Things are changing around here. [Archive] - AmityMama.com

View Full Version : Things are changing around here.


mamabear
03-12-2005, 09:46 AM
We're having a TV- and computer-free weekend (yeah, see? here I am, LOL - *mostly* computer-free, we are each allowed a few minutes a day).

Dh isn't happy. But I'm holding tough. I already see positive changes in our family and we just turned the TV off for last night and this morning. Usually on the weekends our TV watching goes up...mostly the kids. Jake is having a hard time too. But Katie and I are in bliss.

We had no restrictions on the TV but then it slowly crept up, our screen time, until it was out of control. I wanted to reset everything and give us a break from it. Plus it is 75 and breezy and sunny this weekend - no reason to watch TV!

I am taking back the way we eat. Matt has made the decisions on this for far too long, and it's involved too much junk and not enough vegetables.

I am taking back the house. Everyone is getting a list of chores. Surprisingly, Katie is really into her responsibilities *increasing.* Her list is now:
*feed and water the dog
*help make beds (we have two large beds that we all sleep in)
*clean bathrooms
*pick up toys (with everyone twice a day)
*wash dry and fold her laundry
*put dishes in the sink and wipe the table down (her own place)
*empty her backpack and lunchbox after school and put them away

Jake's is
*pick up toys with everyone
*put dishes in sink
*clean up after himself
(but he is 4, and has developmental delays, this is really all that is appropriate - but I think I may start having him help spray/wipe things or vacuum)

Mine and Matt's are still to be divided, but basically Matt shops, cooks and does the dishes, and I do everything else.

Kbsmama
03-16-2005, 03:15 PM
How are things going? I really need to do this (take control). Way too much time is spent here with the TV and computer and video games. A couple of weeks ago I was working really hard to keep the TV and games off, and we spent a couple of evenings and afternoons listening to music and dancing and playing. The kids really enjoyed it.

I have, have, to keep doing it, and I was even thinking of getting rid of our TV downstairs, and then I got sick, we were out of town much of last week because my grandpa passed away. I am still sick and now DD has something new, so hopefully that doesn't mean we're in for another round before I'm even over the last thing...The TV has been on constantly. DS has been playing gameboy and computer games tons. I just have no energy. I hope I am better soon and can get back on track!!!

mamabear
03-16-2005, 03:37 PM
How are they going? Sigh. Jake is watching Maisy right now. Gah.

We had a wonderful time, just in the TWO DAYS we had the TV off. But dh reacted with a backlash - he felt awful, and decided he had to watch TV Sunday. I didn't blame him. He also decided to go back on the healthy food stuff I'd started, and bought nasty Cheetos and hot dogs and wild cherry Pepsi. (Wild cherry PEPSI???? We never buy 2 liters of soda, and if we do, it's not WILD CHERRY PEPSI!)

We had a big fight because I wouldn't let Jake eat a hot dog as he gets awful diarrhea from them. (They were all beef, not nasty nasty ones.) Katie got stomachaches after eating them. Funny because last night MIL commented that hot dogs are pretty difficult to digest when Katie mentioned she was not feeling good after having had one for lunch. I felt vindicated. LOL.

Anyway, I think the pendulum is swinging back again and dh is over his little temper tantrum via the food and TV. We'll watch a Netflix movie today, but after Maisy the TV is going off...and even better, my dd has completely broken the TV watching habit. She was the one I was most worried about. Oddly enough she bounced back the most quickly.

So, there is still far to go. And gosh, I was doing so good as far as food and exercise, then we got sick, and weight is creeping back on quickly. The food thing is a big one for me. It has to change.

~Bethany~
03-16-2005, 04:58 PM
We have 4 kids here who all want their TV/computer time every day, but we were having serious issues monitoring all of it. The one hour a day turned into two before we even knew it.

Dh downloaded a program that freezes the computer when whatever amount of time you've programmed is up. I'm nearly ready to have him install it on my computer and not tell me the password, lol! (um, I am seriously thinking about doing this :eek: )

They also have a product that attaches to the TV for game stations or TV. It costs a little more than the computer dowload. Both keep ya honest though! :)


I am really hating making all these great decisions and proclamations, then not having the strength to follow through for long enough for it to become 'the way it's done around here'. So I am looking for ways to reinforce dh's and mine decisions without much effort. Cheating? Probably. I don't care.

Working on the chore division and upkeep now. I want to find a fool proof way of getting the kids to DO what we all decided they should without me reminding or nagging. I don't want it to be my problem at all, same as the game time monitoring. Just don't even want to have to think about it. I've got some ideas, I'll let ya know if we implement them and how it goes.

Food is not a worry around here but kudos to you mama's who have to be so mindful.

KimberMama
03-16-2005, 05:50 PM
What I found is that even a little bit of daily TV gets my boys into the mindset that they are going to watch TV and they would continually ask me when they could watch their allotted programs. So we moved it to one 22 minute show in the evening, but found that they couldn't settle down for sleep. So that was it; they are TV free with the exception of our Friday family movie night. It's been this way for 2.5 months now and I am hoping to continue it as long as I can (allowing that at some older age they may be better able to handle TV and we might allow more educational programming). Of course, the focus has just shifted; now DS#1 spends an hour asking me when we're going to have tea and stories. We always do it at 4, but he has to ask over and over again anyway.

