we had to leave our house for 2 hours today for it to be shown, and we went to a local bagel place to eat. (uggg...shouldn't have) but anyway, as were getting into the car, i noticed a man going through the trash can outside of the bagel place. we was extremely thin with nice pants that were hanging off of him terribly, a nice button down shirt, and an umbrella to shade him from the heat. i thought, "oh no...hope he finds what he's looking for"...well, he did...a drink. :eyes: he pulled out a cup that someone had thrown away, took the top off, and drank it. he pulled out a couple of things to eat.

i can NOT stop thinking about that man and hoping he finds what he needs to survive today...and gets in a better place in the long run. i wonder if he was dressed nicely because he is looking for work. i wonder if he has enough money for his family to eat only and is going through the garbage for himself. maybe he's happy and at peace. maybe he's terribly sad. maybe he doesn't have any family.

anyway, maybe he was put there just to teach me something today. to remind me to be generous with what i have, even though we have so much less right now. to encourage me to be grateful for what i do have and not to be down about our lack of income at the moment. to encourage me that there are so many ways to make things happen...i mean the man *did* find something to drink and eat in there. i love when i am reminded of what a great life i have. even if that man is happy, i'm sure he never dreamed he'd be looking for things to survive on in the garbage can.

perspective...thanks stef. i'm so grateful you are in my life.

perspective...thanks stef. i'm so grateful you are in my life.

:heart: can we just make sure that we are never ever over 30min away from each other. that scares me!

:tear:

I have seen this too and everytime I feel guilty. I know I am not responsible personally for whatever reasoning that may be that has forced this person to eat out of trash cans, but it still hits a nerve.

It bothers me that on so many levels:

the person is so hungry that they will eat ANYTHING and risk getting sick,

the person is possibly a susbstance abuser and just does not care that they are eating trash

we as a society throw away enough food that people can actually get a full meal out of a trash can!

I have gotten to the point of dumpster diving, not for food but for clothing. It takes just a little bit of the right attitude to not care what others think as they walk or drive by and shoot you dirty looks.

In times of desperation, anything looks workable. And I believe that seeing that man for you was definately a sign to take a step outside of your own problems and re-evaluate what you DO have!

How fortunate for you that you were able to catch this message from the universe.

We have a large number of homeless. It breaks my heart very time I see something like that.

We don't have a large homeless population here, but near where we used to live there was. Whenever we came across someone seemingly in need, we'd empty our pockets - even if it was just change. It breaks my heart - entirely.

In times of desperation, anything looks workable. And I believe that seeing that man for you was definately a sign to take a step outside of your own problems and re-evaluate what you DO have!

How fortunate for you that you were able to catch this message from the universe.

you're right. i am so grateful i caught the message too. i felt super stressed about money tonight, and i recommitted to being positive and faithful and surrendered to whatever happens and to take it a day at a time. and that man has stayed in my mind and continued to inspire me to dig deeper within myself for contentment.

Yes, very sad. :(

I just read The Street Lawyer last week, some homeless-ness has definitely been on my mind.

I gave 5.00 to a man who was on the side of the road with a sign. We were on our way to the vet's office. I never thought about Cara next to me- I think the guy was afraid of her. AQnyway, I hoped he bought something to eat with it. Then, two days ago I saw him and his friends laying next to a building and drinking out of wine bottles, each taking a turn to go beg for money on the side of the road. (We were at a red light.)
My sister told me to just give money to a shelter or a fund instead of handing it out.
My friend will only hand out food- like a loaf of bread and some peanut butter.
I guess I wish I hadn't contributed to his wine fund:(

I think that the intent in giving the money to the man was good so you need to think about that rather than his drinking issue. You were being a good steward and regardless how he chose to spend that money it does not change the deed that you did.

Where we live there is very very little homelessness but that will change because we have had two major factories pick up and move to China thus leaving a couple thousand people without jobs. We are one of the poorest counties in Michigan and it shows. In one year we went from very few people walking along the road during the day (other than joggers and people having fun) to quite a few people roaming aimlessly because there is nothing to do without work. It has been really hard on me since I have never witnessed this before.

Monday when dh and I were in Ann Arbor visiting friends we drove by a homeless elderly women who was wearing tons of layers of clothing and her shoes were so broken down that she couldn't stand on them (her heels kept sliding off the sides). The image of her is burned into my mind and has effected how I have perceived even the smallest things this week.

Completely an aside from the OT... Unfortunetly, most people who are on the side of the road around here are like Maura's case. Just taking turns panhandling for their own personal fund of booze/Meth. It is so sad. We have people around here that panhandle for no reason too... I once saw a guy while we were walking to the blockbuster, walk from his spot on the side of the road, to his CAR and get in and drive away. Completely not homeless... just a way of life. He was probably mental, but that is an aside, because they can work at Goodwill, and the food kitchen. Anyway... I try not to get jaded, but it hurts way more to see men eating out of dumpsters (because obviously he was hungry, and being homeless wasn't a choice he was making for that day) than it is to see people with signs. I was homeless for months... I never panhandled. I also never did drugs. I don't know if those two go hand in hand, but they may... I just don't know. I have given food too. I never give money anymore. It hurts not even to trust the poor. I want to, but I have delivered too many Charity Christmas boxes to houses nicer than mine, with people with nicer cars. Being poor isn't a reality for them... it is a state of mind. They just don't have the room on their 6th credit card to afford to put the $500 in toys they want to give their children on it. I give what I can, and I hope that others do the same, but I am ****ed choosey about who I give it to now. Sad, but reality; some people take just to take.

The other day I saw a guy with a sign that said "Dreaming of a Cheeseburger". It made me smile...... and then it made me angry.

