Mamas with uncrunchy dh's ~ Need your help [Archive] - AmityMama.com

View Full Version : Mamas with uncrunchy dh's ~ Need your help


BlueRoseMama
03-18-2006, 12:07 PM
Will we all post our most beloved sites/magazines/journals to prove that we are not nuts?

Although I LOVE this forum and have learned so much from it, I often need more weight than "some mama on Amity said this" in my arguments because I have an intellegent and argumenitive dh. D*mn it. lol...

I was thinking a long list of posts like how they pour pesticide at the base of the banana trees, or a list of how many DDT's (carcenogens) are still being used in food production, would help all us mamas with uncrunchy dh's in our own small domestic battles over the right to feed the kids, etc. I know that over time I have gathered lots of information from this site, magazines and a few other sources that tell me that I am doing the right thing for my enviroment and my childrens world. My dh can see this now, but still it has taken him a lot of convincing to step out of the mainstream box on some things. And other things he lets go because he knows that I know more than him and it is not worth the fight I would give him if he tried to tell me otherwise. :nono: :vent:

And yet other things I have given on. Some big things too that I thought I would be die hard against I have found myself letting go because I can't find a strong enough argument. It is all about give and take... but it would be nice not to have our entire culture in his corner. :shake:

So lets make our own corner shall we?

val

Kbsmama
03-18-2006, 04:02 PM
Thank you, Mama, I need this. I just got Disease-Proof Your Child by Dr. Joel Fuhrman from the library. I think it may be good.
Obviously, anything on bleach would be good for me.
I'll be watching this thread!!!

mamatanya
03-18-2006, 05:11 PM
Subscribing too. Dh and I fight about bleach, food coloring, ect, etc. I'll try to find some of the online links I've had in the past. Mothering Magazine has been great. All of their informative articles have extensive bibliographies.

Maura
03-18-2006, 05:41 PM
Hello! I am with you on this one! I need to learn how to not have to buy two of everything! We get "regular" food and healthy food. "Regular" health and beauty products and natural beauty products. "Regular" cleaning supplies and healtheir cleaning supplies. Yes, I do the shopping, but my husband brings home the paycheck and insists that I get "real" products.....$$$ waster:)

BlueRoseMama
03-19-2006, 12:08 PM
Ok here is info on Heme and nonHeme Iron sources and good combos to eat to maximize the Iron intake of the body (BioAvailability):

http://www.gicare.com/pated/edtot38.htm

Here is some info on pesticide use and the highest and lowest pesticide residue in veggies and fruits:

http://www.grinningplanet.com/2005/05-24/food-and-pesticide-residue-article.htm

Pros and Cons of Cloth diapering:

http://www.gradingandexcavation.com/mw_0209_beyond.html

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/diapers/joy-of-cloth.html

Politics of Diapers:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/diapers/politics.html

BlueRoseMama
03-19-2006, 12:12 PM
Perhaps when we are done with this we can start a crunchy FAQ file. With all of the info we have gathered together in one place with Questions like:

Why we don't circumcise. (which honestly I do, but that is a long story.)

and

Why cloth?

And each of these could have three or four links to the info we have discovered and the articles we have written about our experiences. That would have been SO helpful to me when I started out.

Ariadne Umbrell
03-19-2006, 11:32 PM
I don't know that I can be much help referencing things, since mostly I have a bird's nest for a brain, with information feathering out.

Anyway, I don't know your politics, or anybody's DH's politics, but Michael Savage, on the radio, is surprisingly crunchy, and all about nutrition, and such. He's written books about it, and he's got a PHD in nutrition. Right now, he rants on the radio, and in books, and he's grouchy enough to hold my Dh's attention, and have my DH go along with things like nutritional yeast, and sourdough bread, and NO RED DYE. Apparently having a deep voice, and needing to shave, makes you reliable.

Andrew Weil, maybe, I think writes columns in men's magazines, not just women's mags. I could be wrong here.

ari

oldiebutgoodie
03-20-2006, 02:27 AM
Apparently having a deep voice, and needing to shave, makes you reliable.


:lol: I like your sense of humor. You make me laugh. My hubby has to hear it from what he considers a reliable source as well. it doesn't matter that I said it until he reads or hears it for himself. Men :rolleyes:

BlueRoseMama
03-20-2006, 12:36 PM
I am stealing these links from another post about organics in this forum to use as reff:

Why Organics?:
Link to a book of the leader of the Organic Movement.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/055...lance&n=283155

Two links to web sites explaining about what pesticides are doing to our bodies and such:
http://www.cehn.org/cehn/pesticides.html

http://www.flcv.com/pesticid.html

BlueRoseMama
03-20-2006, 12:59 PM
Once again stolen from MotherMoon and another thread.

