Ok, I saw a shirt the other day that struck a cord with me... Here's the design.

http://www.northernsun.com/images/thumb/1711AmericanWay.jpg

So, as I am trying to think of a few nice things for the family for the holidays, I am finding it really hard.

The girls do not have a ton of toys, we like to keep it down to a smaller quantity of quality toys... But, in the grand scheme of things, they have waaaaay more than enough. Grandparents are calling to see what else they need, and in my mind, I feel like we don't need more stuff. We have tons of kids books (over 400), puzzles (over 30), art supplies out the wazoo... They have more then enough stuffed animals, dolls, accessories...

When I think of the people in this world going without, it makes me feel like we are contributing to the problem by accumulating more and more...

Not to mention, it's really hard to keep a house clean when you have too much stuff...

Anyway, if you try to live simply, how do you feel about accumulating more and more and more this holiday season??

And another thought I had, Kaya got a few gifts for her birthday, and the packaging the things came in was just nuts. A whole big bag of packaging for just a handfull of gifts. I have a hard time taking part in it.

How do you "live simply" during a time when everyone seems obsessed with needing more things?

I wanted to add that I did find at least a few nice things for the girls. Nico is getting a small violin and Kaya is getting a banjo, a Mama here is making them snowsuits for theirs dolls, etc...

But, I was wondering if anyone could recommend a place where you can "adopt" a child in a poor area and sponsor them. It would be great if it was the kind of place where we could see pics of the child and maybe write back and forth. I was thin king that might be a good "family" gift.

It's been weighing on me lately as well. I battle w/being a packrat since I grew up with a mom who doesn't let anything go and a father who grew up in England during the war and equally feels the need to save everything. I've been working so hard to decrease and with that comes just not wanting anything more. I want more time, time to spend with my children, not time spent maintaining stuff. As a single mom, fixing everything falls to me or my teen and it seems we spend endless hours just fixing this "stuff", and then once it's fixed, cleaning and maintaining it.

Don't get me started on the land fill thing. We decided to start taking our garbage to the landfill because it costs us $1 a month to take what it was costing $23 for them to pick up. :eyes: It's insane, really. Garbage as high as the eye can see, piles of appliances, tires. . . and then there's the animal trucks, which are filled daily mainly with all the 100s of dead chickens from these local chicken farms (the chickens that Tyson doesn't take, and then Campbell's doesn't take of the tyson rejects for their chicken noodle soup).

I want to run away and hide.

I have always had an issue with that. We all have more stuff than we need. I prefer, when I do buy, to buy non plastic things, used items, natural items that will biodegrade, and heirloom items that can be passed down. My fav place to buy new things is here: www.novanatural.com. Books can be had for cheap used, and can then can be given to others to enjoy. There is no reason to not take care in what and how we consume. i also avoid buy plastic toys or anything that is heavily packaged. It's why i prefer wahms and natural catologs for when i do want to give new gifts and such for folks.

My family is great about this. We do celebrate various holidays to mark the passage of time. But my MIL refuses presents of any sort, and forces cash on us at holidays. My own family is totally reasonable and gives things like tickets to plays and events, and even then we pick names, so nobody is having to waste money on too much. My father once gave me a $50 GC to a used clothing store he knows I shop at. From that $50, I made a much needed $300 on Ebay after fees. Nothing cluttered my house and others were able to get used , excellent goods (I won't buy crap even to sell) they needed/wanted.

Some books that I've enjoyed regarding personal responsibility are:

Your Money or Your Life
Affluenza
Tighwad Gazette (These folks walked their talk and hardly ever bought anything. They also grew their own food. The author doesn't look like a hippie or is a vegetarian, so too many folks dismiss as her as mainstream and she is nothing of the sort!). Ignore what to do with plastic twist ties and get to the heart of not wasting and using what exists, and being a good steward of the earth.

I also try not to direct negative enegery to others who are not yet on the path. We are all works- in -progress. And not everyone is going to agree on what is reasonable or what it means to be a good steward of the earth.

Well, admittedly we bought quite a few things for the girls - but I hope not too excessive since 90% of it is WAHM-made. So I guess I feel better supporting another mama, buying quality handmade items that will last until the grandkids are around ;), and one other thing we do to offset:

We go through everything we have before Christmas and donate at least half. We make sure that the stuff in excellent condition is given appropriately to a child who will appreciate it, and then donate the rest to the salvation army or food pantry/shop in our area. We always have, and we tell the girls that in order for Santa to bring something new for them, we have to make room - and that we are so very fortunate to be able to have the Christmas that we have, that we need to be sure all those toys that don't get played with have a nice, loving home to take care of them so they aren't sad on Christmas.

So, it's just part of our decorating now - we go through and take out a lot of what has accumulated first.

We also try to put consumables on the kids' christmas lists (because they get gifts from grandparents, as well as gifts from cousins when they pick names). We also REALLY encourage handmade gifts because our family is tremendously talented and I think that people often shy away from handmade because it isn't as *valuable* in their eyes. However, it is WAY more valuable to us and we always cherish the things made with love :)

Thanks for the recommendations, Laurie. I have always meant to read those Tightwad books, I should look them up the next time we're at the library.

I'm really trying to pare down this Christmas--we decided, on both sides (my family and dh's family) that we weren't going to exchange gifts with the adults (we always just drew names anyway) and were only going to buy for the kids. I've asked everyone to please not buy/spend a lot--there's just no point to it. My kids have enough stuff anyway. It's going to be great, financially, too this year.

I've bought a few things for the kids at thrift shops (hey, a 3 year old doesn't care if his "new to him" legos come in an official lego box or a recycled box that mom makes all pretty), Santa got a gamecube off ebay for the family ;), I'm giving Jacob some money so he can pick out what he really wants, etc.

I've tried to stay practical, too...for my mom and dad, I bought them a new cordless phone w/2 handsets since I knew they needed one anyway. I bought a meat market gift card for Jacob's godfather, etc...just trying not to perpetuate the "stuff" mentality this year. I feel good about it, too. :)

well - my kids will get more 'stuff' but the old 'stuff' gets cleared out. This weekend and next are our own personal toy drive. We will box up gently used toys and games. We usually drive them down to the shelter but our neighbor told us she's collecting for her school (for the blind) and so we'll donate to them instead this year.

