how do you cut out all the chaos and make your life simple and family centerd? This was running through my mind last night as I drifted off to sleep. Things are fine for now, but as the kids get older I wonder if it will stay that way.

Subing for suggestions too:)

Simple doesn't quite describe my family, as there are so many of us, plus 2 dogs, :eek: but I think we do some things well.

The best thing we do is enjoy our time together. This week, fi, my dh took vacation. We've played a different board games together, and laughed a lot. We 've slept in a lot, gone to the library together etc. Dh did take the older kids to see Narnia. We've put logs in the fireplace and snuggled together with some movies.

In our regular (non vacation week life) we:

Save money by-

Eating at home, together.
Using the library
Not shopping as recreation
Not having cable

We also:

Recycle as much as we can
Keep a compost pile (even in winter-- of course it's mostly a frozen pile lol)
We have a garden (is that simple? lol)

And:

Encourage the children to do those activites that they enjoy, but to not go overboard. We do not sign the kids up for a lot of activites, but my oldest seems to have lots he wants to do anyway. lol
Still, we are clear that we are not sacrificing family time for time driving the kids to a million different activites. we try to attend each others events, too.
We have family traditions- Your fav meal on the day of your b'day, no matter what. Friday movie & pizza night etc.
I think our culture often underestimates how important it is to be home together frequently as a family.

If something is popular in mass culture at large...shun it!!

:)

With teenagers here, we sometimes have to make them (require them) join in on an activity. We get the teen attitude at first but then the smiles come.

We also do not engage in paid out of the house activities. School activities and related actitivies and that is about it. (with the exception of activities through church and the public library) Lots of family games, watching old family movies is a hit and honestly not being "in the world at large".

Michelle

i'm subbing, too

I would say our life is very simple and family centered. Although I can't say I've thought about what exactly makes it that way...other than the fact that "simple" and "family centered" is a priority to us.

I'll think on it. :)

The first couple things that popped into my mind are:

No TV...though we occasionally rent movies. I think this is a huge key to our family simplicity.

No overscheduling of activities.


There are lots more. We homeschool and though it *can* be complicated I try to keep it very simple. Since my children don't spend hours playing video games and watching tv, they learn so much just living life that we spend very little formal school time right now. My main focus is on reading, writing, math and even those are relaxed.

Of course there are tons of financial avenues toward simplicity which I use: lots of homecooking, making things from scratch, preserving, canning, freezing, dehydrating, etc. Making a simple batch of homemade cookies is such a fun and rewarding (and simple) experience around here. My boys love to help. :)

We love to make homemade gifts. I wish we could all return to giving simple, handmade gifts as presents. Dh sews, I make soap and other bodycare goodies (and come up with ideas for him to sew!). Dh also woodworks and can build stereo equipment and computers.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. :)

It feels good to hear what has been written thus far. We spend a lot of time together as a family - to include grocery shopping and running errands. I hardly ever head out on my own. We just enjoy necessary errands so much more when we get to do them together. We do rent family movies and watch those and DH incorporates DS into almost ALL if the handywork around the house.

Reading what has been written keeps me inspired! I think one of the major thing that I need to work on is making sure that we do not over-schedule ourselves and DS. There is soo much that *I* want to see DS do (he enjoys it too, or so he says) but like Laurie said I don't want to sacrifice family time for activities. We gfind ourselves already ALL going to DS sports and dance practices. LOL!!! DH and I watch DS and chit-chat and catch up on the days events together. Unfortunately, sometimes, DH doesn't even get a chance to go home to change! It is wonderful, IMO, that we do all of these things together, but is it really necessary? Maybe we should just cut them out, the activities.

The other night I was having a hard time doing nothing and I do not want to find that to be the case down the road when the children are more independant and on their own...KWIM? I also want the children to be comfortable doing nothing and to be happy to be at home. I was always trying to get away from home thus why this is soooo important to me.

You can keep your life simple by keeping your home simple. Kids don't need 100 toys. You don't need 100 knick-knacks. Less stuff to take care of means more time together.
Even our yard is simple. The guy across the street cuts his lawn twice a week, is always trimming bushes, etc. My DH would rather be doing other things than lawn maintenance, LOL.
I try to keep Sundays to ourselves. Sometimes we'll just hop in the van and go for a drive, out to lunch, to a park - whatever.
We like to do crafts to celebrate the seasons. When it's cold out we make cookies and hot chocolate and cuddle on the couch. When it's hot out we blow up the kiddie pool. We have picnics and tea parties (complete with real china, gloves, etc.).
Friday night is pizza & movie night. I make two pizzas and we rent a movie. The neighborhood kids have caught onto this and now invite themselves over, LOL.
I made some cards for DD & laminated them. They are for game night, lunch w/Mom, lunch w/Dad, etc., so if DD feels she needs more family time or 1-on-1 time she can get it.
Sometimes at dinner time I'll make everyone say something nice about the person sitting on their left/right, or ask the kids what was the best thing that happened to them today and then we all have to chime in. Or ask them what they are thankful for that day. Just stuff to get us all talking and make us feel good about each other.
I have little notes posted on the fridge and on the family bulletin board about "Family First."
Just stuff like that. I could use more ideas though!

You can keep your life simple by keeping your home simple. Kids don't need 100 toys. You don't need 100 knick-knacks. Less stuff to take care of means more time together.

Definately! I have been getting rid of sooooo many things. It was a bit difficult in the beginning to let go and to adjust to the "barren" look (though my house really isn't barren at all :) ) but I am now appreciating the simple things much more. Housework is also a breexe this way!!!!

Even our yard is simple. The guy across the street cuts his lawn twice a week, is always trimming bushes, etc. My DH would rather be doing other things than lawn maintenance, LOL!

See I like to mow the yard. I find it relaxing and good exercise. I also like to work in the yard weeding and planting flowers etc. it makes me feel good. Plus being outside and in the yard feels simple to me. DS likes to help me pick the flowers/plants for our yard too.

I try to keep Sundays to ourselves. Sometimes we'll just hop in the van and go for a drive, out to lunch, to a park - whatever. !
We do this too. Sundays are our family day. Everyone stays home and we hang out together. Go for a drive, watch a movie, etc.....


Friday night is pizza & movie night.
We used to do this too. I think I need to get back into the habit of doing it. Luckily for us, we can go and see a movie on post (we are military) for $.99 and these are new releases too. So the cost is about the same and DS feels "cool" going to the movies.


I made some cards for DD & laminated them. They are for game night, lunch w/Mom, lunch w/Dad, etc., so if DD feels she needs
more family time or 1-on-1 time she can get it.
I REALLY like this idea. I think that I will try it out. Do you mind sharing what is on the cards?


We play games at the dinner table too. One that DS LOVES is trying to catch ppl with their elbows on the table. If caught you are out (for that round) and the last one remaining is KING or QUEEN. We also play the animal game where you have to guess the animal someone is thinking of and you can only ask yes/no questions.

To simplify chores around the house we do this:

I have two large past sauce jars. Inside one jar is 17 ping-pong balls. Written on each ball is a chore:

sweep (2 of these)
vaccuum
wash the dog (dogs alternate weeks)
brush the dog
clean the hall bath
clean the master bath
sweep outside
poop patrol
dust
wipe down walls and doors
mop
day off (3x)

I am missing a couple but keep drawing a blank. You get the idea though.


Everday, Monday through Saturday, DH, DS and myself shake up the jar and pour one ball out for the each of us. Whatever ball you get is your chore for the day. If you get a 2nd day off you have to put it back because only one day off a week. Of course, with some of the more difficult chores we help DS, but the idea is to get him to pitch in, plus, he likes that he has a bit of control over the situation. This is working out magically for us and has helped to keep the household tudy throughout the week. If more needs to be done, then DH and I do it, but at least these things are taken care of weekly.

I downloaded most of the cards from a website, I can't remember the name though. I found them searching google, using "kids coupon book" or something. The cards say:

One Daddy and Me activity
One Mommy and Me activity
One extra story at bedtime
A quiet morning (LOL - i.e., peace and quiet for Mom & Dad)
1 Great Big Hug
Family Time
You and Me Time
Dinner Out (usually McD's to save $)
Lunch Out (can be picnic)
Family Game Night
15 Minutes Extra at Bedtime

then at the bottom they have "from" and "to". She gets them at the beginning of the month and turns them in during the month & I keep them, then give them back at the beginning of the next month.

As for yardwork - ugh. I can't go out in the sun (skin cancer issues). We do have a garden but it's so hot and humid in SW Florida that I leave it to DH. And the lady across the street says her DH does all that yard work to avoid parenting (her words). Now, when we used to go to my parents cabin in the Georgia mountains, before DD started school, we were outside all the time, going on walks, swimming in the lake, picking blueberries, etc., then have a fire at night and make s'mores. Mmmmm. . . .

I have to chime in on the goodness of doing yard work together. We have an organic garden-- produce, herbs, flowers, grass (that is not chemicaly treated and never will be) etc. Working out there together is nice- satisfying and good excersize. Although if that's not your thing, that's ok. :) But I feel like we've climbed a mountain after we've raked, shoveled or weeded. It's a great feeling.

But we love growing things & trimming things.

Together can be doing things out in the world, too. As long as you're doing things together. I like car travel- you can talk and tell family stories. Of course there are also arguments and sibling things, but that's part of being in a family. My oldest loves to tell the story of howhe and his Dad changed 3 different tires on our van within 3 weeks this summer (they weren't even old!) lol. Just two weeks ago, in a snow storm, one of the replaced ones went flat after going over an unseen curb. Tire- changing stories are only funny in retrospect, however. :D

Hmm, good question.

I found that we were always trying to "go" or "do". Running around from one thing to the next was leaving us with no time for each other or for ourselves. So we cut out scheduled extracurricular activities. We stay home, play outdoors, and just enjoy being together as a family. We all swim together once a week, do yoga together every morning, and take a walk together every evening. We eat healthy, home made food, don't make unnecessary trips to stores. Grow a lot of our own produce. Find a way to make do with what we have if we feel we need something. Take care of what we have, so that we don't often need to replace things. I love doing things by hand, plus it gives you a great feeling of pride to know you made it.
I include my children in everything I do, they are of ages where they love "helping" and having jobs to do. We don't watch television or videos. Have a family game night. Have little rituals to connect with each other throughout the day. Use the library. Make time to listen to each other, rather than half-listening while you're trying to plan out the next thing you need to do.

We have mostly gotten rid of everything we don't use. I'm a packrat by nature, so I've been working hard on this, but we're just about there. No knick-knacks makes the housecleaning easier.
I follow a weekly cleaning routine.
We use baking soda and vinegar to clean most everything around the house. No need for a ton of cleaning products.

It's all about building positive habits into your life. If you don't have something, you probably don't need it anyway. If you need something, you can probably wait to get it. If you break something, it can probably be repaired. Why spend money on something when there's probably something lying around the place just waiting to be recycled into something useful?

Great ideas on this thread! I lvoe the ping pong ball idea.

I used to LOVE to be entertained. I struggled with that after getting married b/c I always wanted to go do something *fun*. Dh does not crave fun like I do and it was hard. LOL We moved 2.5 years ago to a smallish town (11,000 people) that doesn't offer much "entertainment" unless you REALLY like Walmart. We don't have a skating rink, fast food chains with indoor playgrounds, kid-focused play centers, a ymca, none of that. It took me almost two years to start liking where we live. I like it now most of the time. We do a lot in the summer outdoors, like go walk trails or go to the fish hatchery or swim at the beach on the lake. I love summers around here. Winters are terrible if you want to be entertained. Anyway, it has been really good for me to learn to be content just existing. LOL Our lives are very simple. Fun for us is bundling up and going to the park or just sitting around witht he family reading books out loud.

I think as the kids get older we'll do like one of my sisters does (4 kids and adding 2 more thru adoption). Each kid can only do one sport a year. It has really helped them simplify and not be at a thousand things every night. She currently has 3 girls and one boy so the girls are frequently in the same activities. They are adding 2 boys.

I htink homeschooling fo rus will help keep it simple b/c we;ll have more time to actually do other things rather than school. We've been in the process over the last several months of really decluttering. Even our meals are getting simpler. I love it!

