I am really not sure what I am asking for with this one... It is a fully personal choice. Perhaps just some other views?

My dad is wanting to rent his house. It is another 30 miles south, but it is an easy drive (very rarely any traffic, through country, not cities) But he is wanting to rent it for $260 less than we are paying now (he just wants to cover the morgage he has had to take out becuase the divorce). This is like an end of the summer thing. Not now... so Don would only be commuting 1 hour (from dad's house) and out of academy, so he would also get the raise already.

What's worth it?? Becuase the only trouble I have with the sacrifices we would make for this plan is the kids school. I/they have worked so hard, and now love the school they are in. Alex has switched schools a bunch already and this year he is doing the best he has ever done. We had planned on being here at least through the next year so Alex could finish elemetary here. (One more year. Jr High starts 7th grade here.)

But we would be able to throw even more on debt.

But we would be relocating our family to a place I said I would never live again, surrounded by more closed minded folk. Not bad folk, just very different and unaccepting.

Honestly, it would be 100% worth it, if it wasn't for my children being in school. It really would. Becuase that would mean that we could be out of consumer debt in as little as a year. But what is worth it?

Gosh darnit. I am so ready to throw everything we can on debt... but it just isn't that much and I know my stamina... it isn't that good right now. I am tired and strung out. I have had two peroids in two weeks. I am hormonal and really wanting to get stuff cleaned and ready for summer. And that is RIGHT NOW. In a year? Who knows? I know I shouldn't give up before I start, but it seems so impossible.

Ugh... another whine from me. Sorry. I am just so tired....

Val

What does Don think? Would the commute make the gas price alot more? If it's just about money, and you're happy where you are (garden, schools, feeling settled, etc.) I might just stay another year and see if you can rent it after that? But make your decision and then see how you feel. It's a tough decision, and it would be easy to just use that extra money each month and NOT make a big debt dent. But if you know you (and Don!) will be disciplined and put that money to good use, then it might be worth doing.

So basically, I have no real guidance to offer, but spent 10 minutes doing it anyway! LOL.

Kerri

Lol... Thanks. I don't know. I just really don't. The commute feels worth it (esp if we can sell the Escape and get a car that gets super duper gas milage) but the schools dont. The garden down there is mine anyway.. has been for years. The trees; he has three apples, a cherry, two kinds of plums. It is my parents house... you know? I know all the quirks, I lived there for 5 years before I moved out, and then again for a while when I had Alex (about 8 mos). Every year I have been the one to take care of the gardens etc. I know the house and the land. I also know the schools. They are not terrible, pretty on par with where the kids are now... it is just that they would have to switch... again.

I'd do it, but we homeschool. That's a big chunk each month, and it would be nice to be in a family-owned property. If the current owners you are renting from decided they didn't want to renew or wanted to sell, they could do so at the end of your lease and it would be harder to switch once he's in junior high or highschool, I'd think. :hug:

Moneywise, it seems like a good move. But is your dad who you were having a lot of trouble with in the past? It seems like at some point you were having a lot of family strife with someone. If it was him, I would be wary of renting from him. And if I am confusing you with someone else, I apologize!

I agree with that... although we know the owners really well and they LOVE us... really. She told me last time we dropped off rent: "I was just talking to Roger about how lucky I am to have such wonderful renters... and here you are!" lol... If she was to sell she would offer it to us first. So I am not to worried about that.

Dad lives across the street from the local ele. (Alex would be in the middle school down there next year. That is something that I have thought about too... it wouldn't be near as hard because there are 4 districts going into that middle school. So quite a few kids would be "new" you know?)

The gas thing is another question. If the prices go up like they are supposed to, then it would take a huge chunk out of what we are wanting to put back. And all my friends are here or north too... that would be hard.

Just thinking outloud now.

Moneywise, it seems like a good move. But is your dad who you were having a lot of trouble with in the past? It seems like at some point you were having a lot of family strife with someone. If it was him, I would be wary of renting from him. And if I am confusing you with someone else, I apologize!


Not wrong person... Wrong dad. Lol... this dad is my step dad, who just divorced my mom. He has been with my mom since I was 9 mos old... so really he is the one who raised me. And he is wonderful. I am not concerned about any of that.

Not wrong person... Wrong dad. Lol... this dad is my step dad, who just divorced my mom. He has been with my mom since I was 9 mos old... so really he is the one who raised me. And he is wonderful. I am not concerned about any of that.

Ok, good to hear! :) Have you asked Alex what he thinks about switching schools? If it's not a big deal for him, I would seriously consider the move.

IBut we would be relocating our family to a place I said I would never live again, surrounded by more closed minded folk. Not bad folk, just very different and unaccepting.


and Don would be gone for an hour more a day.

and you would be further away from friends.

I wouldn't do it. NO way, no how. its too far away under too stressful circumstances. The money you would be saving would be spent in traveling to see friends, extra gas for Don (even with a commuter car) fast food for him, etc.

