Are my expectations too high for attending toddler birthday parties with my toddler?

IN the past 2 months we have attended 2 parties

The first was at 7pm at a busy mexican place in the middle of the week. We arrived an hour late, the food was just being brought to the table all the parents were totally at the end of their fuses. We sang happy birthday and the mom zoned out. I actually had to suggest she give some of the other kids cake before they start a revolution. She started chatting after serving the birthday girl cake and 15 min passed with my kid going crazy for his slice while she held the knife and chatted with someone.

The second was for twin 1 year olds, party started at 6 pm... by 8 all we had done was eat dinner, then they decide that we woudl all watch the 1 year olds open gifts for over an HOUR!!!! The parents had put up all the toys in the house so my kid had nothing to do but covet the gifts. at 9:30 it was time to watch the 1 year olds eat cake... we left 3.5 hours in one place with nothing polite for my kid to do is all I can take.

Are my expectations too high? My kid is only 2... are my expectations for his behavor not high enough? How should he be expected to behave at parties? Is it realistic to ask him to sit for an hour and watch other kids open toys?

Do all parents experiance this? HOw... what can I do to keep my kids party from being as painful?

am I just preg and grumpy?

I have never attended toddler parties before what should I be expecting?
julie

that is stuuuupid! i've been to a few like that...it's mostly a party for the parents, or so they can put on a show to impress others. Annoying. :shake:
in my little perfect meemee world (LOL) parties are about/for the kiddos (hopefully no more than 10 or so), start at 2:30pm (after nappy), is preferrably at a home rather than Chuck E Cheeze or some other ridiculous place, have lots of activities(hopefully outdoors), quick present opening, fun fingerfoods, and ends promptly at 4:30pm. LOL I've been to a million bday parties in my 11 years of mommyhood...the BEST ones are at home!!!! And ....yeah, I'm probably cranky too. LOL

you probably are cranky...but goodness those parties sound like torture. definitely not cool when you're 2!

Yeah those parties sound like torture but some people can throw a kid party and some people can't, I think your brain just has to function differently ;)

Ds is turning 5 in 2 weeks and for the first time ever I planned an out of the house party. I knew while preggo that I just shouldn't/wouldn't be able to handle a party here so close postpartum (that would have been 2 weeks post due date, potential for still being pregnant). Anyhow we are having a midweek morning party at a local clean indoor play place (like the McD play structures only way bigger, well kept and clean and well closed off from the rest of the establishment- so you don't have running off children to watch).

For all past parties I usually have the party in my home- child proof anything that needs it (no reason to expect other kids to know the safe and un-safe zones that my kids know- why add stress to any child or parent?). I have the food ready when guests arrive, buffet style so no one has to wait. I serve lots of fruits and veggies and healthy finger foods (I have a high counter so it is out of sight and mind for small kids but totally accessable as parents allow). I have juice available but prewatered down- no super high sugar punches. I major down play the gifts and always do it last so people can leave if they want to. I always have age approipriate games for the kids and things for them to do if they don't feel like joining in- we utilize the fenced backyard as much as weather allows. I also always have gifty bags for the kids who come (and their siblings as I always invite whole families) and I make sure it is filled with things like stickers and playsilks and whatnot that follows the theme of the party but isn't 'trash', all in a cloth gift bag- no candy or very little, like one or two pieces and that might be fruit leather.

I adore planning kids parties though- I love themes and I love going whole hog with them.

DS#1-
age 1 we had a luau barbQ with tons of fresh fruits and grilled veggies
age2 frog prince theme party with fleece crowns and frog toys
age3 'things with wheels' all the kids got wooden cars and got to drive them on the masking tape tracks on the living room carpet
age4 'fishes' all the kids got wooden dowel fishing poles with clothes pins at the end of a string. They went fishing over the futon and the uncles on the other side clipped on the goodies for their cloth goodie bags
age5 coming up and we are doing a wild animal jungle theme with color your own zoo animal masks and such

DD-
age 1 butterfly theme party with lots of 'made by me' dress up items for all the kids. Also had the kids 'build their own' butterfly sandwiches. I cut the bread in two triangles and put the points together to make 'wings' then I had a little buffet of various toppings and spreads to decorate the butterflies with (everything from hummus and cream cheese to grated carrot ect).
age2 low key, let grandma do a little thing at her house as we were visiting
age3 asian tea party with low table in the living room, tons of great food, let the kids dig their hands through a barrel of rice to find candy and everyone went home with fabric take out boxes I made and various goodies.


Sarah<-----yakking again

Want to say lots. Typing with only left hand

Party crazy. Should only have as many guests as child's age. Should be before lunch with food or after nap with food. No gift opening for kids too little to have manners, 4 or older, imo. 1 yo parties are for adults, kids don't care. Could go on and on...

