What do you do?

Henry is 5 and loves being around other children. He wants to go to school.:sob:

I am torn as what to do.

I don't think he's delayed, but he struggles with writing his name. I am wondering if I should have him assessed by a teacher just so I know what I should be focusing on this year but then I think: he's 5! We should be doing phonics, counting to 100, playing and having fun!

It's all day K here, which I don't agree with. I think it would be 8:30-2:30.

DH thinks I should put him in school; he'd be so happy there. Putting him in school is also easier than HS.

I want to preserve my DS's innocence and sweetness as long as possible! Not shield him from the world, but let him be a kid as long as he's supposed to, kwim?

TIA!

I know exactly what you mean. I have no advice except to tell you what we did. I kept Grady home last year for K and this year he will be going to PS for first grade. He wants to try it and I want to let him. I have mixed feelings about this. He's so sweet and I don't want school to turn him, but I hope that our influence will mean something to him. He knows what we believe and he knows right from wrong. I just have to trust that and let him try it.

Like you, I think all day K is too much, especially for boys. That's one big reason we kept him home. He enjoyed playing and learning. He really seems to want other kids around him all the time now so PS will help that. Do what your heart wants. I know that's hard to figure out, best of luck :)

I am a big believer in looking at each child's individual needs. Of course you can't bend to a child's every whim or abandon your family values and philosophies, but I would have a conversation with dh with a very open mind and make a joint decision from there. You may remember that I homeschool my 8 yo, my 6 yo with special needs in in the PS system (and LOVES it and is going great) and my 3 yo is in a Montessori preschool. DH's and my philosophy has evolved to "one year at a time" and "what each child needs."
I also don't think your decision is final. You can try either hs'g or ps'g -- and switch if you need to.

What do you do?

It's all day K here, which I don't agree with. I think it would be 8:30-2:30.



Oh, my 6 yo (a boy) has been in school whole days since he was 4. It was right for him. When he graduated from the autism program this spring after 3 years there, his teachers and I were all crying because it had been such a great experience and he's come so far. I'm just adding this because our preconcieved notions do not always meet reality. His program also goes summers, but I always kept him home so that he could have plenty of all-day play time, swimming, etc. (Just so it doesn't seem like I was trying to get rid of my child as much as possible.:rolleyes: )

I think you have to make your decision on your own personal feelings and values and each individual child. My oldest didnt want to be homeschooled originally but by 4th grade i noticed a attitude change that i didnt agree with and i ended up pulling her out of PS because of it, after a year she was back to the values etc that i knew she had but because of other children was forgetting and i let her go back to PS with the understanding that if she started showing the disrespect and attitude she was showing before id pull her again. She went to PS for 5th and 6th and did wonderful not only attitude wise but also because sadly everything she was learning was stuff id taught her in 4th already so her classes were real easy for her but this year she decided she was tired of all the crud at PS and wanted to be homeschooled again because she learned more and she likes a challenge.

Ive homeschooled BreAnne my 2nd oldest since 3rd grade, she is in 6th now, Mikaela will be homeschooled this year for the first time in 3rd grade and Tyler is starting off homeschooling in Kindergarten, BUT if my kids voice that they want to go back to PS i will consider it because i only want my kids here if they want to be.

Socially as a homeschooled child I think we as parents need to make sure they have outside of the house interests, i.e. katie wants to do karate and learn to play the guitar and BreAnne will join the soccer team, that way they get the benifit of homeschooling but also have the chance to be around kids their own age. Socialization is just as important as book smarts at least thats what i feel.

Listen to your heart and your kids feelings and you wont go wrong most of the time.

I could have posted your question myself...

My 5 yo wants to go to school this year for Kindergarden. I always thought we would unschool.

It is so hard to make these decisions for our children. I think others have said what I would too. Listen to each childs individual needs and then decide. I think we will end up sending our ds to school this year and will see how it goes. We will pull him out if we feel like any negative influences are overwhelming to our overall values and beliefs as a family. It is so hard to let our children go and feel the effects of others.

Hang in there mama!

