Because a few of you asked on another thread, I thought I'd make a new one on how to get started in adoption. I'd love for other adoptive parents to add their input as well. I only know my experiences and those of my personal friends. :) When I first started the process, it seemed so overwhelming. I started a local support group that has been invaluable. I enourage you to look for one or to start one. Some of my best friends have come from that group. I consider them family. :hug:

1) Research. Read books, search the web, ask friends. Some websites are http://www.fosterparents.com/ , http://www.adoption.com/ , and http://www.fertilethoughts.com/. All of these have message boards that are a wealth of information and there are others out there too. Try to find out what type of adoption you want. International vs. Domestic. Private vs. State. Age, race, special needs. All of this is what you will want to consider before searching for an agency. Once you narrow down a specific "type" of adoption you are open to, then you will be able to find specific yahoo groups that focus in this area and you can begin your search for an agency.

2) Find an agency. Something I can't stress enough is to RESEARCH your agency. We naively signed up with the first agency that called us. Although I am obviously glad we did (beacuse of Melody) it is not the path I would take now. There are many many different agencies. You may check in your state, but you can use any agency, not just a local one. Some deal with private adoptions only, some international and some both. There are also agencies specific to certain religions, meaning they are more limited on who is accepted into their program. Ask for references and call them. I personally wouldn't consider a letter a reference. I would want to actually talk on the phone to an adoptive parent (or 2 or 5) that had used them before. You do NOT have to go through an agency. You can get a private homestudy done and then try to adopt through word of mouth or through a lawyer. This may take more time but is usually considerably less expensive.

3) Get a homestudy done. If you go through an agency, they will do your homestudy most likely, unless you are in a different state. Then you will need to find someone in your own state to do your study - a licensed social worker. A state (dhs) homestudy is generally free and will allow you to adopt not only any child waiting in foster care in your state, but any other state as well. State adoptions are financially free, not not always mentally and emotionally. ;) But there are numerous children in foster care waiting for homes. A homestudy is a process which you go through to be approved. It varies from agency to agency but most likely you will have 2 or so home visits. They interview you and your husband and children that are old enough to understand. They want to know your reasons for adopting, your family interests, your childhood, your means of discipline, all about your marriage, etc. Basically everything. ;) They'll check your home to make sure it is safe and they will have specific things they are looking for (you can ask about this beforehand). For example, fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, water hazards, enough exits, etc. You'll also need income verification, tax statements, birth certificates, marriage licenses, divorce licenses, a physical for each member of your family, a background check, references, and a life book (scrapbook detailing your family).

4) Wait and prepare. If you are going through an agency you will be waiting on them to "match" you with a particular birthmother or waiting child. If you do not go through an agency, you will need to network. I've seen it happen and it can work. But you have to get the word out to everyone that you are wanting to adopt. If you plan to nurse, you can use this time to prepare.


I am sure I am leaving a ton out so ask any questions you want and feel free to fill in what I have left out. I do not know much about international adoption, but there are plenty of moms on this board that have done it and I am sure would love to share.

Cost - I have a friend who has adopted 5 times, each adoption costing $500. :eek: I also have friends that have spent $30,000 to adopt. And as I have said before state adoptions are free. Finances are not fun to talk about related to adopting a child, but it is a reality. There are grants available, loans, etc., and a tax credit that allows you to get back $10,000 of what you have spent adopting.

Research what options are available to you locally as well as internationally. We were told we could not have a healthy infant locally - even one with a minority culture/race because we have a large biological family (more than four kids).

DON'T worry about it if you don't own a home or don't have a huge income - that's not what social workers look for in determining a good family :)

If you do opt for an international adoption, look at the country requirements. Many require you to travel - some for as long as a month. Others will escort (bring the child into the US for you) and some will ONLY escort (ethiopia comes to mind because of the current safety issues there).

Save, save, save if you want to adopt internationally. It IS expensive.

Look into adoption funding options - and grants.
http://affordingadoption.com/
http://www.affordingadoption.com/grants.php

Grants can be associated with a waiting child - where an agency is willing to pay for part of the adoption.

Consider a sibling group or an older child. The costs with those adoptions are significantly less.

Don't let slammed doors - even theoretical ones - disuade you. There are more agencies than you can imagine. Adoption.com has a referral/feedback area for agencies - do your homework. We opted to go with an attorney facilitator. It just felt right for us. Do what feels right to you! :)

Research what options are available to you locally as well as internationally. We were told we could not have a healthy infant locally - even one with a minority culture/race because we have a large biological family (more than four kids).

