I have to admit that I have done some horrible things in my life-ok,got that off my chest. Primarily, they were done when I was a teenager and took everything for granted and was very apethetic towards others' plights. Now that I like to think I have redeemed myself I am trying to develop a close relationship God (I am Episcopal by upbringing.) I pray every night, well, Ok, I may skip a night or 2, lol, but I feel like I am just talking to the air. Can I ask how you "feel" when you pary, meditate, whatever? I feel like I am praying just to make myself feel better that I am doing it. Does that make sense?

I'm a Christain, so here is my take on it. Have you ever told God about those things you did? Just in conversational talk. He already knows them, of course, but confessing them and asking for forgiveness is prob what you need. Then you have to believe that you are forgiven and if they "come back to your mind" you just have to remind yourself that you have dealt with them and not dwell on it.

Another thing that helps me is to read the Bible daily. I have to be "in" the word to be able to deal with things that come my way. It strengthens me for dealing with the good and the bad. Esp the bad stuff that comes up from the past. Hope that makes sense. If it doesn't, pm me and I will try to explain better.

I know that there are many different beliefs represented here, and this is just my take on things.

i believe i am talking to G-d all the time, i dont have a certain time of day that i "pray" per se, more of a meditation on :walking the walk" so to speak. as for specific transgressions, i ask for forgiveness and then concentrate on good works. i find if i keep dwelling on them, then something is left for me to do/deal with - usually more soul searching. if i have done everything i can to move on, but it keeps haunting me - i ask G-d for the ability to move on.
just what i do :monkeydan

I used to feel like I was praying to a big man up in a cloud...I would try to envision him so I didn't feel like I was praying to air...I had several prayers answered in this way.

over time, I left my church and I've become very open minded. When I pray now, I feel comfort and peace....but I don't picture God anymore. I just feel him.

I think how you would feel depends on the person. I think you will just know when he is talking to you. Even if you feel like you are talking to yourself, he is listening so keep doing it. :) God works in ways we can not understand and I think that no matter how hard we try we won't know for sure how we are supposed to feel. I think what you are doing is wonderful, that is so great that you have turned your life around.
Are you involved in a church or woman's bible study or any bible study? I think those would be very helpful ways to get and stay on the right path.
If you want to talk any more feel free to PM me :big hug: