Tonight Justin screamed in my bedroom for about 20 minutes and I finally just shut the door. He didn't fall asleep doing it, I was able to get him calmed down before he fell asleep, but I feel just awful that he pretty much had to "cry it out" tonight. He's 4, btw.

He was running around, jumping off of the couch, screeching, etc, and DH and I both asked him to calm down and play in the playroom. He was ignoring us, still running/jumping around. Finally Rebecca was sitting in a rocking chair and he jumped on the back of it, nearly pulling the whole thing backwards and I just lost it. I told him he was going to bed immediately, no video. (Yes, he usually watches a short video after stories, toothbrushing, etc, and falls asleep to it. I know it's not the best habit but that's not my issue tonight.) This was around 7:30 or so.

Well he screamed and hollered that he wasn't going to bed, he was too scared to stay in bed (it wasn't even dark yet, and the door was wide open), etc, etc. Finally after about 5 or 10 minutes of this I told him that he could either lay there quietly, or I had to shut the door. He continued, so I shut the door. He just screamed louder, I went in a couple of times to tell him that if he wanted to stop screaming, I'd open the door back up, but he just continued to scream, so I would just shut the door again. He did not open the door, just stood near it and screamed.

After a good 15 minutes, on the third or fourth time I went in, he was hysterically crying and I asked if he wanted me to rock him in the rocking chair for a few minutes to help him calm down, and he said yes. While I was rocking him, he cried that Rebecca was still up (well, of course she was, since I could not nurse her down with all of the screaming!) and that he wanted to try again to be a listener, etc. By now it was nearly 8:00 anyway, which is his normal bedtime, so I told him that he could try again tomorrow.

After he calmed down, I put him back in my bed and turned on the TV very low (just the cooking channel, for the background noise. That's why he watches the video, otherwise he's listening to every cricket and tree frog instead of sleeping). Within 15 minutes he was sleeping.

Mamas, I don't know what to do with him. It breaks my heart to see him so sad, but at the same time, he can't just blatantly disregard DH and I like he does. I know some kids who are expected to "obey" their parents, and while I think that sounds harsh, I do want my kids to at least "listen" to me, which I suppose is the same as obeying.

We've tried ignoring whining (saying "I can't understand that") for probably a year now, and it has not worked. I try to "pick my battles" but you know, sometimes I just don't want to listen to him running shrieking through the house, even though there is not a "no running no screaming" rule. I don't want him jumping on the arms of the couch, and I don't know what strings to pull to get him to stop, because as soon as I'm not in the room, he's doing it again. I would literally have to be within 6 feet of him at every moment in order to catch it every time.

That's my post on my 4 year old, off to start another with my problem with my 2 year old.....

When my girls have that pent up energy, I try to direct them to activites that help them release some of it. We turn on lively music to dance to, set up obstacle courses... I pull off all the couch cushions so they can run and jump or flip onto them. I know some people couldn't deal with it, but I get out the drums and pans to bang on. I try to help them get it out, because to a kid that's got energy to burn, being told to "calm down" can be hard to hear.

On the other hand, I expect the girls to "obey" when they are asked to not do something. For example, I can't handle screaching, so if I ask them to tone it down, that's what they need to do or else they will have some quiet time to mellow out with books on their beds.

I can handle running, jumping, and behaving like crazies, but not screaming.

Just one question that pops into my mind. If this happens a lot around 7:30, do you correlate that to any sort of sugary snack after dinner sometime?

I don't know....do we have the same son? I am so not used to boys. Both of my girls are ANGELS. I just don't get it...

One other OT suggestion, maybe putting on the radio or lullaby CD would be good background noise, too. Our library has a ton of classical and children's CDs to borrow.

No, no snacks after dinner. We usually eat around 6:30, so rarely do they have a snack before 8:00, and if they do, it's crackers and cheese or something like that.

He's usually not this "bad" (for lack of a better word, I know he's not bad, it's his behavior that's bad!). I think he was overtired. He really does just run around and bounce off of the walls all day long though. He will sit quietly for a little while and do something like drawing or playdoh or building with blocks or whatever, but then he has to throw himself around the house for an hour before he can settle down again. I'm assuming this behavior is normal for preschool aged boys, but man, it's wearing on the nerves. Most days we play outside for a long while, but this week has been bad...we have fire ants all over the yard and the guy is spraying tomorrow (natural remedies have not worked and it's BAD), so we couldn't really play out there much last week and now this week will be just as difficult, with the chemicals and all. At least we have three playdates to get out of the house.