DON'T worry about it if you don't own a home or don't have a huge income - that's not what social workers look for in determining a good family :)

If you do opt for an international adoption, look at the country requirements. Many require you to travel - some for as long as a month. Others will escort (bring the child into the US for you) and some will ONLY escort (ethiopia comes to mind because of the current safety issues there).

Save, save, save if you want to adopt internationally. It IS expensive.

Look into adoption funding options - and grants.
http://affordingadoption.com/
http://www.affordingadoption.com/grants.php

Grants can be associated with a waiting child - where an agency is willing to pay for part of the adoption.

Consider a sibling group or an older child. The costs with those adoptions are significantly less.

Don't let slammed doors - even theoretical ones - disuade you. There are more agencies than you can imagine. Adoption.com has a referral/feedback area for agencies - do your homework. We opted to go with an attorney facilitator. It just felt right for us. Do what feels right to you! :)

Wow, what a wealth of information. Thank you! There are terms I don't understand at all in international adoption - whole 'nother world to me!


BTW, the bolded part... NOT true... who told you that? (grrrrr).

One of my best friends brought home her 16th child earlier this year. She's full African American and was adopted domestically. No problems at all adopting her, in fact the birthmom chose her over others. My sister is bringing home #5 and #6 next month. She was chosen also.

Specific agencies do have limits on age (of yourself) or how many kids you have. That's something I failed to mention. It's also something a specific birhtmother may be looking for. She may ask specifically for a multi-racial family or a childless couple, etc. But it's not true of every domestic agency.

BTW, the bolded part... NOT true... who told you that? (grrrrr).

We were told that by the Illinois company who works with primarily AA children - umm something -link? And the local Catholic Charities office who said that we wouldn't qualify for any healthy infant, that we would only be referred children who were *significantly* disabled, and that we should be prepared to wait a LONG time because "none of their moms" would choose a family with four caucasian biological children since it would just be a hard fit. :rolleyes:

Nice, huh?

We were told that by the Illinois company who works with primarily AA children - umm something -link? And the local Catholic Charities office who said that we wouldn't qualify for any healthy infant, that we would only be referred children who were *significantly* disabled, and that we should be prepared to wait a LONG time because "none of their moms" would choose a family with four caucasian biological children since it would just be a hard fit. :rolleyes:

Nice, huh?


Yeh real nice. :( It's not true of all agencies though. And my friend I spoke of has been told by many agencies she may not be picked, but she has on several occasions (others of hers were harder to place foster children). #16 was her first full AA child BTW. She has two other biracial children, as well as a few caucasian and hispanic children.

That's awesome that she's found success in building her family though adoption. I was devastated during the process, but now am at total peace with our country decision and moving forward when the time is right financially and pregnanc-ally ;) LOL

That's awesome that she's found success in building her family though adoption. I was devastated during the process, but now am at total peace with our country decision and moving forward when the time is right financially and pregnanc-ally ;) LOL


LOL I think there was a reason behind all that. :heart:

My SIL went through LDS family services. She hasn't been chosen yet, but the costs were more in line with their budget.

We were told that by the Illinois company who works with primarily AA children - umm something -link? And the local Catholic Charities office who said that we wouldn't qualify for any healthy infant, that we would only be referred children who were *significantly* disabled, and that we should be prepared to wait a LONG time because "none of their moms" would choose a family with four caucasian biological children since it would just be a hard fit. :rolleyes:

Nice, huh?

That sucks!! We're going thru Catholic Charities, but only for foster care at this time. We are hoping to adopt in a few years, if some things work out for us.

My SIL went through LDS family services. She hasn't been chosen yet, but the costs were more in line with their budget.


I have another friend that was gonna use them. :) Their costs are very reasonable. Unfortunately she got the same spiel ChasingChe got about how they may not be picked (they have four bios.) so they went another route.

That's awesome, Chris!! Foster parents are often picked first (or given first choice) so I think that's a great way to go. What an awesome thing to do for a child!

That's awesome, Chris!! Foster parents are often picked first (or given first choice) so I think that's a great way to go. What an awesome thing to do for a child!

It may sound silly, but my dh's only argument right now is that I don't drive, and not only that, but our van only has space for one more. He's afraid that we'd find a sibling group to adopt but then be devastated because we can't afford a bigger vehicle right now.
SO, for now, foster is whats for us.