Their computer has been a non-issue; DH took it apart several months ago and now they don't even ask to use it. I didn't see any benefit to their computer use, even though they have "educational" software. Well, I guess you could say that they've learned to use a trackball.

DH is still pretty TV focused in the evenings. He watches Laker games, "24", Battlestar Galactica, and has been watching the old Kung Fu series. I can't do anything I want to do when he watches because the room is dark, so if I'm not interested (I watch "24" and Battlestar Galactica) I leave the room to read, crochet, etc.

As for junk food, we're doing amazingly well. DS#1 at age 6 has started eating more foods without complaining. In fact, I was laughing last night at dinner. Right before "24" we saw 2 minutes of a show called Super Nanny. I guess your family has to be pretty messed up to get on the show, based on the preview we saw. Anyway, DS#1 was asking for a second serving of romaine salad with olive oil and red wine vinegar, and DS#2 was asking for more quinoa. I told Mike we should invite "Super Nanny" over so we could give her a few pointers, LOL! DS#1 has even recently decided that he likes cooked onions, not only in food, but sauted as a side dish! Of course, we don't really have a secret trick; it's all a result of continually offering the foods and modelling good eating behavior.

Oh yes, I started this meaning to say that we have TV/computer free weekends about once a month when we go camping. It is always so relaxing.

Peace,

Kimberly

Kbsmama
03-17-2005, 03:21 PM
Bethany,
What is the name of that program??? I need it (for me and the kids!!!)

Thanks,

~Bethany~
03-17-2005, 03:28 PM
The one for TV, game stations, etc

http://www.time-scout.com/learn/index.php

the one for computer (dh is installing this for me Monday, the first day of spring, lol!)
http://www.wieser-software.com/qualtime/?g0

HTH!

3Gs4Me
04-03-2005, 07:00 AM
We were TV free for the better part of a year but when Gwen was born we brought it up so that I would have something to do during the first week when I couldn't do much physically. Unfortunately, it is still out and the boys watch it and often get upset when I turn it off.

Since the weather is nicer now, it is going back into storage today.

We had also been eating less healthy lately because i have been to tired and overwhelmed to put much thought into cooking. With dh's spring break starting yesterday I am hoping to have more time to get a routine in order while he is home to help so that we can get back on track.

dreamseeds
04-16-2005, 11:07 PM
One of the things we have been learning lately about chores and such is that they need to do them adn if not,,that get together, PS2 or X box, sleepover, cub scout whatever is not allowed if they cannot follow through with their basic responsibilities.

Now that we are implementing this system it is working really well.
The part that is hard is ME being organized so that they truly understand(and have no excuses) what is expected of them.

I thought I would share this in case it stirs up ideas for your families.

mamabear
04-18-2005, 10:03 AM
You know, Kristerae, I have found the same thing, right down to it being me who needs to be organized and implement the "rule"!

Today Katie is coming home and helping me clean her room, then doing her homework, before she is allowed to go outside and play with her friend. I warned her this morning. ;)

The weather has been gorgeous and we have had no problem being mostly TV free. I say mostly because my dh watches baseball games in the evenings, and that's about it.

BlueRoseMama
04-18-2005, 01:24 PM
Doesn't it always suck when our men are such CHILDREN! I have been having a hard time with this too... although honestly (and this is TMI I admit) if we have sex more often he is more supportive. :drop: ;) LMAO! Sorry, but it is really true. If I put-out, I can talk to him about what I want to start responcibilitywize around here, and he is super receptive. But blue balls stop most any adult conversation cold with temper tantrums and backlash. :shake:

Anyway... Don was asking me the other day if he and Alex and Cyan could watch Lord of the Rings while I was gone... the first and least scary of them but OMG! Our dd is 3!!!! I said NO and he said "Why? Your dad let her watch Mononoke?" Um yeah, and I would not have let her watch that EITHER! Ugh... (My dad thought that because it was a cartoon it was a kids movie... it is far from it... in fact I have a hard time with that movie. It is Dons.) Anyway... totally ot... sorry.

Alex has chores... he takes out the garbage, keeps his room clean, brings home all paper work and coats and packs he took to school, and weeds the garden with me. He is almost 9, and he gets $2 per week for these chores. For each chore he does not get done, he gets docked $.50 from his allowance. For weeding the whole garden in one set amount of time (or by a certian time) he gets an extra $1. He loves this program... and so do I... all of a sudden I do not here "I don't know where my backpack is" or "I left my home work at school"... money is a big motivator... and I talked with him about my work being the house and his work being school.

For media, we don't watch tv on school days... that is our rule. On Sat and Sun they watch pretty much all day... scratch that... Cyan watches a movie... she gets board, and then she goes to watch Alex play game boy for a half hour or so... gets board... goes and digs in the garden... fills all my plates out there up with mud... comes back in, tracks dirt from the back door to the livingroom, and watches the rest of her show. :rolleyes: The whole time while Alex is playing Zelda. (At least it is a reading game... lol.) It works really well... because then it is the same for the whole family... I don't sit there and watch tv when the kids can't and so we all find other things to do. (Not watching tv on school days includes gameboy, x box, and computer games.)

Food is a hopeless case in this house right now. That is anoter ot... so another post another day. lol...

Love Val