One more day and then I have a weekend to regroup.

Today was a long day. I was up at 5:45 to be at training at 8 in tempe. Training 8-12, 1-5, traffic on the way home. Tom had already fed the little ones, so he and chels and I ate.
Then I made the beds, rotated the clothing, worked out.
Yesterday I got home from work and had to take the girls to awana, go to the grocery store - dh picked them up so I could work out.
not enough hours in the day this way kwim?

I need to take a lunch, but the office is always moving so I eat at my desk and work thru - not like I can leave early tho for doing that. I'm not going to go out for an hour, where would I go? By myself? I'm not going to go find a park (in that area of town lol) and sit by myself and read or something. Its really not a fabulous area for walking outside unless I got someone to go with and I really don't know anyone yet. So I'm not taking lunch at all (and I think I'need that break)
I'm going to wait a week and then ask if I can use the conference room for 30 minutes -bring the portable dvd player and work out in there.

I really like the job. I'm good at it. I remember it. It all came back quickly and I know what I'm doing. The training part sucks nad its like 3x week for the next four weeks. I love being at the clinic, I hate driving 45 min-hour to the training facility and spending all day sitting listening to the lectures. I never did like school tho. Even when its great information its like I'm overloaded. And most of it is review for me. I did this for many many years. I want to get back to doing it, not talking about it. Impatient, I know.

I like getting dressed up lol - that part is fun. I like adult conversation and using my brain. I like that my creativity has been sparked again.

I miss my kids. Alot. I get home, eat, play with them, workout and then its bedtime. I get home around 5:20 on regular days, 5:45 on training days. So after we eat and play a bit , hear about their days, read some books or play a board game - then its 7:30 = bath for them while I workout (dh helps them) by 8:15 its jammies and teeth brushing and bed. Its 9pm and hte night got away with me. Roman won't go to sleep , he's watching a movie on the couch and I'm letting him so I can be on here for a bit and gather my thoughts.

my family IS stepping up to help. Chels has been helping with dinner and straightening up. Dh is going into work late, leaving early - working a side job 2 nights a week and weekends. Once I actually get my first paycheck he can stop the second job, but right now no money is coming in at all - we have $100 to last us til the 2nd.

So its just about transition. Adjusting. I know that. My body isn't used to going nonstop for 12 hours a day lol. then coming home and being the mama.
I know I'll figure it out, but tho there have been good things and excitement and pride - theres also been anxiety and guilt.

Its hard. We'll settle into it right? I'll find the balance soon. Probably when this training stuff ends

thanks for letting me ramble

Hang in there. Friday nights are wonderful :) No lunches to make. No ironing. No setting the clock. Kids can go to bed a bit later. Dishes can even :drop: stay in the sink because you have saturday morning.

You will soon find your rhythm. It's a huge transition. :hug: Enjoy the weekend! Let the house slide as much as you can...being with family is what's important. I know you know that, but I always (personally) find it helpful to get that validated. :)

I'm sure that you'll get more used to it, but I don't know if things will get easier. I think it's hard to get home after work, and get things done, sometimes I feel like I never see my kid. Getting you work out in during the day seems like a great idea, is there a curves or something nearby, that way you could get out of the office and workout on your lunchbreak. I think it would make your day go by much faster if you take that break, you will need it. Glad you are enjoying the job! It is nice to be with grown-ups!

you will get into a rhythm, it will get better and easier for the most part. Missing the kids is never easy.

:big hug:

I know. It IS hard. It's a different hard than SAHMing (which IS hard) and seems hardER now because you are not used to it. Just like others said, you will get in your groove.

It might become gradually hardER at first, but then it will level out.

Running/walking/working out during lunch is a great idea. Can you get a portable CD player and a set of earphones?

I know working out during lunch helps me keep my sanity. I eat in the car :o

Like what everyone else said: it'll get easier - especially once training is over. I always find training to be uterly exhausting.

Okay, I'm guessing you'll probably say "no way," but you might want to consider a few things:

1. hire a housekeeper to come in twice a month. I know many will say that it just cannot happen, but I would do everything possible to see if it could.

2. can the beds just not get made? :lol:

3. do a load of laundry every night

Also, tell me a bit more about what you do - I know it is mental health and that you are a caseworker (?) What is the population? Is it seriously and persistently mentally ill? I'm pulling this out of the air, but somehow it is what I'm recalling. Day treatment? Will you be doing psychosocial groups (vs. therapeutic group)? If so, you could consider leading a "fitness group." it won't be the workout of your dreams if they are SPMI, but it could be something that would benefit both you and them.

Or you could go for walks with your clients - again, it would benefit you and them (not the walk you'd go for on your own, but better than nothing).

Finally, is there a gym at all nearby or does your agency subsidize a nearby gym. Many do.

It took me a couple months after jumping to FT to feel normal again. At first I was spending my days off in a daze, just trying to recover my mind. You'll hit your stride soon!

It's weird going into the working world, isn't it? The trade offs sometimes bug me, but it's worth it! Hang in there Barb, we're here for you!

1. hire a housekeeper to come in twice a month. I know many will say that it just cannot happen, but I would do everything possible to see if it could.
Its a lovely thought but we're in debt up to our eyeballs and 50% of my new income needs to go to pay down debt. new expenses are not in the budget. period. lol. I have a teen, myself and dh - we just need to get it done

2. can the beds just not get made? :lol:
Of course, but that just bugs me. Makes me feel like my house is completely out of control if the beds aren't made every day.

3. do a load of laundry every night
Thats in the plan. Chelsey is actually doing her own laundry (first time ever lol) tonight. I'm going to try to keep up with 1 load every evening.

Also, tell me a bit more about what you do - I know it is mental health and that you are a caseworker (?) What is the population? Is it seriously and persistently mentally ill? I'm actually a Clinical Liason, a step above the case manager. The way the clinic is going, I'm guessing in 6 months I'll apply for promotion (that is when you're allowed to do so) and be the Clinical Coordinator (supervisor). That is waht I was doing when I left the system. Currently there are 3 CC's at our site and 1 (mine) is um..not so fabulous and probably on her way out in the next few months.

The population is SMI - seriously mentally ill adults.

I won't be leading groups at all - our RN's and therapists do that.l I'll carry a smaller caseload so I can assist the Clinical Coordinator with the supervision of the case management teams.

I did talk to my CC today about my weight loss, Leslie Sansone etc and asked if I could use the conference room and my portable dvd player during lunch hour to work out. Not only did she give the ok, but she and the office manager both want to join me. We'll start on Monday :)

How are you doing Barb? Enjoying your friday night I hope:)

yah, I'm actually on for a bit while the kids are watching Alice in Wonderland. Roman puked after school - so I'm guessing my weekend will be spent dealing with the pukies. thats a bummer. When I got home I laid on the couch with him for an hour and we both took a nap before dinner lol

Going to workout in a bit while dh gives them a bath and then snuggle some more with them.

Tomorrow I"m out of here early for a dentist appt and errands and then I'm in the house with them all day - will be nice to relax. Then Sunday I'm hoping roman will be well enough for church, its been 3 weeks now :(

anyway, thanks for asking. Am hanging in there. Its all hard, and weird, but we'll get our groove and it'll be ok

(((HUGS BARB)))

I've been thinking about you. I just know I am not far behind you, so I am watching carefully!