AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! !!!!

Where do I draw the line? He had a snack in the car on the way home from school. If he doesn't start his homework right away he procrastinates it until past bedtime. If I give 'freetime' then he procrastinates until after bedtime. If I stand firm and make him do his homework right away when he gets home, he spends the entire time until bedtime throwing fits and arguing. Normally, he doesn't even have 'that' much - a couple of worksheets for English, and copying some words and reviewing in Hebrew. Unfortunately, he missed most of last week and has a ton of make-up work. Even when he does get it done, he does not turn it in.

How am I going to face next year? is he going to make it to 4th grade? I'm counting my blessings that summer comes with no homework.

bump ;peek:

I had the same problem. I wait until after supper before having him sit to do it. This way they have a little bit of free time before it needs to be done.:)Maybe make it a fun time and make a dessert he likes with him after he does it.

Hope this helps a bit.

I would ask him why he has so much trouble doing it. That might give you some insight. You could continue doing it right after school, if you have found that best, but offer a reward for him doing it quickly (and well). If you finish your homework in 45 minutes, we'll play a board game together (or throw a baseball, or whatever he chooses). Also, do you sit with him? Maybe you could read a book or something, while he works, if not.

I would think after sitting in school all day, the last thing he would want to do when he got home was more work. So, letting him run and play, and then using the reward system later in the evening might be a good thing.

Why doesn't he turn his work in? What if you sign it, and then require the teacher sign off on it as well?

We tried the signing off on the homework thing - and it bombed. I wanted him to just bou nce back and forth from his teacher to me. If I let him wait to do his homework, then he just plain won't do it. I agree, it would be much better if he had a break first, but he just won't ever get to the work. So many temper tantrums ensue that I end up sending him to bed. Or, he gets the brilliant idea that he would do his work, but only, ONLY after bedtime. As it is, he does not go to sleep at a reasonable hour, no matter what time he goes to bed. I have allowed him to go to bed later than his brothers - whose bedtime is 7 o'clock; he now goes around 8 or 8:30, but to no avail; he lays awake until well after 9, sometimes 10 or 10:30. Occasionally, he will set his alarm early and get up and do homework before school, but only occasionally. Today, for instance he was up before I was (I get up at 6:30), he even was dressed, but here it is 7:46 and he's not even eaten breakfast and we're leaving in a few minutes. That said, got to get going...

I think that too much homework is given to grade schoolers, in my opinion. Aren't they in school all day? I really don't have any advice, but can't kids be kids still? It is really difficult because school is important and that is what you want your child to respect, but I think that sometimes it is just too much.

We have the same problems with my ds. Granted he was only in first grade this year and only had one 'fun' worksheet to ccomplete a night, trying to get him to do it was worse than pulling teeth. What worked the best for us was after the baby was born, Grampa would pick ds up from school and take him for a treat at dairy queen, but only if would do his homework while they were eating their treat. -I didn't say it was a great plan, but it worked- Ds also gained a few pounds ;)

I know what you mean though about the need to do it first & righht away, or the temper tantrums will ensue. & I could never reason with him about this only takes 5 min, you've been screaming & crying for 45 min, you *could* have had this *done*.

not much help, but I wanted to let you know that I understand what you are going through.I agreee to with the pp there is too much homework given to grade schoolers, but what is a mom to do?

he's using homework as an excuse to push bedtime back.

Could betime be the issue rather than the homework and homework just the "tool" he uses to fight it?

I am a night owl, and going to bed at my parents' prescribed bedtime meant that I would lie awake for hours. I am also an anxious person and was as a kid, which meant those hours were fraught with worry and obsession.

I know Ferber is a "bad word" but this calls to mind a case noted in the book where in a 2nd- or 3rd grade aged child was afraid of going upstairs to bed alone or some such thing and used poor behavior and tantrums to ENSURE that she would be up until her parents' own bedtime.

Just a thought.

Thank you for your replies. I do think that they get way too much homework in school these days - I didn't have homework at all until 4th grade. I wish my kids could just be kids - go to school during the day and come home and only have to play or help a bit around the house. I feel so terrible when I ask them to do chores because the schoolwork is all consuming. As for the bedtime thought...a very, very good point. He is an extremely anxious child and worries a lot at night. For a long time I was letting him read before sleeping and that seemed to help, but when he didn't get his homework done I couldn't in good conscience let him read. He always asks me to sit with him and frequently I do, but when he procrastinates going to bed until 9 or 9:30 and I haven't been able to sit down and eat because I've been taking care of his brothers and him since they came home - sometimes I just say no. I know he needs my attention and I want to give it to him, but I'm so wiped by then. If I don't get some quiet time for me, then I go to bed later and later because I also need time to wind down. Obviously, this is not all about me, but I can't be a good mother without me time as well. Also, pretty much I'm an acting 'single parent' because my dh works odd hours due to his position and he does not think that he is a good parent so he doesn't try.

Give both of you a break and let him read to sleep.

If he is an anxious kid, it will help soooooooo much (speaking from experience!).

Plus, any reading he does on his own is a GOOD thing, just as valuable as traditional homework.

I'm inclined to think so to (about reading before bed); however, it was the only leverage which I had to control the completion of homework. Thank heavens he only has 3 days of school left!