I grew up going to an Open Bible church, never "felt" anything, but I was into the whole singing, church camp, stuff. Never baptized (maybe blessed when I was very tiny, like 2 or 3).

Stopped going to church when I got married at 17. Didn't go back until I think May of this year, we went steadily to an Episcopal church for a couple of months, it was okay.

But I really don't 100% know what I believe. Then summer came and we got busy and stopped going, and it's just gone on longer since we've had a lot of overnight guests on the weekends, and well, it's been a few months.

Yesterday the pastor called me, asked how we were, they miss us, etc. So I told him my excuses (hey, they're not bad ones,lol). Then last night I told dh we should go to church on Sunday.

Today I changed my mind. I felt guilted into going. Like, we said we wanted to join the church, we have our picture in the church directory, we should be going, we committed, how can we just quit.

But do I feel spiritually connected to what's being said? Not exaclty. Do I feel like I belong? Not exactly. I felt connected to my Opa being there, because he is an Episcopalian minister and I miss him (he's in FLA).
And I don't have an answer, and I never felt anything when I prayed, never felt love or a presence, or being protected, or got an answer or anything. I'm sure people can relate, please speak up, then I won't feel so mean/soul-less!

I don't have a lot of time. But 2 things quickly--first, you do NOT have to be 100% spiritually committed to attend church. Not at all. Don't feel like you have to fake it, or that you can only go to church if you are a certain way. Second--talk to the pastor! He's contacted you, he sounds like he cares. Lay it out for him, like you just did. He (if he's anything like my DH, at least ;) ) will be able to help you see what your questions are, and point you in the right direction to studying/learning more. Sometimes that's good discussion, sometimes it's reading a book, etc.

First of all, it's not "mean" to not want to go to church or like going to church.

Second, why do you feel you need to feel spiritual or feel anything when you pray?

FWIW, I never felt anything when I prayed, either. However, I am an extremely spiritual person. What helped me realize that I'm very spiritual is that I started listening to my inner voices and going with my gut feelings on things. I read a lot of things that helped me figure out what I'm *not*.

This is your life. You don't have to believe in anything you don't want to believe in. Maybe you're a humanist. I don't know. I know that I now dabble in a religion (though I do not embrace it) that suits me every now and then. I'm not 100% into it, but that's okay. I take what I like and leave the rest. I'm very ecclectic that way.

I am protected and I know I am, but I don't necessarily *feel* it. I got my knowledge verified by a friend who can see energy around a person, but *shrug*. It was no big deal.

I think if you don't feel you need religion, that's good. It means you aren't letting fear guide your life. We need more ppl like that on this planet, IMO. Good luck!

I'm with you. Right now I'm "searching" for where I belong. I did take the girls back to church a couple of weeks ago. I like the fellowship and I do believe in God, I think. Not 100% sure about Jesus and the Bible, but I guess I won't know what I believe unless I investigate:) Good luck!!

I think if you don't feel you need religion, that's good. It means you aren't letting fear guide your life. We need more ppl like that on this planet, IMO. Good luck!

That's not a very tolerant statement, you know, nor is it accurate. If she feels she doesn't need religion, or you feel you don't need religion--hey, your choice. But to imply that I am letting fear guide my life? Hardly.

I think it is very hard for me to *not* feel like I need it, since I grew up with it. I think I want the fellowship, something to belong to as a group (but not a cult,lol). There has to be SOMETHING. And I believe the bible is a nice story book, Jesus was a person, and here's some stories people wrote about him, kind of like a giant game of telephone.

Thanks you guys for trying to help. {{hugs}}

That's not a very tolerant statement, you know, nor is it accurate. If she feels she doesn't need religion, or you feel you don't need religion--hey, your choice. But to imply that I am letting fear guide my life? Hardly.
I agree, Heather. Religion isn't about fear for the majority of believers.


To the OP. I've been in your shoes. And you probably ought to be 100% honest with your pastor. He might be able to make you feel better. ~or~ He can tell you if what you believe doesn't mesh well with an Episcopal church. In that case, then you can search out another chuch to go to. There are lots of Christian denominations that believe decidedly different things about God, life, the universe, and salvation (or lack thereof).

We haven't been attending church in the last few years, for lots of reasons, not the least of which are my "issues" with certain basics of Christianity. But we are going to start up again in the very near future, as I feel it is important for my kids to be raised in a community of caring and good people. I think a religious congregation is the best place to find that.

There has to be SOMETHING. And I believe the bible is a nice story book, Jesus was a person, and here's some stories people wrote about him, kind of like a giant game of telephone.