It helps teach my kids about giving during the holiday season and it makes room for new toys. So the shelves will be cleared within the next two weeks.

well - my kids will get more 'stuff' but the old 'stuff' gets cleared out. This weekend and next are our own personal toy drive. We will box up gently used toys and games. We usually drive them down to the shelter but our neighbor told us she's collecting for her school (for the blind) and so we'll donate to them instead this year.

It helps teach my kids about giving during the holiday season and it makes room for new toys. So the shelves will be cleared within the next two weeks.


we do that too. i usually do it at least twice a year. i don't necessarily mind my kids having lots of things, as long as they are all used and appreciated. i just don't like all the junk toys that somehow find their way to my house.
i just added more to my to-do list. i haven't cleaned out the toys yet. YIKES!!

I am really struggling with this this year. I did finally come up with some things I feel pretty good about. My kids have way too many toys. DH picked some RC cars which don't reallly fit with my feeling of what they should get, but I can live with it. Last year was way worse, so this is good.

I have also dramatically pared down the stocking thing. Often I feel compelled to get little trinkets that really are not played with after January 1. I bought some nice musical instruments, treasure bags from a Mama here, WAHM bath fizzies, socks for the boys, hair things for DD, croaking frog "drums"(my boys love frogs), and there will be a few treats--St. Claire tarts and Tropical Source bars from my co-op, maybe some organic jelly beans or gummy bears, an orange in the toe. I was inclined to buy some other chocolate because we are back on dairy currently, but after reading the chocolate thread, I've changed my mind!!!

I gets antsy a lot this time of year. I feel sorry for the people wringing their hands over the fact that they can't afford Christmas. I see the gift-giving, in general as sort of optional. I feel sad to see people put the holiday up so high on a pedestal that they run up the debt to pay for a lavish holiday or they work so hard to provide a huge quantity of gifts and toys for children who don't really care after awhile because the amount is just overwhelming. I want people to have a relaxing fun time with their family.

Not having TV helps here. They watched it on our vacation and came up with a lot of things they wanted after that. It has since dropped down to 1-2 things that they are interested in.

I try to get each of my children one thing they really want (in my price range). They get a few gifts from my in-laws and my parents. It usually works out to a pretty modest amount.

I'm struggling with this year too. Our family used to buy to excess, but times and circumstances have changed. This year my kids are each getting one "big" thing. C. is getting her Inuyasha costume made by Hastings, and Walt is getting a toy kitchen that I'm buying second hand if possible. C is getting some books I got from paperbackswap, and Walt wants a backpack on wheels. They don't need anything else, but I feel weird that they won't have a ton of boxes to open. My stepmom used to be really into Asian themed decor, and she's recently redecorated and boxed it all up. I'm having a hard time convincing her that C would be totally thrilled to get a second hand sake set and her geisha figurines for christmas, but she feels weird about giving her "used" stuff. I'm trying hard to change how we do things, but the kids are pretty entrenched in the consumptive habits they were taught when they were younger.

We have always gone easy on the kid's gifts. This year we are doing combined gifts. The girls are getting a wooden kitchen that dh is making and the boys are getting a $25 T-ball set. Both will be well played with. I also picked up some old comic books off ebay and will get some used pokemon cards for their stockings. The girls will be getting things for the kitchen in their stockings.

The big change for us has been with the little gifts we give to neighbors, teachers, coworkers etc. In the past I have baked up a storm and gotten overwhelmed never making as much as I'd like. The expense was big and they had to be delivered asap so they would be fresh. the food has been fine because it is consumable but really, who needs more fudge and cookies this time of year. lol!
Also having to use the paper plates etc for packaging is not good.

This year I have made up soaps (still a consumable gift) and we are giving them in reusable cloth gift bags. Not sure how many of our friends will reuse the bag but it's worth a shot. If they throw it away at least the cotton will biodegrade unlike a plastic bag. I'm going to resist the urge to put tissue papper in the bag since it is just a throw away decor. Nice, simple, and won't go bad if we happen to not get them all delivered in 2 or 3 days since the baby is comming. We can take weeks to give them out and everything will be fine.

I am struggling with that this year as well..but mainly because after our car crash the other day, our CHristmas money is gone. I am so grateful that we had not bought a bunch of junk for the kids.

when family calls to ask what they girls want/need...tell them things like:

clothes, pajamas, socks, books, crayons, videos if you watch them or music cds if you don't, instruments etc...it is ok to tell your family to get things that go with your lifestyle. I tell my mom to go easy on the toys and she respects that, you know?

also, when the holidays come around, the kids know it is time to go through their stuff to take to the thrift store. no matter how bad off we are, we still donate so that someone else can buy things for their children too.
it makes them feel good.

:hug:

like barb, we'll clear some unused "stuff" out before x-mas.

i *try* to get things that won't be shelf sitters & dust collectors. this year that DID include some barbie & pegasus things for dd b/c she LOVES the pegasus ~lol.

stocking stuffers & just about everything else is natural/wooden or wahm-d made.

so i am hoping we did ok, i hate the mall & prob. won't even buy anything there at all.

We try hard to keep things minimalist each year. The focus is on handmade gifts. I usually give one handmade gift to each person on Solstice so it doesn't get lost in the gifts from the grandparents and all the hecticness of Christmas Day. (We celebrate both Solstice as a religious holiday and a "secular," cultural Christmas.)

I am not having that hard a time this year, LOL - at first I was, I could just think of *nothing* they wanted/needed, but then I thought of a few things and even went a bit overboard in terms of cost, but got nice, heirloom things, or things they really need, like warm jammies and bathrobes that I am sewing, and I splurged on good wool for warm sweaters that I am knitting.

We got rid of so many toys when we moved here - literally about 70% of the toys were decluttered/given away - that adding back a few seems okay.

I agree, Stacy, it's hard to see people feel inadequate because they can't buy heaps of junky, commercial toys for their kids...it's not what it should be about, at all. We definitely focus on caring and being generous. For us, this means crafting/making gifts for the kids' teachers, aides, and everyone at school; baking and sharing; crafting and giving personal, meaningful, noncluttering gifts to extended family (we did a photo book of the kids' year with captions, digitally made up and then printed and bound, for example).

Eek, time to run...the dishes and kiddos are calling. :)

Well, for us Christmas is a religious holiday and we focus on that aspect of the season.