Nothing sounds silly to me anymore. Especially when you're talking about fostering and adoption. I think the motives and acceptance are put on people's hearts at the right time, in the right way, for a reason. I'm sure whatever was meant for your family will find a way of working out for you :)

Thank you for this thread! We plan on starting the homestudy process as soon as our house is finished being built. (I don't think we'd look to good at this point with soon to be 7 people living in a 900 sq ft trailer all sleeping in 1br, lol)

Thanks! :hbeat:

One of my current teachers has adopted (are you ready?)....




























34 children! She has four biological, is no longer married, hasn't been for years. If I understand correctly they were all state adoptions, all various races and she has paid for all of it herself! WOW! Besides teaching she write textbooks. That's all! Two of her children live in apartments behind her home, nine others still live at home and the youngest is six.

She said that a bouquet of flowers is most beautiful when it contains many varieties and colors of flowers and that's how she thinks of her family. :hbeat:

We're doing international adoption - from China.

Adoption.com is a wonderful place to start - lots of information. Just a friendly warning: beware of the waiting children lists. It is a sure way to a broken heart. I kept falling in love with all of these precious babies, all of whom were no longer available when we finally got our homestudy done. I just don't look anymore, except for the waiting child list from our agency.

Well, I just did some research on local georgia adoptions, and turns out it doesn't take long to get a baby once you have completed the homestudy process..3m-1year for AA babies and a little longer for caucasian babies. I would want an AA baby, but I can't talk Tom into it yet. He said maybe in another year or two..

However, I did find out mothers/fathers need to be under age 45! Waaa..I'll be 40 this year and Tom will be 42...so I hope he means only another year..

The other thing I noticed that for those "speedy" adoptions, it is a bit expensive. I would need to save a LOT of money..the application alone is 200 non refundable dollars..and that's before the homestudy. The one agency I found that looked great also needs statements of christian faith..not a problem here as we are longtime members of an episcopalian church, but that sort of bugged me.

LMK if any GA mamas want the link. It's pretty easy to google them though!

And be forewarned - Catholic families are often turned away from Bethany because they don't consider them "Christian" families. :shake: (Episc could be the same - so watch out for some of the agencies that require a statement of faith - they can be REALLY picky)

Thanks! :hbeat:

One of my current teachers has adopted (are you ready?)....




























34 children! She has four biological, is no longer married, hasn't been for years. If I understand correctly they were all state adoptions, all various races and she has paid for all of it herself! WOW! Besides teaching she write textbooks. That's all! Two of her children live in apartments behind her home, nine others still live at home and the youngest is six.

She said that a bouquet of flowers is most beautiful when it contains many varieties and colors of flowers and that's how she thinks of her family. :hbeat:


Wow, will you PM me her name? I know of (online) a few ladies with tons of kids. Specifically one that is single. I wonder if it is her...

I hope this helped you. It's all what I've been meaning to PM you. Please PM me or post here if you have any more questions. :)

Well, I just did some research on local georgia adoptions, and turns out it doesn't take long to get a baby once you have completed the homestudy process..3m-1year for AA babies and a little longer for caucasian babies. I would want an AA baby, but I can't talk Tom into it yet. He said maybe in another year or two..

However, I did find out mothers/fathers need to be under age 45! Waaa..I'll be 40 this year and Tom will be 42...so I hope he means only another year..

The other thing I noticed that for those "speedy" adoptions, it is a bit expensive. I would need to save a LOT of money..the application alone is 200 non refundable dollars..and that's before the homestudy. The one agency I found that looked great also needs statements of christian faith..not a problem here as we are longtime members of an episcopalian church, but that sort of bugged me.

LMK if any GA mamas want the link. It's pretty easy to google them though!

I know of a few agencies in GA, one is the one my sister is adopting through and the other I just found out about today. ;) A lot of agencies do require statements of faith. If they are private they can pretty much come up with just about any requirements they want. Was it a specific agency that gave you an age limit? That's something else I forgot to mention. It's not somethign I think about a lot yet since I am 30, but our STATE requires that you be under a certain age to adopt an infant for state adoptions only. Then it is up to specific agencies to put their limits on adoptive parents. Also many adoption agencies do require you to be married a certain amount of time, usually b/t 2 to 5 years.