Hey-- we have very similar belifs, lol. ;)

You're not alone. Lots of people are searching. Me included. We are trying out Unity for the third Sunday tomorrow. It is a big church -- and while I think I'd prefer small, being big there are lots of programs and a classrooms for children for each grade or two. The children have LOVED "church school." We like the basic tennets and some parts of the service. From reading here, I wonder how many people/families find a perfect match.

I think it is very hard for me to *not* feel like I need it, since I grew up with it. I think I want the fellowship, something to belong to as a group (but not a cult,lol). I believe in something, God or something. There has to be SOMETHING. And I believe the bible is a nice story book, Jesus was a person, and here's some stories people wrote about him, kind of like a giant game of telephone.

Thanks you guys for trying to help. {{hugs}}


You've summed up my thoughts exactly! If you do find something that you like, would you mind sharing what it is?

Have you ever done the belief-o-matic quiz at beliefnet.com? I do it every few months as my feelings about things change and it's really interesting. According to that, I'm a liberal Christian. Which I guess could be true. But anyway, it's worth spending 5 minutes on: Belief-O-Matic -- A personality quiz about your religious beliefs and spiritual beliefs - a quiz answering What Religion Am I -- Beliefnet.com (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html)

Kerri

I've taken that and other tests, many times. The answers are slightly different every time.

Right now, I am thinking of going to the Episcopal church for the time being and seeing how I feel.

I've tried them all! (not literally, but almost) Boy, have I been seeking and searching and practicing and "trying on" various religions for the past many years.

I finally gave up on finding a "group" and did my own thing and was led by God to read the Bible by myself...which I did and found things that totally clashed with what my former religion told me. I read and read and realized that the Bible was my "religion" and my home. (Jesus/God of the Bible)

So, I ended up in the most unexpected place! *lol* Happy and know I'm where God wants me to be.

I guess I'm sharing this to encourage you to never give up...I know God does not give up.

Oh, my husband is agnostic but actually chose the church we are attending. (long story) He is investigating Christianity due to the radical changes he sees in my life and the peace, happiness, and freedom I now have that I have never had before. So...who knows what will happen with my dh?!?

Michelle

We went to church yesterday. It was fine, older ds had fun in sunday school. I feel at peace with it, I felt comfortable there. We decided to continue to go to the Episcopal church. Dh agrees.

There are times when we just question everything we're doing in the world, if we're doing it right, if it feels right, if we *know* it's right. We fall out of what we're trying to do, and then find our way back, and it has to be in our own time, and the right time. I think we'll start to settle in this time.

We went to church yesterday. It was fine, older ds had fun in sunday school. I feel at peace with it, I felt comfortable there. We decided to continue to go to the Episcopal church. Dh agrees.

There are times when we just question everything we're doing in the world, if we're doing it right, if it feels right, if we *know* it's right. We fall out of what we're trying to do, and then find our way back, and it has to be in our own time, and the right time. I think we'll start to settle in this time.

That is good to hear. Episcopal is where I first tested the Christain waters. :) I do like that denomination.

I think we all question things at times, and I know that I personally don't rely on my feelings as they are a quick to change as the weather! Questioning IMHO is good because it causes us to reach and grow and also causes those around us (who we may direct our questions to) to grow too!

Michelle

I am feeling a lot better now. I freaked out there for a bit, now I feel sort of silly, but I guess that's part of it, and it would be worse for me to do something blindly without thinking about it. :)

I'm glad you found something that you enjoy!

To the OP, I just wanted to say that I grew up Open Bible too! I have not come across too many people who have even heard of them before!
I am glad you are finding some comfort.
IT is okay to seek and question and stretch and wonder, I think God wants us to explore Him and our relationship with Him and findout who He is and wants to be and do in our lives, based on OUR seeking HIM, not just following whatever we have been told by whomever.

I have had many 'feelings' on my spiritual walk, but I do not think that feeling anything is an indicator of the presence or realness of God kwim? He is near, because He said he would be, He cares because that is who he is.

I definitely think being raised in the church environmnent that I was had a LOT do with me leaving church completely and "de-toxing" for 6.5 years. It was pushed so, so hard, and so loud and obnoxious and so the opposite of how I feel it should be for me and my family, which is peaceful. So the tradition and tranquility of the Episcopal church is nice.

Yeah, my parents are really mellow, even keeled folks who just love the Lord and want to serve God, but growing up I remember all kinds of crazy happening and people just proclaiming so loudly things they could not back up with their actions. It took me a while to walk through it all too.
My faith is grounded, but I am cautious yk, about what people do in God's name.
The church we go to now is still very similar in basic beleifs, but definitely mellow. I do not know what your experiences were, but I think in general, anyone who was raised in a charismatic church environment in the 70's or 80's, it was kind of wild, and a lot of things that you don't see os much now in those same churches, just people have gained a bit more knowledge and matured about things.
I don't know if that statement makes sense to anyone but me, lol.