Val, I feel the same way. It's so hard and icky feeling to not be trusting and to not want to give. But I've seen too many people screw the system more than it's helped them.

I know of 3 families who shop at the food shelf. They all drive nicer vehicles than us, live in nicer homes and eat out more than we do. They will then use the food shelf if they blow all their money that week and have none left to feed themselves. I no longer donate to the food shelf. (and yes, I know there are legitimate families who need it...that's the icky part)

One year I donated toys to the "needy" for Christmas at our elementary school. I happened to see my neighbor (at the time...we no longer live there) picking out the toys that I donated and handed them to her youngest child. A week earlier, she was telling me that they spend $500 per child for Christmas each year (and they really do...you should have seen all the stuff they got!). Oh, and their home was much larger than ours. I never donated to that cause again either. :(

Val, I feel the same way. It's so hard and icky feeling to not be trusting and to not want to give. But I've seen too many people screw the system more than it's helped them.

I know of 3 families who shop at the food shelf. They all drive nicer vehicles than us, live in nicer homes and eat out more than we do. They will then use the food shelf if they blow all their money that week and have none left to feed themselves. I no longer donate to the food shelf. (and yes, I know there are legitimate families who need it...that's the icky part)

One year I donated toys to the "needy" for Christmas at our elementary school. I happened to see my neighbor (at the time...we no longer live there) picking out the toys that I donated and handed them to her youngest child. A week earlier, she was telling me that they spend $500 per child for Christmas each year (and they really do...you should have seen all the stuff they got!). Oh, and their home was much larger than ours. I never donated to that cause again either. :(


that is sickening. Honestly. I have used the food shelf and the Toys For Tots drive. And you know what, I was mortified that I couldn't provide 'properly' for my children myself. I couldn't imagine misusing those services because I 'blew' the household money.

I saw the same guy again today..I pretty much have seen him all wekk. I also notice that all of the people asking for money around here have the same sign- cardboard with black marker saying "Homeless- God Bless". I hate to admit it, but honestly, I feel like they are using the God part to elicit sympathy.
I'm just going to do what my sister suggested and give to a shelter.

Perhaps you could give to that man in paticular becuase you know he needs it. It isn't the giving that is the issue... it is the people who abuse it. He isn't... you know he isn't. Perhaps just a bag of homemade food, or something... something that he will know he is cared about a bit in this world, that won't hurt or contribute to any horrid habit... but to him. Just for him. This is something that people did for me when I was homeless. I was given things... not money. A car seat for the child I was pregnant with, a cradle, some vouchers for lunch at my school, things like that... they helped. And no one had to think I was going to buy smokes, or booze with the money they gave me, I could only use it for the things they intended it for... you know what I mean? I would hate to think that no one did anything for this guy because of all the other asses out there who abused it... you know?

Val

this guy that was eating from the trash can never asked a single person that walked by for anything. we watched 3 or 4 familes go in the bagel place. i was amazed.

i usually give something to the people that ask...often just a little bit of change. dh and i have been together a couple of times and bought food for the person; a couple of times they declined food, and that was sad.

just *looking* into government assistance is so very humbling. i know that there are a bunch of takers in the world, but man oh man, i have so much more compassion than ever for people who are really without what they need. especially when i think about how i feel sometimes lately...and ummm...i have 2 degrees. i can't imagine how it feels to be without the neccessities (and other things too) and not have a great way to earn either.

val, how old were you when you were homeless? umm...and please ignore me if you have no desire to talk about it. i'd love to know what you ended up doing and how you got to such a great place now (not just talking monetarily). you must have been sooo scared being pregnant.

I was scared. I was 17. Just after I turned 18 I had a woman come to my rescue (I was 6 mos pregnant at the time). But that winter... the time before I met Susan, I was so scared. My sister had moved to New York, and left me living with her ex husband... which was a terrible situation, and then Alex's dad left me. It was just all I could do to live through it. Most of the time I stayed at the school. As long as I could. No one knew I was pg until I was a good 6 mos a long... some didn't know the whole year. And I had him July 20th. lol... I lived in my car for part of it, I lived on peoples couches for some of it, and when I graduated the same woman that got me help for lunches so I could at least have one good meal a day found me a woman who needed help watching her two boys for the summer. She let me stay there, and honestly, I think she would have even if I hadn't done anything for it. Because I know I couldn't have done a great job 9 mos pregnant in the dead of summer in MI.

Anyway... I don't mind talking about it. It was 11 years ago... and far enough behind me that I don't get much emotional responce when I talk about it anymore. The main thing that pulled me out of it was instinct, honestly. I had been told that ever since I was a tiny baby that I would go to college. Both my hippie dads were college profs and my mom taught as well. I was bound for college. And I just never thought about not going. So when Alex was 5 wks old, strapped to me in a Baby Bjorn, I took him to my first class... and didn't stop taking classes until I had a BA in Developmental Psych 3 years later (I graduated early, because I took summer courses too). The first two years I had to spend at a community college becuase I had Alex... and I didn't have childcare becuase their infant childcare was reserved for those working towards a GED (so because I had graduated, even though I was 18, I couldn't put Alex in their child care)... so for a year, he came with me, to most of my classes. Some of my friends watched him during lunch sometimes, my friend Sammi would watch him during finals, but he was with me... 90% of the time for a year. Then he could go into the 'teachers' daycare (my step dad is a teacher there still) and I even got a discount. It sounds hard, but it really wasn't... it was one foot in front of the other. It was taking each day at a time. It was instinct. ****ed good instincts. (And no drugs to cloud them.)

Anyway... I remember being like that man. I remember eating cold top ramen noodles with no seasoning for lunch for days at a time. I remember getting in a fight over a jar of pickles. I never remember thinking about how to get the most money out of the next person who walked by.

thanks for sharing, val. inspiring.