Don't get me wrong, we enjoy the gift part of the holiday, too - it just isn't what's most important. This year the children each picked out one thing they really wanted and that's what they are getting, along with a few surprises - mostly things I've made.

Our church and our community have a variety of ways to help others - we have a mitten/hat tree, we fill stockings for needy teens-things like that. We also like to find out what our local animal shelters need and give to them.

There's no reason to buy into all the commercialism of this time of year if you don't like it. Just do what feels right for your family.

suggest childreach or heifer international

heifer.org - they have a catalog where you can purchase a llama, goat, chickens etc for needy people. I guess if you are vegeterian that may not be the best for you but reading the testimonials of how these animals can bring people out of poverty is compelling.

Now childreach is the organization featured in the film About Schmidt. Here is a blurb about it:

During this week's Academy Award ceremony, Jack Nicholson and Kathy Bates may win honors for their work in About Schmidt. But the character that has left the deepest impression with moviegoers is known only by his first name: Ndugu.

Although he appears in the film only through still photos, the Tanzanian boy plays a big part in the film's plot. Nicholson's character, Warren Schmidt, is a retiree searching for meaning and purpose as he looks back at his life. His choice to sponsor Ndugu through real-life child sponsorship group Childreach is what ultimately gives him hope. "We're all pretty small in the grand scheme of things," Schmidt says at the end of the film. "The most we can hope for is to make a difference."

From early in the critically acclaimed film, when Schmidt sees a commercial to help Third World children, to the end, when Schmidt hears back from his "foster son," child sponsorship plays a major role.

More than two years ago, About Schmidt's producers contacted Childreach to be the child sponsorship organization in the movie. Childreach has 100,000 U.S. sponsors while its parent organization, Plan International, has a total of one million child sponsors throughout the world. Not only are the company and the commercial shown in the movie real, but Ndugu is as well. Actually named Abdala, the 6-year-old boy is now sponsored by the cast and crew of About Schmidt.

Because it is such a pervasive theme, child sponsorship has received widespread press attention since the movie debuted in February. An article in Australia's The Age earlier this month said that Plan International's sponsorships have quadrupled since the movie debuted. The company expects to raise over $21 million globally because of About Schmidt.

This is the one time of year we buy toys (other than birthday). We started this year by going through their things and selling $350 worth of toys (some was NIP Woodland Fantasies).

They are getting Rokenbok, a K'Nex set, and some Darda track. Plus some "sparkle rocks" (fool's gold) as that is all my 5.5YO is asking for. Stockings will have fruit and a small amount of candy from the HFS, plus spool knitters.

We really had to clear out a lot before we would consider buying the Rokenbok. My parents went in on it too, and there was a sale and some specials at the toy store.

We have 8 to buy for, 7 family members and an elderly friend. We try to give homemade or useful/consumable gifts. The family does gift cards to bookstores quite often.

We have 6 children to buy for. One is a toddler and is getting some Jack and Lily shoes (I think; I paid but didn't hear back). The rest will get something practical, like books, clothing, or art supplies. I am waiting to hear back from their parents for ideas.

It is hardest for DH and I. Do we stay really frugal, or do we spoil each other a bit? I was all for staying frugal, and then found something I wanted for him in the $2-300 range. Coming up with something for me was really hard.

We do "adopt" 2 homeless children over the season, but the gift limit must be strictly adhered to.

Kimberly

my boys just turned 4 and 6 last week (and my oldest will be 15 five weeks after x-mas) so with birthday and x-mas gifts it could be a bit much. we definetly clear out and give away this time of year-- but honestly we keep it pretty lean all year round.

but in all honestly the younger boys don't want a thing for their birthday. we are having a family party tomorrow and some of our friends ask what they would like. and i know they don't quite believe me when they i say 'nothing'. i told one friend they would love some new jeans-- they love jeans and only have 2 old pairs each.

they wrote letters to santa and the snowman (yep snowman too :) ) and all my 6yo asked for was a scarf, a ball of yarn, and a hat. my 4yo ask for a hat, a boat, and a real jet ski for papi :) .....

i feel very strongly that the fact that they don't watch TV plays a big role in them not coveting cr*p.

luna

We're encouraging relatives to get less for our kids too. We couch it as not having enough space (which is true), but really I just don't like having an overwhelming amount of stuff.

How about something like art lessons or horseback riding lessons? I'm asking for a museum membership from my ILs.

Also, I encourage and give home made gifts. I make PJ pants for lots of family members. It's becoming a tradition and one I feel good about. I'm told my 10yo nephew is hoping for a pair! That means a lot to me.

I am also encouraging 'recycle' giving. Rather than people buying things for my little kids, who don't know the difference anyway, I'm telling people to re-gift to them. My sis was getting rid of her DDs doll moses basket and I said DON'T! Give it to Leah for Christmas! Who cares if it isn't new, it would be perfect for you, kwim?

I am having a hard time buying more stuff.. I walk around the store and look at all the neat things, then i think that next year those will be the things that i bag up for good will and it makes me not buy anything... I hate having too much stuff and have been trying really hard to declutter... I know they will get enough stuff from relatives anyway... They are all getting new britax carseats this year, 2 have came and waiting for the other 2.. but when i tell people that i think that may be it, they think i am mean.. and that carseats shouldn't be a present... The kids are all really excited for the carseats.. My 3 year old had to wait while hers was shipped back and a new one came.. she asked where the broken one was everyday till the UPS guy came to get it... Shes so happy with her new one... The others ask when a week is up.. too bad the company added another week to the wait..

I totally believe in recycling gifts, and I agree that TV plays a huge part in our problems. DS, 4, and DD, 2, yell, "I want that!" at virtually every commercial. Fortunately, I guess, because they do it for EVERY COMMERCIAL, I in no way feel there is something out there that either of them needs to have, whereas, if they only said, "I want that" at a particular ad, I might feel that pressure a bit more, YK?

With that said, I don't think anyone is getting anything advertised on TV. And I don't think they'll feel like they're missing out, either!

Well we usually keep the gifts down or try to. This year we are giving lots of gift cards, that I have earned through mypoints. I chose barnes & noble so people could pick up books which I think are really underated gifts. I am also making gift baskets with coffee and some type of treat in it for the adults.