Its totally not worth it. Its an hour out of Dons life with you and the family.

hope that isnt too much "guilt" talking... I just know how close your family is, and losing him for an extra hour a day seems unreasonable, especially with uprooting your chidlren from their friends and school... ask me how I know this sucks ;)

wow, you know, paying off debt is important, but it isn't more important than living your life. i know, we get into this mode of needing to get it done as quickly as possible, but the reality of it is, you need to be LIVING your life. I think you should stay on your current track. yeah, it might take a little longer but ok.

I am slowly coming to that conclusion myself. It is true that the commute would be bad for Don. We are looking at it from being forced to have a WORSE commute. Once he gets back to Tacoma (only 5 wks now) he will only be working 1/2 hr away. And only 4 days a week (10 hr shifts). Our lives can get back to being more normal again. And I am thinking of giving that up for debt? Ugh... as much as I hate debt... like PP said, I like living. I just have been living without my dh for SO long now that it feels like a good choice... but I think it would just be prolonging the crappy part of our lives.... instead of moving ahead (albeit slowly) with the part we could love. You know?

I am just ready to get out from under it... and we are not even to a point where we can get ahead for another month. lol... I am just ready to be out from under this.

It feels so huge. And now that I feel like we COULD get something done, I want to do it before my dh starts to do his typical buy buy buy thing again. I hope this reality check sticks with us... but if it doesn't... I know I don't have the willpower to stop it right now. Perhaps by the time he looses his willpower, I will gain mine back? Along with my sanity? Perhaps?

I do love my tiny house. It is set up well and has a great yard and I love my neighbors etc. I don't know. Debt feels so all consuming when it has just been going up for his job.

well, you're happy where you are and so are the kids.. moving would be a longer commute, more gas money and realistically how much would you save to uproot your family and move further from your friends? How often would you go see them (thus adding more in gas) and what about the super cheap grocery outlets and such.. you'd either pay more or spend more on gas..

I'm not sure you'd be saving anything..

The close-minded thing got me. We live in that place now. I hate it. I miss Cali. Never thought I'd say that. Some days, when hearing the prejudice comments or while smelling the plastic burning in the burn barrels all I can think is: I WANT TO GO HOME!

DH commutes 50min each way right now and hates it. It's two hours of his day that he feels could be better spent.

Yeah...I think you have too much going on, and too much going for you, where you are now to make it worth saving what would amount to maybe $50-100 a month (once you count commuting costs). The cost of Don gone that long every day, plus the stress on the kids of moving and changing schools - not worth what amounts to a small saving IMO.

MOving is really expensive, it takes alot to get a house set up and the way you need it to be - so, if you are enticed by the savings you would feel NOW, it would take a good few months after the move to get on track and get the budget back under control.

As far as the closed minded thing - are you making that call from an adult perspective or how you remember it as a child?? You might find living there as a mam to be more enjoyable than you remember it being.

I do think, since you are in a very worn out phase in life, taking into account what would have your dh home more often and where you could get the most support would be on the top of the list. It is not going to be good for anyone if mama craters from lack of support.

As far as the closed minded thing - are you making that call from an adult perspective or how you remember it as a child?? You might find living there as a mam to be more enjoyable than you remember it being.

It is true that I could find a nitche there, but it would be hard. It is a predomently red neck community and I live in a VERY liberal area (like people call this area "so far left it has fallen off" or "10 sq miles surrounded by reality". lol!) I found a nitche before. I do have friends that are still there (like minded friends) but when you talk about things like homebirthing, extended breastfeeding, veggitarianism (which I am no longer, but that was a huge deal when I was down there), you either get skeptics that believe they can "convince you to the better way" or you get people who think you are outright nuts and diserve pity. This isn't even close to a exageration. Unfortunetly. And I have lived there as an adult. I only moved up here 5 years ago now.

But, all that aside. They are good people. Nice people... just close minded people. There is nothing there I can't handle now that I have made my life and know what I want. As a kid and a young mother, these ideals and attitudes used to hurt me. They wouldn't and don't anymore.

And aside from all that, even if it was just me being young and easily damaged... why put my children in that? You know?

Anyway... the more I think about it, the more I think it wouldn't save us much. I would want to move back north as soon as I could. And I doubt it would be worth the trouble.

It sounds like you've almost decided to stay put. I think I would if I were you, mostly for the sake of your kids. I think finding a school you love is hard to find these days and that would be the most important thing for me.

Don't move, Val. :hug: (I would say more, but I think that Selena said it quite nicely! ;) )

I swear I posted here before...
What I said was...I would refrain from making any decisions until Don is home and your life resumes a new normal. With all that has gone on for the last 3-4 mos., Mama, there probably hasn't even been time for you to feel like you've reached a "normal" with the new baby (I assume that based upon my own experience; perhaps, I am mistaken). You may find that once Don is home and everyone gets settled in, that debt won't be weighing quite as heavily. At least not heavily enough to justify such a move.

Oh, and maybe in the meantime, those cycles will regulate, and that will help some too. :heart: