I can not get the kids to do their school work. They say they hate it. They cry and the scream. Yes. it's boring. I am overwhelmed and do not have time or money to revamp our system until next year. I have a tremendous amount of outside pressure to make sure they are doing well, if they don't, it's off to public school they go.

I want to make school more interetsing, but at this point and time, this has to be on them. They have got to stop sitting at the table crying for an hour and a half over one stupid math page.

marcus, who can read at a 4th grade level throws an absolute fit if I ask him to read one page out loud. he insists that the only book he can possibly comprehend is Magic tree house. And yes, he uses the word comprehend. the other books I have for him to read are EASIER.

Ugh. I am just so sick of homeschooling. Sick of it.

:hug: i understand mama.

:hug: mama... not easy.

Can you do some off-site learning? take it to the library for the day or something to "shake things up a bit" and make it more interesting?

What about rewards? (ie) 30 min of school time and you can do a 10 min ute recess break of free time w/ playdough or something that can be a visual reminder (sitting on the counter)?

Austin was like this and it was SOOOOO draining mentally!

I started putting his assignments on a big whiteboard, and he could cross them off. It gave him a visual - so he could look at htis white board any time and see what he had done, and what he had left. I also gave dots by their names for 'offesnses' which included whining about schoolwork, being defiant about it, picking on siblings, etc. Each mark meant he had 10 minutes of extra duty (cleaning chores that were no fun or else sitting on the stairs doing absolutely nothing) and if he got up to 6 (an hour) then he would serve his hour's worth of time, and he forfieted his free time. With him, I had to be very strict - and when I was, things ran so much smoother than when I was more lax. It was realyl upsetting the entire household.

I'd take a week off if I were in your place. I'd also drop the reading from the books you want him to read and have him do the Magic Tree House books. It might be that the other books are so easy he's bored of them.

I'd just about sell my eye teeth to have Annabelle read a Magic Tree House book rather than a Junie *gag* B book.

As for the outside pressure, tell them they are making it hard on you to be a good teacher. Reading between the lines it looks like the stress from living up to the outside expectations is hardest on you. I could be totally wrong, though. But if that's true, I'd talk with the outside pressure person/people and tell them to lighten up OR tell them to take a flying leap. I have a feeling you can't do that though.

*HUGS*

I was going to suggest you all take a break from formal schooling for a week or two right now too!

Head off site to wherever you can find visually and physically enticing surrounding and let the kids really experience those places. Tell them they will head back to academic work soon but that they need to get some inspiration from other things right now.

When you head back to academics, do so slowly and methodically and if they balk, conference with each balker individually about their issue(s).

One of the beauties of homeschooling is tailoring the experience to the child and not forcing them into a tight box of conformity.

When troubles arise, it's always good to take a break as others have said, or another thing I have tried (in my vast 1 year experience of hsing, lol) is starting with the fun stuff. Like for Thanksgiving week I just planned to read some thanksgiving stories and do a thanksgiving craft. Well we didn't get to the books.
Also Dannielle's checklist idea is always good. Now I make one for the week of what I'd like for us to get done, rather than for the day though. That way I don't have to feel like a failure every day, only once a week (lol, just kidding, usually we get it done). And I'm always able to give ds a choice of what he'd like to do next. I don't try to make him do more than he can handle. He can do a full page or two of math, but phonics is only half a page at a time. He can't do anything that's really writing intensive. One day of spelling is spelling out the words with letter tiles (kinda like scrabble).
Also I get books from the library to supplement a topic. (and except for his Reading, I normally do the reading) Or even DVD's if I can find them. For example, if the science topic is Hearing, I would get a few books from the library about that. They can be read anywhere, on the couch or as a bedtime story.
And also remember they will learn wether or not you teach them anything. Have you read anything by John Holt?

can you do time4learning again? did they respond well to that?

:rub: :big hug:

We went through a stubborn period for awhile, and had to sit down together and make an agreement. They don't want to go to public school, so working with me is the only option.

It's not like I was cramming encyclopedias down them; I wanted them to participate in led drawings, math manipulative work, etc. These are things they usually like. We had swung so far out on the pendulum that we had no structure and I sensed that we needed it, but met resistance.

So we talked about it. They agreed to the small amount of work I was requesting, and I agreed to crate a rhythm and to gently remind them that they don't want to go to public school (rather than offering it as a threat).

We ended up very free form again, and now they are the ones asking for focused time with me.

Good luck.

Thanks mamas for encouraging me. We had a better day today, but it was a fluke.
i think half of my frustration is that I have to work within the boundaries of public school expectations. I was homeschooled with a very free form, and dhe was public school, and his mother was a public school teacher. Both of them have put a tremendous amount of pressure on me, and I in turn, with a fear of the consequence of failure, have put a tremendous amount of pressure on the kids.
It isn't working for any of us. I hate it. they hate it. and dh is still upset because Marcus is behind in Math, MIL is continuously upset because Marcus doesn't "borrow numbers" yet, and his spelling curriculum is sub-par, and on and on and on.
Dh wants me to homeschool, but he wants it to be the same as public school, just at home.
I see the advantage to homeschooling to be that it doesn not have to be like public school...that we can follow our interests, that we can be more free, and that we can work at our own pace.
Dh SAYS he loves that we can work at our own pace, but then gets all stressed when anyone falls "behind."

