I don't know what else to do. He lies about little things, about big things, about everything! It's making dh and me crazy.
Anyone have any tips on trying to get him to tell the truth? We've tried everything we can think of. I never thought my almost 4 year old would use his cleverness in such a negative way :(
Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.

much love
-Lindsey

Our 5yos has been caught a few times lying. We do our best to verify what we are being told and if it doesn't line up, he gets sent to his room to think about it. It can be frustrating, because I don't want to always doubt his word, so that he never feels as though he will ever be heard. I do hope that this is just a season for both of us.

zoey has told a few lies this past few months and I've caught her in them. She seems to think because her brother can't speak yet its ok to do things and then say she didn't.
We use the comfort corner for her to 'gather herself' and think things thru and usually she'll come out and tell me the truth after a small break in the comfy corner.

She also has enjoyed "larry boy and the fib from outerspace" veggietales movie so we could discuss lies and how they grow and how important it is to tell the truth right away.
She's only done it a few times, but i remember chelsey went thru this phase too .

hugs mama. hope it passes quickly

Lindsey, I have no 4 yr old experience yet to share... but I did just pick up a copy of 'your 4 yr old' - the developmental one that gets raves in the gentle discipline discussion area (there is one book for every age). If you want to borrow it for a couple of months just let me know - you pay for postage. I can ship late this afternoon or friday. hang in there! Cathy

That bites!! Luckily, my 3 year old will admit to whatever she did. My 5.5 year old on the other hand will try to lie her way out of things and blame it on someone else. :rolleyes:

I honestly don't think a 4 year old lies with a malicious intent. I think at this age they are just starting to understand the difference between the truth and a lie (and real and unreal). They are also starting to understand what happens when they tell a truth (often results in a punishment if it is something they weren't supposed to do) vs. when they tell a lie (don't get punished.) It's exciting to them to learn they have some control over their little lives. My almost 5 yo Elise often elaborates on stories and tells outright untruths and she is very *imaginative*.

My best advice is to reframe lies in your head as "stories" and your child as "imaginative" rather than naughty. Often I will ask Elise if she is telling me the truth or a "story". When she knows she will not be punished for telling me a truth (when she has done something she ought not) she will be more likely to tell me the truth. I take this opportunity, when she tells me the truth w/out punishment, to stress how important it is that she tells me truths, I explain to her why, talk about how much I need to be able to believe what she tells me and if she doesn't always tell me truths I won't be able to.

I am sure other mamas have advice on this. . . "Your 4 Year Old" has really good info on what is normal for this age. It's not as bad as it seems, trust me! He is very normal and healthy. If he watches any tv ask him if he knows that the characters and their lives are just pretend. My Elise still wants to jump in the tv sometimes to play with Emmy and Max on Dragontales. It's hard to convince her that she can't. LOL. Although it's our job as moms to teach right from wrong and to tell the truth, I found it helped me a lot to remember where my 4 yo was coming from.

I just wanted to say that I'm right there with you.
We're losing our minds with our seven year old. She lies about EVERYTHING, it seems. Not only in cases when she's going to get in trouble, either. It's SO frustrating.

Well I have a surefire technique for it but I am not sure he is old enough. You can pm me. I can copy and paste it from another board where I answered a similar question..