Is this a stupid question? I don't want to jinx anything, but DH has recently received some orders at work and is looking at one of the best bonus checks of his entire career in the coming months. And, things, in general, are looking really good financially. For us, it has been easy to live frugally when we HAVE to, but what happens if/when we don't?

I am afraid of what will be on the dockett when more money is coming in. DH has plans for a new mountain bike (sadly, he just bought one last year, but before he really got into biking and really knew what he wanted/needed; fortunately, he should be able to sell his old bike for close to what he paid for it). He has already been chomping at the bit for a new car, and if I had given the OK, we would likely already have one. I see the list in front of me, mamas: new computer (ours is on the fritz, but we also have a laptop and could just use it), big ol' flat screen TV (and then probably a new surround sound system, TiVO or something, who knows), backyard makeover, or maybe just go ahead and skip that and go to a bigger house, new kitchen table and chairs, new furniture.

Don't get me wrong. There are things I would like. The kitchen table and chairs has me tempted. Our kitchen chairs are falling apart. We do need to fix the terracing in the back yard and do some work back there so water isn't washing down by the foundation. I'd love to have something in the back yard for the kids to play on and a chair or something comfortable to sit and nurse the baby on. We need a new apartment-sized fridge for the kitchen (that's what is in there now, and what will fit). The old one is original to the house (1963) and a new one would probably pay for itself in electricity savings alone. A sewing machine (mine broke about 2 years ago), if only so I can make Halloween costumes and Christmas pj's for the kids. Oh, and we need a dresser for Reagan's clothes.

There is debt to be paid off. I think I can convince DH that should come first (um, after the mountain bike, anyway). But, I am afraid of what might get in the way of paying off debt and what we might "need" when we have money in the bank, YK? I am more concerned about what DH will need than myself, partly because in the past he has either disregarded what I had to say about purchases (namely a $6000 fishing boat that has been sitting, unlicensed, unused since DS#1 was born, and shortly after it was purchased--on credit), suggesting that "he had earned it," etc. I think he has grown up a lot since then, and learned a little, if from that purchase alone, but I am a little concerned about whether our priorities will match up if there is money to spare in the bank.

Also, it's kind of freaked me out the last couple times he got really good orders when he said, "How's that? Do you like that? Does that make you happy?" Like he thinks I'm expecting it of him, or that I wasn't happy with what he was already making/doing, YK?

Try not to think of it as spare money. Make a list of the different things you both want to do with the money, prioritize how you both want to spend it, and then wait awhile after you get the money to decide what to do with it. Don't buy anything now knowing that you'll be getting money soon. That has gotten us into trouble before! :lol:

If it's something that will save you money, I could justify it. Like the fridge and sewing machine would fit in that category. Everything else would go on outstanding debt if I were in that situation.

Imagine making a huge dent in it all at once like that! That would be so much less stressful than making payments on something hanging over your heads that's only just costing you more money in interest every month.

But I also have huge issues with spending and can make myself just sick over buying anything, so I might be a bit more excessive than some! LOL.

Kerri

[QUOTE=Kerri;2508430
But I also have huge issues with spending and can make myself just sick over buying anything, so I might be a bit more excessive than some! LOL.

Kerri[/QUOTE]

I am much the same way. DH, not so much...

Well, I can tell you: DH gets the "I wannas" sometimes. And I point out that the house needs maintaining. And we spend it all, plus some. :p

Hence, the budgeting. Because as long as what needs to go into savings and emergency planning (because emergencies will always happen, right?), I'm sure we can find a middle ground where he gets some "stuff" and I get peace of mind.

This is realistically what we do in our lives. I would like to say that we put every little penny on debt, but that is rare. When we have a big chunk we put it on debt, but when we are just getting a little bit and there are things to be done Don and I make a list. And then we look at the debt. If we can make a real dent, we do. Because that feels good. If it looks like it will just hold us over, or we will spend it in a month or whatever on piddly little crap like eating out or things we don't need... I would rather have a large purchase paid for than put it on credit later when we actually need it.

