Any moms here with teenagers around age 14 and up who let their kids listen to rap/hiphop with parental advisory lyrics?

I personally do not like it but one of my teens who does not live at home has obtained these while not with me. Now their current home has banned them and wants to send them home here because they are no longer allowed there.

Uhm....so I am gonna get to be the bad guy and get rid of these while they do not want the kids to have them now? I did not let the kid buy these to begin with !!!!!!!!!


Any thoughts?

Absolutely not! What goes in comes out,,,why fill up a mind and heart with crap? if you take up all the space with yucky stuff there is less space for the good stuff... (this is what I tell my kids...)

And being the bad guy isn't terminal,,,I know you have a lot going on with her, but we survived cutting a "friend" out of our daughters life completely,,talk about being a bad guy! She understands now,and is actually relieved,,but at the time ohhhhhhh it hurt us all!

Originally posted by joyfuljourneys
Absolutely not! What goes in comes out,,,why fill up a mind and heart with crap? if you take up all the space with yucky stuff there is less space for the good stuff... (this is what I tell my kids...)

And being the bad guy isn't terminal,,,I know you have a lot going on with her, but we survived cutting a "friend" out of our daughters life completely,,talk about being a bad guy! She understands now,and is actually relieved,,but at the time ohhhhhhh it hurt us all!

LOL!!Way to guess who this is about ROFLOL!! (((hug))))!!!!!

So yeah, the place was allowing it for years and she obtained them there, not here. I only allowed her to listen on her headphones, but only because they sent her with it and we had enough confrontation on even more crucial stuff so I let it be, you know?She was exposed to it 5 days a week there anyhow, it was a losing battle.

But some behaviors already earned her a huge restriction to the stuff. And now that they banned it...well...I am considering calling them and telling them not to send them here either. If she cannot have them, ditch them. I don't want them in my house because I have other kids folks.

The stupidity of these folks never cease to amaze me. Way to chickensh!t out of dealing with it, put them in a bag and send them home.

NOT!

It's not so much the language but the other stuff they say.
When I am waiting at the bus stop to pick up Kate there is a group of young(late teens early 20's) guys that have their radios blasting witht he nastiest stuff! Stuff about gangs and shooting adn stuff like that bothers me more than a bad word.
I listen to Pearl Jam all the time and Eddie has a really dirty mouth but it isn't demeaning anyone, he just cusses as second nature.
Mindi

I wouldn't but then again, my kids don't WANT to listen to that stuff.

What I'd probably do is to sit down and listen to the song together and listen to the lyrics. I'd then ask questions to talk about it "How do you feel after hearing this song?" "Do you think these are good lyrics?" "Do you think that the words/music influence you in any way?" "Do you think it's good to give someone money who talks about doing illegal things?"

I've found that, by getting my kids in a dialogue, they are being equipped with the tools to help them decide these things for themselves.

Ann

We have 2 teenage sons and we don't allow that type of music in our home. They can't buy it and they can't listen to it on the radio. Taylor, my 16 year old, hates the music so it's no big deal to him. Keaton, on the other hand, wants the music but thankfully accepts our rule and doesn't grumble too much about it.

I agree with the above poster. I'm not nearly as bothered by the language as I am with the overall message that some of those songs send.

I have a 16 yr old DD who listens to this kind of music. I allow it but not infront of the younger siblings.

I figure it this way. As long as she stays a honor student and is always,and i mean always, busy with sports. And gets into no trouble i will let it go for now.

I can't pick eveything out for her. It gets to a point where she should beable to pick some things out for herself.

If for some reason things change then i will have to rethink about this possibly differently.

Sue

Originally posted by Suefrog36
I have a 16 yr old DD who listens to this kind of music. I allow it but not infront of the younger siblings.

I figure it this way. As long as she stays a honor student and is always,and i mean always, busy with sports. And gets into no trouble i will let it go for now.

I can't pick eveything out for her. It gets to a point where she should beable to pick some things out for herself.

If for some reason things change then i will have to rethink about this possibly differently.

Sue

I don't have a teen yet, but when I do...

I don't have a prob with the bad language (heck, they hear worse around here....dh has a mouth to make a sailor blush:rolleyes: ), but I sure do have a prob with some of the messages in the songs.

Soo..I would allow the language, but I would want to see the liner notes to what they are listening to, and explain why that particular song or album is not allowed in the house, why that particular song or album is offensive to me, and to them.

