Okay, for a friend going to school, I am trying to write out the dumbest, most obvious, least cookery recipe possible. Tellme what you think.

First off, Target has Anchor Hocking glass mixing bowls. A four quart bowl costs five dollars. Buy one.

Second, at the grocery store, in the salad dressings/ vinegar aisle, you'll find a "Good Seasonings" box. It has a glass dressing bottle, called a cruet, and envelops of powdered salad dressing mix. Buy it. For one, it's pre-measured, and two, it looks nice on the table. You are not yoked to buying the envelopes forever.

Now buy:

A 1 pound (lB) package of rotini. The multi- colored looks nicer, when it's done. Buy the house brand. It's the cheapest.

A package of Feta. The cheapest is sold with the grated regular cheeses, not near the deli.

2 cans of beans. Pick different colors. Pick ones you like.

A can of tuna. Oil-packed is fine.

Vinegar, and oil, for the salad dressing.

Two bell peppers, of different colors. They will be different prices. Only get the same color, if one of the peppers is over a dollar each.

Other hardish vegetables that you eat raw. Carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, zuchini, squash, are usually the cheapest.

If you like, add a package of parsley. It's only 50 cents. It adds nice things nutritionally. That is, if you like the taste.


Now, go home and make this.

Mix the dressing. Don't follow the hatch lines, like the instructions say. Eyeball half oil and half vinegar. Shake it up with the powder, and set it aside.

Now,boil the whole pound of pasta. Boil water in the biggest pot. Add salt when it's almost boiling ( tiny bubbles in the water) It will bloom with furious water. This is a chemical reaction, which is pretty cool. Then, add your pasta. Boil it for eleven minutes.

While it's boiling, open and pour both cans of beans into a colander, or strainer. Run water over the beans until the bubbles have quit. Then pour the beans into the glass bowl.

Pour the cooked pasta into the colander, to drain it. Then pour the pasta into the bowl. Pour the salad dressing on top.

At this point, you've got a complete protein. About half the bowl is full. Now it's time to load it up to the top.

I usually put the tuna on next. Can opener the can, squish the lid down, and turn the whole thing over. The oil or water will drain out. Then use a fork to pry the lid up and off. ( cut fingers, otherwise) Dump the tuna on top.

Now, the cheese. Crumble it into bits, and put that on next. It sort of crumbles onto everything, making it taste slightly more sophisticated.

Now, start chopping up vegetables. Get them down to 1/4 inch squares. Go look up chef techniques online, to find out how to chop up things efficiently. ( I can tell you horror stories about the 45 minutes spent on a celery rib, but I won't) ( the horror, the horror) ( this person has been permanently banished from several kitchens)

The parsley- strip the leaves off.

Layer them on top, in strips looks nice, but is utterly unnecessary.

Keep going until the bowl is all full. This is four quarts of very healthy food.

Present, if you are sharing. If not, stare and marvel- layers, strips, flavors, colors..

Now, stir it all up. Scoop from the side, aiming for the bottom, but hitting the middle at first. Dump the scoop into the middle. Keep working around the bowl, until it's all mixed together- about two trips around.

This can serve for a whole weekend, lunch and dinner.

What do you think? Did I miss anything? Skip anything obvious?

Does it sound good?

ari

Sounds awesome to me!!! :D My only suggestion, if they are really that clueless about cooking, is to add the note that rotini is the spiral pasta, in case the package doesn't specify that name when she(he?) goes to get some. :)

Oh, and it might be majorly confusing to them, but if for some reason the spiral pasta is out, that ribbons and tubes are going to be just as good! :p

Oh man I would SO make it cause it sounds delish~YUMMO! - but i'm the only one who would have anything to do with it in this house :shake:

You could make it even easier by specifying that they get the pre chopped/shredded veggies instead of having to chop them at home. A little more expensive but for an "idiot cook" they are great.

And yeah, any shape pasta would probably work as long as it's not spaghetti noodles.

It sounds yummy. I'm adding everything to my shopping list this week.

Chole

Sounds very yummy. I think I'm going to make that! (minus the tuna, not a tuna fan here).

I have done that before minus the tuna and it is yummy. I think I will try it with tuna.

You may want to mention what type vinegar (white or red wine, etc), and what type oil (olive, etc). I would know what to choose, but an absolute beginner may not, lol.

Other than that, easy recipe!

Thank you for trying it. Please let me know what you think of it. I get mixed reactions at the house.

I've been fiddling with it for a while, so I am a little too close to "see" it, really.

You are absolutely right about adding details- corkscrews shaped pasta, what type of vinegar, and so on...Oh, the dressing should come to the top of the cruet, not just the bulb at the base. I've written out the instructions a few times, and talked them out, and I still forget the little details that make it different.

I just used apple cider and plain veggie oil, like on the good seasonings box. I tried it with white vinegar, like what you clean with, and it was seriously harsh. I made it with cheap bottled salad dressing, and -ew- there's a reason they are so cheap- harsh, oily, sugary, taste the preservatives. I tried it with a homemade vinaigrette, but it seemed lacking, so I tried the good seasonings- and it worked.

It started life with farfalle, and then it went to penne, and then I tried it with corkscrews. The corkscrews seem to act like honey spoons- they catch little bits of stuff in their "gills," which is, so far, the nicest effect, tastewise. I wonder what the exotically shaped bulk pasta would do,but i won't find out, since it's more than double house brand corkscrews.

I wonder what canned salmon would do, for instance, or defrosted artichoke hearts, or fresh basil, or even parmesan + mozzarella. Spinach doesn't age well in this. Each of these is about a four dollar addition, so I'm not trying. Right now, it's about $10 to make:

$1 pasta
$1 two cans beans
$1 seasoning packet
$ 2.50 feta
$0.50 can of tuna
$0.66 package carrots
$0.75 cucumber
$0.50 zuchini
$0.12 tomato
$0.50 squash

uncounted, aliquot of oil and vinegar
oil $2/bottle, and oil $1.50/bottle


Grad students can get scholarships for about $800/ month, so they have a crazy budget, esp since this town is going pricey and upscale. My friend was doing drug studies, and appreciating the cafeteria food there-

I figure this, with oatmeal for breakfast ( 5 cents) popcorn for one snack ( 5 cents, again) and an egg ( 10 cents) he doesn't have a brilliant diet, but he can live healthily over a weekend.

I make it for dh, when I don't want to be bothered every hour for food from all the constituents. The boys won't eat it anymore. (grr-rrr) they lobby for microwave biscuits ( 50 cents each) microwave popcorn ( 25 cents a package) and cold cereal- ungodly- with the price of milk added in. And it's not substantial, and it's not healthy, and they are cranky, irritable, and half languid, after getting all this junk.


ari

Darling,
when are you going to come over and make this for me, minus the feta?

Sounds great!

I'll wear my shirt apron, and use napkins, and everything!

I'd love to see you and your girls irl.

ari