Ok...my kids are rude. They interrupt people when they talk, they'll shout above voices to be heard, they do what they want without asking, they call each other names, they blame each other for everything, they accuse each other of everything, they are mean to other kids, they insult other people's things/pictures/work/etc. They make demands of people. They whine, scream, stomp, pout and cry. They simply are not nice.

Haley and Jesse really aren't that bad. Haley is starting though. Aaron is the problem. He's been putting on suits and telling people "you're fired" since he was a baby and no we've never seen the apprentice. He wants to be prime minister. He daydreams about being in power positions and telling people what to do and having people "under" him. This is part of his personality obviously.

This is what I told them this am that I would be doing. When they are behaving rudely I am going to say "Aaron, manners". Then they will be expected to immediately stop the behavior and apologize if necessary. If they don't there will be a 10 minute time-out. Aaron is 7 and Haley is 4 btw.

This is the best I can come up with and I 'm worried it's NOT going to be very effective. I've tried to talk to them and teach them the right way to talk to people, to treat people etc. Aaron actually makes excuses for his behavior now, all the time. Like instead of getting that it was wrong to call his sister a little brat he thinks he was right because she was in his way when he was trying to watch tv. Yk?

Also a lot of the time I don't know WHO is really doing anything wrong and who is just trying to get the other in trouble I've even tried to get through to Aaron by telling him that people don't get to the top in power positions without being popular and charismatic.

I could really use some advice. This has been an ongoing problem and has been pointed out by teachers, friends, family etc. I'd love to be able to fix it!

:hug: Parenting can be so challenging!

I think that sounds like a good plan. :) Consistency will make all the difference. ;)

I'm not one to usually jump in with parenting advice for obvious reasons... LOL But some of the things on your list we've managed to do pretty well with. (Just don't ask me about sharing the TV or eating dinner issues...) :hahaha:

Mine are younger (almost 6 and just turned 3), but what I do anytime they interrupt, etc is immediately stop (as much as possible, I mean, I don't care who I'm talking with, I say "excuse me a moment" then turn to ds and deal with it). I say, "(ds) that wasn't polite. Let's try that again." Then I start talking with whomever the adult was once again, and ds knows they have to say "Excuse me please" and then wait for me to acknowledge them before they say anything else. Obviously, they know there are exceptions - if someone is hurt, missing, bleeding, etc they can interrupt. Anyway, I have gotten some really strange reactions from adults. LOL But it's working and AJ (5) very rarely interrupts. I think just the reminder really helps, it's hard sometimes for kids to remember that, yk?

I do the same thing with other behaviors I don't like. We immediately stop and I say, "Let's try that again" or "that wasn't nice" (which requires an immediate apology). If a fit or other resistance follows, then there's a consequence (losing the toy if they were fighting, time out, loss of tv/nintendo time for the day, etc). But usually just stopping and reminding them of the proper behavior works, so it prevents having to do anything like that.

They know that I give them the same respect, so that really helps, I think. I don't interrupt them either. ;)

I've found that if I *act* like I expect something to be effective (even if it's silly or shouldn't work LOL) it works. My sil has tried my method and it doesn't work at all for her, but she didn't expect it to, and she didn't follow through with any sort of consequence if they didn't listen... So I say go with your plan, expect it to work (or pretend really well that you do!) and just be consistent.

With rude comments, that one we're just starting to deal with... so far I just try to really praise them when they say something nice and if they say something unkind I remind them they wouldn't like it if someone hurt their feelings, etc.

Oh, and for reacting properly when the *other* one misbehaves, I reward them. For example, if Wes calls AJ an inappropriate name, but AJ doesn't freak out and scream back, then AJ gets rewarded somehow (sometimes just a hug, or extra privileges, etc). I find when AJ doesn't go crazy and get all upset with Wes, Wes quickly gets bored of calling him names or being mean, yk? It's not as much fun I guess. lol

As far as the personality thing, maybe he needs a good outlet for the aspirations to be in charge? Does he have specific responsibilities around the house that he can do, be in charge of, and be proud of? Something "big"? Can he get involved in politics on some level (I know he's young, but can we think of something he could do to feel like he is - if he feels like he's reaching his dreams, he might not feel the need to try to act out other ways)?

Hmmm... I don't know if this has been helpful at all...

bumping for you. I wish I had some advice. :hugs:

Consistancy will def. reward you, I promise. It's so hard, though to always be consistant. I know right now with the baby, I am having a really hard time with it b/c I cannot neccesary get up immediately and deal with it if she is nursing at the time, yk? And I can DEFINITELY tell a difference.

Best wishes!