For our boys we are getting them all bikes. That is there one big present from us. If we have the money we are going to get them bean bags. For their stockings they will get some candy and they will get new toothbrushes from us.

Since we are in our new place and only get pbs, that has helped the wants alot around here. I took the boys to Target with me and I told them to really look through the toys and decide what 2 things they really wanted for Christmas. I used these ideas for my parents to get them gifts. G wants a playmobile pirate treasure chest. E wants a t rex mountain. J is getting the little people castle. Tim's parents are getting the boys a gift all together, a basketball goal and then the boys will each get a small dino which goes with their set.

I usually try to make them a present but I don't think I am going to be able to this year (time and money) so we will see. Also we like to buy dvds and books. So we may still get them each a book but we will see.

We also just cleaned out a bunch of toys, some I have listed here and I have more to list, some we donated to the church and some we are giving to a local batteried women's shelter.

When the boys asked what we were doing with the toys I explained that we had alot of toys and some children didn't have any so we were going to give them to them. That if we wanted to get new toys for birthdays and Christmas then we would have to make room for them. They were ok with that.

We sponsor a child through savethechildren.org and you can write letters and send stuff :)

great thread. Just wanted to add though, that the consumer thing is not just an American thing. Yes, the USA does lead the way, but trust me when I tell you that other countries are following suit with a penchant. Here in England it is crazy just like back home. :eyes:

On that note... we got rid of *everything* except for the very few things that we really felt attachment to before we moved. It was quite the eye opening experience to say the least. And we don't really miss any of the things we got rid of. We miss people, we miss places, we hold tight to our memories and understand more than ever that what is truly important is not the objects. Its the love and friendship that means the most to us. This year we found out just a couple weeks ago that mom has a large tumor and will have surgery and begin chemo next week. Her prognosis is good and it will be the best christmas present ever to just be able to hear her voice.

Which makes me think - what is it about the holiday that means the most to us? It isn't the stuff, it is the people and the love. It is traditions and marking of passage of time,and the celebration of the time that we have already been given. This year we will be creating new traditions in our new home, marking major passages, and being thankful beyond words for all that we have. :heart:

Meeshi, we institute a policy--for every toy that comes in, we donate or give away another. Our toys are all nice (because we also try to keep down clutter). Sometimes I will give away some and just box up others, for times when we need a quick pick-me-up kind of day. (maybe everyone else has said this, I haven't read replies yet. :) )

ETA, we don't buy the boys gifts at all, they just get gifts from relatives.

Great post, Meeshi! This year I'm making everything for the kiddos (with the exception of some books and a few wahm items). I'm also making everything for other family members, and a couple of dh's gifts.

here are my gifts:

hemp jewelry
handmade soap
handmade lip balm
fleece mittens
waldorf dolls
fudge
cookies
flannel pj's

I've only just started on all of these gifts, so I do have a lot of work ahead of me. I'm just taking time throughout the day to work a bit more. It makes it fun for me and the kids.

Also...we're avoiding stores as much as possible. I did get some basic toy catalogs like Magic Cabin and Back to Basic Toys. The kids have fun looking through them to get ideas.

We have always had a "1 thing in- 1 thing out" rule. I count the presents we get, and Abel and I choose that many things from our old stuff to give to charity. We often also re-gift things that we get that we don't really care for- we have a special box in the basement for just that purpose.

I alos BEG our family members to give us consumables for the holidays. Movie passes, grocery gift cards, restaurant gift certificates. That way, we don't accumulate stuff, and we get to treat ourselves to special things throughout the year.

I buy practically nothing for other people. My family will get homemade jam and bread, knit hats from my yarn stash, and maybe a CD or 2. Abel is getting one science kit from me, leftover from some clearance sale at the end of last year.

I just refuse to complicate our lives with things.

I may be flamed. But my kids are having a HUGE Christmas this year, thanks to my mom. They will probably get about 2x as they would normally get. My kids lost everything in the hurricane and I think they deserve to be "spoiled" a bit.

But all that being said I do think Christmas is out of control, I have a friend who spends at least $1,000 per kid(she has 3) on what seems like nothing but junk :rolleyes:

All family gifts we will give will be handmade, and probably pictures. My kids enjoy making things for others.

I think we've done fairly good with our gifts this year. Benjamin will get some toys, but nothing too outlandish. My ILs have always done a HUGE Christmas, but hopefully this year they got the picture that we don't *need* anything. I told her for DS to get things like Crayons/craft supplies, bubbles, etc...things that we'll replace throughout the year as they run out. They did splurge and get him a pedal tractor for outdoors, but aside from his swing it will be his only outdoor toy right now.

I mostly posted because I wanted tell a little story that seems to fit this thread. Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty *well off*. I can see now we weren't rich by any means, my parents always had used cars that were driven until they couldn't be fixed, we had a huge garden and the majority of our food came from there, clothes were always passed down until they were unwearable and then they were rags, etc....but they also splurged every once in a great while on things. Like getting us a pool (above ground, nothing fancy) that lasted for over 10 years! But our Christmas's were always very modest, I never remember getting the amounts of stuff that my ILs always give us even now. Recently, my mom and I were talking about her getting started crocheting again like she did when we were little. We have lots of beautiful dolls that she made us that my sister and I both treasure (as well as dresses, other toys, etc). She told me that the year that Cabbage Patch kids came out, my sister and I both wanted one very bad. I don't even remember it. But my parents couldn't afford to get us one even if it was our only gift. So my mom decided to attempt to crochet one for each of us. She told me that each night after we went to bed she worked on the dolls for over a month. She said she cried every night because she wanted to get us the real thing, not some dolls she made. Well, obviously we LOVED those dolls! I remember thinking how neat my *Cabbage Patch kid* was compared to my friends *real* doll. I still have it sitting proudly in my home. How sad though to think that my mom cried because she was so wrapped up in getting the *real* thing huh? I know we wouldn't still treasure a *real* doll like we do this one.

I don't have any feelings either way about getting more "stuff", but darn it I desperately WANT that Hoosier cabinet in your siggy pic. :smirk: It's beautiful!

Every year, Kaleb and i sit down and go through all of his toys and pick out a bunch to bring to the toy drive here in town. When i tell him these thing are going to kids who won't get christmas gifts he is very willing to part with alot of stuff. It has worked really well for us every year.
Also we only get the kids 3 gifts each. One thing is bought and the other two are made by us.