Like when Don first gets his raise, it will be put on credit starting in July, but first, we are going to get a grill, and pay for his graduation party. WITHOUT credit. After that though, it is all going to pay for debt. $350 at a time. ;)

Dh has the "wannas" too... have I ever mentioned our tv? Did I tell you about keeping the car? Yeah.... dh gets wannas. In fact, I feel that some wannas are important. What is the point of having $10K in the bank if you don't have a bed to sleep on that is comfortable... or entertainment that you enjoy? Wannas can be important. If I could just adjust this to work in MY favor (like letting myself have a wanna or two) than I think life would be good.

If I could just adjust this to work in MY favor (like letting myself have a wanna or two) than I think life would be good.

I hear ya...I suspect this is where your post about getting the short end of the stick came from? If DH wants something, he goes out and gets it, pretty much. I have been without a sewing machine for 2 years. And there are things I have wanted a machine for, but, every so often, I look at machines, I think I've found what I want, but I put it off some more because I'm afraid I'll spend that money and then I won't be using the machine, and I've wasted the money somehow (never mind that I would use it at some point). I would have used it to make Christmas gifts, which would have possibly saved some money, or, at the least, made it easier to give the kinds of gifts I would prefer to give. I am nearly to the point that I am going to buy it, but why should it take me over 2 years to reach that point?

Most of my wannas involve household things, and I tend to possibly overthink them. Unless it involves food, maybe ;)

Thank you for the advice, Mamas. I'm going to get DH to make up a list with me ASAP and work up a budget again.

Something that you could do too is make a list of intrest rates that you are paying or just add up your intrest rate that you pay each month and see what you are just throwing away. If you didn't have to pay that intrest rate how much would you have? What could you do with that each month? Good luck.

We have very similar issues here. Dh has come a long way in the past year or two, but he gets the "I wannas" bad (and so do I at times, and we also feed each other because if he wants something, I immediately think of the thing I've been waiting for and want that too!).

We have done a lot of sitting together with the laptop and crunching the numbers in Excel. We are still pinging around various ideas to get our needs *and* wants met with regard to the land/house work that needs to get done, the car switcheroo since the truck I am driving is falling apart, etc etc. We have sat down and looked at how each decision will impact the monthly budget, where we can cut to make it all work, how we can play with the tax return to get the needs/wants met - including debt payoff.

And yes, as JoDee said, looking at the amount of interest we pay every month on our debt - well, that helps sober the discussion! It makes it real. I think for dh, since I do the finances, none of it seems particularly real. I sat down with the zero budget with him and showed him how right now we are negative $800 each month. He gets frustrated and depressed. I understand that, but we need to put our heads together and get creative about solving the problem, yk? Anyway...my point being that sitting down with dh and showing him the numbers has helped his outlook on spending money, a lot.

(And LOL because let me tell you my dh's wants in the past two years, some of which we've gotten and some of which we haven't:
*big ol' flat screen tv (have not gotten!!! but he wants it BAD right now)
*tractor :rolleyes:
*kayak (he bought last year)
*canoe (bought used last year)
*boutique harmonica amp (nope)
*telescope (Santa brought :P)

I think that is it...LOL. Oh! Another idea I had for you. You mentioned selling the old mtn bike and putting that $ toward the new one. What about the boat? Can he sell it? Anything else he has bought and not used often, how about listing it on craigslist or ebay? This is the approach I have taken with dh. I have used it for my own wants for most of the stuff I get. I have to sell something else I'm not using (fabric, snap press, etc, in my case!) for something I do want and feel I will use. I mean, I think that indulging wants is important...but for some of the more frivolous stuff, esp if you tend to buy and then it just sits, it makes sense to force yourself to face up to the fact that you bought something you never use, LOL, and then get rid of it and liquidate a bit of cash. ;) It feels really good!!

We've also done the traditional "wants" list and posted it. Then, we go from that list to determine if we still want it if we have a windfall.

We don't have debt now except the house and I still have to temper the "I wants". There are a whole lot of things I would like very much. :)