I have a very personal outlook on religion. For the most part I don't like it. It makes me feel traped into thinking one way. Be it Wicca or Baptist... someone else is making the choices as to what is supposed to be important and what you celebrate. So I sort of made up my own and have spent the last year making my "Book of Shadows and Dreams" which includes rituals for our every day life (and I just did the cover in altered art), and things like a prayer to the God and Goddess to give thanks for the food we are eating, and after doing the 'high/low' game with the kids at the table. These things have become a part of our everyday life... but I wanted more. So I set out to find some books.

I have found two that I adore and I wanted to share them with anyone else that may be going through a similar hodge podge process of making their own religion.

How to Bury a Goldfish by Virginia E. Lang & Louise B. Nayer (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1579542751/sr=8-1/qid=1142209274/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-6612836-6091931?%5Fencoding=UTF8)

Seasons of the Witch by Gail Duff (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1569753369/qid=1142209383/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-6612836-6091931?s=books&v=glance&n=283155)

My dad just got here so I will come back, but I just love both these books and they have helped so much! Please ask questions if you want, I would love to answer anything about them or what we do if anyone is interested. :D

Val

I think it is great that you have your own place.

That is very important and what I learned from my spiritual journeying over the past few years.

I think anyone who has a very real, personal, living relationship with their God will have a "religion" like no other person. Even those who identify with a larger "group".....if that intimacy with God is there, then they have something that is as unique as their own fingerprint, KWIM?

I am happy for you!!

Michelle

I knew I liked you for a reason mama. :) LOL.

Your way of religion is my way. But I'll bet they're miles apart because they are the same.

I'm really interested in the how to bury a goldfish one. I'm gonna go to B&N to look at it on thursday I think. (my next space of free time that will be during business hours of the world) I've seen the other one, and may actually have it. I tend to just collect anything on any 'religion' or philosophy and absorb some of it but never really remember what i did with it later. :)

I love your idea for your book of shadows and dreams. I think I would like to do a similar creation, but when I am done with school I think.

I have really enjoyed my journey to finding myself spiritually. It is fun to honor nature and not feel as though we had to stick with specific tasks, etc.

The book How to Bury a Goldfish is an amazing one for unreligious rituals. She has simple things to do when someone make a big choice, be it they are deciding to go into another career or to quit soccer practice. It has a lot of respect for children, and a lot of respect for what they go through. I am just loving it. Espically since Cyan is going through loosing her best friend right now... her best friend, whom lived next to each other since birth is moving 2500 miles away, it has been REALLY hard to get that through to either of them, and even harder to get them to start reaching out and making new friends. She is starting to find a new couple new friends here, but every time Faith comes over, there may as well be no one else in the world. So her mother and I got together last night and decided to make pen pal books for the kids. Hers has a picture of me and Cyan on it and ours has a picture of her and her mom (her mom and I have known each other since middle school). I am getting ready to decorate them and put the first letter to Faith in hers before I send it with her. I am also as a personal note for the girls, taking pictures of their last weekend together (this weekend) and putting three in a frame. Cyan on one side, Faith on the other, and a good pic of both of them in the middle. I will paint the frames pink or some other girly room color and hopefully they will hang on their walls and remind them of writing and talking to their friend.

That is why I got the Goldfish book. To find a good ritual around that. This is not what she does in the book for a best friend/family moving away... but it was great inspiration for the ideas we had, and it started an awsome conversation. Other rituals that I have seen know I will remember... as well as putting a few in our Book of Shadows and Dreams so I remember them at certian times (like when Alex starts becoming a man, and Cyan gets her first moon... things like that).

It is the best part of religion for me, and none of the pressure.

Ok I am totally babbling now. I would love to have a bit of a conversation over what rituals you do for/with your kids and why.

Val

Oh Ian... here is the cover of my book of shadows and dreams that I just finished (this is without the pages in it cuz I hadn't punched holes in them yet. lol...)

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y299/bluerosemama/Craft%20items/IMG_1234.jpg

Thank you *so much* for sharing this. I'm going to look at those books. We have Circle Round and tend to read stories from it during the pagan holidays, though I don't call us pagan per se. Katie has already developed a pretty articulate version of spirituality for her, and can tell you quite succinctly what she believes and why - and it's a bit different than dh, and a bit different than me - we all have our own unique take on spirituality which I guess is cool. I never wanted to raise my kids to be a certain religion, but I had hoped that I didn't, in the rejecting of a formal religion, leave them bereft of any spirituality like my mom did with me. My mom's an agnostic at best, probably more of an atheist, and she basically crushed spirituality out of me at an early age. The only thing I had to cling to was the mysticism of the Catholic Church, which is not, IMO, the healthiest piece of religion to cling to. But it has more in common with paganism than the church would like to admit. It has taken me a long time to embrace spirituality again. I have to say that taking psychedelics in college really helped me see the spirituality and sentience of every single atom in the universe, and that's when I began to feel that there was a divine spirit beyond our physical body and the physical world around us.

Oops...off on a tangent. :) Anyway, thanks for the book information. Definitely something I would like to check out.

Lauren, yep, those early years were enlightening for me as well :lol:

I chose Christianity and followed a Christ centered path for 20+ years and then began to be disgruntled with the control and crap some of the churches presented.