Julia

I think I've done really well this year...well compared to past years lol.
Aaron sold a ton of toys and the kids both gave up 50% of what they had this year to charity.
I also donated boxes and boxes of stuff.
It felt good, both to give and to be rid of the clutter!!
We like to purge right before Christmas and birthdays.

I may be flamed. But my kids are having a HUGE Christmas this year, thanks to my mom. They will probably get about 2x as they would normally get. My kids lost everything in the hurricane and I think they deserve to be "spoiled" a bit.

But all that being said I do think Christmas is out of control, I have a friend who spends at least $1,000 per kid(she has 3) on what seems like nothing but junk :rolleyes:


:hug: I'm sorry you think you'd get flamed for that!! I'm so glad your kids will have a special Christmas. It's not the same as adding 2x as much on TOP of everything they already have, and getting a lot of stuff to replace everything they lost.

And I can't imagine spending $1000 per kid. I just can't even wrap my mind around it. I have "wants" that we won't get, but even if I got EVERYTHING on my mental wishlist, I can't even come up with $500 total. Wow.

Like Lisa, the holiday is focused on the religious for us as well and we try not to dwell on the gift aspect. WE do three gifts for each child, to reflect the gifts of the magi - one "physical" (this year it's ice skates since the older boys are taking lessons) one "mental" (board game, computer game, puzzle or a book) and one "fun/luxury" (this year it's a joint gift for the older two boys, a set of the really nice long-range walkie talkies) I hate bringing more stuff into the house, so we also do a "helper hunt" around the house the first week of Dec, and the boys each pick out several things they'd like to give to a child at one of the local domestic shelters. Then we go sometime in the 2nd or 3rd week and deliver them, and the boys have a meal and play with the kids.

For family gifts, I always ask for an animal from heifer for my gift, and DH asks for a donation to Bethany Christian Services. For our gifts to each other we usually do an "experience" thing (a weekend away, a play, concert, etc) This year I'm getting DH a tangible thing that he's been wanting forever, it's a wire tree to hang in our living room and he got me tickets to something (I don't knwo waht, but the fedex envelop arrived yesterday from tickets my way, LOL!) We really are conscious of trying not to add to tthe *stuff* and I think that our focus is really able to stay on what we think the season is about :)

The girls do not have a ton of toys, we like to keep it down to a smaller quantity of quality toys... But, in the grand scheme of things, they have waaaaay more than enough. Grandparents are calling to see what else they need, and in my mind, I feel like we don't need more stuff. We have tons of kids books (over 400), puzzles (over 30), art supplies out the wazoo... They have more then enough stuffed animals, dolls, accessories...

We hit the point of being tired of just having "stuff" too, and simplified this past year. I am so much happier this way.

How about giving away some of the puzzles you have, and letting Grandma get the girls some new puzzles. That way you can still keep the clutter down, while letting Grandma still buy the girls a new gift they will love.
Same with books. My kids get bored with the same books, so during the holidays I like to go through the books, get rid of some, and that way there's room for some new ones without adding to the clutter. You could also do the same with stuffed animals and dolls. Keeping a set amount of favorites, and giving the rest away to those who don't have any. Then the girls will have the space to receive another doll or stuffed animal from a relative. Oh, and new stuff doesn't have to be new. You can replace things given away, with gently used items from a thrift store or garage sale too.

I mostly posted because I wanted tell a little story that seems to fit this thread. Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty *well off*. I can see now we weren't rich by any means, my parents always had used cars that were driven until they couldn't be fixed, we had a huge garden and the majority of our food came from there, clothes were always passed down until they were unwearable and then they were rags, etc....but they also splurged every once in a great while on things. Like getting us a pool (above ground, nothing fancy) that lasted for over 10 years! But our Christmas's were always very modest, I never remember getting the amounts of stuff that my ILs always give us even now. Recently, my mom and I were talking about her getting started crocheting again like she did when we were little. We have lots of beautiful dolls that she made us that my sister and I both treasure (as well as dresses, other toys, etc). She told me that the year that Cabbage Patch kids came out, my sister and I both wanted one very bad. I don't even remember it. But my parents couldn't afford to get us one even if it was our only gift. So my mom decided to attempt to crochet one for each of us. She told me that each night after we went to bed she worked on the dolls for over a month. She said she cried every night because she wanted to get us the real thing, not some dolls she made. Well, obviously we LOVED those dolls! I remember thinking how neat my *Cabbage Patch kid* was compared to my friends *real* doll. I still have it sitting proudly in my home. How sad though to think that my mom cried because she was so wrapped up in getting the *real* thing huh? I know we wouldn't still treasure a *real* doll like we do this one.


That is so sweet. The present I miss the most from childhood is the homemade slippers my grandma would make us every year. We didn't get much, and I actually do remember some of our store gifts (like my little blue radio), but the thing I remember best is grandma's slippers.

We're not personally buying much - Garfield books and DVDs for D, board games for all, a Jango Fett toy and a little lego set for Patch, and I'll make dolly diapers and fix a hand-me-down wooden cart from Tracey's kids for Rowan. Plus a couple of outdoor toys - a disc swing and one of those balls with the handle.

STUFF STUFF STUFF. That's what it's all about right? LOL

I too am trying to be very selective with this years gifts. The kids have so many toys with lots of pieces that just don't get used. In that regard, I think a lot of the issue has to do with organization. I'd like to get a nice toy organizer (yeah, more stuff to organize the stuff, LOL) to put in their room (currently most toys are kept in the basement). I'd like to have a storage system where the kids can put stuff back in a specific storage container, so it's always there when they want to play with it. The problem is they get so many toys that have multiple pieces, they pieces get lost, then the toy is unusable.

I grew up with a mother that operated by the standard that if something wasn't used in 2 months, then it was GONE. The polar opposite of a pack rat. I'm not quite that bad, but too much "stuff" makes me feel smothered. I like moving just because it makes me clean out our junk.

Anyway, I do agree with you. I would like this year to remain a simple year, but I always end up getting caught up in the buying frenzy. Family is buying for all of us, so I feel I have to buy for them... I am really having a hard time with the Christmas season, because it's just only about material things for our extended family, I hate to say it. And I have money spending issues!
:eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

The story about the Cabbage Patch doll made me realize something; the only toy I still have from my childhood is a doll crib that I got for christmas when I was six. It is very simple and I always wondered if my dad had made it. Turned out my parents bought it at a yard sale.

