I'm frustrated with AP stuff right now. I'm starting to feel that it's a bunch of crap.

Exhibit A: Lauren - happy, confident child. Polite and friendly once she knows you. Very attached to both me and her father. She only slept in our bed until she was 6 weeks. Slung only about 3 hours/day. Put down often to play by herself next to me while I did other things. AP scale = 5-6

Exhibit B: Jonathan - happy, confident child. . . IF he is being held by me. Didn't send him to his own bed. Slung and/or carried nearly every waking moment. AP scale =8-9.

I cannot put him down. He can be down by himself for - literally - 1-2 minutes before he starts to cry. Pick him up and he's happy (well, if I'm the one holding him).

I feel like I'm a slave to him. I cannot leave him with anyone. He won't take a bottle (and we've tried - I've burned over a gallon of breast milk on attempting to feed him a bottle) and it has to be ME that carries him.

I had to quit a bible study group last night because I've been bringing him with me and he just wouldn't settle and I got so tired of walking circles around the library while everyone else was watching a video. If I leave him with my dh during that time, he'll probably scream his head off the entire time. If I bring him, he won't settle enough for me to be able to focus on the group.

We were supposed to spend the night at a hotel for our anniversary (my parents are coming to town just to watch the kids overnight), but we won't be able to do that because a) he won't take a bottle, b) he wakes every two hours to eat, and c) he wants only ME to hold him.

Then, his poor sister is always hearing, "Lauren, I will do this after I do X for Jonathan. . . ."

Please don't tell me to hold him more because I don't think it is really that possible for me to hold him MORE than almost every waking second.

But, when he's being held, he's an absolutely delightful, happy child who is loved by all, but so was his sister and she was held far less.

So, is it cry it out for play time?!? J/K, but sorta not really.

rebecca..i'm sorry. that is really hard.

but...i will say...i don't think it has anything to do with what you are doing differently. children are just so different. jackson and savannah are night and day. he is so much more happy and calm all by himself....and i've parented them nearly identical.

unfortunately one doesn't doubt themselves until they feel that what they are doing isn't working. i know i started getting 'crazy' last week and dh and i figured out it was because i was so tired...nursing a lot at night. it really made me looney. jackson miraculously gave me ONE night of sleeping for 7 hours straight...i felt like a human again. REALLY...i felt sooo different.

Is there any time coming up in the near future that you can take a whole day and nap every time Jonathan naps...nurse him laying down....have dh or someone else take care of lauren all day...and you catch up on your rest. I think that would make a big difference for you.

:big hug:

HUGE HUGE :big hug: & i'm sorry. i dont have an answer, just some commiseration. my ds, now 3, was one of those. i used to joke that he was working on being an only child because if i had more like him i would just die! he did get better, but he kindof had to.....dd came along. she is better than he was. i can put her down amongst toys & actually prepare a meal. but she sleeps best if touching ME! like right now she is in my left arm. i laid her down & it lasted maybe 3 minutes, so here i sit.

just try to remember in the grand scheme of things that this time is very short & as much as you dislike it now, you will look back & wonder how it went by so quickly. or you will think (as i do) how on earth did i surive ;)

:hug:

Hugs!! It really only lasts a little while, which I know seems like forever when you are in the middle of it!! Maya was that way as an infant- only wanted me, always wanted to be held, no bottles, nothing. I couldn't leave her for more than an hour til she was a year old. Then she still couldn't be away from me overnight til closer to 2. It's hard, but remember it only lasts such a short time.

It's hard but they are only babies for such a short time. Why don't you just take him with you on the night out? My babies are always very needy. R has recently started playing on his own on the floor for a while, which is nice though. I'm not really a help but it will pass.

My 2nd was like this, he only wanted me at all times. At one time he loved a musical toy so I would jump in the shower and Dh would play with the toy with him, he would fuss at first but was able to be comforted and we would strecth it longer each time till I could leave and he would be ok. He still would only go with dh or I but at least I could get out a little.

With ds #2 we had great luck with the NUBY sippy cup, he would not take a bottle and I was going back to work on weekends so we needed something and he loved the Nuby. you can find it at babies r us,baby depot,walmart and I beleive a few other places, it has a soft nipple. My 2 sisters and a cousin all have baby's within days and a month of each other and they all love the cup. Here's a link to a picture.

http://www.netkidswear.com/12oznunogrcu.html

Good luck

Oh, yeah, I forgot to add that my boys were much more needy than my dd.