Melody came home 7 months after we signed up. Also the speedier ones can sometimes be the least expensive b/c good agencies will reduce fees in order to find a child a home. ;) Not all of them will though. But it's a big chunk at once so you would need to have it saved up (or be prepared for a quick loan).

And be forewarned - Catholic families are often turned away from Bethany because they don't consider them "Christian" families. :shake: (Episc could be the same - so watch out for some of the agencies that require a statement of faith - they can be REALLY picky)

I didn't know this until recently when a friend and I were talking about it, but she said that Bethany has changed their stance on Catholics. I am not sure if that's true or not though.

Also Bethany has message boards that don't neccessarily pertain to just those adopting through them. I think their website is bethany.org.

I know of a few agencies in GA, one is the one my sister is adopting through and the other I just found out about today. ;) A lot of agencies do require statements of faith. If they are private they can pretty much come up with just about any requirements they want. Was it a specific agency that gave you an age limit? That's something else I forgot to mention. It's not somethign I think about a lot yet since I am 30, but our STATE requires that you be under a certain age to adopt an infant for state adoptions only. Then it is up to specific agencies to put their limits on adoptive parents. Also many adoption agencies do require you to be married a certain amount of time, usually b/t 2 to 5 years.



This was this particular agency from what I can tell. However, it goes through the state, so it may be a requirement. I'd hope not, since parents are getting on the average older these days, but it wouldn't surprise me. I think in a couple of years I would consider a slightly older child, too.

My agency was a blessing. Finding the right one for a particular family isn't the easiet thing, but once you find it, it's a huge weight lifted.

I have many friends that have used Bethany Services.

Thank you for starting this thread, LeeAnn! We've been feeling more and more lately that our last child (or children) will be added through adoption and I've been quite discouraged by things I have read about large families not getting chosen.

We are starting to save now because we wish to do an international adoption.

Just wanted to say thanks for this information and *bump* it in case someone else missed it at first.

Thanks for bumping!

Cher - I am SURE you'll get picked. I'm sure you know this already but just research your countries carefully. Some are more large family friendly than others. :)

Thanks again, Lee Ann! You're such a doll!

Cher - I believe your best bet, with having a large family, is Guatemala. Otherwise, if you're willing to accept a special needs child, many other countries will let you adopt with a large family. Some are significantly disabled and some are only "low birthweight" or minor, correctable issues (cleft lip, etc). They also will list "preemies" as special needs, so it helps to narrow your country and look into each issue with a specific child. Ethiopia also has very relaxed guidelines and, I believe, has no limit on family size.

That's assuming you don't want to leave the kids back home so that you can travel to pick up the adopted child.

If you ARE willing to travel, you can look at other countries.
Albania, Hong Kong, Lithuania, Phillipines, Ukraine, etc.

I didn't know this until recently when a friend and I were talking about it, but she said that Bethany has changed their stance on Catholics. I am not sure if that's true or not though.

Also Bethany has message boards that don't neccessarily pertain to just those adopting through them. I think their website is bethany.org.

This was pretty recent, since we just started the path last year. But, maybe if it's been since then, the negative press was enough to get them to switch.

I just saw this post as I was getting ready to leave, so I only have a minute to type. We've adopted internationally from India 3 times.

My 'quick' advice is to not be afraid of international adoption if that's where your heart is. Do your research, find local and online groups, and really look at different agencies before deciding on one. I really, really recommend thinking about a waiting child adoption. Our Reid was a waiting child adoption and I can not imagine him not being a part of our family. His adoption was quicker and our agency (WACAP - we had a great experience with them) reduced his fees a good bit to insure he found a home. International adoption is not always as expensive as most people think. We are far, far, far from wealthy and we managed to do it 3 times. :hbeat:

There is an organization in Liberia that we are possibly thinking about. They are very, very open to large families and the costs are very reasonable. They also have a sliding scale for their adoption fee. Travel to Liberia is not required. The website is http://www.acresofhope.org/aboutacres.htm

You know, I think it's awesome to hear how many families have and are in the process of adopting - even considering adoption.

And it's especially nice to hear about the points of view from other moms who have adopted, especially the information they come across. There is SO much information out there and it's nice to see/hear that there are even still untapped resources and unfamiliar country regulations. What a great way to spread the word - this thread is just wonderful!!!