When they reach a certain age, they will be able to pick what they want. I think that is going to be 18, though :p

FTR, I am very tolerant with a lot of stuff...we as a family are a very down to earth, grounded family; we can handle a lot of stuff that upsets other people, even the kids (though we still do moniter closely what they do come in contact with). I just don't like the gratuitus (sp?) violence, misogynistic attitudes, objectifying, whatever. I am fine with a lot, though, if it has a real purpose and reason for being there; if it helps carry their message through.

If it was me, with your situation, I would want to see the lyrics...I am sure that where she lives has enough language to make banning those CDs a joke, but the message they are sending to her in her fragile state of mind is a whole 'nother ball game, kwim?

OTOH, she is 14, you are the mom, and it is your house. What you say goes. You know best, even if she doesn't get it yet. She will when she grows up, and has you to thank for her not ending up on the trash heap of society.

JMNSHO!

Murali:p

I don't know. When kids reach a certain age, you can hope that you've taught them well. They just want to fit in and listen to what everybody else is listening to. I know many of us listened to popular stuff when we were younger, I can think of plenty of stuff that was lame that I heard, but my parents never censored anything.

I also realize it is a bit different. I won't encourage it, I will keep plying my kids with new and different types of music, but I'm not going to make them social pariahs either.

However, my 9 yo DD is listening to some stuff I don't approve of. Just a bit too young, IMO.

To answer, I just don't know. At some point you have to trust your parenting.

Depends on the music and the message.

My 13 yo doesn't want to listen to that stuff anyhow...yet at least. ;) Country music is more popular here, and luckily you never hear encouraging things like gangs, rape or shootings in country music. LOL.

She does listen to the Top 40 stuff too....Jon Mayer, etc. But it's all radio tame stuff...nothing I'd not want my younger ones to hear.

Originally posted by ~Denise~
Depends on the music and the message.

My 13 yo doesn't want to listen to that stuff anyhow...yet at least. ;) Country music is more popular here, and luckily you never hear encouraging things like gangs, rape or shootings in country music. LOL.

She does listen to the Top 40 stuff too....Jon Mayer, etc. But it's all radio tame stuff...nothing I'd not want my younger ones to hear.

LOL country music can be quite raunchy. I used to listen to it until we had kids and then I really started "listening" and decided that there were some things I didn't want my boys exposed to.

No they don't talk about gangs and rape but there are quite a few songs that talk about shooting/killing and they diffently have the sleeping around/boozing going on.

Chelsey doesn't listen to rap or hip hop. She mostly listens to alternative rock and christian worship rock music.

Slip Knot, Greenday, Depeche Mode - all stuff me and dh like too. LOL

and her favorite cd is

Bowling for Soup -

which is totally about 80's stuff. And i crack up listening to it.

Theres quite a bit of bad language in that, but i don't disallow it. I mean, i'm ok with the cursing - as long as theres no killing, threatening to kill, etc

I guess I agree that at this age (she's almost 16) she's going to listen to what she's going to listen to and I have to trust her.

I would, but, with limits. I don't want to hear it, and not in front of my younger kids.

My ds1 is 12yo and he can listen to Emenim if he wants. He does, sometimes, and he also listens to top 40, Sarah Brighton (sp?), Phantom of the Opera, Barenaked Ladies.......he has a broad range of tastes and I respect that.


Kristi

Anna,
I think the home she is at is bound to certain things like - they CANNOT throw out someone's posessions. They HAVE to send it home. Just what I think to be true, having worked in similar situations.

Originally posted by grisandole
I would, but, with limits. I don't want to hear it, and not in front of my younger kids.

My ds1 is 12yo and he can listen to Emenim if he wants. He does, sometimes, and he also listens to top 40, Sarah Brighton (sp?), Phantom of the Opera, Barenaked Ladies.......he has a broad range of tastes and I respect that.


Kristi

I would want to hear it...I am tolerant of music I don't like, and I would rather have a good idea of what my kids are listening to. It would be too easy for something to slip by if I didn't have my finger on the pulse...

For the younger kids, my above answer stands. I don't have a prob with the language, but the message needs to be looked at. I don't let dh listen to some stuff around us, cause I don't think we need it in our consciousness. And if I really don't like it, I am lucky that most likely he will not be comfortable with it, either, and if he's not, I MAKE him uncomfortable with it, LOL!

Murali

nope not here. i think that the message is worse than the language, same as some other mama's said. i just think there is plenty of other stuff to listen to.
heather