My husband claims all kids go through this. I think he's wrong. Tantrums, yes, but not like this.

DS has been having these awful screaming, crying, inconsolable tantrums (maybe that was redundant!) that go on forever, like an hour or whatever...if I didn't intervene after a while and try to make things better it'd probably be for hours. He's had them every day for over a week. He had an ear infection. I thought maybe they'd go away after that. They don't seem like they're just going to stop. What exactly am I supposed to do when he's having one? He just keeps going on and on. I can't just get him to stay in his room and close the door or something. He'll run off or start damaging things, and it's really hard for me to do much with being 8 months pregnant w/ dh out of town for a couple more weeks. It's sooo hard on me and I just need some ideas...if for nothing else than how to keep my cool. Someone please help!!!!!

Is there something in particular that triggers these tantrums? Can you predict when they are gonna happen and maybe distract him somehow?
I know kids do go through terrible tantrums but he sounds like they are really bad ones.
Is it when he is tired?

:big hug: for you. I hope he outgrows it soon.

Sue

There is an great article in one of my old Mothering mags from when my oldest was a little tyke. It talks about the two kinds of tantrums - temper tantrums and tempering tantrums. Temper tantrums can most often be traced to a specific incident or situation that has the child angered. They express their anger, try to get whatever it is they are angry about changed and then are done with it. Like when they want a cookie and you tell them no. Tempering tantrums are more like letting steam out of a pressure cooker. Stress, fears, fatigue, dietary issues, etc. all can build up 'pressure' in little ones and eventually they have to release it. Those are the kinds of tantrums that can go on for what seems like forever and are unable to be consoled, redirtected,bargained, or disciplined into stopping. It sounds like the latter is definately what is going on with your son. As hard as it is, the most effective way to deal with these tantrums is to let them run their course. If you try to interfere and get them to stop it is most likely just going to escalate into something even more difficult. Finding a safe place for them to let their tantrum run its course can be really hard for a child who gets destructive. The time to address destructive expression of their frustration is when they are NOT in the middle of a tantrum. Instead, try to talk about it in a fun, non-threatening way about other things we can do when we are angry, frustrated, sad, etc. that don't hurt others or ourselves. A story is a wonderful way to do this. You can make up a story or find one that talks about stuff like this and read it to him and then have a discussion about it later. We had a book from our library called Bombaloo that was about anger management for kids, lol. I liked that it had a nonsense name for the emotion because it can encompass so many different feelings. Everything from being angry to being sad. With the tempering tantrums a child won't be able to place a name on the emotion they are feeling because it really is a build up of so many emotions. A name like that can mean whatver it needs to in the moment.

No matter what, hang in there. He is going through his own adjustments to lifes many changes in his own unique way. It is hard for us to let it happen, but in the long run, allowing him to find his best way of blowing off steam rather than hold it in until explosion time is best.

HTH.

dd has tantrums much like that. I am thinking hers are due to being hungry but past the point of being hungry - kwim? she also seems to be more proned to them when she has a cold/sick.

I recently read 'super imunity for kids' and it was mentioned that some tantums/behaviour problems can be helped with magnesium and vit b6. he make a referance to 'The difficult child' that I am picking up from the library soon.

is his personality sprited? the 'spirited child' book has helped me deal with how I react to dd's personality and to look at who she is in a more positive way instead of bratty behaviour.

hth - good luck

My dd was like that from age 18 months til 5!! Tantrums...I kept trying to help and figure it out. I was at my wit's end with feeling like I was a failure and didn't know what to do. A wise mama told me to "just love her thru it". I learned to go into the bathroom and lock myself in if *I* felt angry. I also learned not to scream or to try and make it better. I would just sit on the couch and tell her in a low voice that I would be there when she was finished. Her tantrums were "rages" and she looked like she wasn't there. It was truly the worst years. We had them about 1-5x's a day!!

They were usually triggered by being hungry, getting sick, being tired. Izzi figured out that if she drank water during the "rage" it made her stop crying. What a smartie she was to figure that out!

Things got much better. There are some great books. PM me anytime mama...I know how it feels and I will help and listen to any mamas that need it!! I had never met any other mamas around me that had experienced this....so I would have loved to share back then!! :)