I have not had a hard time at all getting all the kids gifts this year.

I did get them all a few treats...the girls journals and notecards, Gift card to pick out their own clothing, then a synthesizer dd wanted adn we are working on getting my teen son a drum set.
For the litle ones, Sigg bottles, homeade underwear, books and a few clothes....
Dh gets a beatle cd he has wanted and a handmade mug by Jon.

My family got handmade soap, crafts, etc... and some flower holders made by freespritmom.

And we are striving to take everyone out to Branson to see the lights and Christmas shows-My stepkids will be in town then and possibly my odler kids, but not confirmed.

I must say I feel absolutely wonderful for giving everything I am giving because they will enjoy them and they meet a need they have.
I ahve been working ont heir holdiay gifts for about 6 months now...Still attempting the drum set and then I am done:D

i love shopping (spending $) way too much to have a simple xmas :eyes:

i picked tan up the other day early from school, as a matter of fact...for an "appt"...an "appt at the MALL ;)
had to get dh's xmas gifts & look to see if there was anything i liked. i got him some cologne from nordstrom's, and a pair of levis & a nice pair of born's from dillard's.

he'll prolly get me jewelry now that i'm wearing sterling and there's more variety for him to choose from.

the kids...well, you prolly don't wanna know what all the kids are getting~let's just say, if i handed my older kids a pair of gloves or pjs for xmas gifts, they'd ransack the house iso their "real" gifts. sigh. i have greedy arse kids. -but i want them to like "stuff", so they'll work hard to get their own nice "stuff".

I guess this is one time of year where being cheap and having a cheap family pays off, LOL.

Seriously, I'm just not into "stuff". SO was giving me the affluenza quiz today & laughing because I *SO* don't have money & greed issues. I actually have a deep hatred for money & what it creates. Having things doesn't make me feel better & I know it doesn't matter to my DD, so I don't bother. Heck, this is only the 2nd year that I'm giving her a present at all & she's 5! She's getting "exciting" gifts like clothes that she needs (thans to a growth spurt over the summer) and 1 toy.

We have a small family as well, so DD will only get gifts from her father & I and my mother. She might also get a bit of money from her great-grandparents etc but that goes straight into an education fund that we use to pay for classes & homeschool books. It's easy to keep things simple when there are less people involved too I think.

This is also the perfect time to purge. We gave all our old childrens books to a local organization that is giving them to families for the holiday. We emptied all our stuffed animals at the Marine Corps Toy Drive. We had a mitten tree at our local library & next year I'm hoping to knit well enough to help keep it stocked. I also just got a food donation bag from the boy scouts & salvation army & will be emptying everything out of my pantry that I haven't used in the past few months into that.

I encourage anyone who wants to help a family out during this time of year to DO IT LOCALLY! maybe it's just me but the feeling that I get knowing that my neighbors have gifts under their tree for their kids or food to feed them is bigger than the feeling I would get helping a stranger in another country. Churches, food pantries, the salvation army, militay organizations, VFW's, Moose lodges, Elks Clubs and almost every city in some way or another has programs for helping, use them!

Chole

I give homemade things, often wrapped in cloth bags that I make. My family has started to recycle them so we use less wrapping paper. My goal is to be paper-free within our extended family by next year. I also give Gifts of Service from seva.org. I try to pick things that go well with family members - my mom and my auntie both work with newborns so they "get" the donation for midwives, my college-aged cousin "gets" the donation for women's education in Guatemala, etc. I really like supporting Seva and not buying stuff people don't want.
My mom does go totally overboard for my dd, but we compensate by getting one really nice gift and that's about it. This year she's getting a wooden kitchen from Santa.

ok, so I have a question for all you wonderful mamas. Do any of you have dh's who are/were very materialistic and how did you hadle it? My dh is all about how many presents are under the tree and it drives me up a wall. Not only is it a waste of $ but he's not the one who will be cleaning it up either. I have mountains and boxes of toys in the basement that aren't played with already and no one will let me get rid of them. It's really causing a source of stress for me. You all seem so happy and calm, I'm like...aaaaahhhhh NO MORE TOYS!! and he won't tell people what the kids need because he wants them to get toys. They could use some nice new sheets for their beds but no, they don't want to open sheets.:rolleyes: When I know perfectly well the kids would like that.
Well my vent is over, I would really like some advice on how to convert dh ;) Also I just want to say that you guys are awesome for being that way about Christmas/Holiday season!

I don't have any feelings either way about getting more "stuff", but darn it I desperately WANT that Hoosier cabinet in your siggy pic. :smirk: It's beautiful!

thanks!! It's still got the shipping receipt in it for 1901 from Montgomery Ward. It's great for baking!!!

this has been a great thread!!

i picked tan up the other day early from school, as a matter of fact...for an "appt"...an "appt at the MALL ;)

ROFLOL!!! Okay i will admit, I do this too sometimes. Ill get my girls early and we'll go get our nails done or go shoe shopping or something fun like that ;)

As far as Christmas....my ILs and parents are getting them big stuff. Harley is getting a game cube and this Chicken Little game that she is obsesing over, Mikayla's getting an iPod, they are getting a new TV/DVD player.

I honestly dont know what dh and I are gonna get them. Mikayla has asked for a few new pairs of Gap jeans in size 8, since her 7's "are a little snug". Also a few Old navy performance fleece pullovers. Im tripping over her name brand specifics. Ill probably get her 2 of each, since she does need more warm clothes. All Harley has asked us for is a pair of pink barbie snow boots that she saw in a toys r us catalog. The company i work for has a deal with TRU and they are opening up for 2 hours just for our employees and giving us 25% off everything on Dec 19th, so i think ill go and find those boots for my girl!

Besides that, I dont know what im getting them. I havent bought a thing yet!

As far as paring down, i know i said this somewhere recently, but we always donate previously loved toys to Goodwill and Domestic Violence shelters. We just did this a few weekends ago and i have a box to take in tommorrow (the company i work for collects for Domestic Violence). We do this often, not just at Christmas time.

If you're looking for local children in need, check the Angel Tree, or local Churches or local organizations that help needy families.

