it, and I don't have to yell at all. Perhaps he will change, perhaps I will have a very clean house and yard for a while... but whatever. It is in his hands now, not mine. And THAT in and of itself, is a huge deal for me. Too much of his success was in 'my' hands. Not any more.

Yes... the money felt great. I even got to put more on it today because one of our other credit cards payments were lower than I thought. We will have Best Buy completely paid off by the end of Feb... I feel it. One down, three to go. :D

Lauren, if you would like (Kerri and anyone else too) the clip art and work cards that I made for Cyan, I made them in Office Works... so you are welcome to them. Just email me at BlueRoseMama @ hotmail.com. :)

Val

awesome, mama!!!

Cool on the unexpected money! :) I bet it feels reeeeallly good to have some bills of your shoulders. phew! I know I feel more at ease with frugal living when I am being frugal out of principle rather than because I am going to screw the pooch if I don't. :lol:

It also sounds like you are on a much more even keel right now. Sometimes I get so worried about you. You care so much and do so much. :hug:

Question about the chore chart for Cyan. That sounds really cool and I am thinking to try something like it with Anja. Can you give examples of the chores she does (I know - this is lame, but Anja does not currently have any regular chores right now, primarily because I have not been able to get her to do them in a manner that is less stressful than just doing them myself, kwim?) and also explain the AM/PM pockets. I get that one is for morning, evening, lol, what I am unsure about is if you select each day which chores go in them or if there is a regular schedule for her to follow? I think that Anja might groove on being able to have a schedule to follow because she has been really getting into making lists/plans, etc. as a result of some things they are doing at school. I want to take advantage of getting something started while the fun is still in it for her!

I was going to attach her chore charts, but once again I can't do it. The file is "invalid" for Amity, so feel free Katie, to email me and ask me to send it to you. They are cute little clip art cards.

Anyhoo... how I have been doing it, is I have a chart with pockets (which are not done yet, I am making the cart out of fabric) and she has one line of pockets for AM and one line of pockets for PM. Then another larger pocket for DONE. AM starts with:

http://www.dolakblog.com/graphics/toothbrush.gif
brush teeth

and goes on to:

eat breakfast, sweep kitchen (Don does the dishes in the evening, so this works out great), feed chickens, feed cat, and then:

http://members.fortunecity.com/agreeve/girlsbw/homework.gif
Smaller of course, with 'school work'

and then behind school work there are cards that say (with pictures) "animal day, art day, Ecojournal day, cooking day, or Starbucks school day." Things she enjoys so she has something to look forward to in her school day.

Then the PM ones start after nap/before bed time. She usually just has ones in there like "take vitamins" and 'set the table', but on her bath days I add in "BATH TIME!" and "Brush your hair"... things like that.

Anyway... I am doing it, but she doesn't have the chart yet. Although it sounds great in theroy... doesn't it? lol... I will let you know how it actually works with the chart in hand. But the cards sure are working well. :) I just need to remember to put them in the right places before I go to bed.

Val