DH's family lives LARGE. HUGE houses, huge vacations (at least 4 a year) more than one boat, gone every weekend, big new cars, etc. They think DH has lost his mind. :eek:

ok, I've given this some though. And I have the added advantage of having one of Isabelle's friends spending the night here for the first time. It's kind of interesting seeing how our "world" looks to an outsider. lol!

The fact that we limit tv stands out as something that keeps life simple and family focussed. Isabelle's friend has asked repeatedly where the tv is (we do have a 13" tv in my bedroom...no cable so pbs is the only kid friendly station).

Also, having one car for our family does a lot to keep us home...and life family centered. We're home a lot...and don't watch much tv at all. So we have lots of time to devote to other interests.

And, since we're home a lot, I tend to take everyday events to the extreme. I have this part of my brain that, possibly due to my own childhood issues, is preoccupied with creating "memory making moments". Afternoon snack time has become daily tea parties.

And like previous posters have said, we just do stuff together. And there's a whole lotta crafty stuff going on here too. lol!

Let's see...tonight, since Isabelle's friend got here we've:

baked mini muffins for today's tea party

had a tea party

played board games

made matching BFF bracelets with the girls

made dumplings together for tonight's dinner (beef stew)

did makeovers with the girls. Well, they did nails and makeup on each other...I was just there for the french twists.

made, decorated, and flew paper airplanes

paper airplane making turned into snowflake making

then when I was crocheting I was asked to give Isabelle's friend a lesson. We just finished.

Now they're going to bed. And Im pooped! After we do the whole song/prayer bedtime routine I'm going to straighten the kitchen enough to run the dishwasher and go to bed myself.

Anyway, not sure what the point of all my rambling is except to say we spend our time doing simple things, together.

ok, I've given this some though. And I have the added advantage of having one of Isabelle's friends spending the night here for the first time. It's kind of interesting seeing how our "world" looks to an outsider. lol!

DS (6) is having his first ever sleepover too with our new neighbor (9). They have had a wonderful time playing playmobile! But I totally understand what you are saying. A friend was over today helping DH install a fence and his daughter kept wanting to watch tv and I kep shooing her outside to play with DS and the other kids, or to play with the toys, etc.. We do have a TV but as a general rule, it doesn't come on before 7pm. DS was floored tonight when we told him we would hook up the little tv and DVD player in HIS room so that he and his friend could watch a movie while they went to sleep.

The funny part about the night is that he keeps dragging his friend out of his room to play in the living room where DH, DD and I are. DS isn't quite sure what to do with himself when not near us I do not think. :heart:

If something is popular in mass culture at large...shun it!!

:)

With teenagers here, we sometimes have to make them (require them) join in on an activity. We get the teen attitude at first but then the smiles come.

We also do not engage in paid out of the house activities. School activities and related actitivies and that is about it. (with the exception of activities through church and the public library) Lots of family games, watching old family movies is a hit and honestly not being "in the world at large".

Michelle
Yep!

I have a 13yo ds and a 3yo ds. Mostly, we just hang out as a family, and with our neighbors/friends. We don't do much outside of family/school/community activites.....And we limit those.

DS1 takes martial arts one night a week and is also permitted to chose one after school activity.....last semester he was on the wrestling team, this semester he is going to be in the horseback riding club. Occasionaly his school has field trips on Saturdays that he will go on. This keeps him busy, allows him to be social, yet still have plenty of time for homework and relaxing. We live right by his school, so I don't have to play chauffer, except for once a week for his tae kwan do, which is only ten minutes away.

DS2 is staring his first activity next week, a music class that meets once a week.

We stay home and in our small rural town mostly......about once or twice a week, we go into "town", about 45 minutes away, to do shopping and the occasional dinner out. Other than that, we just hang out. We play cards, watch tv/movies together, listen to music, work on projects.

For dh and I, we spend time with our friends for fun. We all get together about once a week.......hang out, play cards or games, listen to music......when the weather was nice we had a bonfire each week. Now we meet at someones house, lol. Sometimes we do potluck dinners.

HTH