Kids want lots of things that aren't the best for them (to eat ice cream for lunch and dinner, to drink soda instead of water, to wear shorts in the middle of the winter, etc...). Sometimes it's best to let them know that you are making the best choice for them, even though it doesn't seem the best choice to them.

I also think kids get an inflated idea of what school really is like, which is why they think they want to go. All their peers talk about it and may go to it, strange adults ask them about it, it makes sense they would start to wonder what school is really like and think it must be better.

I would really stress to my child some of the realities of going to school. Help them understand what, in their head they can't see. That they will be there for most of the day away from their mom and siblings, that they will have homework to do when they come home, that they will have to go to bed early at night so they can get up the next morning, that they may get picked on by other children and that mommy won't be there to step in, that they can't just decide when they want to go, that once they start going they have to get up every morning and go for 5 days of every week, that they may be working more in class than they would have at home, that they will have to be quiet and sit still for much of the day even when they want to get up, talk, and stretch, etc...

Kids just aren't going to see all of the negative stuff that school offers. In their minds, it's probably a place where kids party all of the time. It's like a woman wanting a baby. Her mind is so wrapped up in those cute little baby fingers and toes that they don't see the reality of sleepless nights, crying babies, and the disruption of what is normal to them.

How about letting him go to school for specials (art, music, etc?). Then he would be with kids for 30-45minutes a day but not all day?

BTW, if you have concerns about his writing and/or academics, you can request screenings/evals from your public school (occupational therapist, etc.) even if you homeschool.

My ds wants to go to school. But I know it's because he's such an extrovert when it comes to other kids. I don't like the stuff he's picked up just playing with some of the ps'd neighborhood kids, and that's with me usually around supervising, and all/most of the play takes place at my home! My solution is to keep him busy this fall. T ball, swimming, pee wee naturalists. Normally I would be more into being home, but he seems to thrive when we go go go, and when it's too much, we play hookey. I had a dream the other night I conceded to his desire to go to ps and it was awful for me, but so good for him. He's 5, in 3-4 years if he still thinks he want's to go to school we'll look into something like waldorf.

Ditto what the others said.

Also, perhaps doing a class at a local library or Y might be an option. My dd is almost 6 and will be taking a Spanish class and possibly drama at the local library. They are very inexpensive and include lots of hs kids just because of the times they are offered.

Depending on your local school, there may be less opportunity for socializing than it would seem. The schools in my area really afford little time for the kids to have free time together. In the middle school nearby they can't even sit by their friends at lunch or talk in the cafeteria. School is pretty different from what I experienced ;)

I know this is a hard decision for you to make. Only you can decide what is right for your family and your child, and you may even make a decision and have to go back and chose a different one. That's ok. It's a learning process for us all :)

Arlene

Depending on your local school, there may be less opportunity for socializing than it would seem. The schools in my area really afford little time for the kids to have free time together. In the middle school nearby they can't even sit by their friends at lunch or talk in the cafeteria. School is pretty different from what I experienced ;

Arlenethats how it is at our schools too, when Katie was in PS i went to eat with her every friday and it was so weird because they werent even allowed to speak while in the cafeteria, if the kids waved or spoke in the hall they lost free time, it was like jail. Then when katie went to middle school for the year before we decided to pull her out again, she only went to PS for 2 yrs,(5th and 6th) it was not what i remember school being like, they get 5 minutes to get their books between classes and then when they had a 6th grade social event during the summer where they got a tour of the school etc they were told to sit in the chairs in the lunch room, well turned out that was were katie was assigned a seat to eat everyday, she never got to sit with her friends for lunch all year long all because she just sat down in a chair.

These werent the reasons i pulled my kids out of PS but they did help my decision in a small degree. Our school was rated at a 36% for the district so I knew i could do much better for my kids.

We have already started homeschooling we started monday, the kids are working on math right now and they are soaking up the knowledge like sponges. My 5 yr old has asked why are we being homeschooled already but i just explained to him that mommy and daddy thought it was best for him for mommy to teach him, we would think about letting him go to PS later on in a few years but for now him and his 3 sissys were staying home. Plus mommy makes it more fun,lol.