Well, I usually ask the grandparents for things like museum memberships or similar "experience-based" gifts. Then throughout the year, I make sure we remind them that we are using their gift and really enjoying it.

Tara

Charlotte-- there is a wonderful book called "Unplug The Christmas Machine" that your dh might enjoy. It's not anti-chrstmas and it doesn't make people feel bad for enjoying the season. It's to help people figure out what they love the most about Christmas and making that the focus.

It's not that your dh is 'materlialistic' perhaps. Many folks enjoy giving each other gifts, enjoy recieving them etc. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with that at all. Most cultures have some sort of celebration where gifts are enchanged. The thing with Christmas is that 100 yrs ago, merchants changed how we celebrate, seeing it as an opportunity to be in the red at the end of the year.

Prior to advertising and media, Americans celebrated a simple Christmas, which was not even much of a gift-giving holiday. Media is a powerful aid to culture change. (Which is why I shake my head when people think watching commercial TV is completely harmless for small children). Newspapers, and then movies, and TV changed an entire holiday--and not for the better. That tells you something about the power it will have over the Christmas list of a child. Media makes one heavily desire items we didn't even know existed prior to the commercial.

Long-winded here, but I think you would enjoy the book. It's not a book with a religious focus (many non-Christians celebrate the holiday as a cultural and solstice event and the book understands that). Although there is a lot of discussion regarding the religious aspect of Christmas; basically it's for everyone who celebrates, including mixed faith families). Unplug The Christmas Machine is about helping people idenitify those aspects of the season that are most important to them, with suggestions on how to meet those needs, including thoughts on handling extended family. It's a very friendly, thoughtful book.

Our family has followed the practice of cleaning out and giving to charity for years. It really does help to teach the children valuable lessons.

We are cutting back in many ways. For Christmas this year, we are cutting back even more than last year....both in $ and in what they get. I'm cutting what we spend on each child by 1/3 as compared to last year.

Also generally speaking.....I do not feel right about having more than a handful of shirts for work. I realized that even with working outside the home as a teacher I only need a handful of work shirts. No reason why I can't wear the same ones over and over again. I do not need to keep up with the other teachers!! (I need to set an example instead) Also for my everyday/casual (non-professional) clothing....I'm cutting that waaaay back also. I have taken boxes upon boxes to the Christian Storehouse in the past couple weeks and have a half-dozen more ready to go! (and I'm still going through things)

What was so touching was what happened two weeks ago. The week after I had taken a load to the Christian Storehouse, one of my students came to school wearing a new scarf his mama got for him. Guess what? That scarf use to be my daughters....she made it 4 years ago and it still looked like new when we donated it. Look who chose that donation!!! One of my students moms....and that little guy was sooooo proud of the scarf. Talk about a touching moment for me to see. I couldn't wait to tell my daughter about where her scarf went. (and she knows the child from when she has volunteered in my class!!!)

However, it still does not seem to be enough, YK???? We are focusing more on volunteering locally. It has become easy to give away things and money (when we have the money to give *lol*).......and it is easy to become lazy once something becomes easy to do. (Am I making sense?) So we have to take another step and the logical next step to me was volunteering weekly. I'm lined up to start training for a charity in two weeks and I hope to get my older children volunteering there in the summer when they are not in school.

But....it still seems so woefully inadequate when I see the lack.

Michelle

We have a pretty strict rule here about getting rid of something if we get something. Maybe not so much thise year, since we just purged so much to move into the smaller house.

After the holidays are over, Abel and I will go through his room and make room for the new stuff. We take all the old stuff to a charity, usually the hospital thrift shop.

I alos try to by things that aren't material. Like this year, dh is getting a pass to the national parks, something he'll really use, but won't take up space! And Abel is getting art pens, which will help use up the copious amounts of paper he laready has stashed in his room.

I give homeade things. Jams, crackers, knit things. I only get one thing per person except Abel and David get 2 or 3.

Oh, and I went to this waldorf craft fair yesterday and saw these very cool gift bags that you can make out of old sweater sleeves! So for my mom , g-ma and my sis, I'll buy some nice piece of jewelry (thrift shop) and put it in the neat, re-useable gift bag.

Meeshi, I don't know how big your new house is, but if you have the space, why not ask for something special for your girls that people can contribute to.. like maybe a cedar chest for each? We're asking for contributions toward a playset :) For Eric and I, we're asking for house stuff.. my mom bought us new pots and pans and a new comforter/sheets (one is housewarming, one is xmas), my Dad is buying us a couple new lamps for housewarming/xmas, etc.

This year I'm not feeling bad about Christmas.. we moved and got rid of a TON (ask xt just how much I got rid of!) and we'll get rid of a lot more once we get our stuff back. The kids have had some time away from most of their toys, so we'll be able to figure out what they do and don't really miss. :)

Lindsey's at an age where she's outgrown a fair amount of her toys.. they're little kid stuff, and she's a big kid now. We're getting her a bunch of only hearts club girl stuff and some things for her room. She'll be getting 2 leapster games. From Santa she's asked for a polly pocket hairstyling doll. We'll order her a new recaro carseat as well, since we need a carseat she'll fit in for Eric's car as well (the radians will move to his car). The kids exchange gifts with eachother as well.. Leila got her a deck of gingerbread playing cards from the $1 section at target, and Josh is getting her a bottle of chemical free nail polish.

Joshua has decided that many of the toys he had in his room are things he's not interested in keeping anymore. He wants playmobil and art supplies. He'll be getting 2 leapster games. From Santa he's asked for tree blocks. He'll be getting a recaro seat as well. Leila's giving him snowman playing cards and Lindsey got him a rubber duckie that's a pirate.

Leila will be getting a leapster and two games. She's also getting a dolly that Steph made for her. From Santa, she's asked for "clicky dolls" (fisher price snap and style dolls). Lindsey's giving her a princess rubber duckie, and Josh is giving her a ballerina outfit for the clicky dolls. She's got two carseats, so her other gift will be bedding for her new room, since she's never had a room before.

Gifts to other people are ornaments (made by the kids), a new picture of the kids (since Leila's grown hair), chico bags, eco bags (both bought through coops) and soap from motherhues. I feel good about all of that. Oh, I bought my mom a frame that says "grandkids are for hugging" for the snapshot we just got of her and all 7 grandkids, and a new coffeemaker since her's kicked the bucket while I was there.

