Your oldest boy has a significant preference for one twin? My four year old clearly favors my little girl baby, to the point where he doesn't like the boy baby to touch him. Does this go away? Are there particular things I can do to reduce this? It's starting to depress me, and I don't want to establish habits when the twins are only four months old! Any advice would be welcome.

Stacy

I just saw your post now. I've been there. My twins were born two days after my then youngest turned 4. I've really been there. Rashi (who was 4) only liked the 'boy baby'. He would pitch a fit in the car every single time we had to go someplace - unless he got to sit behind the 'boy baby'. "I don't like girl babies" he would tell us. We just smiled gently (tried not to laugh out loud) and told him that both babies were nice and the girl babies were just as good as boy babies and that he would sit where his car seat was (which must have been behind the 'girl baby'). Over time, he quit talking about it and seems to treat them equally (badly or well). He's 5 now and they are just over a year and I never ever hear that he likes Gedalya better than Tehila - although, could be - he has done some not nice things to her lately...hmmm.
Seriously, it's a stage; you've had major changes and that takes time for a four year old. It'll be okay.

In the meantime, my neighbor girls all like Gedalya more than Tehila because he's a people person and she's slow to warm up. I'd like to even that out, but when they come to play with the babies or take them I can't dictate too much - I do try to see that Tehila gets equal time.

Thank you! You've made me feel much better! I know intellectually that kids grow and change, but it's hard to remember to be patient.

Funny, but I have the same problem as you with people outside the family preferring one twin over the other (already!) but in reverse. My friends' older children just love my girl, Moia, because she gives gigantic happy smiles to anyone who gives her attention. Quinn is far more sparing with his smiles, and tends to fuss more as well, so they tend to not give him as much attention. Four months old, and negative comparisons are starting already! :tear:

Yep, people gravitate toward Gedalya because he is very people oriented and needs to be held all of the time - so that works for him.
Tehila is much more reserved and quite happy on her own; slow to warm up to others.

My 3 year old doens't like Glory. He is intentionally mean to here. On the other hand, he calls Aaron his baby. I don't know....we are just trying to give him more attention and enourage him to love on both of them.

how old are your babies?

how old are your babies?
They just turned 1 last month.

Hi, I actually read that on the other thread in this forum - just not in time :). What is their birthdate? My babies were a year on Sept. 1st.

Oct. 20th

I really enjoy talking to other moms of twins. People tell me alot thaat they have twins because they have 2 close in age but only other multiple moms know what it is like to have 2 or more in ther exact same stage at the same time!!

now that's a great day! it's my dad's b-day.

So true. I hate it when people tell me that they have twins - and then they say well, they're 15 months apart.

Hey ladies!!

I've had others, including siblings & other family members prefer one twin over the other. AND THEY ARE IDENTICAL!! It would go back & forth which preferred which baby. Seems everyone, even strangers prefers the one who happens to be "friendlier". Then one was pudgier than the other & she seemed to be the one that was preferred by strangers as a baby. Now strangers prefer the slimmer one, who looks like a pixie or a fairy as she has finer features (They had TTTS so one is bigger boned than the other, including facial features).

Ah yes, it drives me nuts when people say it was "like having twins" when their kids were close together. Some of my other kids were close together and in NO WAY was it like having twins, not now that I have the true twin comparison. Twice actually as I had foster twin babies for almost a year as well.

I've even had day-care children within weeks of age of my own & had them 10 hours a day & still it wasn't like the experience with my twins.

I've even fostered kids the same age as my own. At one point I had two 5 year olds (my twins), two 2 year olds(my son & foster son) and two 1 year olds (foster twins), plus the older 4 kids. And it was still nothing like the first few months with my own twins!!

You'll see the ages of kids I have now in my sig line. But still it is not as hard as it was with my own twins.SERIOUSLY!!

Kerri, mom to Amanda(16), Emma(14), Maddison(12), T(11 foster dd), A (10 foster ds), Jonah(9 will be 10 in a couple of weeks), Saige & Claire (6, id twin girls), M(6, foster dd), S(4, foster ds) & last but not least, Teagan(3). Little girl and boy I sometimes babysit for are 6 and 2. First comment my twins say about M(foster dd)..."Hey mom, now you will have triplets!!"

I usuall politely tell people that the biggest difference is between twins and siblings close in age is that you have 2 totally helpless newborns dpendent on you for everything. Neither one is able to do anything, They usually smile and say that is true. I'm not sure if they get it but oh well!