We've been cooped up- rain. Mesmertv wears off, eventually.

The boys----jousted. One sat on his sister's rocking horse. The other sat on her pink, pink, pink, tricycle. They aimed collapsing plastic lightsabers at each other, and charged!

One knight wore a grey knit ski cap as a helmet. He wore a blue tunic with a fierce creature on it. ( His Dad's XL IceBats Hockey Tshirt) and carried a laundry basket lid as a shield. He's seven, btw

The other fierce knight wore a black tunic with a fierce creature on it ( His Dad's XL arena league ?I can't tell- it has teeth) and a grey baseball hat as a helmet. He, too, carried a laundry basket lid as a shield.

The black knight was howling " I am King Richard, the Lionhearted! I have never been defeated in battle!!!"

The fair princess (2) wore a too big sundress, and a plastic costume tiara.

I think the blue knight -carrying a blue plastic lightsaber- was someone special, too. Lancelot- king arthur? Someone kingly. They were both pretty regaled up.

After one was unseated, they would sword battle.

It was the most funny thing I've seen in a long, long time.

I hope you can picture it, too. It was perfectly ridiculous.

ari

That sounds awesome :D

Didja get it on video?? Having many boy cousins, I can definitely picture it, as can dh who has two brothers. Man I'm glad I just have a knight and a princess :lol:

Heehee!!!! That sounds hilarious!!!! I can see they have your unique, creative way of viewing the world!! :lol:

+blush++

thank you.

what are your kids up to? I would love to know what other kids are up to. We are cooped up here, with the rain. Also, King Richard the Lionhearted really is extraordinarily territorial, so I can't invite children over for him to play with. And now, I can't invite Lancelot's friends, either. His friends have been little toads, picking on the King. There are perfectly good kids *right*next*door* that they won't play with.

What are your prince and princess up to? dolls? tv? candyland? dressup? swim classes?

What are your kids up to, enchanting mama? I know they have to be scary brilliant, doing CSI, and the other school pictures that used to be in your signature area. Pretend I'm visiting you- I'd love to hear.

ari

Scary brilliant...um, I wouldn't go so far as saying that, lol..but they are scary creative, how's that? :D They think a little off the beaten path, and come up with the wildest stuff...I am happy to foster it, cause original thinkers are the best people, imo! :p

Lately, they have been playing with fire. As in, we bought a little brazier, and they have been building fires in it everyday. Out there, collecting sticks, and twigs, and leaves, and figuring out how to lay them for the best fire, etc. And then getting to clean up the piles of ashes, while not turning black in the process. When they are not doing that, they have lately pulled out the magnifying glass, and have been practicing burning leaves and grass and paper, and whatever they can think of. Hopefully, they won't be having to practice their skills in putting OUT fires, anytime soon! :lol:

Oh, and dh bought the last game system we still didn't have over here, the PS2 (we have it in Hawaii, but not over here). So now, aside from the PS3, which is still too scary expensive, we have every single game system known to man. :rolleyes: So they have been catching up on the games available only on that system. I spend a lot of time kicking them back outdoors, and off the dang things! :lol:

Ds is playing footy (rugby), but the season is about to end tomorrow, but then we are starting up with another league for a short while, just to extend it, cause everyone in the house minus me is footy mad!! Even dd has her favorite team that she follows, and knows all the names of, and has all the team gear, etc...I personally don't get it, but my view is there are WAY worse things a 13yo girl could be obsessed with! :p

And if you were really visiting us, you would be getting up close and personal with our new little puggle, aka pug-Jack Russell cross. Okay, he's 6 months, now, but he's still a little idiot, and the recent weeks on end of rain totally messed up the training, cause it was hard to get him outside into it on schedule. Ugh. But he's a cute little guy, and takes his guard duties WAY seriously, and would first growl his head off at you, til he figures out you are a friend, and then he will be ALL over you!! :lol: That's the other project the kids are up to...learn to take responsibility for another little person! Poor ds isn't adapting well, lol. He loves animals, but this little thing who is in his house, in his stuff, in his laps, and then he has to clean up the POOP! Well, not going over well! We tell him it's a DAM* good thing we didn't have a new baby, instead of a puppy! :rolleyes:

And we actually plan on getting them into swim classes, too. And maybe the Little Nippers, which is like the junior lifeguard program over here. Lifeguards, aka lifesavers, are a HUGE thing over here. Being a beach nation, they are a national symbol and icon. And they wear the dorkiest outfits, I gotta say. Google Australia Surf Lifesavers, and get an eyeful of the little speedos with the cool matching beanie hat! :lol: But the children's program is a major thing, and will be good for them, increasing their awareness and safety in the ocean, which, since we are usually living near an ocean somewhere, is always a good thing! I just need to remember to sign up in time this year..I keep missing the darn cutoff date, cause it's like in the middle of winter, or stuff like that, and so cold, I am not even THINKING of water! :vent:

Um, okay, as usual, I am running on at the...fingers!! :p Stopping now! :D

:lol: cute! :)

very cute.:)

I have to say, boys have become like little aliens to me, since I only have 2 girls. I had one brother growing up, and had lots of male friends, but little boys are just little foreigners to me. It is a strange thing to realize.

very cute.:)

I have to say, boys have become like little aliens to me, since I only have 2 girls. I had one brother growing up, and had lots of male friends, but little boys are just little foreigners to me. It is a strange thing to realize.


I grew up with two sisters, and having boys really is a different kind of vibe, lol! Not to mention, you realize just how much nature vs nurture arguments are useless, heh! Sooo much of "boy" traits are hardwired in, and while some things can be nurtured, and trained in a certain bent, you are dreaming if you think they can be totally nurtured out, without completely messing with the way things are supposed to be, lol!

You know, their energy can leave me splayed out on the couch by the end of the day, virtually incoherent. But they are so sweet in a way that's different than girls.

It can be sort of heartbreaking, too. Like, ds1's friend is (was) a little girl. She came over and beat him up pretty badly once. Her mother was sitting in the living room telling me about how girls are gentle and nurturing and boys are so tough and unfeeling. Well, he'd let her do this, b/c he liked her, and she surprised him with her attack. They were five at the time. Like, she kicked him as hard as she could in the ribs. He was sore and slow for a weak. The mother saw a "fearless" and "independent" little girl, but if that had been my son, she's have seen a "violent" "thug" "future rapist." Her explanation was that she was trying to keep up with the boys in her preschool, and my son was a boy.....

No. They have not played together since.

I can see how parents can be extra- protective of a daughter, though. Biddle is called " my heart" She works so hard to be connected and snuggled and loved, that even though she's not showing any outsize talents she is special, just for showing up.

ari

Ouch. I would have been hard pressed not to pick the little ...brat...up by the scruff of her neck and boot her out the door! :drop: My dd is "fearless" and "independent", and I would have kicked her butt if she ever did that to someone, esp to a friend, whose house we were visiting!! :shake:

And that explanation that she was just "keeping up with the boys" is crock. Suki has kept up with the boys her whole life, is rough and tumble, tough as nails, and still is caring, nurturing, and supersweet, in my own not so humble opinion. And Kalki is the sweetest little marshmallow, who can wrestle with the best of them, plays footy, and is all boy.

People who are sexist like that drive me NUTS. Sure, there are some traits that are more prevalent in one sex vs the other, but people are PEOPLE, and should be taken on an individual basis, on their OWN merits and personality, not judged to be something or other just because of the body they have, or whatever. :shake: Sorry, one of my hot buttons. :p

Your poor ds. I wouldn't have let that girl back, either. :shake:

I knid of wonder if that's one of the benefits of having a larger family- there is inescapable proof that people are people, and not so much gender theorizing. I mean, my dad is an only, and spouts off the most ridiculous theories about children. The mom in question was an only, and has an only.

It's strange stuff, too, Like, pre-printed Valentines? The boys ones all say " You're great!" not " I like you!" We had to make ones to share with ds's friends one year- he was crying, b/c he wanted one to say " I love you" to his best friend. Now he gets the pre- printed, and is careful to put hearts on the ones of his best friends.

And they do have a sense of teamwork and justice- it just sounds different than little girls ( I think, I don't know about little girls) Like, when the older one's friends came over for an end of the year party, the younger one was knocking down their pillow towers. They got together, and came up with " You can help us build a big tower. But if you knock ours down, we'll knock down your tower." They didn't say " you big destructive beast! How dare you! Bad! bad!" They came up with something that accepted the destructive possibilities. And they do play dress up- it's just not pink. It's dressing up as giant slugs (crawling under their bedspreads- it really is kind of spooky ) or jedis enrobed in bath towels, or dogs, or trains. or knights or dinosaur bones coming to life.