I have not read the whole thread..but I believe in loving christmas...our focus is our children, and doing as much handmade things as possible. So..we are ordering some customs from Joy, got some Melissa and Doug stuff (all educational toys) from a local WAHM (www.peapiebaby.com) and I will be making them some things and getting some much needed winter pajamas.

For the rest of my family I am making rice heating pads.
For my neice I made a mermaid doll (in the crafty mama section)
For my little nephew I made a knitted wool bear.

Simplicity and value and spending time loving our babies is what it's all about, not stuff. :D

Jodi really did get rid of a ton of stuff. Literally. Had we weighed it, it would have been at least a ton. She did great. Really got it down to what was important to her.

I know this is an old thread, but what a great one to bring back. :)

So this year, I'd say I'm really grateful for our togetherness, and one of our main gifts to our family (my kids, DH and I, and extended family on both sides) is going to be the experience of being together. I'm spending pretty much the whole Christmas budget on renting a house near my sister for a week and then driving to Florida to see the other side of our family. So much nicer than things.

So this year, I'd say I'm really grateful for our togetherness, and one of our main gifts to our family (my kids, DH and I, and extended family on both sides) is going to be the experience of being together. I'm spending pretty much the whole Christmas budget on renting a house near my sister for a week and then driving to Florida to see the other side of our family. So much nicer than things.

Ahem...please remember to drop by on your way past!! Exit 390!

I too have been thinking about this a lot. In a couple of months my boys and I are going to be moving back home to my parents house so I can continue on with some cancer treatment and we are going to be staying in one room in the house and in their camping trailer in the driveway. I'm really going to have to cut down on "stuff." Really the boys have only a few favorite toys that they play with over and over.

I wish we could just tell people don't buy us gifts because we don't need them. They could use some new clothes but I guess grandparents don't think clothes are a fun gift to buy.

So, I guess I really don't know....I'm going to go back and read the other responses to see what others suggest.

Tawnya

Funny how perspective can change in two years time. When I posted this thread initially, we were doing AWESOME financially. Now that we're in a serious financial disaster, I am sweating over not being able to get anything for the girls. Luna won't understand, but Nico and Kaya will surely notice. Feast or famine, it is all perspective.

This is the first year we've started to be extremely conscious of not putting stuff on the credit card. I think that's a huge part of holiday spending - the perception that it's 'deserved' or 'special' enough to go further into debt. That's why so many people funk out with depression post-Christmas... No more shopping, no more gifting, then the bills arrive.

What an enlightening, therapeutic thread (and it's good to see some of the people I've missed from 2005 - where are you all hiding?) Sometimes it just takes someone else saying "I'm right there with you" to let you feel it's alright to NOT participate in the 'normal' mode of operation.

Ahem...please remember to drop by on your way past!! Exit 390!

You, my friend, are part of all this togetherness for the holidays. Now that you're in my favorite place on earth (and directly on my path to Tampa), it will be a given that we stop there. We're also planning to visit with GA people. :)

You, my friend, are part of all this togetherness for the holidays. Now that you're in my favorite place on earth (and directly on my path to Tampa), it will be a given that we stop there. We're also planning to visit with GA people. :)

Well, there's only one thing to say to that! YAY!! :cuc:

*sniff* don't suppose there's a detour through Washington on the way, is there? :(

Funny how perspective can change in two years time. When I posted this thread initially, we were doing AWESOME financially. Now that we're in a serious financial disaster, I am sweating over not being able to get anything for the girls. Luna won't understand, but Nico and Kaya will surely notice. Feast or famine, it is all perspective.

i'm so glad you said that, meeshi. i am usually SO excited about simplifying and the minimalism i practice at christmas, but it has always been voluntary. now that we don't have enough money, it's a bit depressing. i REALLY want to be totally fired up about the 6 sort of used presents i've gotten for ds at yard/consigment sales throughout the year. i REALLY want to be happy about our decision not to buy anything else for him and not to get anything for 6month old dd, but it's just not that fun. not nearly as fun as totally voluntary...lol!

ok. I've thought and thought about posting and I've not done it but here I am. I haven't read the other responses either.

I'll admit it.

I love to shop.

Its 4:35 on black friday and I'm getting ready to leave now. I've bought stuff. Lots of stuff. And I will probably be buying more stuff.
I haven't worked outside the home in 7 years. It is my first Christmas with a paycheck in the bank and one coming next week. Tom is working and getting overtime. It won't last and we know it. There is some money saved for either disney or the next lay off or both.
We have debt and not from buying tv's or going on cruises but from feeding our kids and fixing our vehicles and paying medical bills when I wasn't working and past layoffs.

I like shopping. I like nice things. I am buying my friends and family nice store bought gifts this year (and some nice wahmama made stuff too), but it is not a frugal, hand made, thrift store christmas this year and I"m ok with that.

We will be packing boxes this weekend to take to the shelters as we always do this time of year. We will declutter, we will share our good fortune and we will make room for more stuff lol.

Sorry. Its true. Its funny cuz its true.

Ok - time for me to shop. Have a good day ladies

You can search out some organizations in your area and donate to them. In America the needs around Christmas time are usually pretty much met but what about Mexico, Canada, Russia, etc... I would have to check my links but there is an organization that builds homes for family's in Mexico as well as offers education.

You can try donating to Habitat of Humanity , The Farm, and sometimes even just talking to some friends you might find someone close to you with a real need. Does someone need a little extra to make this months rent?

Not sure where you live but even here in Ca it gets pretty chilly in the evenings and I can't imagine being out there in the night without a nice warm cap, gloves, and coat.

Wouldn't it be the most Awesome thing to leave a bus boy a $50 tip? Talk about way out there! No one ever thinks about them, the waitress gets the tip and splits it with the bus boy but what about just giving to him. Most likely that $50 will be greatly appreciated and enjoyed.

How about offering to fill the gas tank of a low income family? Most people know who it is in their communities that struggle or are a little less well off.

Job Tips can also be gifts. If you know of a job that is available, spread the word.

Blankets are a great gift as well.

Children are really easy to please. They really don't need a lot but we love them so much. Give them Time and a listening ear and some playful moments and they'll love you to pieces.

Great topic Meeshi.