I agree LOL
We've done big parties here but always early in the day - 10:30 or 11, serving lunch.
We do gift opening with assistance but this year plan to do each gift as the person arrives and then thank him/her for the gift vs a huge massive gift opening where its chaos, the kids are bored and jealous and no one wants to sit and watch opening presents for 30 minutes. We've done that. Doesn't work.
We always do in home parties in the late morning. We do 2 or 3 short games (or a craft with my turning 5yo and her friends). Then lunch.
Then cake
then play til its tiem to go.
With goodie bags for each child as they leave.

would do afternoons, but most of my kids friends (and my kids nap from 1:30-3:30) so we've decided lunch parties are best for our crowd. 10:30-1pm with lunch at 11:30 and cake by noon so by 1 when its time to go home the sugar rush is wearing off and the kids will hopefully still nap by 1:30 when they get to their own homes.

we're big on theme parties here too and have had some really fun parties. No more then 8 kids. ever.
:)

My son will turn 2 this year. Here is what I have planned. Please let me know your opinons. I really dpnt want anyone to leave thinking "man what was she thinking"

we are having a buzz lightyear party at home... not my 1st choice as I will be pretty good and pregnant but the price difference in home and someplace else (inside cause its june) was pretty significant.

party starting at 3... we dont get up till 10 and 11 is when most of DS's friends go down for naps so people arriving 3-4 seemed the best compromise.

kids play thoughout entire downstairs of house and outside on deck till 4 We will leave out group toys like balls and tunnels and the playhouse. But put away blocks and cars. Deck has basket ball and many ride toys. I hope to have the swing set up by then... but preg nesting ladies often have other tasks for husbands then swing set installation.

Snacks on table. 4:00 candles happy birthday song and cupcakes (any kid who wants their own candle to blow out with parents help is welcome. After that goody bags and people leave.

I was thinking about opening gifts after everyone leaves... kinda like the idea of opening as people arrive though... ideas? How do I get DS and friend to give up gift and go play with party though?

Figure people will head out around 5 so everyone is home and rested before dinner hours start.

Does this sound like a resonable plan?

thanks
julie

julie...that sounds fine! I'm sure it will be great! :balloons:

sarah...okay, you get a pass girl. LOL ...NO WAY would I have a bday party in my home w/ a new baby (unless dh was totally willing to pitch in). It is alot of work(and cleanup)...I'm a snob sometimes, sorry!
Also...stealing this idea for my Caelyn's 6th in June!!! :) Thanks!
---->age3 asian tea party with low table in the living room, tons of great food, let the kids dig their hands through a barrel of rice to find candy and everyone went home with fabric take out boxes I made and various goodies.
did you do a S&S for the take out boxes? I vaguely remember the commotion about e'm...or maybe I'm thinking of the fabric bowls?? :)
At any rate...enjoy DS's bday~ and enjoy walking away from the mess and going to your clean home even more! LOL

julie...that sounds fine! I'm sure it will be great! :balloons:

sarah...okay, you get a pass girl. LOL ...NO WAY would I have a bday party in my home w/ a new baby (unless dh was totally willing to pitch in). It is alot of work(and cleanup)...I'm a snob sometimes, sorry!
Also...stealing this idea for my Caelyn's 6th in June!!! :) Thanks!
---->age3 asian tea party with low table in the living room, tons of great food, let the kids dig their hands through a barrel of rice to find candy and everyone went home with fabric take out boxes I made and various goodies.
did you do a S&S for the take out boxes? I vaguely remember the commotion about e'm...or maybe I'm thinking of the fabric bowls?? :)
At any rate...enjoy DS's bday~ and enjoy walking away from the mess and going to your clean home even more! LOL

I'll find all the pics and do a seperate post later. Also ffs i can send you the paper lanterns and leftover paper take out boxes and wooden chop sticks everyone ate with- and whatever other party leftovers I have :)

Sarah

you are such a darling! Can it all go in a flat rate? LMK, I'll pp you the shipping- dd's bday is the 11th so no rush. *ooohh..I could make her a kimono!!*...you got my wheels turning LOL.... did I tell 'ya how much I :heart: you?????
BTW...your taggie (sent 2 JIC) went out this AM :)

Hi!

Well, I certainly have experienced the non-kid friendly birthday party too. I've been in absolute shock a few times.

When my son turned one we had his party at my parents house, because their house is 3 times the size of my own. They removed everything from the living room except a couch and a few chairs and spread toys everywhere! We had party favors for the kids to take home and it was a theme party for everyone who was into dressing up...Cowboy and Princess! My dad grilled out on the porch and we had something for all our carnivorous and veggie guests, sugar free cupcakes and carrot cake.

I never understood having a party for your kids without the fun stuff. Makes no sense. And Why were both of those parties at bed time? That would make me cranky regardless!

Take Care and good luck! :)