I just loved reading the grants on Affording Adoption (linked previously in this thread by me). They have websites on there that have grants attached to individual waiting children and they so desperately need good homes. Some have been up there for more than a year (at least - that's when we started looking) :(

I just saw this post as I was getting ready to leave, so I only have a minute to type. We've adopted internationally from India 3 times.

My 'quick' advice is to not be afraid of international adoption if that's where your heart is. Do your research, find local and online groups, and really look at different agencies before deciding on one. I really, really recommend thinking about a waiting child adoption. Our Reid was a waiting child adoption and I can not imagine him not being a part of our family. His adoption was quicker and our agency (WACAP - we had a great experience with them) reduced his fees a good bit to insure he found a home. International adoption is not always as expensive as most people think. We are far, far, far from wealthy and we managed to do it 3 times. :hbeat:

WACAP comes highly recommended by two friends of mine too! :)

This was pretty recent, since we just started the path last year. But, maybe if it's been since then, the negative press was enough to get them to switch.


It was just a few weeks ago when we talked about it and that's what my friend said, that the negative press did the trick. I hope it's true!

I know people that have used Bethany too and love them.

You know, I think it's awesome to hear how many families have and are in the process of adopting - even considering adoption.

And it's especially nice to hear about the points of view from other moms who have adopted, especially the information they come across. There is SO much information out there and it's nice to see/hear that there are even still untapped resources and unfamiliar country regulations. What a great way to spread the word - this thread is just wonderful!!!

I just loved reading the grants on Affording Adoption (linked previously in this thread by me). They have websites on there that have grants attached to individual waiting children and they so desperately need good homes. Some have been up there for more than a year (at least - that's when we started looking) :(

I know it's silly, but I feel an instant bond to all of you on this thread. :hbeat: I agree how it is wonderful to hear everyone's stories and points of view. I love learning new things on adopting. I am probably obnoxious on the subject, but it's a passion of mine. :smirk: I just feel so blessed that my dream since childhood has come true (and God led us down JUST the path to get there). All things work together for *good*.

We were told that by the Illinois company who works with primarily AA children - umm something -link? And the local Catholic Charities office who said that we wouldn't qualify for any healthy infant, that we would only be referred children who were *significantly* disabled, and that we should be prepared to wait a LONG time because "none of their moms" would choose a family with four caucasian biological children since it would just be a hard fit. :rolleyes:

Nice, huh?

Adoption LInk told you that??? Well, there is someone from here who's partner had 5 bio (caucasion) kids and was able to adopt through Adoption Link.....

That was a while ago, so perhaps they have changed. Anyhow, I thought they always tried to be open to bigger families. Sorry they told you that. :(

Wow, I am getting really excited about this now. Kirstin really, really wants to adopt a baby from India so we may go that route, but Guatemala looks great too. I have to admit, though, I feel *incredibly* overwhelmed with all of the information. Yikes, lots to soak in my brain in such a short time.

Wow, I am getting really excited about this now. Kirstin really, really wants to adopt a baby from India so we may go that route, but Guatemala looks great too. I have to admit, though, I feel *incredibly* overwhelmed with all of the information. Yikes, lots to soak in my brain in such a short time.

Yeh it's a ton to soak up isn't it?

Ask any questions you have!

And try to find an IRL support group as well. :hug:

It is a lot to soak in. Our (adoptive parents) relatives gave us great advice. Request, request, request - sign up at every agency's website and request an info packet. It is CRUCIAL to really get the feelers out there and especially to inform yourselves as much as possible. We sat down and just read packet after packet (they're all free) and started narrowing down country choices. We were DEAD SET on South Korea. But then we started finding obstacles in our way and felt led down a path toward a country we hadn't really considered an option from the beginning. It was quite the learning experience and a long path.

Meg - did you find any GA agencies specializing in AA adoptions that *didn't* require a statement of faith? Or just the one that did?

Does this mean we'll get to be mommies together? ;)

Can you adopt through the state without doing foster care first?

I've heard good things about Acres of Hope, Jen, as well as the other agency working in Liberia.

Having a large family limits your choices but there are still a handful of countries to choose from. Ethiopia, Liberia, Guatemala, Kazakstan come to mind.

There is an organization in Liberia that we are possibly thinking about. They are very, very open to large families and the costs are very reasonable. They also have a sliding scale for their adoption fee. Travel to Liberia is not required. The website is http://www.acresofhope.org/aboutacres.htm

Thank you so much for this. We have decided to pursue this full force.:cuc:

Meg - did you find any GA agencies specializing in AA adoptions that *didn't* require a statement of faith? Or just the one that did?