It was a hard journey for me...I was terrified I was cursed, or displeasing God somehow by doubting my religion after so long...took about 2 years to get through it. Now I am much more open minded and feel really good aobut my spiriutality. I still follow the Christian ways but do include my own ideas and feelings in my path. But absolutely keep my ideas to myself. They would not be acceptable in my congregation. blah blah blah
Sorry for the babbling.

Valerie I LOVE your book.. and the idea of it and I would love for you to share more of your creative work.

By the way, the pants you made Olivia last year are soem of our favorites. They get used and abused and are holding up so well.

I wish I had some like that;) You are one talented mama!

We live a very expanded non-religious spiritual life ourselves. There is certainly freedom in that. What I love is that when I have studied various world religions the big picture is quite similar-no coincidence there.

you know, I love it when you guys "blah blah" it's the best part of my day!LOL ! and I love this thread because it's nice to know that others share a similar journey and aren't afraid to be churchless or doctrineless, my dh and I have very different paths, he is very "by the book" and although he is supportive of what I believe he has a hard time not having one doctrine to compare to his. I love your idea of the book of shadows and dreams. One book that I have always turned to is the Illuminata by Marianne Williamson,she has prayers and readings for most of life's sacred moments. She has a great passage and prayer on Sex that I can't wait to read to my daughter when she is old enough.
Do any of you have spouses with different spiritual paths, if so what kinds of things bring you together?

Oh yes... my dh is agnostic and quite athiest as well. He believes that this is it, for the most part... but he will openly admit he doesn't know too.

The worst about my dh is not that he has different beliefs.. it is that he snears at mine. There are days he can be SO judgmental and un-PC towards others practices that it makes me want to hit him. (We just had one of those conversations last night... can you tell? :p ) He is also ok with religion as long as their Christans. He considers this "normal". BAH! I look at his background and say 'Ok that is where that is coming from', but saying all other religions are weird... well it makes me angry. (I should have waited a few days to write this post I think :rolleyes: ).

But although he is not supportive of my religious journey the kids need it. I have seen them go through these rituals with me and they love it. So he can be the outsider in the house. That's ok by me. :D

I feel that tolerance and policital correctness is a measure of maturity in todays society. I think that when one can listen, disagree and still be respectful it shows a comfort with themselves and being different. I am waiting for dh to catch on.

Val

Val-
Thank you so much for starting this thread!:heart: we are having this issue come up in our family. I have had no formal religion or spirituality brought into my life until my midwife Tina was blessed into our world.

pagens actually have alot to do with every hoilday. i just found out that the reson so many relgions belive that 12-25 is Christs b-day because in the 4th century,Pope JuliusI designated 12-25 as the birthday of Christ not becasue it was believed to be his actual date of birth but because it coincided with the ancient pagen wintersolstice,including yule and Saturnalia. The Christian fathers frowned apon this time.In the dark ages the Christmas season was a quiet time. and now look it is the most hecktic time of year:sob:

pagens actually have alot to do with every hoilday. i just found out that the reson so many relgions belive that 12-25 is Christs b-day because in the 4th century,Pope JuliusI designated 12-25 as the birthday of Christ not becasue it was believed to be his actual date of birth but because it coincided with the ancient pagen wintersolstice,including yule and Saturnalia. The Christian fathers frowned apon this time.In the dark ages the Christmas season was a quiet time. and now look it is the most hecktic time of year:sob:

Most Christan holidays are based off of the Pagan holidays. It was to wholy encorporate the Pagans into the Christan beliefs becuase it was illegal not to be Christan. Easter was Ostara, Christmas was Yule, the day after Halloween is Samhein (pronounced "sow-en") which is the day to celebrate our ancestors (the dead) hence the name "all hallows eve" which then changed in to Halloween. The only ones that wern't taken over were the summer holidays. Probobly because every one was so busy that any holiday in the summer was a very small affair. Who knows why Mabon, and Llamas were left behind, but we don't even hear of them anymore outside of Pagan Faiths.

Even later the taking over of Pagan Holidays and making them mainstream was a tradtion. Look at Feb 2nd. Which is Imbolc in Wicca/Paganism. It is the day to celebrate loved ones, for Brigantia who is the goddess of creativity and domestic accord, to celebrate the coming of the sun, and the lady Brigid. All of these things were adapted as the Virgin (Mary) in the Christan ritual of CandleMas or Feast of the Purification of the Virgin and Groundhogs Day to see if the winter would last or finally receed after the dark weeks between Yule and Feb. (Not to mention the later incorporation of Valentines Day by the Halmark Co to celebrate loved ones... what an interesting time of year to do that huh?)

When you look at all of these things (and much more I have learned) it is hard to believe that Christan faith is "right". I have no trouble with Christanity. In fact I respect it for bringing much of what I now love about our education, faith, social rules and guidelines, etc to us. The rules of christanity were set up to keep its followers safe. And I respect that fully. But it is hard to believe in something that has been taken from so many other religions and put their own name on it is something that will take me to heaven, etc.

Anyway. There are many things I learn like that. So I tend to respect what I see. Nature. I believe that each time a seed sprouts, or a baby is concieved, that is the real devine of my world. We may come back to this place... we may go on. We may just disappear. But while I am here I will reval in what I know is beautiful and respect it as best I can. (Which includes those who believe differently than I).

Val