High Fructose Corn Syrup:

http://www.westonaprice.org/modernfo...hfructose.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp...nguage=printer
http://www.mercola.com/2002/jan/5/fructose.htm
http://www.newstarget.com/003002.html
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/htm...thsyrup04.html
http://www.sierraclub.org/sierra/200409/interview.asp

BlueRoseMama
03-20-2006, 01:11 PM
Vegetarianism:
And kids growing up healthy vege's:
http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/vegetarianism.html

Going Veg?
A UK site, but seems like GREAT info!
http://www.vegsoc.org/

A veg rescource guide:
http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/nutshell.htm

Vegan:
This is an article from Kimbermama in another post about the factory farm dairy cows and veal.
http://www.factoryfarming.com/dairy.htm

oldiebutgoodie
03-20-2006, 01:26 PM
Perhaps when we are done with this we can start a crunchy FAQ file. With all of the info we have gathered together in one place...

And each of these could have three or four links to the info we have discovered and the articles we have written about our experiences. That would have been SO helpful to me when I started out.

That's a great idea Val:cuc:

michmom
03-20-2006, 02:06 PM
can we use this thread to just complain, too?! :lol: my dh is also intelligent and argumentative, and thinks i am way way overboard... a few days ago he caught me sniffing my armpits at the end of the night to see if my new non-aluminum deoderant was working, and he said to me, "you are 100% granola!" and i said, actually, i know of way more crunchy people than me!

anyway, we also have two seperate food lists-- we even have "regular" raisins! the only thing he's been really with me on is the cleaning supplies-- he's nagged me for ages to get rid of the murphy's oil soap, etc.

*sigh* at least i have you mamas. :)
alycia

mamatanya
03-20-2006, 03:12 PM
OK, this isn't food but as long as we are collecting these websites in one place, and showing Dh what's up, here's a big one for me.
http://www.turnertoys.com/PVC_framepage1.htm

lazumoon
03-22-2006, 11:46 PM
OH The Cleaning Products! I wish I could get my dh to stop it with the bleach and the windex and the lysol. Everytime I change a poopy diaper he's running throught the house with the lysol and suffocating me. The other day we were at the "regular" grocery store and all I could smell was chemicals (from cleaning) and I said it was making me sick and he said I was crazy. I read him something from "Chemical Free Kids" but it wasn't very convincing I guess. His grandfather is 90 years old and smokes and drinks every day and "still climbs coconut trees!" (in Honduras) so I guess he doesn't see the point, but then he's on the vegetarian crusade! I don't know, the only thing that convinces him is if I say it it'll save us money. Any good anti- cleaning chemical sites?

Linda
03-23-2006, 11:53 PM
Children of the Toxic Harvest is a compelling read...I'll see what I can dig up link wise for easier reading.

Kbsmama
03-24-2006, 10:39 AM
I sent this link to DH at work yesterday.

http://www.epa.gov/indicators/roe/html/roeHealthSt.htm
(http://www.epa.gov/indicators/roe/html/roeHealthSt.htm)

It is the EPA listing of causes of death in adults in the US. It basically states that over 60% of people in this country die of cancer or heart disease. Also in the top categories are other diet-related conditions. I commented that if this is how "the rest of America lives" do we really want to live like "everybody else"????

Shawnie
03-24-2006, 10:40 AM
I just need to say that my dh doesn't agree with everything I do, but I don't make an issue out of it anymore and neither does he. I don't buy foods that I feel are unhealthy. He use to give me a hard time about it but he doesn't anymore. I use to buy 2 of everything and then I decided that he eats crap all day when he isn't home and that he could deal with ONE meal being healthy. I am a SAHM and realize that he makes the money but I do the shopping and cooking and he will learn to deal or not eat. I use to try to argue the benefits with him, but he was never going to hear them (especially if they came from me) so I stopped. Now after 2 years of cooking this way he eats brown rice and doesn't complain, we don't have processed foods in the house unless they are organic. He will still once in awhile complain about not having soft white bread and bologna sandwiches, but I just can't bring myself to buy them anymore. I never thought we would be here.....not arguing about healthier food choices. I think the difference is time and my not responding when he says something about the food.