Does this mean we'll get to be mommies together? ;)

I wish, Christy..but for us at least not now..maybe in another year I will have the financial resources..!

Anyway, the agency I'm talking about is just the one requiring a statement of faith..I don't know about others because I only looked at that one..I was so darned impressed that once you went through the process you could get your baby so quickly. They also handle foreign adoptions. The agency I looked at was www.opendooradoption.com

The other website that provides some resources was, http://georgia.adoption.com

I didn't get any further than that when I was struck by baby lust and had to call Tom..he said..wait a year. :D

Meg - did you find any GA agencies specializing in AA adoptions that *didn't* require a statement of faith? Or just the one that did?

Does this mean we'll get to be mommies together? ;)


Check out Tiny Toes adoption. I am not sure where it is located in Georgia, just know it is there. I am *pretty sure* they are not a Christian agency.

Can you adopt through the state without doing foster care first?


YES! Absolutely. In fact we are taking this route right now.

Anyway, the agency I'm talking about is just the one requiring a statement of faith..I don't know about others because I only looked at that one..I was so darned impressed that once you went through the process you could get your baby so quickly. They also handle foreign adoptions. The agency I looked at was www.opendooradoption.com



Oh man, this agency just put my friends through the wringer. They had to jump through all sorts of hoops and in the end they didn't get the baby (Downs Syndrome newborn boy).

FWIW, if you are looking for an AA infant, usually the wait is pretty short. We would have been 3 months from SIGN UP to PLACEMENT if our first adoption didn't fall through. So don't rely on those statistics to lead you to an agency.

Another thing, before going with an agency, ask DISRUPTION statistics. The way an agency deals with birthmothers greatly affects the disrupt rate. I also forgot to mention that you should expect a disruption (adoption falling through). Nobody likes to think it will happen to them, but it happens a lot unfortunately. Just be mentally prepared that if you are going to "match" with a pregnant potential birthmom, there are no guarantees. I had no idea how often it happens and was shook to the core when it happened twice. Being more involved in the adoption world now, I see it happens all the time. Other people match and get their babies the first time around. I guess it's a little like miscarriage.

Thanks for all the info so far. I've always felt called to adoption, and we plan to round out our family that way. :) It's gonna have to wait until we're back on the Mainland though.

Just another bump in case there is someone else who is interested.


:happy:

Thank you for starting this thread. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time.

Regarding adopting through the state - how do you find out what children are available?

TIA :)

Well I found the USKids website but when I called our social worker today for a homestudy update she told me that I do have to become a licensed foster parent to adopt through family services :confused: and that most states won't place with us until after we have our baby.

Ours was the same way, Adria. Many won't place until after a baby is born (and not while pregnant at all).

And part of the process is being licensed as a foster parent - it doesn't mean you have to BE one, just that you're able to be one. I think it's so that if a child needs to be relenquished after birth (or in an emergency situation) they'd rather place the baby/child with a person who is licensed to care for them IMMEDIATELY *then* go through the adoption paperwork and formalities. It's just easier on the child - since very few children through family services are open for adoption *immediately*.

Well I found the USKids website but when I called our social worker today for a homestudy update she told me that I do have to become a licensed foster parent to adopt through family services :confused: and that most states won't place with us until after we have our baby.

Here (and I'm pretty sure everywhere) you have to go through all the training etc. to do EITHER. We did 30 hours of training a couple of years ago to be able to foster. Now we are going the adoption route thru the state so the classes count for that (they are for either). They tend to be really discouraging to you when you call and ask questions (not sure why...). They'll say they have no babies available, etc. and it's just not true. We've missed out on two babies by not being *quite* approved. One was a boy straight from the hospital and the other was 5 months. This is just in the last few months.

The MAJORITY of foster kids won't be on any website. In our state, about 1/5 of the kids are on the website, and usually they are the harder to place kids (the other ones go quicker obviously so they never get on the site).

If you go to fosterparents.com there is a heading at the top that says STATES and it'll give you the direct website for each state. I know our state usually is not on USkids, so not all states are there, kwim?


It may be true they may not place with you until after you have the baby, but it would probably take that long to get approved. You would need training and then the homestudy. Unless your state is pretty quick.

