I just looked at this place even though I have been with amity mama for a few weeks/months now.
My name is LuAnn and my son was born at 34 weeks on 5-1-05. I was able to pump,and try to bf for the 1st 4 weeks, but than out of no where I dried up, even though I wasnt really producing enough, I still had to supplement with formula just about everytime, but now that he is on formula full-time well we have started solids, I am having a really hard time seeing other bf in public, it breaks my heart, and than for people to accuse me of using formula... :wah: Ok enough about me for tonight just had to talk, one of those nights.
LuAnn

oh i am so with you hun!
i bf my daughter for 4 weeks, my breasts were so big that it actually blocked her breathing, so i stopped instead of seeking help. even though i wish i would have continued, in my heart, i still feel as if that was the best decision. when she was only 4 mos old, i got a breast reduction, knowing i could not bf. once again, still feel like it was the right decision. however, when i got pg with my son, my milk came in (even though i was told it would not) i mean i had a lot of it. well, my son was born 3 weeks early and i has an emergency csection b/c my water had broken and i was in hard labor for 2 days. we both got infections and he had a good amount of trouble. i once again decided against bf b/c i did not want the complications i had b4 and with the surgery, i didnt think my supply would last. it did, even after 4 weeks. i have regreted not bf-ing ever since. everytime i see someone bfing or i sling him and bottle feed him, it hurts. he is now over 9 mos and i still feel the pain and guilt. i think it is something we have to just try to get over. my son loves to be cuddled when he is fed. i still hold him in the nursing position when i feed him and it does help. i hope that you can find something to make you feel better! i had no clue this would turn into such a long post! LOL
good luck!