Why don't you just take him with you on the night out?

no, see that's the thing, I had been taking him with me and he is just so fussy and demanding at night (because he'd rather be sleeping and gets overstimulated and even the sling wasn't wearing him down) that it is a total distraction. I quit the night out because I do not feel I can do it with him anymore and I can't leave him with dh if I were to go by myself.

This is not meant to be sarcastic (and isn't in reference to anything posted by Mysticmama), but I forget that life goes more smoothly if and when I remember that nothing is ever about me and I have no expectations of anything other than kids. At least that is how it is feeling.

I know he's only little once. I know that as I look back in time this will only have been a short period, but it feels as if the only way I can get through it is to abandon my responsibilities to myself, my husband, and my 3 year old.

With him on me, I can neaten the house and I can often sit with my 3 year old, but I cannot play chase with her, I cannot clean the house, and I cannot cook. I'm exhausted by the time he falls asleep, which leaves me no interest in sex.

Yes, I'm whining.

Whine over. My life is his for these next few years.

With ds #2 we had great luck with the NUBY sippy cup, he would not take a bottle and I was going back to work on weekends so we needed something and he loved the Nuby. you can find it at babies r us,baby depot,walmart and I beleive a few other places, it has a soft nipple. My 2 sisters and a cousin all have baby's within days and a month of each other and they all love the cup. Here's a link to a picture.

http://www.netkidswear.com/12oznunogrcu.html

Good luck

I will definitely try this. Interestingly, I tried him on a sippy cup last night and he actually did better. So, I think we'll try a few different ones and ditch the bottles.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to add that my boys were much more needy than my dd.

my sister says the same thing. Men, :rolleyes: I guess it comes from birth.

nak try a mei tai-- totally calms simon and i can untie him n he stays asleep

I’m a somewhat AP parent, cosleeping, extended breastfeeding, sling wearing mama but I would not have been able to handle a baby who needed to be held all the time. I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time, mama!!
While it is true that babies are only little for a short time, some days feel like forever when a baby doesn’t want to be away from you! I would keep trying to find a toy that he would play with, a swing, a bouncy seat, put him on a blanket, or something else that could give you a few minutes break from holding him. Even if he cries when you put him down, if you keep talking to him while you’re not holding him, he will eventually get the idea that it’s OK to be away from you, especially if you still stay close to him.
I’m thankful that my kids were able to play alone even at a young age, for at least a few minutes at a time. I still struggle with selfishness and wanting my own time, but I’m learning how to balance my time better.
Hope things get better for you!! :hug:
Debby

Kids can be so demanding, can't they... My first was like that. Being that I wasn't working and he was my first, I was able to devote all my time to him. Now that I have a home business, a 4 m/o daughter and my hubby is away, I have 10 things to do at any given moment. It's been very difficult, especially at 2 1/2 years old, for my son to deal with not having mommy's full attention. Most nights I fall alseep with both of them at 7pm because I'm so exhausted from the day.

I, too, hope that there is a light at the end of this tunnel...

-Jeannine

Rebecca
I'm know what you mean..I really do! K was such an easy baby...she hardly ever cried...along comes E and she's jsut like Jonathan...my parents just left after two days of being here and they too were so surprised at how different K & E's baby temperaments are....they also said "we give you a medal" :)

With him on me, I can neaten the house and I can often sit with my 3 year old, but I cannot play chase with her, I cannot clean the house, and I cannot cook. I'm exhausted by the time he falls asleep, which leaves me no interest in sex.

Yes, I'm whining.

Whine over. My life is his for these next few years.



:ditto: :eyes: It's really hard...really hard to have a "high needs" baby.

ETA: PM me for my AIM username...I'll chat (err I mean whine) with you anytime....really!

Also, I found that noise toys give me a few minutes (at the most) to do something away from her. (like check Amitys!)

Rebecca, no advice, just a big :big hug:

Sounds like my kiddos are a lot like yours. DD was such an easy babe all around. DS is such a high needs baby and somedays I just don't know how I am going to make it. Just wanted you to know you're not alone mama! Though, I'm sure that doesn't make you feel any better lol

Is he hitting a milestone? I find with mine, who have all been very intense, do give me an extra hard time when learning new "tricks". Right now ds is working so hard on rolling over, he even does it in his sleep, that he has been wanting to be held all day and is waking up more than usual at night. My guess is that when he learns to do it well he will ease up on his neadiness. Hang in there.

my mom used to say with my brother she would take a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGG walk out to get the mail every day.