I didn't see this thread before! I'm ready to start figuring out what I need to do for a homestudy. Our "plan" is to start with foster care--we have one bedroom, maybe 2 available RIGHT NOW. :) I'm anxious to get going.

I didn't see this thread before! I'm ready to start figuring out what I need to do for a homestudy. Our "plan" is to start with foster care--we have one bedroom, maybe 2 available RIGHT NOW. :) I'm anxious to get going.

GOOD LUCK Heather! I am excited for you!

We used LDS Adoption Services and while, to be honest, I think they are a joke, we stuck with them because they were so cheap. And we received these children that were all meant to be ours. But yuck. I think I know more about adoption than our social workers do. I know I'm much more organized than them, anyway. And they are pretty backwards in some of their beliefs about openness, etc. But it all depends on where you are. In Canada, we had the first wide-open adoptions they'd ever handled and now we do workshops for them on it and they're offering it as an option to all families now.

Kerri

We used LDS Adoption Services and while, to be honest, I think they are a joke, we stuck with them because they were so cheap. And we received these children that were all meant to be ours. But yuck. I think I know more about adoption than our social workers do. I know I'm much more organized than them, anyway. And they are pretty backwards in some of their beliefs about openness, etc. But it all depends on where you are. In Canada, we had the first wide-open adoptions they'd ever handled and now we do workshops for them on it and they're offering it as an option to all families now.

Kerri

That is awesome you've been instumental in helping them offer more open adoptions! I am ALLLL for open adoptions! :thumbsup:

Thanks for the info and clarification. :)

Well my adoption journey has really been a roller coaster.
First we adopted DD from Guatemala 4 years ago when she was 8 mo old. What a blessing she's been. So we wanted to adopt again.

#1 matched with mom in AZ, she chnges her mind 1 month before birth
#2 matched with mom in GA, she changes mind after baby born
#3 matched with mom in CA, we fly out, I'm with her for L/D, cut cord, she cahnges mind 6 hours later.
#4 referral for 6 year old girl in Guatemala, fly down to see her, come home, agency calls says we can't have her because of new information, she's been mostested and is considered a danger to our DD.
#5 referred to infant boy (Jose) in Guatemala fly down to see him in Oct. 2004, told he'd be home by Christmas, February 2005, still waiting, can't find birthmom to sign off adoption. Adoption process stops.
#6 referred to newborn girl in May 2005 ---still waiting for her to come home
#7 agency finds Jose's birthmom in May 2005, adoption is on again----still waiting to bring him home. He was 2 years old in Nov.

Like I said it's been a roller coaster. God willing, they will both be home by the end of March. Believe it or not, we'd like to adopt again, but our choices are limited. Guatemala is SO expensive so I don't see how we could afford it agian. We have lost so much money with the failed adoptions There's never a refund if the adoption falls through. My age is a mjor consideration as at 51, I'm too old to be a parent according to some domestic and international agencies. DH and I would gladly adopt an AA baby, but have been told that the baby wouldn't be accepted since we live in a VERY small GA town and the people are VERY narrow minded.

So we may try the state or pray for money to finance #4 from Guatemala. (probablly special needs:-)

The journey is hard and long, but the rewards are so great.

Sandra

DH and I would gladly adopt an AA baby, but have been told that the baby wouldn't be accepted since we live in a VERY small GA town and the people are VERY narrow minded.


I'm so sorry your journey has been so rough. I know it's been a rollercoaster for you guys! I hope your kiddos come home soon - I've been wondering how you were!!

About the above, you can PM me if you want details, but our town is 98% caucasian and we have had very little issues so far. Everyone adores Melody. It's always a tough choice though (and we don't plan to be here longterm).

This has been a terrific thread and I want to thank everyone who's posted on it.

We're looking to add one, possibly two more children to our family - not *quite* yet, but soon - and are seriously discussing adoption as a possibility. It's terrific to hear so many on this board have done it successfully. This thread has been really inspiring and helpful! I'm so excited to consider this possibility for our family. :heart:

I'm sorry to hear of the long and difficult struggles some have had with adoptions. I can only imagine how heartwrenching it must be.

Sandra - I'm glad you posted. I wondered how your Guatemalan adoptions were coming along. Any suggestions for funding a Guatemalan adoption? The country would be among our top choices if it weren't *so* expensive.

I'm working on my hubby. I'm trying to get him to agree to double the size of our family...