My dd2 has been digging her heals. I've been getting her to do work but not the way I'd like. She needed a shower so I told her shower or math. She got her shower. ;) Now I said dishes or math. She's doing her math. hehe I think we'll do some SOTW when she's done. Then after lunch I'll let her pick a book to read (from the ones I offer her of course).

This is the child who wants to go back to public school but whenever I *mention* schoolwork she groans and hides. How can I send her back??? Umm no way! As of right now, she'll be home again next year unless *she* changes. She's not too happy about that, but dh and I are in agreement. Besides her reasons are totally social. So I'm trying to get her more involved with some other homeschoolers in the area.

Most kids in public school aren't working at grade level. I was rather horrified when I went to school one day with Annabelle and saw over half her class leave for remedial reading class. A little less than half went to remedial math class.

Could your MIL be putting pressure on your DH in private, which in turn makes him freak out on you? I've personally found that professional teachers feel personally insulted by home schoolers. Annabelle's teacher thought that I was saying she was a bad person and teacher when I pulled her back out. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Maybe your MIL feels the same way? She could be unconsciously trying to make home schooling out to be a "failure" in an effort to make herself feel better. I can imagine that for her, if her own grandchildren did well at home schooling it would call into question everything she has told herself about her life and education.

*hugs* to you and your kids. It sounds like a hard situation all the way around.

Thanks mamas for encouraging me. We had a better day today, but it was a fluke.
i think half of my frustration is that I have to work within the boundaries of public school expectations. I was homeschooled with a very free form, and dhe was public school, and his mother was a public school teacher. Both of them have put a tremendous amount of pressure on me, and I in turn, with a fear of the consequence of failure, have put a tremendous amount of pressure on the kids.
It isn't working for any of us. I hate it. they hate it. and dh is still upset because Marcus is behind in Math, MIL is continuously upset because Marcus doesn't "borrow numbers" yet, and his spelling curriculum is sub-par, and on and on and on.
Dh wants me to homeschool, but he wants it to be the same as public school, just at home.
I see the advantage to homeschooling to be that it doesn not have to be like public school...that we can follow our interests, that we can be more free, and that we can work at our own pace.
Dh SAYS he loves that we can work at our own pace, but then gets all stressed when anyone falls "behind."

:hug: I can so relate to everything you wrote, except in addition to everyone else worrying about my kids falling behind, I've started to do my own worrying about it as well. So now the pressure is from me in addition to being from others. And my kids hate doing schoolwork too and give me such hassle. I do have a chart they work off of and that helps some with them knowing exactly what needs to be done, but as soon as I want to add in something else to the schedule that isn't normally there, they pitch a fit. Public schools just aren't an option, so I have to make it work. Sometimes I just have to yell at the kids and tell them that they HAVE to do the work whether they hate it or not, and that if they don't do it at home, they WILL be doing it in a public school (even if I have no intention of following through on that). I always make sure they realize how much more work and how many more hours they would have in a public school, and sometimes that helps a bit. I just wish they enjoyed it more like they did when they were little, and didn't fight me so much on it.

Maybe your dh just doesn't understand how it all works. I know mine just didn't get it for years. He just couldn't understand how it all fit together if the kids were "behind". I think talking to him could really help things.

Dh and I did not see eye to eye for several years. He was on board, but he just couldn't chill out enough to see the big picture.

Homeschooling, even school at home, doesn't mirror the PS experience. It just doesn't.

IME, learning comes in "chunks" not a perfect line moving in an upward direction. There are key concepts kids learn, but they have 2-3 years to get them.

Talk to your dh. Tell him what you are trying to do. Keep talking and communicating. I often had the kids show them what they did that day. I also, would give him my "plan". Fortuately, my dh hates my plans. :lol: So, all I had to do was tell him I wanted to review my plan and he was in agreement without seeing it. :D

I know my dh just wanted a say yk? He wanted to be heard so I had to pay attention to his feelings too.

He's been fully on board for 2 years now. I've been doing this for 6. :drop:

Just remember that a lot of the public school day is "down time". The kids transition from classes and subjects and get recess, so the teachers aren't teaching the whole time. Sometimes a lot of time is lost because a class won't settle down. You don't have to be doing structured work all day at home either (and you'll still get more done). Math games like "count down" or even cards can be a great way to teach the subject with out the kids even realizing they are learning. Maybe just have one day a week be educational game day, but only if the kids finish their work the other 4 days.
I know it's hard. My ds can tell me the correct math answer and then take so long to write it down that he forgets what the answer is. Still, he's making more progress now than he did last year in public school.

Dh SAYS he loves that we can work at our own pace, but then gets all stressed when anyone falls "behind."

Sounds like you need to change what is going on with the dh and homeschool. not with the kids and homeschool. KWIM? I am sure if you took some of the pressure off (off you and off them) they and you would have more fun and do better.

I would take a week or two off. Make the entirety of school one subject... like Science. Make every day a Science adventure.

Then, while you are having that fun time with the kids, write up a general curriculum on the computer with your dh so that he "approved" of what you were going to do, and then implement that with the kids after Christmas.

Anyway... whatever you do, you have to find a way to release the pressure. And huge :hug: That has to be SO hard! I hope you find an end to this soon. Homeschooling shouldn't be so hard when learning is so fun!

Val