Good Luck,
Shawn

BlueRoseMama
03-24-2006, 10:46 AM
We went through that phase too Shawn. It does get easier when you stick to your guns and don't give in. America is far too unhealthy for my taste. I don't mind junk every now and again, but I won't have it sit in my house, and I don't like paying good money for it either. I just stuck to my guns. Dh has learned to deal.

I just think that having information to back an argument is really important. Mostly with me, it is if he ever does ask, I have the info... right there for him to see. It is not "_____ said that her dh complained of ____ and now it's gone so I think ____ is good." You know?

Val

Kbsmama
03-24-2006, 11:14 AM
You know, I've been really having a fit over DH lately, but the fact is we've come a long, long way. He is balking because I am eliminating yet another layer of food! It started with using whole grains, not buying trans-fat crackers and chips, not using chemical cleaners for the most part. He had adapted to all that. He has dealt with our elimination diets over the past 10 months. And he is dealing, fairly well, with the newest, which is GF/CF. Now I am telling him we need to do more--mainly eat more veggies, um, A LOT more veggies, and way less meat. And he wants meat.

And, there are a lot of things we just don't speak of--like the basket of cloth tp next to our toilet, my personal care products, etc. He buys his toothpaste, and I mix up baking soda and salt. He carries a bottle of Windex in his car because he doesn't like my homemade window cleaner.

I just plain stopped buying plastic wrap. He complained for awhile, but then, when it became clear we just weren't going to have it anymore, he discovered alternatives. I have a good stash of pyrex with lids, and canning jars of various sizes, and I do compromise and still buy ziplocs so DH doesn't go completely nuts when he's trying to help put food away. I do buy paper plates and paper towels and paper napkins, because DH is a paper product nut, but I make sure that the reusable alternatives are easier to lay hands on and use than the disposables.

He is a great guy. He is great with the kids, and helps out often (though sometimes begrudgingly, but at other times, especially when he gets enough sex ;), is very understanding of things that don't get done, or finished).

It makes me sad that he is not on board sharing in the adventure of finding new foods and new ways for us to enjoy food. Sadly, because I'm not making homemade whole grain bread anymore for all of us, he is buying his own loaves of white bread and has a stash of Ben and Jerry's in the garage freezer. I guess at least I can hope that the increased veggies I put on our plates will benefit him, and, I am grateful that, at least, for the first time in the (gulp!) 18 years I have known him he is seriously working out on a regular basis. One step at a time, I guess....

Sorry, this is slightly OT...

BlueRoseMama
03-24-2006, 12:52 PM
I would never be allowed to go as far as you. My dh just wouldn't have it.... but honestly, it is not my deal either. I am a foodie... I LOVE food. I enjoy everything about it, the texture, taste, smell, cooking, growing, sprouting, storing/freezing/canning. Love it. I love finding new ways to make what we already have better. I am on the no transfat bandwagon though... the only thing we still have is some peanut butter ('creamy no stir Adams with hydrogenated peanut oil'), and cheese nips (for Alex's school lunches like once a week) that has transfats. Everything else... well, I have weeded it out like the garden over the last four years. Tried different kinds of things to replace the ones we love, and the ones we just ate and didn't love I got rid of. Replaced Ritz with Right Rounds, replaced Safeway Fruit snacks with Organic Real Fruit Leathers, replaced Tree Top with Solana Gold Organic, just plain got rid of Top Ramen, Cambell's soup and bone bleeched white sugar. We eat more salad (the whole family, dh included eats one with dinner every night) and better salad (very often more spinich and baby greens then even lettuce... and in season strait out of the garden... can't get better than that) than we ever have. I am a whole foods nut though. I don't like using things that are processed more than one or two steps (I consider drying a step, and I am omiting our blatent cheese adiction...lol)...

anyway... I am totally babbling. But I enjoy food too much to make that a priority. And I know dh would not go for it if I did. This was our largest fight area forever. I am not ok with him eating something different from the rest of the family so I had to give somewhat. Over the years I have been able to work with him to create something healthy and with in his taste zone. It is for the best in our case.