Every time I hear some snotty remark about little boys, or teenage boys, I think "please don't break my little boys heart"

Or, gosh, theatre. Boys aren't supposed to like theatre. Well, we've been. Granted, I had to promise a sword fight- delivered- but still, their friend's mom would not let him come, since " boys don't like theatre." And, hey, shakespeare has violence all over it.

Oh- the theater thing was cool! it was this provisional college troupe, just putting on a comedy during the summer. It was some sort of 16th century thing, with all sorts of misunderstandings. It was outdoors, free- they asked for donations- they used the student union as the stage, so there were students walking through their play, just talking away on their cellphones. They had two big plastic totes of props and costumes ( cheesy fake beards, rusty stage swords, fake mustaches, a velvet drape and a PVC shower frame, for "backstage" a fabric rose, a water pistol) They were dressed more or less in their day clothes- a prom dress, too, though. Oh, and that guy who married Demi Moore? The lead guy looked like him, and had his semi sheer shirt unbuttoned the whole time, and way low- slung jeans. Oh, my. (fanning, fanning, fanning)

Or, or, or clothes- they like clothes. They like hawaiian shirts, and shorts with hardware, and piratey things. That's all pretty decorative.

ari

DD is teaching us lessons. She is the first girl grand on DH's side. Before her, there were five boys, with another one close after. There are now two more girls, but they are wee yet.

DD is right in there with the boys, but she is also different. She taught the boys things they never thought of, like climbing on chairs to get to things placed out of reach. And she was 2 at the time....

I think having big families might teach something of gender roles depending on the family. DH is one of 8, 4 girls and 4 boys. There are weird double standards there. And MIL is convinced that DD has been sexually abused because she is always talking about her body parts. She does it because she is the only girl among a bunch of boys, and they laugh and ask her more questions because she openly answers them (or they tease her and then she's running around trying to prove to them that she absolutely does have different body parts than them :eyes: ) and they think it is hilarious. I don't hear talk of "'ginas" when we visit my family where there is a big ol' pack of little girls running around. It's not an issue. And, I haven't told MIL that the ONLY place she has been unsupervised with anyone is with her boy cousins at her house, so if she were "messed with" (MIL's words) it happened in her house at the hands of her grandsons. :vent:


But I so know that fear of having their little boy hearts broken. My nephew is 2 and half years older than DS#1, and every now and then, he'll start feeling like he needs attention and tell people DS was saying things about him, like "You're gay," or some such. We always know it's not the case because DS doesn't even know what that means and the words he uses simply aren't words DS would use (and I'm not just being blind, here; he has a little brother, and I know what he would say to someone if he were trying to make him feel badly, LOL). So, every time they get together, I get nervous, thinking, "Is this the time that someone's going to be mean because my DS likes to hug on his cousins?" And, "Is this the school year that kids start calling him gay because he stands too close?" (personal space issues) They are so, so precious, and I don't want their loving spirits to be squelched by people being jerks, YK? And I am so sad, because I just don't know if there is any way around it, YK? It's like I know it's going to happen eventually.

Anyway...I'll pass the Elmo now. ;)

I knid of wonder if that's one of the benefits of having a larger family- there is inescapable proof that people are people, and not so much gender theorizing. I mean, my dad is an only, and spouts off the most ridiculous theories about children. The mom in question was an only, and has an only.

It's strange stuff, too, Like, pre-printed Valentines? The boys ones all say " You're great!" not " I like you!" We had to make ones to share with ds's friends one year- he was crying, b/c he wanted one to say " I love you" to his best friend. Now he gets the pre- printed, and is careful to put hearts on the ones of his best friends.

And they do have a sense of teamwork and justice- it just sounds different than little girls ( I think, I don't know about little girls) Like, when the older one's friends came over for an end of the year party, the younger one was knocking down their pillow towers. They got together, and came up with " You can help us build a big tower. But if you knock ours down, we'll knock down your tower." They didn't say " you big destructive beast! How dare you! Bad! bad!" They came up with something that accepted the destructive possibilities. And they do play dress up- it's just not pink. It's dressing up as giant slugs (crawling under their bedspreads- it really is kind of spooky ) or jedis enrobed in bath towels, or dogs, or trains. or knights or dinosaur bones coming to life.

Every time I hear some snotty remark about little boys, or teenage boys, I think "please don't break my little boys heart"

Or, gosh, theatre. Boys aren't supposed to like theatre. Well, we've been. Granted, I had to promise a sword fight- delivered- but still, their friend's mom would not let him come, since " boys don't like theatre." And, hey, shakespeare has violence all over it.

Oh- the theater thing was cool! it was this provisional college troupe, just putting on a comedy during the summer. It was some sort of 16th century thing, with all sorts of misunderstandings. It was outdoors, free- they asked for donations- they used the student union as the stage, so there were students walking through their play, just talking away on their cellphones. They had two big plastic totes of props and costumes ( cheesy fake beards, rusty stage swords, fake mustaches, a velvet drape and a PVC shower frame, for "backstage" a fabric rose, a water pistol) They were dressed more or less in their day clothes- a prom dress, too, though. Oh, and that guy who married Demi Moore? The lead guy looked like him, and had his semi sheer shirt unbuttoned the whole time, and way low- slung jeans. Oh, my. (fanning, fanning, fanning)

Or, or, or clothes- they like clothes. They like hawaiian shirts, and shorts with hardware, and piratey things. That's all pretty decorative.

ari

My poor ds...he was nine before he picked up the vibe that kissing his best friend on the cheek (a boy) was probably not the best idea. He is SOOO affectionate, and a little young and not very streetwise, so he naturally hugs and kisses people he loves. He's 10 now, and keeps it to an arm slung over the shoulder now. I am glad he was able to figure it out for himself, rather than have his friend yell ewww and shove him away.

I WILL say, at this point, both my ds and my dh would be bored to tears by theater. It's just not their thing. But dress up, oh my, ds has the BIGGEST imagination when it comes to that, lol! And dd is right in there, egging him on, indulging HER fondess for messing with makeup by painting scars and blood dripping off him! :lol:

And clothes, yes, he has been very particular about his clothes since he was 2! :lol:

Hey! Google "Faraday chemistry candle christmas" and you'll get this classic series of lectures, something like "the natural history of a candle' or something like that. It's a Christmas series of lectures given by Michael Faraday, way back when chemistry was both interesting and accessible. It would really work with the brazier, I think. He's got a great life story, too. If I remember it right, he was a young, starving lad at the start of the industrial revolution, and this great chemist let him live in the lab, as long as he worked 6 1/2 days a week, 12 hours a day. He became a brilliant chemist, I want to say with titles and merits, and so on. I think it's old enough to be gutenberg project, or equivalent. Your kids might like it.

Don't you think our kids would get along? Loud, florid imaginations, and tender hearts?

I hadn't thought about large families fixing stereotypes. I haven't seen many with children in large families.

And, ahh- I have to hide my makeup. My wonderful red lipstick and black eyeliner??? Vampires! And perfume, come to think of it. Ds sprays it on his hair. He likes the bottles. They disappear to the shrine in his room. It's the top of his bookshelf. It has a comic book, a snoopy sculpture, an ann taylor perfume bottle, his silver christening cup, a big fluffy duster,a penguin robot and his sports medals, his pictures of friends, lego ships.

I wonder if other mothers- like of our husbands and boyfriends- hoped we would not break their hearts, or crush their spirits? I mean, my grandmother treats my brother's life like the whole thing is a joke. My mom doesn't mention him liking a girl, or being nice, or anything. She's sort of looking at the girls like they are breeding stock, and he should choose a girl based on a wet nose, bright eyes, and good conformation. He'll say " But I don't like her--" and it's like he's talking a foreign language. And none of them take seriously that his heart is pretty bound up in his three closest friends. They have been closer than brothers to him, for over twenty years now. That's parties, high school, college,marriages,kids, divorces, bankruptcies, businesses, Katrina...... They have been more loyal and loving and knowledgeable about him, and he about them, than anyone at all in the whole family, me included. And that's invisible to the parents and the grands.

ari

faraday + candle

will bring up the lectures. The one on clara.net, by beavon , will have the six lectures with sidenotes explaining stuff.

you know, if pre- sexual kids get razzed for being gay, can you imagine how lonely and scary it owld be to be a gay kid?

ari

faraday + candle

you know, if pre- sexual kids get razzed for being gay, can you imagine how lonely and scary it owld be to be a gay kid?

ari

Yes, and I started to say when I typed that, that I don't have a problem with someone being gay, I have a problem with someone being teased and/or ostracized and someone being labeled as such simply for being loving to others, YK?