Here is a link to photolistings state by state....

http://www.childwelfare.com/waiting.htm

can we sticky this to the adoption/foster forum? There are so many great resources and it just seems to get buried up here in the market.

Good idea!

I started it here b/c the adoption forum doesn't get much activity but I think it'd be a great resource there! :thumbsup:

Sandra -- Would you mind sharing what agency you used for your Guat. adoptions? You can PM if you'd like.

We are trudging along day by day. Still trying to pick an agency.

tried to PM but you were full, so I'll just post it here:
Hey, mama - I just got your message on the thread about adoption and wanted to give you the info we have.

We have not yet adopted from Guatemala (the pregnancy was sort of a surprise, in the midst of that process - thankfully, early on in the process) but our relatives are very happy with *their* adoptions through him. We also just happened upon a family with two Guatemalan daughters when we were travelling in Wisconsin last year - they used him for both their daughters and we thougth that was not only a great testament to his reputation, but also a funny coincidence, considering how far away they were!

He has a great staff and they have a reputation around here for "costing a tad more, but being able to get things through the courts here and down there much faster than most" because they do so much "in house" and are so experienced down there. They attorney they work with in Guatemala is very well respected as well - there has been some recent controversy about attorneys in Guatemala being scam artists, so this was reassuring to us.

Let me find his link - and he's less of an "agency" and more of a facilitator. He's an attorney, and thus limited by malpractice laws, which protects us as clients that much more. We have a lot of legal recourse and protection because he's bound by more regulations than just an adoption agency, kwim? (Which is why DH really wanted to use his office).

Okay - here it is:
http://www.childrenoftheworldnet.com/
This is his resume:
http://www.r-rivera.com/RESUME.htm

Thank you!!

bumping

I also am in the very very very early consideration stages of our adoption process, you could say... but Thank you all for all the info. I want to soak in as much info as I can before we are even ready to put it into action!

There is so much to think about!

I'm coming in late, and have not read the other responses. (so I am probably repeating)

The first step is to find an agency and start on your homestudy.

The agency will take things from there. You can go private or state for your agency. We went state but when we could not find a "match" via our state system, we ended up adopting twice via private agencies. (both special needs adoptions)

Best wishes. My only advice if you are looking at special needs adoptions is to be very sure you can handle it......even as trained special ed teachers, we had no idea what parenting a child with developmental disabilities entailed!!

Michelle

DH and I have been foster parents for more than 12 years now. We are currently finalizing our third adoption. DD came into our care as a newborn just a few days old. The intent was to see her go to a foster resource home, a family fostering with the intent to adopt. Nothing happened and the longer she stayed with us the more obvious it was she was going to stay :)

I think Foster parenting is a wonderful way to explore adoption. I'm in Ontario Canada... not sure about how things work in the US but our expeience has been positive so far.

There have been no expenses involved in adopting through our local CAS (Children's Aid Society)

Good Luck to all who are in the process of adoption and those exploring the possibiliy. What a wonderful gift for everyone involved!

We already had 3 bio sons so we chose to do foster/adopt. At the time LDS social services had a cap on # children and we already had 3. So our choices were foreign or foster. We did our licensing and then home study and I chose to only accept newborn foster/adopt only. I specified no drug/alcohol exposure. Basically I felt I wasn't prepared to take on any special needs or deal with problems from abuse situations with older children.

Amazingly 1 week from our home study first visit we received a newborn healthy girl directly from the hospital. 6 months later we got baby #2 also perfectly healthy. She has a few sensory issues but nothing big.

During the foster process we met the birth families and offered open adoption a year into it and they relinquished. We see the biomoms twice a year and it is a great situation.

So miracles can and do happen. So don't think when you want to narrow your selection that you are cutting out your chances of getting a child. It is important to get the right child for you. Our beautiful girls are now 5.5 and 6 years old.


Sherry

Me again,

Our expenses to adopt were about $1000 per child which WA state reimbursed to us 2 weeks later. FREE CHILDREN

Not to mention being reimbursed every month for being foster parents. They qualified under the special needs adoption (because they could not be returned to their birth parent--aka termination) so they qualified for adoption support and we also get State medical as a secondary coverage. win/win situation.

The only real risk in foster/adoption is that you won't be able to finalize a placement--which did happen to us once. But it wouldn't stop me from doing it...life is full of risks and love only happens when you stick your neck out there.

Email me if you are considering foster/adoption and I will answer your questions based upon my experience.

Sherry