Val

michmom
03-24-2006, 03:02 PM
jody, i may have a suggestion for you regarding your dh's longing for your homemade whole grain bread. as you know, we are gluten-free, too, since october. however, this morn i was talking with our homeopath about alternative foods and she said we might try the sprouted wheat and see how ds does... she said the sprouted is totally different than the gluten stuff, but to be careful, b/c some companies put gluten back in... she said to try ezekiel brand.

i don't know, i honestly think i'm too scared to try, b/c we've finally gotten to where ds only has his eczema break-outs once every blue moon and i'd hate to be the cause of another one. :(

i've read about this, obviously, how sprouted wheat is different than "traditional" wheat breads, etc., but i guess i just wanted to be all-wheat free. maybe i'm going overboard...

anyway, potentially you could get your own wheat berries and sprout them and grind them and then make bread out of that. :) sounds easy enough, right?!

alycia

lildevil77
03-25-2006, 02:05 AM
As far as cleaners if you fill up the old bottles with the natural stuff who would know?:) Dh will put up a small fight if I make a big deal about something like no more paper plates, but when he asks for them I just say oh I forgot to buy them and he goes and gets a real plate. Last winter he refused to eat squash because I made a big deal out of us having to eat more, this year we must have eaten it once a weeek and he didn't say a word lol

lazumoon
03-26-2006, 01:25 AM
more ranting: my dh would definitely notice if I switched the cleaners, today with all three of us next to the coffee table he drenched the table in windex, and when I said something, he said, "do you want me to clean or not?" and he has a point, I am lucky to have a dh that loves to clean (for the most part) and he's way cool about the food, probably more than I am.However he's going nuts with the cloth wipe thing... that said, I wouldn't trade him for anything. Just when I thought there was no hope, he came home with those low watt light bulbs that save electricity but cost more. (I'd been mentioning them but lighting is his gig) okay, okay enough venting. Have ya'll seen that www.eartheasy.com it's got some great info on it.

Mamax4
03-26-2006, 09:03 PM
I have an easy dh. But I've had exp like this with one of my sisters and some friends' dhs. What seems to work is to do things failry quietly. I know it doesn't seem fair or honest, but things like good food just plain taste good. Some folks don't need to know right away that the food is organic or the milk raw, or the windex bottle is filled with water and tea tree oil, kwim?

My dh is an environmental chemist, so he doesn't need convincing on certain fronts. He was the one who used to wash the cloth diapers and never considered circing our boys, etc. He's the one who caught the babies at home and signed off on eye goop to treat a disease we didn't have. :snort:. Here, have some anti veneral disease ointment, even though you don't have the veneral disease". Ah, no thanks.

OTOH, he knows that some bad sounding 'chemicals' is 'just' salt etc. Information is power. It's hard to find reliable info on the internet, imo. Or even in life. Everyone seems to be selling something and everyone seems to have 'the' answer, and that gets old and tired.

We're more about the safety and history of foods and products, and not about the hucksters. It's hard to convince most folks to 'see the light' when the light seems to be something new every month.

For cleaning products, we know that vinegar, baking soda etc is not harmful. We know that organic eggs from neighborhood chickens, and other 'natural' and easy to find whole foods have stood the test of time. If allergies are not involved, we know we don't need commercial soy or rice or almond milks, which are highly processed. (If other proteins etc were an issue of sensitivity, we'd consider them). We know water is pretty much all we need to know, lol, for instance. We're about the basics, and I think starting from the basics of whole and 'natural' (meaning not highly processed), taking allergies etc into account, is a good starting point. The less processed, the more whole, the better, imo. For us, this includes cleaning products as well as food.

Of course, this precludes such things as our car and computer, which are highly processed, noxious, polluting items. ;-) We do the best we can.

Breila
03-26-2006, 09:41 PM
As far as cleaners if you fill up the old bottles with the natural stuff who would know?:) Dh will put up a small fight if I make a big deal about something like no more paper plates, but when he asks for them I just say oh I forgot to buy them and he goes and gets a real plate. Last winter he refused to eat squash because I made a big deal out of us having to eat more, this year we must have eaten it once a weeek and he didn't say a word lol

OT, Amanda your little babe is just too cute!

Somebody please explain to me the attraction to paper plates???? Even before I was "crunchy", I never got it. Just seems like such a waste of paper, landfill space, and money. How hard is it exactly to wash a plate, LOL? The only time we ever have paper plates is when we have had birthday parties here at the house. Otherwise, I have 16 dinner plates and I wash dishes every day, so I am not worried about running short!

As for DH's, mine has gotten to the point now where he just kind of sighs and says OK, honey, LOL. If he wants something I don't buy, he goes to the store and buys it. I don't have a problem with that. I would prefer he not do it, but I will say that since his recent blood pressure problems, he has been eating sooooo much better, and that has made my life easier.