I guess I'm lucky on the theater front--DH has a degree in theater, even though he is an industrial salesman now. ;)

And adding: DS was diagnosed PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) a few years ago. They said, really, he's closer on the spectrum to Asperger's, but still not enough to label him as such. I often don't see it--he is extremely high functioning. Most of is it social, and I suppose I don't see it so much because the social that I witness, I am generally used to.

Last spring break, we got together with above mentioned cousins (boys aged 11, 8 1/2, almost 6). My boys were almost 9 and almost 6. At one point, I watched Killian. He would touch the other boys' arms while he talked to them, cuddle up right next to them on the floor or in a chair, etc. Then, I was almost wincing as he sat right on the 11 year old's lap. (I was sure that would end badly). It was actually quite funny, as they were carrying on a conversation, and the 11 year-old just looked down at him (they were practically nose to nose) and continued the conversation. After a few minutes, the elder just kind of pushed him off of him, but didn't say anything and didn't appear really bothered by him at all. I was so glad, but then, I thought--what if he did that to someone at school? Perhaps he would not. There are a couple of friends, though, at school whom he dearly loves.

Anyway, as sometimes happens, I was faced with those "symptoms" and seeing that, perhaps, some of that is true and I do need to be vigilant with teachers, etc. to make sure they understand and are available to help in such situations BEFORE something happens to break my little boy's heart, YK? It so makes me want to homeschool him and keep him where I can protect him to a greater extent, but that's another post....

Again, sliding horribly off topic and hijacking with my own issues.

Oh dear. You should be worried. I don't know what your school is like, though. The school here- in my oldest son's kinder class, there was an SID boy. He tried very hard to make friends, but, obviously, didn't really know how to go about it. The teachers had training, the assistant principal had training, the counsellor had training. The kids kind of figured out he was irritating. The MOMS----if the mom knew he was SID, they were more easy going. If they didn't. oy. And the kids would go home with a problem, and talk to their mom, to help figure it out. I knew, since I knew the mom from soccer. I said " His brain works differently. He doesn't know how to do some things that are very easy for you." Another kids mom said "He's a bad kid." She also talked to me about what a bad mom he had. I thought she knew he was SID, so I said " No, she's very involved. He's kind of asperger-y." Three months later, the mom said " Did you know he's autistic?" Um, yeah. I did. And if I can't get that across, and I know the moms, and the teachers and the kids.....There's a small sign in the room, telling the teacher's aides what to watch out for. It's above eye level for kids. It has allergies, SID,flash tempers- things like that. I thought she'd seen it- she was at class nearly every day, since she is in teacher training. Her kids name was on the list. I thought........anyway.....


I know this is a sad and fearful little anecdote. I hope it is not so heartbreaking for your kid. I mean, two years into it, this kid is so frustrated, and I don't know that there are ways for him to be rescued, unless it's going to a different school, with more aspergers kids, or something. I know it doesn't help that he was held back, and he looms over the other kids. I think that's part of it, too- he's frightening to them. And, if not them, then their teacher has to stay a bit more vigilant, which can't help her state of mind when dealing with him.

Anyway, it might make life a great deal easier if you also let them moms know what's going on, and have a script or some suggestions for what they could say to their kids.

OTOH, from what I've read, all little boys need facilitation to figure out how to make and be friends. There are formal programs for bullies, for instance. I know the preschool my kids went to had one teacher who sort of specialized in that, and she's famous. At least one mom drove 2 hours to get her little spectrum kid to this class. So, he's sweet, and connectable, and on the spectrum of normal guy-ness, right?

I am kind of expecting teacher conferences on ds2, when he starts in three weeks. I've had them, already, for the two years he was in preschool. He's a territorial little rules fascist, who screams can vibrate mirror glass. He has one huge freakout a day. It used to be two. I am hoping he can control himself at school. He has an enemies list. I keep saying "Steve Ballmer. President Eisenhower. Steve Ballmer. General Eisenhower. Steve Ballmer...." It beats "nixon, hitler,nixon, hitler..."

ari