What does one do when they have lost their faith? I don't mean over anger or even rebellion really, but just truly believing there is no higher power, no after life, etc? I know anyone can be spiritual, but.......

Isn't it such a blow to go from "knowing" there is a HP and praying and asking for help to Beings beyond this realm.... and "knowing" there isn't such a thing? Sort of like the rug being pulled out from under you, no? I am really curious about this, if anyone would care to share such a personal journey. I am particularly interested in how you came to grips w/your new beliefs, and how you stopped feeling any residual guilt about the process (assuming there was some? I dunno, maybe not, maybe I assume way too much here). :)

Mary,

Hey, you are in my thoughts more than you probably know.

Well, I ended up coming to faith again....but not the same faith that I was devestated by when I realized it was not what it was claiming to be.

Right at the very end of my journey, I had decided that maybe there was indeed nothing. But then I had a nagging feeling to give one more thing a try and I did and it was the "end" for me and I found a place with God.

The fear and guilt for me was experienced in the first approx 3-4 years after leaving my former religion. That slowly went away and was gone by the time I got to the point where I was really conisdering that there was nothing beyond this life. But then, like I said above....I had a feeling I had to do one more thing before giving up. And I did and am glad.

If you want to chat, PM me anytime. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers if that is Ok.

For me, spiritual upheaval and losing faith was the most difficult time in my life.

Michelle

I don't have time to respond right now, I hope to add more later :wink Right quick I will say that I think it does take time for the guilt and the what-ifs to go away. I walked away from fundamentalist christianity 4 years ago. I researched and learned more of history, other religions, philosophy and science since that time,a nd I am convinced that there is no higher being. I went thru being a loose christian, deist, agnostic,and would now happily call myself an atheist. That doesn't mean that I am a cynical mean person, or that I don't have a reason to be a nice person, as religion might teach. Try learning a bit about humanism!

Gotta go

I've lost my faith in Christianity over the past few years. I am really lonely and in some ways, I've become a worse person. In other ways, I'm a better person. Less judgemental but more prone to losing my patience with my kids. Does that even make sense?

The past few days I've realized I *need* Jesus/God/Goddess/Creator. I have no idea how that all fits, or if it even does. I *need* Someone bigger than me that can carry me through this life. I'm doing a miserable job on my own!

Isn't it such a blow to go from "knowing" there is a HP and praying and asking for help to Beings beyond this realm.... and "knowing" there isn't such a thing? Sort of like the rug being pulled out from under you, no?

Yes, that's exactly what it felt like. :( My self-esteem plummeted and hit rock bottom, partly b/c I had grown up thinking that without my religion, I'm nothing. But it really truly wasn't the path for me, and when I finally left it I felt like nothing.
I stopped believing, stopped praying, had anger at the idea of "god" - which I believed in only to the point of being angry about it. I feel like, for me, my athiest years cleared the slate for me, and years later I found out what I truly believe, not just b/c I was raise with it, but b/c its right for me.
If you are going through this, I wish you peace on your journey, and remember to trust the answers that come to you from your questioning. :hug:

My personal story: when I think I don't believe anymore something pops up to prove me otherwise. By something I mean a sign, a coincidence, etc., it can be something huge or something very small.
I do know many people who feel horribly guilty when they realize they do not believe as they once did anymore. <---that saddens me because IMO it says that the faith they once had taught them shame. It must have come from years of conditioning. I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their belief or nonbelief.

thank you for asking this question. and thank you mamas who have answered.

i am going through something very similar. although i do still believe there is a higher power. i just have to come to terms with the fact that i am not going to be finding it in the only religion i have ever known. it is so scary to me right now. i still haven't quite found my feet on any one path, but i am also not actively seeking a path at the moment. i do hope to find my way in time. big hugs to you mama.

I really appreciate the responses. I feel so alone. I don't fit in anywhere anymore. I'm really interested in the local UU church (which is full of ex-mormons since this is utah LOL), but honestly, I can't do that to my children. I really have no right to take them away from the religion I raised them in so devoutly. Yet how can I perpetuate those things I no longer believe either? We don't attend church anymore. I just feel there are no good answers, and wish I still knew and had the faith I had before. :( This really sucks.

Michelle, I think about you a lot too. :) I still can't get over the shock that you are a Christian, just as I'm sure you are shocked that my spiritual beliefs have taken this turn LOL. Just as Elizabeth and I floored each other when she became LDS; and me, not so much. :)

For me, this is not about feeling betrayed by my God or even my religion. It's not anger based, which would actually be easier. My belief and talks w/God and my Savior took me through so many hard times in my life. I feel like I've lost my best friend. I feel like I'm betraying the God I knew. But, I cant help what I believe either.

Yes, humanism, thus far, best describes what I think about life philosophies. If only I could shed the guilt!

I live in fear that my religion IS truth..... which means I will hate myself in the next life. But that said, how could God fault me for following my heart and my head?? How could He be God and fault me for this? I'm just confused, and after I type this, will probably stop thinking about it for a while again. :)

Oh I have to say something else...... ;) After posting on the main board about nursing school, and Barb's comment about coincidences being God's work...

I try really hard to be thankful for all that I have. This is something that has surprised me (ignorant as I was I guess!) that you can be an atheist but still be blissfully, humbly, thankful! I think I am even more so really, b/c I believe most of what we have in life is big fat luck. No one gives it to us based on worthiness, it's just hard work and luck (sometimes just one of those lol).

I have found some comfort in praying to "the God or gods I've known or not known, that may or may not exist, and the combined influences of human history and existance and thought..." okay, not those exact words at all and I'm looking for something more eloquent LOL. And it's not a cover-my-@ss thing either to include everything....... it's sincerely from my heart.... acknowledging I don't know what forces may or may not be at work, but whatever it is (or isn't) then, just, thanks. I thought atheism was self-centeredness. I'm not finding that at all. hm. What an interesting path this is.

Maybe that'll help someone else. Or verify my looniness or something. :)